She was 95. Born to parents James Bickerdike and Gertrude Elliot in Kansas City, Missouri she was the youngest of two children. Growing up, she and her sister Jean were very close. In their youth (and following them to adulthood), Jean and Gertrude were raised to be strong-willed, independent women. This independence led them both to a love of music at a very young age; Jean playing the cello, and Gertrude the violin. How lucky their parents must have been, having two kids simultaneously squeaking "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" in (or out) of tune, as they were learning to play their instruments. Fortunately, that sacrifice was worthwhile, as both ended up making a career of music.
Upon graduation from high school, Gertrude started working at Western Union where she worked from 1942 until 1950. But in early 1947, set up on a blind date, Gertrude met her husband-to-be, DeWayne Abbott Phalp. With DeWayne having just returned from WWII, and just starting a burgeoning career in sales, I'd wager that she didn't expect this date to amount to much. But as stories go, it was love at first sight, and they were married that same ear, on November 26, 1947.
As a supportive spouse, Gertrude put her professional ambitions on hold to allow her husband's career to grow, and to raise their only son, Stephen, who was born on June 18, 1950. Although steadfastly supportive, Gertrude continued to play the violin, with hopes of one day being able to play professionally. From 1950 to 1960, Gertrude devoted her time to being a mother, passing on her love of music to her son. During these years, she followed DeWayne from Kansas City, to Pittsburg, KS, to Carthage, MO and finally back to the Kansas City area where they lived for the remainder of their lives.
As her son grew older, Gertrude decided to finally pursue her own dreams, of playing in the Kansas City Symphony (then the Kansas City Philharmonic). She studied with Harold Bernhardt starting in 1960, then she auditioned for, and was offered a position with the Philharmonic in 1966. Gertrude remained a section second violinist until her retirement in 1999. In addition to her work with the Kansas City Symphony, Gertrude played the violin with the Philharmonia of Kansas City and was an alto in the Village Presbyterian choir, where she and her husband were members.
After DeWayne's death in 2004, Gertrude spent the rest of her life in the home they built in Kansas City's northland, The Forum in Overland Park, and finally Tiffany Springs Senior Living where she moved to be close to her family. She was well liked by her neighbors, and always found a welcome seat at meals and activities at her apartment. Gertrude could often be found doing a crossword puzzle, watching Jeopardy, or (loudly) watching/listening to her favorite sports: golf and tennis.
Although she was fiercely independent, in her later years Gertrude never hesitated to reach out to her son for help (at a moment's notice). For those who knew her, Gertrude could be described in many different ways. Strong as a horse, stubborn as a mule, but at the same time a loving, nurturing, gentle soul. Her kindness and generosity was without equal; she will be sorely missed.
Gertrude was preceded in death by her parents, her half-brother Harold, half-sister Helen, sister Jean Hassal, and nephew Jimmy. She is survived by her son and daughter-in-law Steve & Gloria, grandchildren Stephanie & Gerry, great- grandchildren Ire & Keanu, and her nephew Douglas Hassal.
Gertrude will be laid to rest next to her husband at White Chapel Cemetery in Kansas City, Missouri. Memorial Services will be held at Village Presbyterian Church, 6641 Mission Road, Prairie Village Kansas 66208 on Friday May 20, 2022 at 11:00am.
In lieu of flowers, please send memorial contributions to Village Presbyterian Church, 6641 Mission Road, Prairie Village Kansas 66208
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