Donna Elaine Hendrickson

Donna Elaine Hendrickson, extraordinary daughter, wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, sister, steady help to her extended family, and faithful friend, went to Our Lord on Wednesday October 25, 2017. This woman, so concerned for each person in her life’s path, is deeply mourned by family and friends. She is remembered also as a lifelong champion of the poor and outcasts.

She was born on August 6, 1939, in Kalispell, Montana, to Mary Alice Rose Bishop and Frank Gordon Bishop, who had a bakery. Both parents were from the Frenchtown Valley town of Huson, west of Missoula. Soon after Donna’s birth, the family moved to Wallace, Idaho, where her father worked in the mines, and then to Portland. There, her father first was an electrician helping build the World War II cargo vessels called Liberty Ships, and then worked for Southern Pacific Railroad until his death in 1965. From the time she was small, Donna carried the worry that her father would die. His heart trouble led to open-heart surgery in 1955. Her Mom had to find work outside the home to support the family. Donna willingly accepted extra household burdens, like doing all the laundry, and looking after her younger sisters. Donna graduated from Grout Grade School and Cleveland High School. Uncertain about her future, she was grateful that her parents gave her the summer off to think it over! Her first jobs were in insurance. She was a claims girl for Pacific Indemnity a year and a half, and for American Casualty for three years, then a claims approver four years for John Hancock. In those years she met treasured friends Barbara (Oreskovich) Wright, Mary Jean (Bencich) Keith and Carol (Bastian) O’Bill. Oh how Donna loved to remember the fun, the dances, and memories of romances they shared in their early 20s! Those three friends were like family, and with Donna to the end.

Donna married Alan Williams in 1964. She had carefully saved enough money for them to buy a house in Northeast Portland. They had a daughter and then a son. In 1968, they rented their home to accept an educational opportunity for her husband. To help him earn a Master’s Degree in social work, they took on the job of running a foster home for boys from MacLaren Youth Correctional Facility in Woodburn. The foster home was called More House, operated by men of St. Thomas More Catholic Church. As they began this daunting task, Donna discovered she was pregnant again, and had her second daughter. Caring for three children and doing some babysitting too, she began running the five-boy home full time while her husband went to school. Over the next two years, she was mother and complete caretaker of about 25 MacLaren boys. She reflected on her More House experience in a 1969 Christmas newsletter: “We cannot go overboard in our praise of the boys we have with us now. We love them as our own and feel a great sense of pride in what they have accomplished and are accomplishing. Boys like these make us positive that what we and our supporters are doing in providing this home is well worthwhile.” The men of Thomas More were delighted with her work and the help she organized from family and friends. After More House, the Williams family moved back to their Northeast Portland home, and a second son entered their lives.

After 10 years together, the marriage ended. As a single mother of four, Donna’s number-one priority was to assure that her children felt secure and had everything they needed. She was a dedicated mother to her children throughout her whole life. She took classes at Portland Community College, hoping to become a legal secretary. She found work with an attorney for about a year, then worked for Jantzen as a secretary and nurse’s assistant.

In 1981, she married David C. Hendrickson, welcoming his two sons and one daughter into their new family of nine. Busier now than ever with her new life, she continued to be her widowed Mom’s Wednesday helper until she died in 2003, while never turning away from an extended-family member in need. Early in her marriage to David, Donna joined friends Barbara Wright and Mary Jean Keith in starting a self-employed house-cleaning business. Last August, as Donna was getting weaker with her cancer, Barbara passed away. To Barbara’s grieving husband and family, Donna sent condolences including this funny remembrance of the house-cleaning business they called the Three Bags: “One day, about 1982, as I was thinking of my dear old friend Barbara Oreskovich Wright, I thought of another dear, longtime friend, Mary Jean Bencich Keith. They had never met. It was time, I thought, to introduce those two Yugoslav girls. “What an introduction! In fact, it was two introductions. After Oreskovich Wright met Bencich Keith, we three stay-at-home mothers got to talking, and one of us introduced the idea of starting a business together. One of Barbara’s suggestions was to collect grease. I think we howled at that preposterous idea! After lots of laughter and hard thinking, we really knew the one thing we could do was cleaning houses, and Barbara famously named our new little company the Three Bags. I’m sure you’ve heard of the many uproarious times we had! Many belly laughs were shared!”

After family and friends, sports was Donna’s lifelong love — especially basketball and football. The Blazers, Notre Dame, and the University of Oregon were her teams — and The Patriots’ Tom Brady could do no wrong! Donna was a leader in basketball in grade school, and in her late teens she coached girls’ basketball at St. Ignatius Grade School. On one of her first dates with David, she whipped him in a game of Horse! Donna was a boxer, too, proud of having been taught by her oldest brother, Gordon, who preceded her death by 39 years, and whom she missed to her last breath. With that boxing skill, she stood up to bullies. She challenged one grade school bully and took him down with a single punch! She was a determined but thoughtful Democrat, always ready to box a Republican’s ears! She loved to laugh. Loved to “kid around,” as she put it. Loved to hide behind her poker face as she put people on. Loved jokes, but couldn’t remember one, and never saw one coming again! Loved parades — crashed a few! Delighted in harmless mischief. Greeted strangers with a big smile and an unexpected, warm “Hello!” She had great fun planning surprises, like singing personalized Happy Birthday songs in public or on the phone (but NO SURPRISES FOR HER, thank you!) And how Donna loved to dance! Nat King Cole took over her heart. She loved Jerry Lee Lewis’ lyrical laughs about love. Before leaving home, Donna brought music into her home in a big way, gifting her parents with a cabinet record player for their living room. She remembered loving the fun of just dancing alone there to ‘50s romantic and rock classics.

Most of all, Donna so enjoyed connecting with people one on one, lifting them up with small acts of kindness. She often said she had no talent, but in fact, her compassion and constant concern for people WAS her talent. She was Love in motion. She dared to be herself as few of us do. She listened with her whole heart, and was willing to move Heaven and Earth to help someone. She never sought attention, but focused fully on the other person. Donna lifted up many heavy hearts with this God given gift. She shared with David her deep Catholic faith and love of the Rosary prayers throughout their courtship and 36-year marriage.

In addition to David, Donna leaves daughters, Mary Alice and Elizabeth; sons, Scott and Mattison; stepsons, Kevin and Brian; stepdaughter, Shannon; brother, David and sister, Carolyn; 12 grandchildren and 2 great-grandsons. What a joy to think of Donna Elaine embraced in God’s Peace Forever!

Letter to Nana from grandson, Graysen George, which he read at her funeral mass:

Dear Sweet Nana, I wonder where you could be right now. Maybe in Heaven, walking downtown, or even maybe watching over us right now. There's so much to walk about, but only a such short amount of time. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without you in our lives. You are a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, great-grandmother and most importantly, a Nana. You truly are a part of God's gifts.

Let me tell you guys some key points that a few people do not know about my relationship with my Nana. One thing that few people know between us is how much love and appreciation we have for each other. But some people don't understand what real love is between a Nana and a Grandchild. Some may know that Grandmothers and Grandchildren are like two peas in a pod. They love each other, care for one another, appreciate each other, cherish each other, and most importantly understand each other. Nana was all of those things to me, as some may think to themselves as I read this. My relationship with our Nana was and still is a bonding relationship. It has never been broken by either a family member's hardship, a personal opinion, a parting of both parents, jealousy of a person's belief, and most importantly a struggle of different opinions. Nana has given me lots and lots of advice, many openings to opportunities (like faith), she has given me clothes for birthdays and holidays, taken me for walks all over Portland, bathed me as a kid, sheltered me when I need a place to sleep, fed me many, many times, sacrificed for me, and most importantly she's given me the opportunity to be myself and be me. Accepted me for who I am. She was very understanding when it came to struggles, and I'm sure she's given us all some helpful advice when it comes to our struggles. She has seen me grow up, just like each and every one of you many wonderful human beings who are here today and the many who couldn't be here with us in person.

My Nana is a once-in-a-lifetime bond that might even be to me, in my opinion, a bond that is so strong that it goes into another lifetime. She has seen me in rough times. She has cheered me up when I was down. She is like a second mom to me. Yes that's right, I said it. No offense Mom. Nana is my guardian angel who has been with me in person and in times when she is not around. She is an amazing gift to all of us, and we should never forget the impact and energetic personality she has given us. There are many things we could say about Nana, but one thing we don't always recognize is loyalty. Loyalty is a strong word. From the dictionary... and I quote, "The quality of being loyal to someone or something" or "A strong feeling of support or allegiance." Loyalty... Now just think... How is your Nana, Mom, Aunt, Grandmother, Donna, however you see her... loyal? Well, I'll tell you one thing, she's been a damn good wife, a mother who has always wanted the best for her children, and an amazing grandmother to the 12 wonderful grandchildren that have been in her life. And I won't forget baby Kane, Alicia and Chad Ruzich's newest bundle of joy to the family. And also Hayden, who is Alex and Carissa's newest baby to the family.

I read this letter to Nana when she was in the hospital and one thing she made sure for me to say as I read this to you people was, "Don't forget baby Kane and my newest grandson, Hayden; I am proud to finally be a great grandmother!" She always wanted to become a great grandmother.

Nana was all about family. She always made sure family came first. She always made sure her children, grandchildren, family, and of course husband were fed, able to have shelter, helped financially, and most importantly loved. There are many things Nana and I have talked about, but one thing that stuck with me before her passing was something I will never forget. Before I tell you this, this made me really think and put a clear vision on how this can help the family with our loss. She said to me, "When I pass away, I don't want you to feel sad or worried. I want you to have fun and enjoy what God has given you in this world and keep in mind your faith will guide you towards your success in life. Graysen, remember I will always be here for you, and know that I will be watching over you." This quote might seem like she's just talking to me, but what I realized was she was not just talking to me, but she was also talking to everyone in this room right now and to the people who are not in attendance. She told me in the hospital personally that she is happy to have such a heartwarming family, and even those she's seen most of us struggle, she has seen us change. We have all overcome obstacles in life, she she's seen us persevere.

Even though we have lost a very important soul in our lives, she wouldn't want us to be sad or feel guilty. She would want us to enjoy life and have a fun time doing things that we love, because that's what she did. She lived every day as a gift. Meeting people, going to church, gardening, cooking, doing sports, enjoying art, knowing what fashion was all about when it came to clothing and so much more than I can think but can't remember at this time. These are all things she enjoyed. If she were here talking to us right now, which she is in spirit, she would want us to enjoy things we all love to do. This is what Nana's message was. For us to be happy and enjoy life, just like she did every day.

Father Neil Moore's Funeral Homily for Donna Elaine Hendrickson on November 7, 2017: It's a song that when you hear it, you want to dance and wave your arms, and sing with your whole body. "When the saints come marching in, when the saints come marching in, yes I want to be in that number when the saints come marching in."

Donna's heart was full of music and wit and humor & she enjoyed parades and dancing and being with people. No one was a stranger to her. She lifted your spirits with her enthusiasm. I spoke to her and David on the phone just a few days before she died. "When we get back from the coast we want to have you over," she said to me. She got to see the ocean at Seaside one last time before she died.

I believe Donna is in the arms of God forever now and there are many welcoming her home - her mother and father, and Gordon and Mary Beth her brother and sister. Plus a host of friends.

In this month of November the Church celebrates memories of grace of people like Donna who answered God's call to be hospitable to one another as God is hospitality for us. Hospitality is not just a Sunday morning activity after Mass with coffee and donuts but a way of living gospel and discovering access to the tenderness of God in caring for others, that includes the lonely, the stranger, those on the margins and edges of life.

Early on in her married life she and her young children and husband gave two years of service in a group home in Northeast Portland where she mentored troubled youngsters having a tough time and she challenged them to live in hope rather than in fear.

She wanted to give them a sense of responsibility in managing their own lives and reminding them it is in our DNA that we are birthed in the womb of God with a sacred dignity from the first moment of our existence.

Donna was born in Kalispell, Montana in 1939 and the times were tough economically for many many families. Her father's health condition was poor and he died in his early 50's of heart problems.

The Bishop family learned when the times get tough you slice the bread a bit thinner. And you find out the most important gifts in life are those which connect you together in love, and are gifts of the Holy Spirit.

We do not have to compete for generosity, compassion, humor, attentiveness to one another, patience perseverance, hope, love, trust that things will work out in God's time when you stay together. These are gifts of abundance and available to all.

There will be many stories about Donna today. About her humor, her ease with people she had never met before, her care for others.

I would like to mention one such story that involved her two brothers, Gordon and Dave, who were very good athletes. Donna played basketball with them and learned a lot about the sport from them. But girls basketball teams at the time had different rules that involved six players, three playing offense in the front court and three playing defense in the back court. Whether you played offense or defense you only played half court. But that wasn't the way she learned the game from her brothers.

Given the change in how girls' basketball is played and equal opportunity rights for women in athletics, Donna might have gained a college scholarship with her enormous basketball skills. But she was not one to look back on what could have been or to allow resentments to poison her attitude toward life.

Donna and David were married for 36 years and David has kept a Valentine card that Donna gave him many years ago and I would like to quote what she wrote to him. It is short and simple and moving.

"Every day you remind me how wonderful God meant love to be." "Every day you remind me how wonderful God meant love to be." She was speaking from her heart, and saying love is the way God intended us to live.

When it is all said and done I believe we are all involved in a love story, a story God has been telling since the dawn of creation, a story of grace and mercy and beauty. We live in a culture where individualism is prized, rather than community which our faith tradition affirms as having ultimate value.

When you see love being lived as David and Donna lived, you know love is the most real and beautiful thing on earth. We come from a God whose very nature is community, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit loving and sharing life with one another and never holding anything back.

Our lives spring from such abundant goodness and tenderness. Even if Adam and Eve had never sinned, we believe that God would still come to live among us and with us, embracing us in every stage of our existence even as an infant child.

Even at the time of his impending death when Jesus knew that the forces of death were closing upon him he prayed to the Father, "I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you have loved me from the beginning."

We all fail in this love story. We fail to love God with the generosity God loves us. We fail to love one another at times when we live our lives on a quid pro quo basis, that is, you stroke my back and I will stroke yours in return.

As children I suppose we have been taught notions of God as a stern judge whose judgments are rendered in a court room environment. Do you plead guilty? Do your good deeds outnumber your bad deeds?

I believe God is our Judge but not to accuse us or shame us but to lift us up on Eagles Wings that we might soar and rise above pettiness and seek the Kingdom of God. I cannot think of any one in the whole universe who knows us and loves us more deeply than God.

God knows the worse things about ourselves even those things we fear to look at. But the same God knows the best things about ourselves, and knows we are lovelier and more beautiful than we could ever imagine. Such a judge I shall always welcome.

St. Augustine used to say it is good for us to remember the dead and to celebrate their life. And it is also good on such occasions to examine our lives and to ask how shall we live. What would we wish our own obituary to say about the way we live.

May all of our stories affirm that we are made for the glory of God and we have a brief lifetime to magnify God's goodness.

We chorus you home dear Donna with our tears, with our laughter, and with gratitude for your goodness and love. We pray that one day we shall be with you and with all those we love, those we could never bear to be apart from.

God be with you dear Donna.

God be with us.