Margarita De La Luz Gonzalez

On Saturday, August 14, surrounded by her three children, son in law, daughter in law, grandchildren and extended family, my mother passed away peacefully at my home. There is no one in this world like a mother. And the loss of a mother is indescribable.

My mother was loving and full of laugher – and yes, she was a talker. She could pretty much talk to anyone about anything. Her joyful spirit was infectious and she loved when everyone around her was also laughing and having a great time. She found it easy to show compassion and to perform kind acts for others. These admirable qualities were part of her personality throughout her life. But her love for life was not always as happy as it seemed.

At the early age of 6, she was diagnosed with polio - shortly after losing her father – he was only 45. She was challenged with mobility issues due to muscle pain and nerve damage caused by the decease. She mostly relied on a wheelchair to get around due to the side effects and pain - until around the age of 10. Eventually, she and my grandmother moved from Merida Yucatan to Mexico City to be closer to family and seek better medical care.

In Mexico City they had the loving support of her older siblings and other family members and she eventually got better but the pain and nerve damage never went away. The side effects from this decease remained with her throughout her entire life. Eventually, she was diagnosed with a severe form of arthritis, and years later lost most of her sight – but she never let that prevent her from living life

In 1960, my mother married my dad Carlos Gonzalez Alpuche – many of you may remember him as Papi. Shortly after their marriage, they moved to the US to Oakland, CA - the place they called home and where they lived their American dream. My parents purchased their one and only home in November of 1964 were my mother lived for 57 years – 19 of which she lived alone after my father died in 2002. They had three children, my older brother Jose who is just 11 months older than me, (I think that makes us Irish twins if I’m correct) myself the middle child, and my younger brother Carlos who is 5 years my junior.

My memory of our childhood was one that celebrated happy times we spent at family parties, entire summer vacation to Merida Yucatan with my mom -- because my dad would stay behind to work, camping trips with the Gonzalez/Reyes family to Lake Camanche, and the many weekends we spent with the Guadalajara Soccer Club at Raymonde Park in West Oakland almost every Sunday after church.

My mother made sure that we knew that family was important and spending time together was key. She also made sure that we embraced our beautiful Hispanic culture and taught us to appreciate and celebrate our Hispanic traditions. One in particular was Día de Los Muertos – because in our culture it’s important to remember family members and friends who have passed.

She was also a great cook. She was known for making authentic dishes from the Yucatan peninsula – like Octopus with black ink, Cochinita Pibil and her annual Thanksgiving turkey cooked in orange juice. Even in her last week of life, she sat in a wheelchair in my kitchen and gave me step by step instructions on how to prepare her version of mole – which in my eyes was the best mole ever. Her pleasure with food was when she shared her recipes with others – and I was beyond delighted to have her give me her recipe – just one last time.

My mom also had a passion for plants and flowers – her favorite flowers were pink roses. At one point I recall counting over 50 plants throughout her home. That’s a lot - but that’s what brought her JOY. Her grandchildren also filled her life with joy and happiness. She looked forward to spending time with them when she could – and she spoiled them with her love every chance she had. In total she had 8 grandchildren, and 3 great grands.

After my dad passed, I telephoned my mother almost every night. But I could only call her – after her 9pm Novela and before the 10 o’clock news – otherwise she couldn’t talk. Those calls gave us a chance to catch up and me a chance to hear all about her day. I’m going to miss those calls and all those conversations we use to have. But what I will miss most are the times the two of us spent together - especially during our commutes between Oakland and Benicia, and the many trips back and forth to Kaiser hospital. We talked about everything. The good, the bad and everything else she learned on the 10 o’clock news. This year I plan to honor her during Día de Los Muertos with an altar and offerings dedicated to her and all our relatives who are deceased - as she taught me to do when I was a little girl.

As a caregiver for my mom, nothing in this world would have prepare me for the time and amount of care it took to provide for her as we watch her slowly -- slip away. I thank God that my retirement in February aligned with the care I was able to provide my beloved mother. But I did not do it alone. My children, Monika and Juan Carlos, my husband Carlos and brothers Jose and Michelle along with Carlos and Angie and their families, helped me navigate through new and unfamiliar processes, as we delt with our own emotions and uncertainty. Together we were able to provide her the comfort and support she needed until the last minute she was with us.

On July 30, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Cancer. Her prognosis was short - and two weeks later on August 14, at the age of 87, she lost her life to Cancer. I still have a difficult time believing she’s not here - but I keep holding on to hope -- that with the memories that make me smile, and the love she shared with me, are enough to get me through my most difficult days. My mom was a very religious woman, and her faith is what sustained her. I find peace and solace in knowing – she is now pain free, in heaven with our Heavenly Father, all our loved ones who have gone before us -- and once again in my dad’s embrace.

Margarita was pre-deceased by her parents, siblings, husband Carlos of 43 years, and survived by her three children and their spouses – Jose (Michelle Reyes), Margarita (Carlos Martinez), Carlos Jr. (Angie Gonzalez), eight grandchildren – Chantell, Monika, Juan Carlos, Sarah, Jordan, Jessica, Samantha and Isabella, and three great grandchildren – Aliviah, Talin, Kai-Sadie and a host of nieces and nephews.

My Princessa is gone now, but not forgotten. I thank you for allowing my mother’s laughter to be part of your joy.

May God rest her soul and grant her eternal rest.

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Margarita De La Luz Gonzalez of Oakland, CA passed away peacefully on August 14, 2021, surrounded by her children, grandchildren, and extended family in Benicia, CA at the age of 87.

She was born in Merida Yucatan, Mexico on June 25, 1934, to Esperanza Pino and Thomas Ruiz Garcia and later moved to Mexico City. She was the youngest of six children.

Margarita married Carlos (Papi) Gonzalez Alpuche in Mexico City in 1960 and then moved to Oakland, CA where they raised their three children, Jose, Margarita and Carlos Jr.

She was a homemaker, a great cook, gardener, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, and friend who loved life.

She was also a religious woman who believed in her faith. She is now with God who has showered her with a new life without worries, suffering, or pain.

Margarita was pre-deceased by her parents, siblings, husband Carlos of 43 years, and survived by her three children and their spouses – Jose (Michelle Reyes), Margarita (Carlos Martinez), Carlos Jr. (Angie Gonzalez), eight grandchildren – Chantell, Monika, Juan Carlos, Sarah, Jordan, Jessica, Samantha and Isabella, and three great grandchildren – Aliviah, Talin, Kai-Sadie and a host of nieces and nephews.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.sanleandro-fh.com for the Gonzalez family.