Ruth Eder

Born Ruth Chaiken in 1928, she spent her childhood in Monticello, New York. She often reminisced about the rustic environment of her upbringing fondly recalling the movie star pictures hung up in the family outhouse. Her parents were immigrants from Russia and the Austria Hungarian Empire. Because her father painted houses for a living, which wasn’t very lucrative, her mother raised pigeons, chickens, and even a turkey who all met their demise at the kosher butcher. Unfortunately, Ruthie loved the turkey as if it were her pet.

Her last year of high school was spent living in Middletown, New York with her best friend Bea’s family. Ruth received a scholarship to go to a teacher’s college but couldn’t attend because her family couldn’t afford to pay for her room and board. Always an adventurous spirit, she moved to New York City at the age of 18. Ruth met her husband, Harold Eder, while living on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. The story was that she was going out with Harold’s friend, but when she met Harold, she gave him her phone number. Apparently, he fell in love with her when she tripped down the stairs one day, and he felt that he wanted to take care of her for the rest of his life. They married in 1950, and she remembered the wedding vividly including when her father became tipsy at the reception and fainted. Grandma Yetta, she recalled, pulled him off the floor by his collar, accidentally choking him back to consciousness in the process. The couple went to Washington, D.C. on their honeymoon.

Harold was in dental school, and Ruth worked to support them. Ruth was used to working as she had many jobs after she moved to NYC, including as a stenographer and phone operator. On Saturdays, she’d go to the theater for $2. She had a lifelong love of live theater. Ruth loved Broadway, but she also always had season tickets to the repertoire theater in Long Branch. She also attended local high school productions of plays as well as plays at the Jewish Community Center.

She and her husband moved to West Long Branch, New Jersey in 1955 after which Dr. Eder opened a dental practice in Long Branch. After all of her children were born, she attended what was then called Monmouth College in order to get her bachelor’s degree. The year was 1966. On her first day, the dean told her that she wasn’t going to make it and that she should go home and raise her children. It took her seven years to graduate. Rumour has it that she didn’t tell him off at the graduation. Her career was as a special education teacher in the Long Branch school system. Her love of children continued after retirement. She volunteered at Monmouth Medical Center in the pediatric unit where she played with the patients weekly.

She and her husband were active in their community; they were amongst the founders of Congregation B’nai Shalom, a conservative synagogue. When their son was two years old, he displayed signs of a cognitive disability; therefore, they searched the country for a diagnosis and treatment. One of the sad stories Ruth told was after she and Harold finally got to see a specialist at Columbia University, he simply told them to lock him up and throw away the key. At the time, there were no programs for children and young adults who had autism. Ruth and her husband were among the parents who helped define what autism was and helped found organizations when there were none. Steven is the first autistic adult on record in the state of New Jersey who receives services.

Ruth was predeceased by her father and mother, Benjamin and Yetta Chaiken; a brother Morris Chaiken; a sister Belle Muroni; her husband Harold. Survivors include her children Elizabeth Eder (Douglas Barry); Steven Eder; Debra Eder (Stephane Guez)Melissa Eder; Nancy Eder (Brian Lee); grandchildren Danielle Barry; Alana Barry; Benjamin Lee; Harry Lee; as well as cousins, nephews, nieces, many friends, neighbors, former students and patients of her husband. Her daughters said she was a born counselor. She would listen to anyone who wanted to tell their story. She also knew everyone wherever she went.

The family would like to thank the staff at Jersey Shore for providing compassionate nursing care and the Visiting Nurse Association for providing compassionate hospice care. Even at the end of Ruth’s life, she comforted her roommate who passed away just two weeks before Ruth did.

A funeral service for Ruth will be held Monday, April 24, 2023 at 1:00 PM at Bloomfield-Cooper, 2130 Kings Highway, Ocean, NJ 07712.

Services will be livestreamed on zoom:

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Following the funeral service will be a burial at 2:15 PM at Beth Israel Cemetery, Woodbridge, NJ.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.bloomfieldcooperocean.com for the Eder family.