Marylou Kresch

Marylou Kresch, September 7, 1936 -September 2, 2016. Beloved wife, cherished mother, grandmother, sister, friend and teacher. She is survived by Dr. Leonard Kresch, her husband of 61 years, her daughters Kathy Ingber and Jody Silverman, daughter-in law, Cindy Kresch, sons in-law, Kenneth Ingber and Ross Silverman, grandchildren, Jake, Sam, Rachel, Robbie, Danny, Becca and Haley and brother, Jerry Ellen. Her son, Kenneth Andrew Kresch, of blessed memory, passed away on August 25, 2008.

Marylou was a gift to her family and friends that we will cherish forever. In Judaism we believe in angels. She was ours. Marylou filled our lives with happiness and enveloped us with love. She will remain in our hearts forever. May her memory be for a blessing.

Marylou’s funeral was held on September 4, 2016. To read the Kathy and Jody’s eulogy, please see below the attached document. If you would like to make a donation in Marylou’s memory, she was passionate about supporting American Friends of Magen David Adom. The website is https://afmda.org.

KATHY: Today is such a sad day for us. Mom would have turned 80 on Wednesday. Our family had planned to be together today to celebrate Mom’s birthday at Pearl East restaurant because Mom loved Chinese food. Instead we are here.

In the past few weeks, I realize that I’ve been trying to make sure that I have Mom’s voice in my head. I can tell you with confidence that Mom would not want us to be focusing on the celebration we missed. That was not Mom. Instead, she would have told us to celebrate, or at least be comforted by, our memories of the time we had with her. In the last weeks of her life, when she knew that her body was failing, Mom didn’t focus on her pain, but on her blessings. She talked about how lucky she felt to have had such a wonderful life. She had 65 incredible years with Dad and a long life filled with the love and warmth of close family and friends.

I have often thought of the adjectives that I’d use to describe Mom: Sweet, smart, selfless and sensible. Warm, wise and wonderful. Generous, gentle and gentile. calm, cultured and courageous. Elegant, eloquent and educated. I always have been so proud of my Mom. Not just her accomplishments, but the wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend that she was to each of us.

JODY: When Mom came home from her last hospital stay in July, she regaled us with stories about her childhood. Stories that we had heard before, but perhaps listened to more closely then. Mom was Nana Anne and Papa Jack’s cherished little girl and Jerry’s younger sister. To the very end, Mom could recite verbatim the speech that she gave when she presented Uncle Jerry his tallis at his bar mitzvah. She told us about Ackermans Candy store on the corner of the block of her childhood home, where she and her friends enjoyed egg creams and cherry soda, her Fridays with Nana Anne choosing the chickens that would later become Shabbat dinner - that was before anyone cared about the feelings of chickens - and being confirmed with her close friends Bobby Cohen and Annette Sloane. Mom cherished her trips to Macy’s with Nana to buy a new dress before each Jewish holiday and loved helping Nana set up once a month for the day that the mahjong game was at her house, because Nana used her good china and fine linens.

Mom had a 65 year love affair with Dad that most people only wish for. Aunt Carol introduced them when Mom was 15 and Dad was 18. It was love at first sight. They went on dates to a pizza parlor and then the movies. Mom spoke lovingly about her Sweet 16, held in the party room of her building, which she and dad decorated with streamers, and the beautiful organza dress that she wore. They had three children, three in-law children and seven grandchildren who they adored and, together, survived the most unimaginable tragedy, the loss of our brother Ken. We celebrated Mom and Dad’s 60th wedding anniversary last December in Florida. Through her illness, Mom’s focus was not herself, but Dad. For the past year and a half, when Mom’s health was failing, and Dad was caring for her day and night, they lived for the precious time they had together.

KATHY: As a daughter, Mom cared for her parents in a way that Jody and I can only hope to emulate. Mom kept a kosher home for Papa Jack, cared for her parents when they were sick and would run to Papa’s office when he called her desperate for Mom to take Nana away. You see, Papa was a dentist and Nana had an annoying habit of looking over his shoulder and telling him how to fill a cavity. Those of you lucky enough to have known them can picture this. Personally, I’ve never tried that with Kenny. After we lost Papa Jack, and as Nanna Anne aged, Mom supported her efforts to live independently, bought her groceries and cared for her selflessly as she approached the end.

Every little girl wants to be like her mom. But we really wanted to BE her; the kind, beautiful, caring, and brilliant Mom we adored. However, Mom wanted me to be me and Jody to be Jody, not her. As an English professor, Mom was a working mother, seamlessly balancing her family and her career before anyone thought twice about women in the workplace or the work life balance. She showed us that women really could have it all. She wanted us to be independent and supported all of our life decisions, colleges, law schools, jobs, and husbands. Her love was unconditional. It was the love that enveloped us and helped us grow up with enduring self-confidence. Then, there were the little things. No childhood could be complete without the social nicities. Mom taught us to be modest, conservative and, of course, to have the perfect black dress for every occasion. Always elegance over glitz.

Mom lived everyday as though it was her last, so filled with love and adventure. When I considered cancelling our family vacation out West and trip to Israel this summer, Mom objected. She wanted us to seize the moment and enjoy the opportunities we have, because we never know when things will change. She was so right. Not a day will go by that we won’t miss her.

JODY: Through the years, we ALL have marveled at Mom’s brilliance. As an English professor, she could write or edit an essay so well that I was actually accused of plagiarism in high school. My assignment was to write an essay on Camus, The Stranger. Mom definitely understood Camus way better than I did. So, with her help, I started a paragraph with “Cognizant of this inherent contradiction.” My writing was good, but not that good. Mom could not only write, but was a voracious reader and accomplished bridge player. She regularly finished the New York Times crossword puzzles and, in later years, sudoko. Remarkably, even through the pain medications in the past several months, Mom remained sharp and her thinking relevant and poignant.

Kathy used to tell Mom that she was so wise, to which she would reply, “No, I’m just old.” Somehow, Mom always had the answer, whether it involved a family holiday situation, the perfect gift, the right outfit or just plain old perspective. She also was good at giving free advice - she gave it from the heart and was never afraid to let us know how she felt. I remember Mom’s advice when I went off to college - a combination college and sex talk. Mom said “Don’t do anything that will ruin your life.” Okay, so what she didn’t know, didn’t hurt her.

KATHY: Mom was a dear friend. She had a rare perspective. She knew people and read situations. Unlike my adorable husband and son, Mom could keep a secret. When you spoke to Mom, you knew that your thoughts and feelings would not appear on the front page of the NY Times or the 11 o’clock news. She was everyone’s confidante, including mine. Always present and involved with family and friends, we felt as though Mom was just around the corner, no matter where we were living.

Family vacations were important to Mom. Throughout our school years, while our friends were going to Florida, we were traveling across the country and to Hawaii, Mexico, London and Paris. Together, we went rafting on the Colorado River, watched a real pig being roasted at a luau, schlepped through every museum known to mankind in Paris and London and skied in Vermont each year. Jody wasn’t a fan of skiing or cold weather - but what was most important was that we were together. It was not so much where we went, but the indelible memories of the times we had together that was the glue that bonded our family ties.

JODY: As adults, we made more memories on our extended family vacations. Thinking about our years at Half Moon Bay Hotel in Jamaica where we’d spend a week during Thanksgiving or winter break, brings back memories of 15 of us living in a villa, the steel band we’d hire on Mom and Dad’s anniversary, the rose petal hearts on their bed, the kosher turkey Kenny had flown in from the States and sharing time in the pool, on the tennis courts and the golf course. This also was time with Ken that we wouldn’t have had if Mom hadn’t made those vacations happen.

KATHY: Mom also was the best grandma ever. She reveled in the time she spent with her grandchildren, always wanting to share new experiences with them. Mom established a different bond with every child and found a unique way to relate to each of their interests. Together, Mom and Dad were known as the Fun Couple. They took their grandchildren to Broadway shows, Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, and made museums and historical sites fun for them. Even last February, when she was in terrible pain, Mom made sure that she, Dad and I took Becca to visit the Japanese Gardens in Florida and eat lunch from a bento box. Jake, Sam, Rachel, Rob, Danny, Becca, and Haley, Grandma was a gift to you that you will cherish forever.

JODY: When we picture Mom, we don’t think about the last two years, but the lifetime she spent exercising with Jill, biking and cross country skiing and traveling with Dad. The debilitating illness that Mom suffered, she battled relentlessly, with unwavering strength and dignity. With Dad by her side every hour of every day, knowing, loving, patient and confident, Mom found the courage to continue to live life to the fullest, even as her ability to engage in the activities she enjoyed waned. I can never imagine a more true love than theirs.

On behalf of our entire family, we want to thank everyone who is here for their love and support through Mom’s illness. Your cards, calls, texts, emails and visits meant the world to our family. Mom’s caregivers from Metropolitan Jewish Hospice, Kirby, Rowina, Nora, Mona and Sophia you made her comfortable and helped her to live with dignity to the very end. She loved each and every one of you.

At our college graduations, then Cornell President, Frank Rhodes, recited a prayer that was among Mom’s favorites.. She asked us to read it for Ken when we so tragically lost him 8 years ago. Now our precious Mom, this is our blessing for you:

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

The rains fall soft upon your fields

And, until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Mom, in Judaism we believe in angels. Dad was yours, and you were ours. You have filled our lives with happiness and love and will remain forever in our hearts

May your memory be for a blessing.

Arrangements under the direction of Riverside-Nassau North Chapel, Great Neck, NY.