Mervlyn Keapo Kitashima

MOM, GRANDMA, MERV, AUNTY

1955—2023

Mervlyn Keapo (Swain) Kitashima was born to William Edwin Swain and Dora Keapo Kahaunaele Swain on April 3, 1955. She was as the ‘ōhi‘a lehua—emerged from lava, grown from a twisting, rugged trunk, a beautiful, bright blossom.

Merv was raised on the east side of Kaua‘i, on the Hawaiian Homelands of Anahola. She grew up in the home farthest to the right on the water tank road. She and her brothers and sisters were responsible for many of the household tasks, washing the clothing by hand and managing the long grasses on their acre lot. When they were not working, they enjoyed playing in the cow pastures, in the hau bush, in the muddy irrigation ditches catching tadpoles.

Merv and her family faced the darkness that accompanied a good father fighting the disease of alcoholism and a good mother trying to heal the broken pieces of her heart because of it. Merv often found herself crossing through the cane fields and the park to visit her grandmother, Elizabeth Kipola Kahaunaele. This gentle, little woman would put Merv in the outside tub, wash off the mud from her skin and scalp, put her in the inside tub, wash her more, then spend hours brushing through her tangles with a big yellow comb and whispering, “almost pau, almost pau.” Her grandmother would then have her stand up and she would run the comb from the top of her head to the very bottom of her hair. Merv said this would make her feel pretty; she would think “maybe someday, somebody might love me.”

Merv later became this same refuge to her own children, to her grandchildren, and to many, many other children she loved and served as Aunty. No matter the age of the child, young or old, she would love and serve them. She is described by many as an angel.

As a child, Merv attended Kapa’a Elementary School. She faced racism and cultural indifference during this time, being seen as a poor, dirty Hawaiian girl. Although she faced these struggles, an administrator at the school believed in her, seeing her not as a youth “at risk” but instead as a youth “at promise.”

When she completed the sixth grade, her father and mother decided to enroll her as a boarder at Kamehameha Schools Kapālama on O‘ahu. She endured homesickness for her beautiful Kaua‘i, but soon found comfort, safety, knowledge, and opportunity at Kamehameha. In high school, Merv was involved as a member of Concert Glee, student leadership, and the dorm residence activities council.

One day, when Merv was a freshman, a boy asked his friends to sit behind her on the bus and sing to her the song “Danny Boy.” She soon began dating the boy, Daniel Kitashima. They adored each other. In 1972, during her junior year, Merv became pregnant. Merv married Dan on January 29, 1972. Because pregnant students were not allowed at Kamehameha, Merv was to be expelled. However, an administrator at the school believed in her, seeing her as a youth “at promise,” and pushed, remarkably, for a change in policy. In 1973, Merv was the first mother to graduate from Kamehameha Schools. Since this time, she would feel indebted to Kamehameha and Pauahi, as the school blessed her life and the lives of her children and grandchildren.

Merv and Dan were sealed in the Lā’ie Hawai‘i Temple on January 31, 1973. Merv supported Dan in all things and Dan supported Merv in all things. In a little over a decade, they were mother and father to seven children. They raised their children in Pearl City. Merv was a vital supporter to her children’s sports teams and to the many teams coached by her husband. She also volunteered to serve as a Commissioner for AYSO and USAVB.

Merv always loved talking story. She loved Mary Poppins and Disneyland. She loved Christmas and Nativity scenes. Even as a grandmother, she answered to her childhood names “Fatso” and “The Bull of Anahola.”

Merv worked for the DOE as a PCNC parent facilitator for many years before working and becoming an administrator in the Parents & Alumni Relations Department at Kamehameha Schools, believing in children and always seeing their promise and potential. After receiving a degree from Leeward Community College, Merv graduated with an online Bachelor’s degree in Organizational Management from Ashford University in 2008 and a Master’s degree in Educational Leadership and Management from the University of Hawai‘i in 2014. She was given the Hawai‘i and National Mother of the Year Award in 2003.

Merv was a champion of children, teaching throughout her life, by word and act, that children need these things always: caring and supportive people and places, work and responsibility, meaningful experiences, a sense of purpose, a sense of hope. For more than twenty-five years, Merv traveled throughout the islands, across the nation, and to Canada as a highly successful motivational speaker on Resilience. She was dynamic and compelling, with a voice that commanded, taught, and nurtured all at once, a voice as strong and resilient as herself.

Merv believed in, loved, and followed God, giving much of her life and time to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She passed away in service as a senior missionary for the Church.

Merv suffered a stroke in the early morning of August 22. She took her last breaths, with her husband and family at her side, in the afternoon of September 6, 2023.

Merv, 68, is preceded in death by her parents and her sister, Leilani Cobb-Adams. She is survived by her husband, Daniel Kitashima; her children, Heidi (Edwin) Aceret, Heather “Kela” (Larry) Park, Shon (Suzanne) Kitashima, Summer Bloomfield, Jarom (Kelly) Kitashima, Kaui (Abby) Kitashima, Pili (Keoho) Kitashima; her 20 grandchildren, Keapo (Makoa) Gonsalves, Anna Chong, La’akea Aceret, Sarah Aceret, Kino Aceret, Trent (Mika) Park, Tyler (Jenna) Park, Tyler Iha, Uali‘i Bloomfield, Ikaika Bloomfield, Sanoe Bloomfield, Kainalu Kitashima, Kahiau Kitashima, Moehau Kitashima, Matuanui Kitashima, Matarangi Kitashima, Temananuiota‘aroa Kitashima, Kahiwa Kitashima, Kona Kitashima, Lawakua Kitashima; her 2 great-grandchildren, Hōano and Nowelo Gonsalves; her brothers, Captain Lani (Debbie) Swain, William “Billy” Swain, Phillip (Diane) Swain, Raymond (Lahea) Salazar; and her sisters, Enola Kawelo and Anna Marie (Ron) Velasco.

Please join Merv’s family at a Celebration of Life in her honor at the Honolulu Hawai‘i Stake Tabernacle, 1560 S Beretania Street Honolulu, Hawai‘i 96826, on September 29, 2023. A viewing and wala‘au from 2-5 PM will be followed by a program at 6 PM. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for donations to the Aunty Merv & Uncle Dan Kitashima Scholarship, a fund for mothers seeking further education.