Harry Stickney Riley

On Monday, November 26th, 2018, Dr. Harry Stickney Riley retired from a lifetime of service to family, friends, students and patients. To say he will be missed is an understatement, yet fitting for someone who was as humble as he was accomplished.

Harry was born in Brooklyn in 1921, a world apart from the life he built for himself and others. His time with his mother was short as she died in an era when childbirth was nothing short of heroic.

His childhood wasn’t an easy one. But, Harry was smart, stoic, and adaptable, and was accepted into the United States Merchant Marine Academy at Kingspoint, NY. After graduating, he married his wife of 49 years, Pauline Berwind. He began his military career aboard Merchant ships in the European theatre of WWII, later joining the United States Navy. Like many of his peers, he spent his youth serving his country and exploring faraway places he might never have seen otherwise.

After the war, he studied chemistry at the College of William and Mary, ultimately earning a degree in dental medicine at the University of Pennsylvania. His education was extensive and complex, but his ambitions were simple: He wanted to help people. Though he fought again, in Korea, it was in peacetime that he began his life’s work in earnest. He and Pauline had a daughter, Pamela, and the young family settled in Virginia Beach, where Harry took up practice with an office which came to bear not just his name, but a legacy of skillful, humane care.

At the spry age of 53, he satisfied a lifelong curiosity and learned Tang Soo Do Karate. His attainment of Black belt status was especially remarkable because he almost exclusively used his legs and feet in combat. He could famously break wood and concrete, but never used his hands, in order to preserve the vital tools he used as a dentist, as well as an amateur model ship-builder. Though he became a minor master of his martial art, he approached it with a beginner’s mind, and inspired practitioners a fraction of his age with his clarity of intent.

Sadly, Harry lost Pauline to cancer in 1994. He and daughter, Pamela, worked as a team to support Pauline and each other through the process of dying, then grieving. He also sought solace in charitable work. While others might have taken time for self-care, Harry took time to care for others, volunteering at dental clinics in Mississippi and serving patients in need of life-altering intervention.

Life as a widower was dark, and lonely. With time, however, came new friendships, and the sweet flush of second love bloomed between Harry and Jane Homan, herself a widow. They would eventually affirm their commitment to sharing life’s autumn together.

In 1995, Harry stepped down from dentistry, with plans to relax, travel, and spend quality time with family. He made an ancestral pilgrimage to Ireland with Pamela and his son-in-law, Gordon, and grandson Dylan. He and Jane also enjoyed countless adventures along the east coast of the US, and jointly volunteered aboard the decommissioned USS Wisconsin, in Norfolk. But unlike ancient battleships, ancient mariners like Harry can’t be decommissioned quite so easily. His “retirement” proved little more than an abstraction. Harry continued to provide dental care for a number of years at his former practice. When he was no longer comfortable working as a clinician, he lent his considerable experience to students at local colleges and technical schools. He avidly read biographies of historical leaders and scientists, and strove to maintain his knowledge of ongoing developments in the field of medicine. He swam and cycled and vigorously walked through the beginning of his ninth decade, and when he could no longer walk independently, he stubbornly resisted the use of a cane or walker. Even the gift of an authentic Irish shillelagh couldn’t tempt him to sacrifice the freedom of standing on his own two feet. Quiet dignity was a habit of 97 years, and to the end, remained unbroken.

Harry Riley spent his final days in the loving care of his family, and passed peacefully in his sleep. He joined the company of Pauline, his late wife, and Waldemar, his brother.

He is survived by wife, Jane Homan Riley; daughter Pamela Riley; son-in-law Gordon MacArthur; grandson Dylan Riley MacArthur; step daughter, Celes Price; son-in-law, Gary Price; nephews Mark Riley and Kevin Riley.

Harry’s visitation will be held Friday, November 30 from 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm at Woodlawn Funeral Home at 6329 East Virginia Beach Blvd, Norfolk Virginia. His funeral Service will be held Saturday, December 1 at 11:00 am at Saint Timothy Lutheran Church - 1051 Kempsville Road, Norfolk Virginia. Please visit www.woodlawngroup.com to share a memory with the family.