Peace to Soothe You,
               Grace to Hold You,
                               Love to Comfort You.


Dear Jennifer, 

I cannot tell you how shocked and saddened I am to learn of Tom's passing. I last saw him in Jackson and will always remember waving goodbye to him in Atlanta airport after we both missed our next flights due to the plane coming in late from Jackson. He was wearing his usual jaunty baseball cap and his ever-present smile- the way I will always remember him.

You and Tom were the true definition of partners in every way. I so admired the way you worked together in perfect partnership, all the while keeping your love for each other, family and community strong. 

Your marriage is a true inspiration to me as Clark and I prepare to take that step. And to think, it all began with Tom stalking you! That is one of many humorous memories I'll always cherish of Tom (and you); the Jedi names, our discussions of fried turkeys and turduckens- and his subsequent phone greetings of “Gooble! Gooble!” and stories of Thor and Thunder, plus ancestor Peanut Butter Jones. May your rich and loving memories comfort you, and may you continue to feel Tom's presence and love for you, “J-bird”.
Praying for peace and comfort for you and the children. Please know you're in my heart, dear friend.

Sending hugs and love from St. Louis.

Dear Jennifer,

I am deeply shocked and saddened by Tom's passing and am all the more stricken by the incredible loss you are experiencing. You and Tom hold a place in the hearts of all those you have touched. There is a void there, but it is minute compare to the hole left in your heart. I wish there was something I could so or say to relief your pain, but this is an area where we hu7mans- especially this one- are woefully inadequate. I can only hope that all the good that you have done will return to you tenfold at this difficult time. Do know, however, that I am thinking of you, praying for you, and sending much love.

With deepest sympathy

Dear Jennifer, 

I was really saddened to hear of Tom's death late last week.

Tom will be missed by many, including me. As you know well, he was a remarkable man. Few men have that wonderful combination of being so capable but also so accepting, gentle and loving. I so appreciated his ability and willingness to bring others into the light and let them shine. I didn't get to work a lot with Tom, but when I did, it was a pleasure.

I cannot imagine your sense of loss- I sensed he was a very special life partner.

I would imagine that the days ahead will be filled with difficult moments. Though we don't know one another well, I consider you a friend and if I can help in anyway, please don't hesitate to call on me. My home is open to you if you ever feel the need for a place away from the flow and I'm only a phone call away.

Rev. Clifford E. Jones

I am so sorry to hear about Tom, he truly was a unique individual and very knowledgeable. He did the training for us (Greater Peace CDC) in Eufala, Alabama where we had to develop a project and demonstrate how we would establish it. Dr. Keenan Grenell and I put together plan for our Child Development Center, which we later got funding through the Federal Home Loan Bank-EDGE program for funding. And I also recall that he and Jennifer did the Strategic Plan for the AACDC in Birmingham at the Holiday Inn, if I am not mistaken. Please extend my sorrows to Jennifer and let her know I will be praying for her.

Hi Jennifer,

Last weekend I did something for me, I went on a three-day yoga retreat in Woodacre, CA. Sunday morning, I did morning meditation and pranayama but skipped our last two-hour practice. 

While everyone else attended class, I spent time in the garden gathering flowers: roses, lavender, rosemary, mint, purple and white wisteria, and building an altar at the fountain that was outside the window where I had slept at Spirit House. I gave thanks for having Tom in my life and for the lesson I had learned from him about transformation. See the attached photo of our altar. When I was done, one bird came after another to splash and bathe in the fountain like puppies rolling over on the lawn. Hummingbirds buzzed near. The birds mussed up all the flowers and saturated with water, they then flew away. 

Hope you are well.

I can't express how sorry I was to hear about Tom passing. I'm sure I didn't know him half as well as many, but, even in our small times together, both you and he have been a tremendous joy and inspiration to engage with over the last few years. I'm sitting now with tears in my eyes after reading the beautiful eulogy from Tom's son that did a wonderful job of encapsulating Tom's spirit. 

I can't express anything that I'm sure hasn't been said to you a thousand times by now...I just want to send my condolences and pay tribute to Tom. 

If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know.

To a life well lived...ashe'...

Much Love,

 I am so incredibly sorry for this loss.  When I saw this email, my jaw just dropped.  Tom was/is such a powerful and inspiring figure.  I am greatly saddened by this tragic loss and my heart and prayers go out to Jen and the rest of his family-
With my deepest, deepest sympathies-

We are gathered together to celebrate the life of Tom Bailey. He was a father, husband, brother, friend, priest, coach, and moral conscience. Tom Bailey was no mere man; he was a force of nature. He was God's servant who never avoided fighting for peace and justice. Being around Tom meant becoming infected with his vital force. Always forward leaning, there was no turning back. He was a natural leader who always brought his A game and forced you to respond accordingly. His fierceness was like a raging fire that reduced things to their most essential elements. 

Those willing to try and measure up to Tom's exacting demands and standards were stretched in the process and moved beyond their own limited vision. Tom was not a man you wanted to let down. Fortunately, he was like a librarian, always willing to loan you some of his confidence when you needed it most. I have to admit that I am still using his loaned confidence long past its due date.

I first met Tom and Jennifer 6 years ago in Chicago at an event for one of their clients. They struck me immediately as a dynamic duo—not a Batman and Robin thing, but a Batman squared arrangement. At that luncheon, the Spirit told me that my future was connected to theirs. It would take a few years to reveal itself, but I never stopped looking for the signs. When Jennifer came to Kalamazoo and asked me to serve at the King Center in Atlanta, I knew this was the sign. No was not an option.

My time at the King Center was one of the most difficult and most rewarding times of my life. Tom deserves a big part of the credit. Tom called on me to grow and stretch, to lean into my gifts and disregard my doubts. His sacrifices modeled true servant-leadership. The despair and frustration would melt away whenever I spoke with Tom. His revolutionary optimism would brighten my day, refocusing my attention on how to solve the particular problem of the moment. His daily presence will be sorely missed.

Tom Bailey is not dead! I will say it again: Tom Bailey is not dead! He has shed his earthy clothes and has become pure spirit. He returned to be with his God. Our maker called him home to continue his work in heaven. Maybe St. Peter was slipping and needed a towering presence to remind him what was what. Maybe Gabriel needed to be coached about blowing that horn in rhythm and tune. Whatever the reason for his new assignment, I am confident that Tom is still with us. His presence, energy, and example will continue to urge us forward and be better than we think we can be; dream bigger dreams than we did previously; and maintain our commitment to creating a better world. 

Ache Brother Tom!!!!!!!!!!!


During this last week, I have been grateful  at  how much Tom has been in my heart and mind.  In thinking about him, I realize how I have never understood how he always had such a strong presence that was also so very gentle, kind, caring, respectful and joyful.  He brought it all, all the time.

When Dr. King's statue was being unveiled in Washington I was with  Jennifer and Tom. (Who better to be with).  When I came down to the hotel lobby to meet with them, Tom quickly pointed out that I should immediately  go back to my room and change my clothes to something better. I loved Tom for doing this, the first besides my wife and mother.  He did it with a great smile and deep sense of kindness that never felt  critical.  

  Tom will be missed but never forgotten. I will think of you whenever I need to dress up. You will continue to make me smile. 

     With love,

A Tall, Dark, Handsome Man

I first learned about Tom Bailey from a description by Jennifer.  Even by second hand description, Tom assumed a larger-than-life mystique.  
I met Jen back in the early 90's while she was working at the Center for Community Change and I was working at National Rural Development and Finance Corp.  I heard about her relationship with Tom while meeting at the Ben and Jerry's ice cream shop (where else?) in Georgetown.  We were meeting with three or four members of the North Carolina rural posse - Abdul Rasheed, Irvin Henderson and someone else who I don't recall (perhaps Joyce Dickerson of Rocky Mount CDC?).  Jen was regaling us with several bodacious stories from her recent travels (one of which involved a minister who developed a strong interest in a bustier that Jen wore to a Sunday service!)  She was also telling us about this guy she was dating – someone from her past that had re-emerged in her life, and whom she claimed was:
• @ 6 foot 3” – and disarmingly handsome
• A scuba diver (?);
• Had served in the US foreign service community, and was handy with military-issue firearms (?!);
• Was teaching masters level classes and serving as an administrator at Johns Hopkins while he pursued his doctorate (!!??)
• Had several older children whom he was caring for (really?).
Was Jen kidding?  Are there any real people like that?  A mix of secret agent, international savoir-faire and soft-cuddly teddy-bear?  Was this guy a scammer?  Had Jen been watching too many Bond movies?  
I didn't meet Tom face-to-face until several years later at the Washington DC offices of Strategic Decisions on K Street.  At our first meeting, Tom was initially a bit intimidating to me.  He seemed to be handling a lot of details – and he was clearly very interested in ensuring that Jennifer had the support she needed to attend to the business.  It wasn't until 2008 -09 when I was seeking permission from Tom and Jennifer to publish their community development tools that I learned just how much of a contributor and partner Tom was to the practice.  During our 2 days of meetings at their home in Henderson, NV, it became clear that Tom and Jennifer are 2 hemispheres of a single brain.  Their partnership reflects a deep respect for each other's abilities and talents – and a shared lifelong quest to encourage people of color to remove social barriers and seek out opportunities to fully participate in American society.  
Tom and I finally got a chance to work together shoulder-to-shoulder in 2011 and 2012 with the New Orleans Capacity Building Project.  I've rarely participated in a more satisfying, professionally enriching and entertaining assignment than working with Tom.  Our time together allowed me to experience just how much people respected and loved Tom for his honesty, ability to cut to what is most important about an issue – and his mantra of taking action NOW to seize opportunity for the future.  
Whenever I hear Chuck Berry's “Brown-eyed Handsome Man” – I will remember Tom.  Just substitute the words “Tall Dark Handsome Man” for the chorus.   I will miss you, Tom.  You are loved.

My Tom

My friend; mentor; brother; confidant; teacher; sounding board; and in many ways, my HERO.
 His true heart was as big as his booming laughter.
His imagination and quest for possibility had the potential to spill     over the edges of the universe. 
 In his mind he was capable to everything….not in that egocentric 
 Self-promoting kind of way, but he really believed and made me
 Believe that he could figure out how to get ANYTHING done.  ANYTHING!!!
 The real beauty of all this bigness is that it was all in service to 
           others.
 Anyone who knew him for anytime knew that he really started
 Out to be a doctor; and not having his M.D., never stopped him
  Him from offering a medical ‘opinion'.
 Another passion was speaking in some ‘African' dialect for 
 Emphasis (I was never quite sure was authentic), but it sounded
 Good to me! I'm convinced it was like my 20 - 30 words of Spanish
 That I use to make folks think I'm quasi fluent.
There was a definite profundity about my larger than life brother/friend.  May the bravado of his spirit reverberate in the universe forever!!

I had met Tom before, but my real first impression of him came from when I was negotiating with him to contract him and Jennifer for some Strategic Planning work. We had a standard organizational contract that had all kinds of legal language - everything from a strict clause about trade secrets to the statement, "time is of the essence." Tom stated in no uncertain terms that he would not sign this contract. He asked that we strike multiple clauses and basically cut the contract in half. I told him I couldn't. This is our standard contract and I am not authorized to make changes. He told me to talk to who I needed to talk to about it, but he wasn't signing. I got off the phone wondering whether our work with him and Jennifer was going to move forward. We were definitely excited about bringing them in, but Tom seemed like a stone wall! We ultimately revised the contract after we decided internally that if Tom fights that hard for his organization, we want him fighting like that for us! And, in no uncertain terms, he did!
 
 
A board member and I would always get a chuckle out of the fact that Tom facilitated most of our strategic planning meetings with his blue tooth on his ear. Even if he didn't intend it, Tom had a way of helping provide levity and comedy even as we were having really difficult conversations and making difficult decisions about the future of the organization.

Hey Jen:

I searched for an appropriate and honest phrase to share for Tom's remembrance.  I finally concocted the following thought.  I wanted to try and put it into a frame and words that reflect how I view his time with us, as well as how those of us that had the blessing of his wisdom and support should remember him.  Though words rarely adequately reflect how much you appreciate someone you admired and respect in their passing, the following quote is a good summation of my feelings.  May God Bless you in your moment of loss and may the Angels watch over him and keep you safe. 

"Our brother Tom still lives in us and bids us to think of life, not death; of life to which in his time with us, he brought the passion and glory of spring.  As we reflect on his presence and friendship, let us let the great chorus of life and joy sing out amid the orchestra of known and unknown powers and the destinies of good and evil.  In his remembrance, our voices should sound continuously a note of hope and faith in each other, and an enduring will to fight for justice."

Dear Jennifer,
 
What a shock it was to read the mail from Jeff, where he informed us that your husband passed away. And how unexpected. Only a few moth ago he was the one who cared so well for Rob when Rob had his hard problems, and now he has fallen himself victim to heart failure. This is not fair. He was far too young and lively to step out of this life. Unfortunately life is not always fair, and now you have to deal with this sad situation. I wish I new how I could help you. Hopefully this letter does help you a bit, showing you that you have many friends that really care and are avail;able to support you whenever and wherever you might want to be helped. Please know that even at the other side of the ocean our thoughts are with you. Although I am not very religious, I do believe that those who left us , can still see from their pink cloud, what we do and support us on going. I hope you will start feeling that as well. I still have lovely conversations that way with my father and mother.
Please accept our deep condolences.
Wishing you all the strengths you need,

Such difficult news. I remember when you were falling in love and when you married. Such a kid you were... A teenager in love. May gods love surround you and give you peace in your sad time.

Dear Jennifer,
 
I was so very shocked to hear your news. I had no idea that Tom was ill and I'm so desperately sorry to hear that he passed away.
 
Losing my Dad has left a very large void in my life and in my heart. I cannot even begin to imagine what it must feel like to lose your husband. In fact words fail me.
 
I am thinking of you and offering my support and strength from over here.
 
With love
 
Helen

I cannot begin to grasp the events of the pass three weeks that led to Tom's passing into glory.  If this is a devastating loss to me I can't begin to understand how you are feeling.  My prayers are extended to you and Tom's children and all of the other family members. The experience of being with you and Tom at the photo session will always be etched in my mind as a permanent reminder of the enormity and greatness of Tom's smile and enjoyment of life.  Every time I had the opportunity to be with or share a telephone call with Tom it was always an important experience because it demonstrated the enormous level of patience and deliberation about complex issues that he considered before the deliverance of his wisdom based advice and summarized recommendations. I will always be thankful that life provided the opportunity for me to get to know and work with you and Tom and we were re-engaging in the "Work" prior to his death.  The Lord has blessed you and will keep you during the period of adjusting to the loss of your partner and love mate.  I will be present to support and love you.

Stories of Tom Bailey
My first recollection of Tom Bailey was at a community meeting, where prior that point, there was a skinny little guy who at previous community meetings, sold “wolf tickets,” preventing any efforts from going forward' until Tom Bailey's sheer presence coupled with the resonance of his voice, and an ‘I-ain't- gonna-take- no-mess- out- of- you' type attitude was brought to bear.
 
His presence also, very much reminded me of the spirit of the Zulu people who, before they were compromised completely, were tenacious warriors against the British —And the most famous of them was Shaka Zulu who was renowned as a military strategist, acknowledged even today, in West Point curriculum.   And though I may not have always agreed with, or even understood where Tom was coming from, from time to time;  the mystery was probably part of the “strategy” that made Tom, Tom… and oftentimes led us to a fresh and thoughtful perspective.          ---And sometimes not…   But at the end of it all, ‘You gotta love him!'

My memories 

I am so grateful to have spent time with Tom this past year.  I immediately was drawn to his presence-- his gentle, understated, respectful, but firm, demeanor.  The first time I notice this demeanor was when Jennifer and I had difficulty coming to decision on consultant to use for a project.  He listen to us patiently " run around the block" several times on our decision.  We found it to be some what entertaining. After listening to us, he looked us right in the eyes, told us we were two grown up professionals that needed to come to a yes or no decision...basically get on with it...We did make a decision soon after.  Now, he was also playful later when we decided to have the code word "umbrella " as way to complete our final vetting of our consultant when we all picked him up from the airport.  Yes, Tom drove us around the entire weekend.

There was something about Tom's voice...it was reassuring and kind.  He and I walked along the bridge to see the Hoover dam.  He was telling me the about the history and the usual facts about a site like this.  He knew that I was nervous about the height, so he gently guided our conversation to something about the water, reassuring me that I did not need to know the actual height.  I know I was crowding him as if I may have had to grab his arm to steady myself.  He didn't make light of it, he just kept the conversation going until we reached the steps.

I will miss hearing your voice and the kind affirmations you gave me when we spoke.

Love
"Your Jane"

Tom……my friend
 
To know Tom Bailey is indeed a delight …..AND he is bestest ever Bar-B-Q king AND he can smoke a turkey that would make you smack your momma…. In addition to keeping the Henderson-Bailey household kitchen full of wonderful smells and great food, he put away Jen's ‘for display purposes only' aura over the stove.
 
Tom is a person of conviction and conscience.  Always a wealth of information, he is a source of up-to-date information on what is happening nationally and globally.  As a fellow internationalist and activist Tom is the consummate debater and will keep you laughing and crying the entire time you are pissed off with him about some conspiracy theory.  The many international and domestic human, civil and economic rights efforts we share, including the struggles of the people ofSouthern Africa and Haiti as well as our collective work around Ghana is indeed memorable.  His ardent support and determination for social and economic justice is measurable and many movements owe him a great debt of gratitude.
 
In celebrating his life and spirit we are blessed to have him with us always.  I am proud to call him friend,…I am proud to call him buddy, and, of course, I am always glad that his dance ticket was never full….as he can cut a rug to beat the band!
 
Thank you Tom, for all you are and all you do to make this a better world.

Jabari, Imani and Nancy I was saddened to hear of the lost of your dad, and children's father. May your memories give you peace, and your faith bring you through this trying time.

My friend,brother, mentor....you came into my life at a time when it was still unclear if my life would EVER be the same again (post Katrina) and you and Jennifer helped me and my whole community be better.  I could not be who I am if not for you. Save me a seat in your section. ^_~

May his journey with Lord be wonderful cause there is so much termoil on this earth.  He will be missed by many--my condolescences to Nancy--Imani and Jabari--from James Frazier
Washington, DC

Tom will be remembered as my roommate in my 2nd &3rd year at A&T University.  We were like brothers at that time.  We lost contact after college, but I would say to his family, I very sorry for the loss.  Ex Roommate!
Harold Easter

Jennifer:  Thanks to Lynn Kanter for posting Tom's obituary otherwise I wouldn't have known.  My heart aches for you - I have been where you are, as you well know, and so will do anything you want to help you through this time.  I remember with fondness working with you and Tom, playing with you and Tom, but most of all, Tom's kindness in bringing Mary Grace a palm on Palm Sunday from St. Augustine's.  He alone knew how valuable that would be to her.  His goodness, his compassion and his sense of values will all be missed.  I love you...
Charlotte

Jennifer,
My thoughts are with you and your family in this terrible time. Know that I am holding you and Tom in my heart.

Jennifer, I was so sorry to hear of your loss. Tom was a very special person, and you two were a smart and loving team. My thoughts are with you at this time.

Dear Jennifer

Although I never met Tom, in reading his biography, his many accomplishments and his dedication to the community at large, I can tell he was a very special man and will be missed by many. My deepest condolences for your loss and know that I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Peace.

Arnold Carbone -Washoe Valley, NV

Jennifer and family,

My condolences are sent to you all for Tom was a special person in my life.  I send you my deepest sympathy.  Jennifer , may God give you peace at this time of need.

Stephina Walker ( Winston Salem, NC)

Jennifer, you and Tom have been so wonderful to me, Kent, and especially Christian. You both embraced us with the extraordinary depth of your love and insight. We are heartbroken. I know, though, that Tom's bright light continues to shine and that you will see him again. We love you both immensely.

At Arkansas Public Policy Panel, we are so thankful for Tom and Jennifer.  Whatever the situation, Tom has always added a word of encouragement, an incisive thought.

To Jennifer and family:
We are fortunate to have known and been befriended by Tom. We are thankful for what Tom gave us because his giving was genuine. Tom was a good man, an able and steady man. We regret his leaving us. He will be sorely missed by everyone—missed certainly for his
inquisitive mind, caring heart, and willingness to help those who work for justice and freedom from oppression.

Jennifer —-
In these days of rain, know that we are with you; know that he gave the best of himself; fully know that he was a leader, a radical, a teacher, and a student. Know, most of all, that he was loved and that you are loved.
Peace --


The Richardson/Foreman family sends prayers of comfort and peace to Jennifer and the Bailey family. Tom blessed us with his powerful intellect, commitment to social justice, and his wisdom and joy. He touched and inspired people in communities across America, Africa and the globe to claim their power and to make a difference. God bless the soul of this man, who was one of our very best. Amen.

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Thomas L. Bailey

2 juin 1946 – 5 avril 2013

Palm Eastern Mortuary & Cemetery

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