Andrea Jordan Astell

Light

Some light up rooms with their laughter

Others brighten the world with a smile.

Many will make you feel happy

By sitting nearby for a while.

Some folk can cheer up a cold day

With just a few words or a glance.

Others can make things seem better

If you just give them half of a chance.

But there are those whose whole life is a blessing,

Not just a moment, a smile or a word.

They make all around them feel special,

No person ignored or unheard.

They give all they have and then give more,

While helping somebody get through.

It’s not about thanks or for mention,

It’s something that’s in them they do.

And when it’s time that they sadly must leave us

We grieve … but, also, we smile.

We give thanks that our lives were connected

And were tucked in their heart for a while. ~Pam Nelson

Andrea’s death has left a hole in the hearts of her loving family; she leaves behind her son, Harrison; mother, Joyce; Father, Dennis; brother, Jason; Grandma Shirley and Dennis; Grandma and Grandpa Astell; boyfriend, Travis; ex-husband, Robert and numerous extended family and friends in Seattle and Oregon.

We gather today, because that’s what people do. Since the beginning of time, it has been part of the human condition that we stop and acknowledge the death of someone. To give honor to a life lived, and to begin to figure out what that loss means to the ones left behind. To provide a sacred space for the pain and grief. When a woman who was such a large presence in so many lives, is gone so suddenly, and before anyone was ready, we all have to catch our breath, focus on the memories of what was, acknowledge what could have been, and find moments of gratitude for the time we had with her. It is in the tears and stories that each of you can find comfort and healing. So, we gather today, because that’s what people do.

Washington Irving said, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”

Andrea was born in Seattle, Washington, on July 11, 1991. She had a 3 ½ year old brother, Jason waiting for her at home, but Andrea’s arrival into the world was not a smooth one. She was born with a hole in her heart and was a very sick baby. However, a specialist told her mother, “She’s going to come through this; It’s not minor; she has a big hole in her heart, but she’s strong”.

Andrea’s aunt agreed to care for her for the first year, because she was too young for daycare. Ten months later, her aunt became ill, and was unable to continue looking after her. Joyce remembered the daycare extended a special privilege to allow Andrea to attend. They said, “Jason will look out for her; no one will mess with her!"

Early on, she had a mind of her own. She exhibited definite clothing preferences, and refused to wear dresses! She also played hard and nothing kept her down. At four years of age, Andrea’s heart had still not fully closed, so doctor’s finally performed surgery to fix it. She and Jason enjoyed attending various summer camps with the YMCA. They went hiking and kayaking among other fun activities.

Andrea’s Grandparents live in Medford, Oregon, so she and Jason spent lots of time visiting them, and made special memories, deep-sea fishing, off the coast of Brookings, Oregon. They drove around the Oregon coast, went to Disneyland, Las Vegas, The Grand Canyon and ventured around Washington’s, Olympic Peninsula.

When she was little, her Dad, Dennis first took her bike riding (seated in a little trailer) behind his bike. As she got older, she learned to ride and had fun biking with Jason and her Dad.

She and Jason appreciated spending time with their Dad, and his parents in Oregon. Dennis took the kids out and showed them how to shoot, he instructed them in proper gun safety, and then practiced with handguns and rifles. She relished the time with her Dad, and shooting continued to be a hobby she loved. While she didn’t get to see him as often as she would have liked, Andrea loved her Dad very much. He was often in her thoughts, and he never stopped worrying about him.

Andrea joined the Girl Scouts of America and remained active in the organization into her high school years. During the last part of Junior High and the first year of high school, Andrea went through some difficult times, and endured some struggles.

It was a turbulent time in her teens, but she found the determination to change course. She became involved in sports and (over the years) played, soccer, softball and basketball. She tried cheerleading and (was one of only two girls) to join the wrestling team.

When she was 14 years-old, Andrea met a girl named, Sydney. They met through a mutual friend, and things started off a little awkward between the two. Sydney recalled their first conversation involved trying to figure out what “key club” was at school. They were way off the mark, and guessed that members either made or collected keys; they laughed when they found out it was focused on leadership! The girls became lunch buddies, went to a dance together, and quickly formed a bond. They understood one another’s sarcastic personalities-which could border on rude at times. You never had to wonder what she was thinking; Sydney said, “Andrea always told it like it was. She didn’t care”. They used to drive around, buy a two liter of soda and a pizza and eat it in the car. They spent so much time together, people started to see them as one person. It felt as if they could read each other’s minds. Over the years, they only had three or four fights-all over silly things, (probably because they could both be very emotional) but they never stayed mad for long.

Andrea got her first job at Quizno’s sandwich shop. She was so proud of herself for getting hired at 15 years old, because most places required workers to be at least 16! During high school, she found a position at American Eagle, and they happily welcomed her back to work, during school breaks in college. She also worked at a place called Seattle Suntan.

Andrea took part in the “Running Start a program, which allows students to take high school and college courses concurrently-making it possible to graduate with a high school diploma and an Associate’s degree at the same time. She was accepted into the ROTC program, but chose not to pursue it. She attended Washington State University for a year and a half, and joined a sorority during the first year. She ultimately decided it wasn’t where she wanted to be, so she transferred to Highline Community College, where she received her Associate’s degree.

Andrea celebrated her 21st birthday by celebrating in Las Vegas. She invited her Mom to come along with her and her friends. Joyce remembered this was the point where her daughter began looking out for her. They were walking through a parking lot, and Andrea said, “Watch out for that curb”. Around 8 or 9 pm, Joyce was ready to call it a night, and began walking to the hotel room. Andrea said, “Mom? Do you need help? You’re heading the wrong way”! Joyce said, “My Mom-wings (around her) had loosened up, and suddenly our roles were reversing”. Joyce went on a business trip to Japan, and Andrea worried about her then too. Joyce loved the attention; she thought it showed Andrea’s maturity.

Andrea’s took a job as an Insurance Specialist with Farmer’s Insurance, and she really enjoyed it. The company offered her position which required her to relocate to Omaha, Nebraska. The company had a strong training and support program, and Andrea began learning about developing various training programs.

She was funny and silly and often laughed until she cried. She wrote “To-do” lists for work and her personal life. Joyce laughed while recalling Andrea preparing to get married. Joyce asked how she could help, so Andrea gave her a “to-do” list. The following day, Andrea checked in with her Mom, and the list hadn’t been done to her standards, so Andrea took it back, and gave it to someone else!

Andrea’s friend, Sydney went through some difficult times, and Andrea didn’t hesitate to offer her a place to stay and a job in Nebraska. Andrea didn’t judge her or make her feel bad, she was just always there.

Andrea got married, bought her first home and found out she was expecting a baby, while living in Nebraska. In October 2017, Andrea’s life forever changed, when she gave birth to her son, Harrison. He became her most important focus in life. After becoming a mother, she’d call her Mom for advice, but Joyce said, “I knew she was always looking after me”. Andrea told her Mom, “You’ll always have a place at my house”.

Shortly after Harrison was born, she and her husband moved to Phoenix, Arizona. She worked at a credit union for a while, but was currently employed at Delloitte. Andrea was very smart; she had completed a lot of schooling and wasn’t far from graduating with a degree in accounting and finance.

Andrea met a wonderful friend named, Sara, while working at Delloitte. Sarah shared some memories of her such as: Andrea kept a board at her desk with positive quotes on it. Every day she changed the quote, and people made a point to stop by and read the encouraging words.

She bragged about Harrison to her coworkers, and while they were all trying to maintain professional looking work spaces from home, she proudly displayed a green and yellow trampoline behind her! One evening the company put on a “virtual happy hour” but as people were introducing themselves, Andrea had to un-mute her computer to say, “Hi, I’m Andrea, and I’m just trying to keep my two-year-old from eating my infused oils”! Her natural hilarity broke the ice for everyone!

Andrea was a joy to be around, and became a confidante to many people at the office. Sarah said, “I’m so happy I got to meet her for the short time she was here. “She impacted so many lives, probably without realizing it”. Looking back at how Andrea spent her time, Sarah feels compelled to re-evaluate how she spends her time.

She co-parented, and put Harrison first. She found fun things to do with him, so he wasn’t sitting in front of the tv. They created art projects with finger paints and chalk, she bought a slip and slide and a kiddie pool and they visited the park. They hiked, explored the Science Center and she introduced him to water balloons; she was never concerned about the mess or time things would take.

Andrea took her son to Seattle a couple times. They even went up to Snoqualmie, Washington to go sledding. She was so excited for him to experience the snow, but he wasn’t exactly thrilled about the cold!

She had a kind parenting style and was good at picking her battles. For example, she wanted him to put his socks and shoes on, Harrison wanted nothing to do with his socks. She said, “I don’t like wearing socks either, but if you don’t wear them, your feet will stink”! She wanted Harrison to have fun, and loved hearing his laugh!

Andrea was left-handed, and as she got older, she embraced it and had fun buying things specifically designed for lefties! Andrea was so eager to learn, and staying busy made her happy. She was driven and sought to continually improve herself.

Her neighbor told her Mom, she’d be outside clipping bushes or blowing leaves during the heat of the day, because it needed to be done. She even found the strength to “get herself together” and dispose of a huge cockroach!

Friends were very important to her. After Harrison was born, she reached out to new Moms and continued to keep in contact with her old friends. Syndey said, “we had an understanding that we didn’t have to talk every day, and we always picked up where we left off”. They also Face Timed, and Andrea always called her, Aunt Sydney, when Harrison was around. Andrea Appreciated her support system (even though some were 2,000 miles away) and stayed active and involved via social media. She and Sydney were having so much fun watching Tik Tok videos lately.

When Andrea was six years-old, she got a cat. It was no ordinary feline. Micky was an eighteen-pound Main Coon-almost as big as she was! Andrea quickly fell in love with her new furry friend, and insisted he sleep with her at night. She’d pull him into bed and squeeze him as she drifted off to sleep. As her hold loosened, the cat would try to bolt, only to wake her just enough to grab a tighter hold. One day Andrea informed her mother, “If I squeeze too much, he squeeks”! What a good cat Micky must have been! Around her 9th grade year, she got a Golden Retriever, named, Sadie. She adored her dog and cared for her until she went off to college, and then Sadie stayed behind and became Mom’s buddy. While living in Omaha, Nebraska, she found another dog to love. A Lab/mix she named, Winnie. Winnie was always there for her, and was a faithful best friend.

Andrea was always down for a cheese quesadilla and some Cheez-Its. She still enjoyed loved Otter Pops-just as much as she had as a child and recently bought a bunch. She was learning how BBQ, was growing an herb garden and she was experimenting by infusing various herbs with olive oil and vodka. And, no, not olive oil and vodka together!

Her favorite color was lime green, she was a huge fan of the show, “Friends”, and had all the DVD’s. She was so excited to discover she had a “Friends”, friend at work too. The last movie Andrea watched was “The Art of Racing in the Rain”. Joyce said, she asked me, “Why did I cry harder when the dog died, than the person”?

Andrea was sometimes a worrier and her own worst critic, but she was also, strong, beautiful, thoughtful, funny, no-nonsense, outspoken and straightforward, dependable, driven, high achieving and adventurous.

She never forgot her Mom’s birthday or Mother’s Day. She sent her Mom videos of Harrison, and Face Timed, so she could see and talk to her grandson. Joyce said, “She inspired me. I’d think, if Andrea can do that, then I can do it”.

Sydney said, “She took after her Mom”. She gardened, cooked, liked crafting and art projects. She was comfortable using power tools, and even made her own table. She tried things, even if they didn’t work out. She was “perfectly imperfect”.

She and Jason had the typical sibling rivalry while growing up. They were good kids, but there was still the 3 ½ year age difference. Jason joined the military, so they didn’t see each other often. Lately, the two had starting getting closer, and were working on an adult relationship with one another.

Back in high school, Andrea became friends with a girl named Kim. She also hung out with Kim’s brother, Travis, because they had mutual friends. Kim eventually moved to Tucson, and while visiting her, Andrea and Travis met up again, and realized they had a lot in common. After 11 years of knowing each other, they fell hard and fast for one another. They spent time hiking, camping, 4x4-ing, playing with Harrison and cuddling on the couch. Travis said, “Boring Sunday’s were awesome”! He described Andrea as, “The spitting image of the perfect person. She went to school, had a good job, a beautiful son and she was genuine about everything”. She and Travis were planning for a long future together. They were saving to buy a house, were planning to get married on the beach (near her Grandparent’s home) in Oregon, and they wanted to have another baby.

Andrea’s Mom “sensed a calm over Andrea during the last six months”. Travis brought out a greater confidence in her, and Andrea said, “I feel like I can be myself with him”. She had begun to realize it wasn’t a sign of weakness to ask for help-she didn’t have to do everything on her own. Travis said, “We felt blessed to have found each other.”

As our gathering comes to an end, and you prepare to leave, may you take the memory of Andrea with you, tuck it in a special place in your heart, and never let her be forgotten. May you honor her life, by being a dedicated friend, finding joy in each day, being adventurous and staying devoted to family. May you offer a hand in support, laugh until you cry, and love with all your heart, for the remainder of your life-just as Andrea did.

Andrea’s life began with a hole in her heart, but it was as if that opening allowed all the goodness in the world to take up residence inside before doctors stitched it closed. Her tiny heart grew to be the biggest, most defining part about her. A good heart has stopped beating, but a heart that has touched so many lives can’t help but live on in those it loved.

Thank you all for coming; this concludes the service.