Janet Coupland

Our beautiful mother has left this world and we are bereft. A blessing is that there was nothing left unsaid. Our mother — Mom — had a policy that we could ask her any question we wanted, and no matter what it was, and she promised she wouldn’t get mad. So, when we asked, “You met Dad and were engaged after three weeks, and then you got married three months later. Was there ever a point after that where you woke up one morning saying, ‘Oh my God, what have I done?’” To this she immediately replied, “Oh no, not once ever. From the moment we met I knew this was forever and that our lives were a shared adventure.”

Janet Campbell of Montreal, 21, married Dr. Douglas Charles Thomas Coupland of Ottawa, 31, in Kingston, Ontario on August 24, 1957. After spending several years in the RCAF in Germany, followed by a posting in Halifax, they moved to Vancouver in 1966, a city they both loved, and where they raised four sons. As a couple, they had no interests in common. None. This is not an exaggeration, and yet they were happy as clams for forty-nine years. (Dad passed in 2016). Opposites indeed attract.

Mom’s personality encouraged people to open up, and she made them feel they could be their real selves. She was a good listener and great fun to be around, but watch out if you disagreed with her about politics. Having said that, she always listened to both sides of a story and never took things personally. She was also a news-o-holic and frequently wished she’d been born a few decades later. The internet was custom tailored to her personality.

Like anyone, Mom — Jan — had her quirks. She always salted her food before tasting it, and dairy product expiration dates meant nothing to her. She disliked outdoor Christmas lights and harbored a deep suspicion of the CBC. She went through a New Age phase at the same time as Shirley MacLaine but it never stuck. In the mid-70s she got her realtor’s license but decided not to sell anything because full time realtors with families needed the money more. She was endlessly fascinated by the world but, unlike Dad, who was always out in the world itself performing surgery, feeding cattle and flying planes, Mom led a home-based introspective existence. As we said, they were total opposites and they were a true love match.

Janet Coupland was also a wonderful mother and friend — the best of the last of the greatest generation. Just knowing that she was alive anchored us all, and now we are adrift — and we’re going to miss her in ways were only now learning. She leaves behind four sons, Tim (Tamiko), Peter, Doug, and Bruce (Jackie), as well as beloved grandchildren Cole, Siri, Julia, Lauren and Ben.

A proper service will be held when possible, pandemic pending. Thanks go out the staff at Lions Gate 7W and 7E, and to the many people of Vancouver who, eight weeks back, allowed the centre lane of Lions Gate Bridge to be kept open in the middle of rush hour, just for Mom so that she could get to VGH for surgery as quickly as possible.