Jay attended public schools in Rochester and graduated from Wheaton College in Norton, Massachusetts. After graduation she moved to New York City to help start the first demonstration nursery school at the New York Institute for the Blind. After a year, she returned home to work for Dr. Benjamin Spock at the Mayo Clinic.
On October 21, 1950 , Jay married Dr. Wilbourn Coupery Shands, a surgical resident at the Mayo Clinic. While they were in Rochester they had their first daughter, Susan. While Coup completed a fellowship at MD Anderson, their second daughter, Nancy was born. In 1954, they moved to Jackson for Coup to join the Surgical Clinic.
Jay embraced life in the south where she was an active member of the community. She loved life and all the people she met along the way. For 64 years, she was a member of Galloway United Methodist Church, where she taught Sunday School, was a member of the Pillars Sunday School class and volunteered at Brown School, Grace Place and Vacation Bible School. She was part of the original Galloway Group that started Stewpot Ministries. Jay was a member of the Junior League of Jackson, The Woodland Hills Garden Club and several luncheon and bridge clubs. She was the president of the YWCA Board in the 1960's where she participated in “Wednesdays In Mississippi”, which promoted racial reconciliation. She was also very active in all of her 4 daughters' school and sports activities.
Jay loved being active. She enjoyed yearly ski trips with her brother Sandy, and various grandchildren. She played tennis well into her eighties. She would go anywhere you wanted to go and have the best time of all. Every year, she and Coup hosted a beach trip, affectionately known as Camp Perdido, for the extended family.
In 1977, Coup suffered a stroke and Jay became his primary caregiver for the next 26 years. She insisted they keep on going and provided wonderful care for Coup. Jay was a great mother and mentor to her grandchildren that loved her dearly.
Jay is predeceased by her parents, and her sister, Helen Keith Kling. She is survived by her brother, Sandy Keith (Marion) and her four daughters; Susan Shands Jones, Nancy Shands Studdard (John),
Janet Keith Shands (Pearl), and Elizabeth Shands Henninger (Hal).She is also survived by 7 grandchildren; Keith Shands Studdard, Liz Studdard White (Rick), Emily Coupery Stephenson (Jud), Philip Shands Henninger( Laura Beth), Eric Allen Henninger, Halli Elizabeth Henninger, and Robert Shawn Sims (Jean Aw), and 3 great grandchildren.
Visitation will be from 9:30 to 11 on Saturday, October 27 at Galloway Church. The service will follow at 11 and then there will be a private burial at Greenwood Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be made to Galloway United Methodist Church, 305 North Congress Street , Jackson, Ms, 39201 or a favorite charity.
