It's painful to see this notice and be reminded that Jane is no longer with us. I live in New York, so I wouldn't see Jane regularly, but I always knew that she was "up there," in Massachusetts or Rhode Island and I would speak to her from time to time. We went to high school together, we met up in Europe together after our junior year of high school and were roommates our freshman year at Harvard.
I am surprised at how choked up I feel seeing this funeral home notice. 
Vivian Ducat

Without Jane, i don’t think that i would be in the place i am today. She was always selfless and willing to give her time to help people, i’m so grateful to have had her guidance. I miss her so much

My family wouldn’t exist as currently constructed without her guidance, counsel and unwavering support.  There is a void that  can not possibly be filled by a single person, it will take an army.

I think of Jane so very often.  Miss her terribly.

Barbara Callan, Franklin, MA

I want to extend my deepest sympathy to all of Jane’s family and friends and to all those who loved her.
I attended her Memorial service this afternoon on Zoom, as I’ve had some health challenges recently. It was a lovely service, and I was very heartened to hear so many stories of Jane that I knew to be true to my experience of her. Hearing stories of her family and friends made me feel grateful for her, that she had such a rich emotional life.
I have been a patient of Jane’s for 34 years. I experienced her loss almost as a physical blow, as I had with my mother’s passing, years ago. It feels profoundly wrong that she’s no longer a light in this corner of the world.
I was astonished at how many people seemed to have come to the separate conclusion that her death was, in all likelihood, the result of her having tried to rescue some poor creature in peril. It’s a testament to the genuinely kind person that she was.
I don’t know who I would have been without her kindness. She was there for me for my entire adult life, from the time my 34 year old son was 3 months old, and I would bring him to her office in a baby carrier; years before the birth of my daughter; through the deaths of each of my parents; through illness and despair. She knew my children and grandchildren, and was loved by them all.
She was witness to my entire adult existence. And even as I feel as though she takes a piece of me with her, I consider myself beyond fortunate to have known her.

I knew Jane since 1969, when she and I began sharing a hall locker which we did throughout high school. After 11th grade, I  spent almost a week with the Finkelstein family in Venice, and prior to that, had spent a few days in London together with Jane and another high school friend of ours. In 12th grade,  we both got  into Harvard, and went on to be roommates freshman year, and later moved to the same Harvard house.  I saw Jane irregularly after college especially when  I moved away from Boston, after four additional years. But  we always picked right up again either in person or on the phone.  I only saw Jane in NYC (as opposed to Boston) once, when her mother, Nina wanted to see me late in Nina's life, and at Nina's memorial.
This past June (2022),  I got together with Jane for an evening when I went to Cambridge for our 45th reunion We had a great conversation and talked about aspects  of Jane's personal life, and Nina's passing that we had never discussed before. For some reason, I found myself wanting to take pictures of Jane--she looked great and was wearing characteristic colors and clothing styles and looked very Jane, and very young for our age,  and I wanted to capture that visual moment. But I decided that Jane would hate it, so I didn't.  I am sorry that I didn't just follow my impulse.  
I cannot get my head around her death.  Jane was someone whom I assumed would always be there in my life, and I miss her.  Bizarrely, I have this desire to tell Jane about what happened to my friend, Jane. Then we could have commiserated together about how terrible her loss is.


Dear family of Jane’s 

My twin girls have been patients of janes for 14 years.  They started seeing her at the age of 4.   They had eating issues and anxiety.   
We owe Jane everything.  without her my girls would never have gotten better.   She was the most amazing, beautiful, caring, gentle, and selfless person we know.   She would answer their calls 24/7.   Jane will be so missed by everyone.   She cared so much for the children in her practice.    My girls are heartbroken for the loss of Jane.     We are so sorry for her family’s loss.     Jane will always be in our hearts and never forgotten.     Love the MacKay Twins.    

Jane, words cannot describe the way you helped me throughout the years, ever since I was 6 I have had the chance to meet with Jane at least once every two weeks. She has always been a person of great support to me and I truly felt understood by her. She spoke of how much she cared for walking, hiking, and her cats. She has inspired me so much throughout my life and really guided me to become a healthier person. I will always remind myself of the tools she gave me throughout being my therapist. I noticed around a month ago that I had not spoken to Jane in quite a long time, I was pretty worried but assumed that she was on vacation or couldn’t get to the phone. I left her a message and was anxious to realize she had not responded for a couple of days. Today me and my parents researched online and found the news report. I am very sad to hear this news, I will always be very greatful for Jane and I pray that she is at peace 🤍

There is a beautiful Portuguese word to describe what I feel when I walk in nature without you.  The word is "saudades,"  the presence of absence. Yet, dear friend,  I converse with you within my mind as we admire the beauty that surrounds us.
You remain with me forever my dear friend.

Oh Jane, I wrote to you yesterday and noticed this morning that you had not replied which is unusual since you always reply quickly even if just to say you will write more later in the day.  Learning of your loss is heartbreaking.   You are the kindest and most insightful person I know.   I will miss our talks more than I can even express.  So often when we talked you were walking on the trails that surround the water you loved so much.  Our conversations were often deep and meaningful  but then we both usually ended with silly conversation about your kitties and my puppy.  I miss you already.  I have lost a wonderful friend but you will live on in my memory.  I hear your voice.  I will never forget you.   Love, Susan


     I think that the operant word is attachment, selfless attachment.   Jane was attached to people, many people:  friends, relatives, the people she worked with as a psychologist, profoundly, without reservation, without limitation of time.   
     She was very private, she did not disclose her inner life, at least to me or to anyone in my immediate family.   I wonder what it was like.   I wonder how she found room for herself in time and space.  I wonder what part reading played in her life, what it meant to her.   She reread Proust once a year.  What does it mean for someone to be so imbued with literature?   What did that mean for her inner life?  I have the notion that she wrote in secret, not showing her writings to anyone; I wonder if writings will turn up, or perhaps she did not write.  I struggle to understand such a private person.   
     My first memory of Jane is her mother, my sister Nina, calling to tell me that she just had a baby.  I remember her as a toddler, our playing a game.  I would lie down on a bed and she would push imaginary “buttons” on me, leading to an arm or a leg rising up into the air.  My father loved her as only he could love; he would inquire as to how his Janeicle (spelling? the name never appeared in writing) was doing.     
   My contact with Jane during the last few years was centered around her supervising me as I tried to help some of my late brother David’s grandchildren.   By supervising I mean helping me understand how children function and how best to help them.   She was merciless, not passing over any untoward behavior on my part.   Her knowledge of psychology was profound, and her ability to put that knowledge to practical use was astonishing.   
     The thought of her death having resulted from perhaps her greatest indulgence, taking long walks in the woods, is unbearable.  Jane was a pure soul and her existence made the world better.


My family and I are devastated by the passing of Jane. She was a true light in our lives for many years. We met her about 17 years ago and have benefitted over the years from her advice, strategies, kindness, empathy, and intelligence on various levels. I considered Jane a true friend and trusted her completely. I am so very sorry for her loved ones for her passing, as they too have lost such a wonderful and loving woman.  Miss Jane will be remembered to my children- when they were younger- for the nature walks she took them on while talking. This meant so much, and was so special. We will forever be changed positively by Jane.  I miss you so much and thank you for having been in our lives. 

Jane, I think of you everyday, and I miss you and I love you.  I wish I could post a better picture of you, but the one I posted is the only one I have of you smiling. Thank you for being so compassionate, caring, and devoted to me during our 23 year psychologist/patient relationship. I will keep you in my heart always.  Love,  Abbe



Dear Amy, Please accept my sincere condolences for the loss of your beloved cousin. May your wonderful memories of Jane bring you comfort. I was a patient of Jane for 23 years. Not only was she a caring and devoted therapist, but she and I also developed a friendship. We talked about how we would be able to socialize one year after she retired due to rules in relation to her license to practice counseling. I was devastated when I learned of Jane's passing. She died on a Saturday, and I was supposed to have a Facetime appointment with her the following Monday. I knew something was terribly wrong when she didn't contact me through Facetime, and she wasn't returning my frantic calls. I learned of Jane's passing on Tuesday, when my son suggested that I should contact her colleague, who shared office space with Jane. Her colleague gently broke the news to me of Jane's passing, and I was inconsolable. I would greatly appreciate if you could let me know where Jane is buried. I also would like to know her Hebrew name so I can use it when I say Kaddish for her. I have already said Kaddish twice using her English name, but it would be more meaningful to me if I could have her Hebrew name added to the Yahrzeit list at my conservative synagogue. If anyone reading this has a good picture of Jane, please post it on this site. Amy, please contact me at abbem88@outlook.com. I hope to hear from you soon. May Jane's memory be a blessing.  Abbe Sherman Morrongiello

Abbe Sherman Morrongiello

I’ve always looked up to Jane. I have such fond memories of visiting Jane & Emily in NYC where I loved running up & down the hallway from kitchen to living room and just being with my older girl cousins! I was head over heels when they invited me to Point Lookout by myself. I also have special memories of playing with Jane & Emily at their grandparents’ Westport home! I adored playing with them in the little backyard house! While I was at Harvard, Jane took such good care of me! We’d talk for hours until I’d realize that I’d better get back to studying. As adults, we became close when Andy and I moved back to MA. Until we moved to Baltimore in 2014, we would meet for a long walk, dinner at some obscure restaurant between MA & RI, or to visit the cats when Noah was little. Jane loved that Noah could match each cat with their name (all 9). Andy & I so appreciated that Jane took such an interest in Noah over the years. More recently, Jane & I started a tradition (particularly since SP 2020, Pandemic) of speaking about every 3 weeks for at least an hour on a Sat/Sun morning!! Jane was often out on one of her weekend walks. Sometimes I would text Jane about a friend needing a therapist and she always come through with the perfect therapist. It is hard to capture just how easy it was for us to talk, share, reminisce. Jane & I had a warmth, love for each other that was deeply tied to our mothers’ (Judith & Nina) friendship! In August 2021, Jane helped us surprise Noah for his 30th bday & came up to NH to visit with the Pearlmans & meet Noah’s partner, Markie! Last summer, Jane joined us for my birthday--it was such a special night overlooking the RI shore; gorgeous sunset; delicious food & lots of love. The last time we hung out was in Burlington, VT.  Jane & I walked along Lake Champlain, took a late afternoon swim. We had a memorable dinner at a Burlington’s brewery. I will forever remember Jane, our conversations, & the way I always felt cared for by Jane! Love, Amy




Our family is devastated to learn of Jane’s death.  She worked with and guided our family through intense and turbulent times. She was compassionate, intelligent, and gifted in her ability to relate to kids.  My only comfort is knowing how lucky we were to have her in our lives for so many years and in appreciating the lifelong  skills she helped my son develop.  We miss her terribly.

My family and I are devastated. This loss can not be quantified with words. Jane was our rock, she is single-handedly responsible for keeping our family together. To say we will miss her doesn’t do her justice. She was a beautiful soul and the most loving, nurturing provider anyone could ask for. Twenty years we worked with her. May she Rest In Peace. 

My heart is broken with the news of Jane.  Ihave been a patient of hers for 17 years which became a wonderful friendship.  We both adored animals which made the friendship even stronger.  She helped me through the most tragic times in my life and always was there.  She tought me how to deal with many issues.  Jane was the most compassionate person I ever met.  I never will forger her.
Thank you Jane.

So very sorry to hear about this. I was a client of hers about 23 years ago. I’ll always remember her for her huge heart and her kindness. And also for letting me make a mess in the kitchen without getting upset. She touched my life and I will never forget her. 

She was like a best friend to me. She knew me since I was 5. I will miss her a lot. There are so many things I wish I had said to her before she passed. She was an amazing person. One of the nicest people I have ever met.

Jane and I worked together during our internship at Brookline Community Mental Health Center in 1991-92.  She was a kind soul.  We shared a couple of families together - she worked with the female child and I with the male.  She made the work fun and collaborative.  

Jane, I will miss your warmth and smile and your sense of humor.  

May your loved ones continue to feel your love. 

Chris Pagano

Jane and I became fast friends at age 11. She remained my beloved friend ever since. When I think of Jane, what stands out is her amazing capacity to form steadfast friendships with people she met at summer camp, high school, college, grad school and every workplace. She didn’t lose friends; they remained active in her life until she died. Jane was generous, loyal and kind. Her ethical compass was outstanding. I don’t want her memory to dim. I am trying to keep her present in my mind. I am deriving such comfort from talking to her friends right now, including a few I’m meeting for the first time.


I will miss my dear friend Jane more than words can express.
We would walk or hike for hours.  She loved being in nature, no
matter what the weather held in store.  She loved her cats for which I am grateful to her sister Emily having adopted and taken them into her heart and home.
I miss her so very much, she was my true friend.

Jane was a truly genuine person.Her love for the outdoors and her caring for animals especially her cats gave her the greatest joy in her life.She will be greatly missed by everyone who knew her.




                       

Jane has been a dear friend to me for over 25 years. She was the kindest person you could know. She loved nature and her cats greatly. Family meant a lot to her and her patients who she treated. She would walk for hours hiking. Would do anything for anyone in need. 

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Jane Finkelstein

10 mai 1955 – 5 février 2023

Sugarman Sinai Memorial Chapel

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