Vicki L Gray

It is with great sadness that the family of announce the passing of Vicki L. Gray, resident of Mesa, AZ, formerly of Springfield, MO, on June 27, 2019. She was born and raised in Springfield, MO, by Laverne L. and B. Vista [Jones] Weaver. Vicki will be fondly remembered and missed by all who her her. Vicki is survived by her beloved husband, Charles Cowan; nephew, James Kelly Blore; step children, Debra Cowan, Wayne Cowan, Wendy Cowan and Michael Spiwak. She was preceded in death by her father, LL Weaver, mother, Vista Weaver and her sister, Dee Ann Blore. Memorials may be made in Vicki’s name to the Parkinson’s Disease Foundation at https://www.parkinson.org/

A death has occurred and everything is changed by the event.

We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again,

That yesterday is over,

That relationships once rich have ended.

But there is another way to look upon this truth.

If life went on the same without the presence of the one who has died,

We could only conclude that the life we remember made no contribution,

Filled no space, meant nothing.

The fact that Vicki left behind a place that cannot be filled is a high tribute to her.

Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost,

But never after the loss of a treasure.

Welcome. My name is Caleb Klein and I’m honored to be the Life Celebrant as we gather to remember Vicki L. Gray and her amazing full life. We are here as support and compassionate partners in grief for her beloved husband and partner over the last 40 years, Charles Cowan; nephew, Kelly; and her step-children, Debra, Wayne, Wendy, and Michael. It is an important day when we stop to acknowledge the importance of a life and the ways she touched her world. We are here to give thanks for the long, full life of this wonderful woman who shared and unbreakable bond with Charles and a genuine care for each day of her life. We are here to acknowledge that Vicki made a difference in your life during her journey here on earth; whether that was directly or through her family. Before we begin, let us focus on word of prayer.

Dear Father of Broken Hearts – We come together today to shed tears, share smiles, and to hold hearts and hands in a circle of love and support for the family of Vicki. She loved the people in your world and was one of your special ones. Touch the souls here with your spirit and help them find comfort in the embrace of memories of their beloved wife, aunt, step-mother, and friend for today and the coming days. Amen

We meet here under this unblinking sun to place the remains of Vicki above this hallowed ground and to dedicate this space to every beautiful and precious memory associated with her. It is an age old ritual we perform here, yet a singular experience, for Vicki meant so much to us who have gathered here. We join the universality of death with the uniqueness of human life in this simple ceremony of farewell.

Life is a procession, one comes and another goes. There must come a time for parting, for the stream of life continually empties into the sunset sea of life eternal.

Vicki entered this world on January 21, 1948 in Springfield, MO. She joined her sister, Dee Ann, as the two daughters of LL Weaver and Vista Weaver. Vicki grew up in Springfield, and attended South West Missouri State University. After receiving her degree, she moved to Miami via a small stay in Houston. Once in Miami, her life changed when she applied for a job at General Development Corporation. Vicki began working in the accounting department, and caught the eye of Charles Cowan. He couldn’t help but notice how classy she was and wanted to get to know her. After a few months of small talk, he asked her out on a date. They hit it off and their relationship began to blossom. They enjoy going for walks and especially loved spending time at Miami Beach together. After Charles knew that Vicki was a woman he wanted to spend the remainder of his life with, he asked her to marry him. Little did he know that she would turn him down. It didn’t change their relationship, but she just didn’t want to get married. They continued their companionship until years later, when Vicki decided she did want to get married. She took the opportunity to propose to Charles, only for him to say no. After spending years together, they just felt it wasn’t necessary for them to be happy and devoted to each other. They did eventually get married about three years ago. They felt since they weren’t getting any younger that it was time to make everything official. The couple moved here two years ago and spent as much time together as they could. Charles considers himself lucky to have shared so much quality time with such a wonderful and endearing woman. She taught him how to be self-sufficient and he will miss the gentle spirit within her. She was welcoming of Charles’ family and developed her own relationship with them over the years. She was also affectionate toward Charles’ children’s aunts and great-auntVicki said her goodbyes to her family when she transitioned from this life on June 27th. Although it feels like the world is collapsing in on us when we face the loss of somebody so near, we must realize that grief is also a gift. Yes, it’s one that we would all like to return if we could. But if we’re willing to open this gift when our loved ones pass away, we’ll discover that it contains blessings in disguise.

Grief is a gift because it can motivate us to use our time well by reminding us that our time here is limited. We know we will see Vicki again, but there are many things we would like to accomplish before we say our farewells. Grief also helps us value other people more as we miss the people we’ve loved who have died. Family feels more valuable after a loss, and friends share experiences that can only bring them closer.

They say that time heals all wounds, but we really shouldn’t try to get over it like some might suggest. By viewing grief as a gift and opening it more every day, we’ll encounter those aforementioned unexpected blessings.

And so we come to this sacred place where she will one day be joined again with her husband, Charles. This is now Vicki’s earth home, the place where we can come to share tears, stories, memories, or just to sit quietly and listen for her voice in the wind. The legacy that she leaves behind is one of determination, self-reliance, and companionship. The journey of grief is long and no one should have to walk it alone. Vicki would wish for each of you, especially you, Charles, to find the peace and comfort you need in the days to come by reaching out to others and bringing them under your roof of sadness and loss so they can help you find the sunshine once again. As we leave this place today, we leave in thanksgiving, not regret, for Vicki’s life was full while she was among us. That Vicki has lived, what she has experienced can never be taken from her or from us. For this we are grateful.

Let us close with a blessing:

May you remember the fullness of Vicki’s life and the impact she made on her world. May you hug each other a little longer and have the courage to accept love offered. May you be blessed in your daily walk as your tears turn into memories that will glow in the light of time and understanding. And may you find gratitude for a life story that was always unique, full of interest and contradictions, and love. Be kind to each other and walk softly on the earth, be grateful for the roof over your head, and in everything you do, do it in Vicki’s memory and go in peace. And now we say, Welcome Home, Vicki. Amen