Joan Silbermann

Joan was the sweetest, most loyal, honest, honorable, loving and beautiful human being I have ever known: A devoted wife, mother, grandmother, daughter and friend. She was the angel on my shoulder…always looking out for me and for those she cherished and loved.

She did not have a mean bone in her body but she was no pushover either as she was fiercely protective of her loved ones. She was endlessly patient, understanding, giving and kind to everyone.

Joan stood by me through highs and lows…but she never lost faith in me nor did she let me lose faith in myself…as she was my biggest cheerleader.

When we moved to Los Angeles, not an easy move for all of us as Joan had to leave behind her teaching career and forged a whole new life with me and Chris.

In Los Angeles Joan’s life changed significantly. She devoted her life and her time to maintaining an equilibrium for Chris as this was a whole new world for him too. But she weathered any and all challenges in an effort to provide normalcy in our household while striving to establish a footing in this strange new world.

The most important truth about Joan is she was selfless: There isn’t anything she wouldn’t have done for her family or a friend.

She was a silent gladiator and too many times pulled me out of despair and kept me going through lots of highs and some lows too. And no one knew it except us. Loyal and loving and smart as a whip…and never looking for accolades or even credit for her kind and loving deeds day after day, year after year, decade after decade.

Joan was absolutely mad about her three incredible grandchildren: Josh - now studying at UT Austin, Maddy - now studying at St. Andrews, Scotland, and Burke - a Senior and exploring colleges at Brentwood School, Los Angeles. We’d spent many early years with the kid in Los Angeles and at Julia and Chris’ home, and the pictures tell it all. A houseful of joy…filled with the love and laughter of 3 amazing youngsters - and the light of their grandma’s (and grandpa’s) life.

Joan came from a small family but that small family – Vi was her incredible Mom and Sid, her amazing Dad – was filled, from wall to wall, with endless love, kindness, generosity and great food. Vi treasured her Chris and gave him so much, including the gift of quiet time reading. I often came home to Vi and Chris siting on the couch and each buried in their own books and 100% thoroughly content. That was a life-long gift! And she was also loved

her extended family on the Silbermann side - her brother and sister-in-law Jon & Faye’s daughter Rachael, her husband Tom and their two children Mae & Zoe. She also fully embraced their entire Kaplan & Silbermann clans….and was an integral part of all things “family”. She was kind and filled with love and expressed her concern for each and every family member: Grandma and Great-Grandma, Marilyn, Guy, Josh & Amelia, Isaac & Sidney Albert & Frank and Marthe Gold-Silagy and Katie and Bill Bolton. And then there is the gigantic Kaplan clan including the 4 sisters - Rose, Nancy, Lily & May, my Mom; and their husbands, Albert, Sam, Sidney and Harold, and their fabulous off-spring: Joan and Lucille; Teddy & Rita; David and Tovah & my wonderful brother Jonathan. Add to that, the children of the children - including Dickie, Lawrence, Lisa, Peter & Wendy; Hannah, Noah & Zach; Laura & Alan and Amanda & Joel. Family affairs were always a gathering of loving hearts and minds, folks who travelled from the four corners of the globe to be together of huge gatherings and always joyous occasions. And for many years we together were there for my beloved Godmother, Aunt Lil, who was a force in my life and my growing up, but also someone who loved Joan as if she were blood. We both lovingly gave Aunt Lil all we had, and we hope it contributed to her life for many, many years. She was like a second mother & mother-in-law to me and Joan and she knew that. And that was Joan – giving of herself endlessly.

Joan grew up in The Bronx about a half mile from our family compound and had an extremely happy childhood. It’s where she and I met, and we nurtured our partnership in our respective Sunday Schools (Joan attended Central Synagogue & I was at Stephen Wise Free Synagogue.) Joan’s home was conservative to reformed, and filled with Jewish joy and culture and food and drink and laughter and love; lots and lots of love and great eats. Her Dad was more Orthodox in those days and Joan often found herself at the only youngster in the shul he attended in the Bronx, Yankee-Stadium adjacent – and it was filled with awe and wonder for her. She had the most amazing parents - Vi and Sid, who were also embraced by our very large and continuously growing Kaplan-Silbermann family.

Joan attended Walton High School – or as she preferred to call it “Miss Heffernan’s Seminary on the Hudson” where she was a star on their swimming team and then attended the University of Miami, graduating with a Bachelors in Education. She took her degree and began working in the early days of Project Head Start in the South Bronx. She loved her little students and they loved her, as did their parents. It was no wonder!

Joan was an avid campers and camp counselor at Camps Oxford and Guilford in Guilford, NY. She treasured those summers. She loved camp

and not by coincidence, her Dad owned a summer camp and that’s where Vi and Sid met and fell in love.

She was confirmed at Central Synagogue where she sang in the choir. I was just enjoying our time at Stephen Wise where I was in Sunday School and where Joan made it a second religious home.

We loved our synagogue, loved that our parents were also members, and loved that while Chris was prepared for his Bar Mitzvah at Wilshire Blvd. Temple in Los Angeles, he was Bar Mitzvah in NY at Stephen Wise.

Joan and I were madly in love with one another, and while we differed on some issues, on the important ones, we were likeminded. And we never stopped doing for one another or caring for one another. We weathered it all and treasured what we shared together.

Recently Joan was struggling with some respiratory issues and that worried me constantly. We had other, smaller medical events occur recently too…and I began getting very concerned about building her up and restoring her health. I worried about her terribly, and worried too if I were to pass before she did, I’d be leaving her in a real mess. She was so intimidated by technology and I worried that if I weren’t here, she’d be lost on even the basics. So my sweet Joan doesn’t have to worry about all of those things and she can enjoy a calm, peaceful transition to a much better place…and be reunited with her wonderful, loved ones who, with outstretched arms, will welcome her “home”.

She was the love of my life and I shall miss her forever. And Chris, Josh, Maddy, Burke and Julia were the purest joys and loves of her very beautiful, cherished life. Yes, her family and our friends were absolutely everything to her and she will be sorely missed by so many.