John Gardner

On February 23, 2014 John fell from the bed to the floor while attempting to get into his wheelchair. It was a routine procedure he had done hundreds of times. For some reason the brakes were not locked in properly and down he went. In spite of my best and most careful efforts to help John get up from the floor and back into his wheelchair when we heard the ominous sound of a bone breaking just above his left knee we knew we were out of our depth and paramedics were called in to assist.

That leg fracture which could not heal, eventually led to the amputation of John’s left leg at the fracture site just above the knee in November of 2014. That put an end to John’s dream of one day be able to walk again with braces and crutches as he had been so good at doing in his younger days. (We still have John’s braces and crutches in our garage at home.) We installed ceiling lifts and bought slings to help John transfer into and out of bed and into and out of a large, jetted soaker tub which we had installed especially for him. John did everything within his power to not let this slow him down at all. He kept up with writing brilliant commentary for the legal texts John and I have worked on for decades always getting everything in on time or even ahead of schedule.

In 2015, although he grieved with the rest of our family over the death of my father, John was able to enjoy many wonderful activities. He and I got to the Mission Folk Music Festival, an annual tradition for our family since the kids were small. He especially enjoyed listening to Sylvia Tyson who was one of the headliners for the Festival. We both got to Bellingham for the Marrowstone Music Festival, something we had never done before. The festival included 8 concerts over a 2 week period. John loved every moment of it. It was the first time in a long time that John and I travelled anywhere together. We were worried that he would have difficulty getting into and out of bed at the hotel without the help of a lift like we have at home but he managed just fine. This alone buoyed his spirits up and I think John believed he would live to be 80 at that time. Last November we made an evening trip to Bellingham to the beautiful Mt. Baker Theatre where we saw Joan Baez in concert. We had enjoyed her music since we were teenagers and we were not disappointed. Her voice is still beautiful and she is every bit the warm and genuine person that we expected her to be. Also last fall John and I, along with Pavel and his good friend Connor, got to see Cirque de Soleil in Vancouver. Our seats were excellent and John, as well as the rest of us, were absolutely enthralled.

In late January of 2016 John and I saw the Shen Yun Acrobat Show at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre which he absolutely loved. On another day near the end of January, John was happy to go car shopping with Lisa to help her select a new car to replace her wrecked one. Early in January we almost lost our daughter, Lisa, who, when driving home from work in Abbotsford was t-boned by someone who inexplicably made a left hand turn into her car, totaling it. When I went with Lisa to the wreckers to retrieve personal items from her car I could not believe that she had walked away from that accident without a scratch. John and I were much relieved that Lisa was okay so the car shopping with Lisa in late January was a real celebration for the whole family.

In February John played the piano for two singing practices at our home with Anthony Hutchcroft which he loved. Tony’s amazing voice was a great match for John’s excellent piano playing. It was wonderful to hear such amazing sounds coming upstairs from our basement music room. In February, John and I also got to a bible conference at Valley Christian School where our children went to school for grades 6, 7 and 8, and on the last day of February we adopted our dog, Zeena. Our former dog, Teako, had died shortly after John’s leg fracture in 2014 so it was delightful for John to have a dog once more, especially a gentle dog like Zeena.

In March John and I saw the musical “Guys and Dolls” in Abbotsford which he loved. John also performed with friends for St. Patrick’s Day celebrations at the Mission Legion and at Carrington House, and our entire family enjoyed a curry lunch at the Rabab Restaurant. However, I can remember at that lunch that for the first time ever John found the curried dishes difficult to eat so a lot of food was left behind. This was perhaps a hint, although we didn’t fully pick up on it, that all was not well with John. On March 23rd John and I got to a Purim celebration in Abbotsford where John got to read, if I’m remembering correctly, some of the story about Queen Esther in the Bible.

In April John and I got to two Passover celebrations. The one we went to with Pavel was a very large, fairly formal affair and John loved every minute of it. The other Passover celebration was at a friend’s home in Abbotsford, very small and intimate which John also liked very much. I recall though that suddenly John was very tired and told me in a soft, urgent voice that we needed to leave for home immediately. For John who had always been the life of the party this did set off an internal alarm bell inside of me. In April John and I also enjoyed a fish and chips lunch with friends although I could tell at that lunch that John, in spite of his attempts to regale everyone with a few of his jokes, he was tired and somewhat more rambling in his thoughts than usual. On April 29th, a very determined John – who despite me urging him for months to postpone our cruise until he was feeling more energetic – set off with me on the Vancouver to Hawaii and back adventure.

John did enjoy some wonderful food and entertainments on our cruise, as well as some land excursions in Hawaii, but much of it was difficult for John as he was tired and his physical strength was declining. John had to retire very early many evenings so we spent a lot of quiet nights in our stateroom while everyone else on board was “tripping the light fantastic” as the old saying goes. After 2 of a total of 3 visits to the ship’s medical centre while on board the ship, John was placed under a 24 hour quarantine in our stateroom. He disobeyed the first quarantine but he complied with the second one, grateful just to be able to lie down.

John’s life since the fracture resulted in more and more medical appointments with various specialists but in spite of all of this he kept up with his work, his music, and with enjoying his life as much as he possibly could. This included regular music practices with “his singers”: Rose, Henry, Barb and Shirley. He also enjoyed his weekly coffees with Ron Gray. He always came home from those coffee chats highly energized as he found their conversations very stimulating . John’s work life for many years had been quite solitary in our basement study with only me for companionship and I know he missed the lively camaraderie that he had shared with his colleagues at Canada Immigration. His coffee visits with Ron were a great way to fill up that loneliness.

Two days after our return from the cruise to Hawaii John was hospitalized. We kept hoping against hope that John would be able to return home but this was not to be the case and after nearly 16 weeks in hospital John died with Lisa, Pavel and me holding him and speaking to him but he was unable to reply. On John’s last day he had some visitors. Kathy Yewell arrived at Noon and then Henry and Barbara around 2:30 p.m. They let John know how much he was appreciated by them and how deeply John had inspired them. Seconds before John passed away at 4:30 p.m. family friend Rose appeared at the bedside looking like the angel that she is. After months of struggle, in the end John passed peacefully his last breath just a gentle whisper.

John did many wonderful things for me during our relationship which began when we met in 1977. I think the nicest thing John did for me was, through his various connections at Canada Immigration he was able to smooth the way for Pavel’s and Lisa’s adoption. I think more than ninety percent of the work for the adoption was done by Dave Rempel and his wife, Sharon Kincaid, but John also did a lot of work which was beyond my capabilities and for that I will always be grateful. John would want me to say a public thank you to Dave Rempel and Sharon Kincaid for all of the countless hours they put into facilitating the adoption of Pavel and Lisa. Dave and Sharon: you made the last 20 years of John’s life spectacular years. Our family is forever in your debt. I will miss so many things about John but most of all I will missing being hugged by his big tree-trunk arms. I will miss how he could make me laugh like nobody else could. A laugh from way down in the diaphragm not a laugh from the throat. I will miss hearing him calling me the various pet names he had for me. I will miss having one man who loves me and thinks I’m pretty no matter whether I’m dressed up or shubbling around in sloppy jeans with a bad hairday going on.

John loved so many things in life. He loved writing both fiction and non-fiction. He loved the Bible, languages, music, literature, art, stimulating and meaningful conversation, and foods that were pickled or spicy. He loved a good party and he loved to tell jokes many of them involving an Irishman and a bar, often with a priest and a rabbi thrown in for fun. What John loved most of all though was his children.

Pavel and Lisa: I promise you before all of these people gathered here to honour your father, that I will do my utmost throughout the rest of my life to keep your father alive for you. I want you to speak about your Dad whenever, wherever, and however you want to. We will take time individually and together to do some things we know Dad would have liked and in that way he will be included in our activities. We must continue to share Dad stories with one another and we must remember Dad’s points of view when you face difficult decisions in life so that he can be included in these decisions. Your Dad may be gone physically but I know his powerful personality will be with us always wherever we go and in whatever we do. Thank you all for coming today. Every one of you helped to give John a full life and a happy one. Thank you for that.

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John was born in Estevan, Saskatchewan to the late Jack and Gladys Gardner on October 18, 1950 and he passed away peacefully in hospital in Mission, B.C. on September 3, 2016 with family at his side. John graduated with honors from Menlo School in Atherton, California in 1967; Grinnell College in Grinnell, Iowa in 1971 and from U.B.C. Law School, Vancouver, B.C. in 1981. He was called to the B.C. Bar in 1982. John’s memory will be forever cherished by his wife Karen, son Pavel of Mission, B.C., and daughter Lisa (Jaye Greenlaw) of Kelowna, B.C., as well as by extended family in B.C., Saskatchewan and Oklahoma, and friends and colleagues everywhere. John was a wonderful son, husband, father, uncle and friend. He was a brilliant but a modest man who loved God, family and friends in that order. He was a voracious reader, gifted in languages and a talented musician and songwriter. John was highly respected within the law and immigration communities of Greater Vancouver and admired for his brilliant legal commentary published by Thomson-Reuters in Toronto and read by law students, lawyers and judges from coast to coast in Canada. John made a huge contribution with his acting and musical talents for many years with Opening Night Theatre in Mission, as well as playing piano in local coffee houses, retirement homes etc. The world is a lesser place because of the loss of this amazing man. He expected so little; he gave so much.

A memorial service will be held for John on September 23rd at 1:00 p.m. at Cedar Valley Mennonite Church, 32860 Cherry Ave., Mission. There will be an opportunity for those who wish to share a memory about John to speak at the service.

Please feel free to make a donation for spinal cord injury research in John’s name to the Rick Hansen Institute, #6400 – 818 W. 10 Ave., Vancouver, B.C. V5Z 1M9 if you wish to do so.