Patricia "Tricia" Helen Stephens

Tricia will be remembered as an exceptional friend, mother and life partner and as someone who was well loved by family and friends. Time spent with Tricia was always engaging and exciting. She never fell short of creating special memories for everyone she met. To family and friends who knew her best, Tricia will be remembered as a very special and incredibly warm and caring person who listened intently to everyone in her company, and who offered and shared advice which was always accepted as enriching and insightful, no matter the topic.

Tricia was born on November 22, 1957 at Colchester Regional Hospital in Truro, Nova Scotia. She was the daughter of Bruce and Helen Phillips, lifelong Truro residents, who raised her along with her three siblings. She had one older sister, Pam, and an older brother, Craig, each born a year apart as well as a younger brother, David who joined the family almost nine years later. Growing up, Tricia was usually involved in all sorts of activities with her older siblings and soon came to better appreciate her younger brother as they too shared many life experiences over the years. As her siblings grew and had families of their own, Tricia remained a big part of their lives and naturally became the aunt, and later the great aunt that everyone loved to be with.

Tricia absolutely loved the time she spent and the friends she made while growing up in a small town, as well as the wonderful summers at Brule Beach where she often recalled her early years spent hanging out with friends at the wharf, reading comics on rainy days, or heading to Drysdale Falls for a swim. Friends often note that time spent with Tricia was always memorable and most entertaining, even when they were simply watching the summer days unfold, as they always did, at the beach.

As a young girl, Tricia had a number of interests. Most of them involved activities and adventures around Brule Beach and her love of nature.  She, like most children, was curious about the world around her and was often eager to explore it with her friends. Tricia was an independent learner but generously shared her knowledge with her friends and, later on in life, with her sons, nieces and nephews. Tricia was also an active child who, at a very young age and much to her father’s delight, naturally excelled in track and field, thanks to her early exposure to athletics through her father.

As a teenager, Tricia would often return to the Truro Amateur Athletic Club (TAAC) grounds to support the high school football team, often as part of the high school band. As Trish moved into high school, she took an interest in music, and became the fun-loving clarinetist who was always at the center of the action and creating wonderful memories with her close friends and bandmates. Tricia always enjoyed a good joke and she also developed an infamous sense of humour. These traits served Tricia extremely well in her adult life and, along with her wit, outgoing personality, empathy and understanding of others, drew the admiration of many who knew her.

Tricia was definitely not a typical teenager. She was decidedly independent and determined, and she knew what was important to her. As such, Tricia had a fairly adventurous and enjoyable high school experience, making that critical transition from adolescence to adulthood with ease. She enjoyed some classes more than others. Interestingly, given her love of nature that she cultivated throughout her life, one of her favorite classes in high school was geology. Most enduring of all, however, were the friends Tricia made throughout her high school years and the strong sense of community she felt for those closest to her and with whom she enjoyed spending time with. Tricia was best known for her time and adventures while simply being in "The Band".  The Band provided Tricia and her bandmates the opportunity to travel and bond, and ensured that she left an indelible and lifelong imprint of her unique personality on all those she called her friends before graduating from Cobequid Educational Centre (CEC) in 1976.

Tricia was very sociable and could effortlessly blend into almost any social group with ease. Her talent for easily making acquaintances guaranteed Tricia a steady stream of friends over the years. Assertive and outgoing, Tricia was easy to talk to and demonstrated a deep concern for others. Always considered a “good” friend to those she knew, Tricia enjoyed a broad group of acquaintances. She could connect with people from all walks of life and had several very close friends during her lifetime. While growing up, some of her many friends included her bandmates Trish Topshee, Tanya Hurry, Colleen Swail and Colleen Murray. During her high school years, her first job was in White’s Shoe Store on Prince Street, where she worked with her good friend Dede Crawford. Few could have anticipated the fun Tricia and Dede would have learning the value of money while also cultivating a keen eye for fashion and developing a love of shoes that would last throughout her life. Later, when she was dating Donnie Stephens, she became good friends with Colleen Marshall and reconnected with Linda Johnston during her time spent in Alberta. Despite spending many years apart with vast distances in between, Tricia was able to maintain and rekindle friendships with many of her close friends and she remained a close confidant to many throughout her life.

While not easily described as a conformist, Tricia enjoyed her college years, which for many can be a challenge with all of the academics, responsibilities, and the sudden freedom that accompanied them. But Tricia never wavered from what was important to her and what made her such a phenomenal person and friend to so many. Tricia managed the balancing act of her college studies while making new friends with ease, and completed her three year Medical Secretarial Course from Mount Saint Vincent University in Halifax. Tricia was always in search of exciting experiences and new things to learn. Her favourite times during her college years were undoubtedly spent traveling to Fredericton to see Donnie, whom she eventually joined in Fredericton in 1979. While living in Fredericton, she worked at the University of New Brunswick (UNB) in the Electrical Engineering Department where she quickly earned the respect and friendship of many young engineering students before taking on a job with the Director of Nursing at the Dr. Everett Chalmers Hospital.

When Don took a job in Edmonton as a young graduate engineer with Delcan, Tricia easily found employment with a small holding company, where again she was valued and respected not only for her strong skills, but equally for her friendly demeanour and personality that was constantly on display to all those who knew and worked with her. While the small holding company had sold the Oilers when they were in the Western Hockey Association (WHA), Tricia’s great working relationships often resulted in her receiving season and playoff tickets to the Edmonton Oilers.

On December 29, 1984, after a prolonged courtship, Tricia exchanged wedding vows with Donnie Stephens at St. John’s Anglican Church in Truro, Nova Scotia. Having then moved to Ottawa, Tricia was committed to having a family. Tricia and Donnie welcomed their first son Bryan into the world in September 1985, followed by Ross two years later in September 1987 and finally Scott, their youngest, in September 1989. She shared these early years with Sue and Pierre de Gagné, as well as Diane and John Atkins, who had children around the same age as her own. Often returning to Nova Scotia to visit family and spend the summer months on the Northumberland Strait as well as in Dartmouth visiting her sister, Pam her husband Bill and their family with whom she had the strongest of bonds. Tricia raised her boys to know the importance and closeness of family, and also to share a deep love of the ocean that she herself so enjoyed as a young girl.

Tricia was Don’s lifelong best friend and companion but she also quickly proved to be a gifted mother. This was a role that she absolutely and clearly loved, spending all of her time with her three children. During these years she excelled in responding to and meeting their needs, creating wonderful memories for them and their close friends, while instilling her most important values in their young and inquisitive minds. Tricia’s love for her three sons was obvious and exhibited itself in everything she did during their childhood years on Weston Drive, where she made many enduring friendships with their friends’ parents, including: the Baileys, originally from England but who spent a few years in Ottawa and with whom she remained in contact her entire life; the McIlkennys who arrived from Ireland, Shusters, Altosaars, Hendersons and Farquharsons who were all also raising families on Weston Drive and whom Tricia welcomed into her life; and, many more families of friends that the boys made, including the Hayes and the Inces, as they attended Pleasant Park Elementary School, Vincent Massey Middle School and then Hillcrest High School before all heading off to the University of Ottawa and for Scott Carleton University.

While Tricia worked outside the home for a number of years—most recently providing support in the guidance department of Lisgar Collegiate, where she demonstrated her caring but strong work ethic and was loved by the students who often would seek her counsel—her primary occupation was as a loving and dedicated mother, raising her three boys and watching them grow into responsible young men. Many years were spent following the various sports that the boys participated in. After Bryan joined a hockey team with the Lowrys, she became an enthusiastic hockey fan and she followed each of her three sons as they reached individual successes with their various sports teams (the Bakkers, Fergusons, Whiteheads and Dawdys). A reluctant camper, Tricia joined in on the fun when the family and friends took off on weekend camping trips to places like Bon Echo, Murphy’s Point and Sandbanks because she knew that the three boys’ lives would be so enriched by the opportunities to be so close to nature. Tricia did however draw the line when it came to certain amenities, and insisted on access to both running water and hot showers that most “comfort stations” provided. These experiences surely had an influence on Scott when he selected a weekend canoe trip in Algonquin Park as the way to celebrate his bachelor party in August 2018, following his engagement to Kath Tooley in March 2016.

Tricia’s life focus was clearly her family. Interestingly enough, she was as comfortable interacting with her many nieces and nephews, and their young families as she was with her siblings, their partners and adults in general. She glowed when interacting with all of them all, and always enjoyed their undivided attention, an unbreakable connection while in their presence. Her ability to build and gain confidence in young people, including David and Ryan’s new family, was a testament to her personality which went to the core of who she was. As some of her nieces and nephews began to marry and raise children of their own, Tricia selfishly exploited every opportunity she had to interact with their young inquisitive minds, and to share her infectious personality and love with them. Watching her reach out and touch yet another generation was forever captivating.

As her boys grew older, Tricia continued to welcome all of their friends into her home and, as a lover of animals, she also took the opportunity to satisfy her lifelong wish for a household pet. Sailor, Tricia’s much cherished miniature schnauzer terrier, shared her determination and independence, and was a dedicated, inseparable and loyal companion for more than 11 years.

Tricia wasn't simply a good and kind person. She was an exceptional individual who will be remembered forever by her family and friends as a personable, caring and giving, truly one of a kind person. Tricia was an integral and vital part of their lives, and someone who intimately acknowledged their inner feelings and needs. Tricia leaves behind a life-long legacy of incredible friendships and so many cherished memories.  Everyone whose life she touched will always remember Tricia, her spirit, her love and her beauty, but none more so than her loving children, husband and siblings.

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STEPHENS, Patricia Helen (Phillips)

Born in Truro, Nova Scotia on the 22nd of November 1957, Tricia passed away in Ottawa, Ontario on the 4th of September 2018 following a short illness. Tricia was predeceased by her parents, Bruce and Helen Phillips. She leaves behind her much loved and cherished ‘boys’, her beloved husband Don and sons Bryan, Ross and Scott (Kath), sister Pam Sanford (Bill), brothers Craig (Jo), David (Ryan) and their loving families, as well as the extended Stephens family. Truro and Brule Beach were Tricia’s most special places, where she grew up and will surely return. Tricia had an unparalleled wit and sense of humour and was engaging at all levels. She left her mark on everyone she met, often forming an instant and lifelong personal connection, though few could compete with the love Tricia had for her family. While raising her boys, Tricia worked at several Ottawa schools before retiring from the Lisgar Collegiate Institute’s Guidance Department. She loved being in constant contact with young people, which kept her young at heart. In keeping with Tricia's wishes there will be no funeral service, however a visitation will be held on Saturday, September 8 from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at McEvoy-Shields Funeral Home, 1411 Hunt Club Road, Ottawa. In lieu of flowers, you may wish to consider a memorial donation to the Beatrice Hunter Cancer Research Institute at Dalhousie University (http://bhcri.ca/) or the Ottawa Hospital Foundation (http://ohfoundation.ca/fighting-cancer-cancer).