Vern Malak

1930 - 2011

Peacefully, on February 25, 2011, Vern passed away at East Gate Personal Care Home in Beausejour, Manitoba. He was predeceased by his loving wife of 50 years, Irene, in 2002 and also by his parents Vernon and Stella Malak. Vern is survived by his four children Anna (Todd), Rob (Karen), Brian (Therese) and Larry (Deanna). He also leaves to mourn seven grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. Vern was a proud man who, after retiring from 40 years of service with Bristol Aerospace, enjoyed the simple things in life. He loved to garden, to fish, and best of all, to dance at many old-time dances. Rest now dad, we hope you and Mom can finally catch that big Walleye together. The family wishes to send thanks to Dad's special friend Jean for all of her love and support, the staff on the Rose Unit at East Gate and Dr. N. Van Rensburg for all of his care. A celebration of Dad's life will be held at Green Acres Cemetery on Hwy. No. 1 East on Saturday, March 5 at 2:00 p.m., lunch and interment to follow. Condolences may be sent to: www.greenacresfuneralhome.com In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the Alzheimer's Society.

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Message by Reverend Don McIntyre

There were long months in the last couple of years when Vern, you described as “once being physically big, with a big smile and bone crushing handshake” was fading away to a person who didn’t know you. You commented on how difficult it was as his children to watch your Dad become infantile, worried, feeling helpless in losing his independence. It was a long good-bye for a person you also described as ‘being very proud.’

Over the years he wasn’t afraid to reveal his passions or emotions with tears of joy or sadness. After long months of patient love and support his suffering and your constant worry is finally over. Now, it is your turn to let out your feelings of sorrow and tears of joy for your faithfulness to each other that has spanned good times and trying ones as well. Now we know love does grow deeper when it is tested. And, as hard as it was to release him into the care of the Rose Unit at East Gate there were times of relief, perhaps comic relief, even renewed optimism for a moments clarity as when Vern remarked, “All these people here are nuts.’ Although he couldn’t recall your name he understood “you were a visitor who comes all the time.” With or without that thread of recognition you persevered. It’s been a long year but not so long as to make you forget the good times. Today, we gather to be reminded we will never forget the person who was our father and grandfather, great grandfather, brother, uncle and good friend who will always remain ‘larger than life’ in the pride you will always had for him. This is all you needed to sustain you in your visits the last year. It’s really all we need to be reminded today.

In time we will discover even the most painful moments will find their balance with fond memories. The poet wrote, “Lord, if like a flower torn petal by petal my heart must continue to tear, let there be fragrance.” A family is held together by the fragrance of a love that isn’t easy to define except it has depth beyond what we as individuals are able to create. Love may be simple but life is complicated. We learn from family life how to give love that is “patient and kind and never ends.”

Vern Malak was born January 22, 1930 in Darlingford, raised in the Morden area. The Great Depression years were a challenge for many families and his childhood wasn’t easy. He spoke several languages that included Polish, Ukrainian, High German, and his native Checkoslovakian and English. He left school as soon as he was old enough to find work driving truck. He came to Winnipeg in 1952 and found employment as a sheet metal worker for the Macdonald Brothers in the aircraft industry. When they were bought out by Bristol Aerospace his services were valued. Vern worked for forty years with this company before retiring in 1992. His ability to speak a variety of languages was prized as he assisted many immigrants in their integration into the plants workforce.

In his first years in Winnipeg Vern attended a dance where he struck up a friendship with a girl who had moved to the city from Neepawa. Irene and Vern were married in 1951, a union that would continue fifty years before her passing in 2002.

In the fifties they lived on Mountain Ave before moving to Brooklands. Their children still recall a home they grew up in on Morgan Crescent in the Crestview area. You remembered how your father enjoyed the simple things in life like gardening, fishing and dancing. That’s not to say gardening was easy for there were 300 foot rows to be seeded and weeded by the children and when ripe hours spent picking and shucking peas and digging potatoes. This was one way he instilled in Anna, Rob, Brian and Larry a hard work ethic. He also encouraged a strong identity as a family that could disagree but care for each other. As the oldest sibling he made every effort to maintain connections with his two brothers and three sisters. Christmases were regularly celebrated at Aunty Joyce and Uncle Walter’s and eating twelve meatless dishes was a customary salute to your family roots. You also recalled a time or two when he would sing in Ukrainian. Many Sunday dinners were held at Vern’s mothers or Bubba’s with the younger ones looking forward to watching Ed Sullivan after supper was over. In your home you soon learned there was to be no disturbances to distract viewing hockey games. You would fondly mock your Dad who watched the game but for some reason listened to the radio broadcast.

You recalled trips your family made to British Columbia where long hours were passed picking cherries your mom would preserve when you returned home. As times improved a trailer parked by Windego lake and the Lee River was a place for the family to retreat to. As children left home it seemed your parent’s exercised their freedom by moving year by year to a more suitable cottage site and then to homes in Lac du Bonnet, Gimli and because they missed their friends back to Beausejour. Retirement years were measured by so many friendships, belonging to organizations as the Fifties Club, peeling potatoes and making perogies for gatherings and preparations for another dance. Vern and Irene were members of a snowmobiling club called the Lee River Riders with their own sleds to enjoy winter days.

When Irene passed away in 2002 in time his loneliness was eased not only with your visits but the friendship of a long-time acquaintance in the person of Jean. You remained faithful these last years when he needed all the love and support you could offer. It must have been difficult seeing Vern slowly fade away from you but you had the good times from the past to balance the last months. He deserved your compassion.

As children we expect a lot of our parents, even demand a lot from them. We are free to choose how we will remain connected. We have an appreciation for the ways our parents shaped our values. We learn to appreciate the simple values like ‘hard work’ and family loyalty. The most strained times are eased with laughter. As we prepared for this service there really was a lot of laughter and smiles. It is ironic that the one who loved to laugh should have such a difficult time in his last days but perhaps his identity was still shining bright in your smiles.

Rabbi Harold Kushner has written, “We learn to cherish ever moment. All experiences have the potential to nourish the soul. Even times when we cannot see beauty, this does not suggest beauty isn’t there. Sometimes we need a broad perspective to see the beauty.” The worst fear is not suffering. The worse fear is not death. It is wondering if death will have the last word. Today, we gather to celebrate how love triumphs even over death. “It’s amazing how time can brighten the colours of happy memories while fading the tones of sad ones. Nostalgia becomes a way of removing the bumps and potholes from the road. When you look back you want to see the journey as a meaningful, pleasant one. This does not mean that you are not aware of the obstacles and disappointments. Instead you focus on the destination you reach and try to see value in it.” Today, may you be able to be thankful for all Vern has left behind that will forever remain in your hearts and minds.