Kong Huat Henry Goh

Henry was the kindest, most supportive father, grandfather, and friend one could wish for; the most gentle and giving man we know with abundant love and caring heart, a giant and great role model to all of us; a rock for the family with his strength, wisdom and perseverance; he and Ma were and continue to be such solid pillars for our family, both loved everyone unconditionally and unselfishly; a giving, thoughtful, loving father, grandfather, husband, uncle, neighbor, friend - so many roles in life and he excelled in them all.

It would have been easy for him to be cynical given his difficult early life--his mother became the family’s sole provider when his father abandoned them to fare for themselves. Instead, Henry became the most unselfish gentleman, someone who “never gives up” and built an everlasting legacy with his beautiful wife, Yap. I remember his passion for the Lottery. His wish was to win the “big one” and split it equally among all his children and grandchildren, as his gift to help each and everyone. He had his “numbers”--birthdays, anniversaries, other dates that he was sure would one day payoff. He didn’t win it, but didn’t need to because his gift to all of us was “him”. [F.G]

In 1986, he came to Boston (with Yap) and I met him for the very first time. He did not know me (at all)...yet was warm and welcoming. He was also very well read on world events and world history and showed me immediately that he had a great sense of humor and loved to have a good laugh. I mentioned to Agnes yesterday....I feel she inherited ALL of his good qualities; loyal, dignified, all about family, resourceful, determined, resilient, caring, loving and TOUGH when it was time to be TOUGH. He accepted me right into the family in 1986 and treated me like his own son for 31 years. I loved him more than my words can even express. He has left a wonderful legacy, and he will always be ever present in our lives. He was a force. [F.C.]

One of my fondest memories of Pa was when I came across a photo of him with his Field Hockey Team. He had an intimidating look, just as all his teammates did with their eye catching hockey uniform and gear. Pa was quite an avid sportsman teaching all his kids (boys and girls), Ma and other neighbourhood kids, how to play Field Hockey, the real Football (using your foot), ping pong, badminton and tennis (these last two were Ma’s sports and she did not hold back in showing him the right way.) Having seen that Hockey photo, I knew that it was in our blood to do well at that sport and when I made the St. John’s Team, he was so proud and supportive that in my eyes he was the Team’s #1 fan, showing up at every game (most of the time rushing from his work for the early afternoon games) and joining in the chant “SJI” loud and clear. Win or lose, he was always positive and encouraged fairness (the better team won) on the car ride home. In 1976, I was accepted to a College in California. Without any hesitation, he was the first to say, “you got to go for it, and don’t worry, we will find a way to support you,” and he certainly did. This decision opened up the trail for future generations of his family to be in the USA; he later shared with me that this was one of his ambitious dreams from his years of working and being good friends with many Exxon Expats. [J.G.]

Pa we will miss you very much and you will always be in our heart. Thank you for the wonderful life you led and provided. Thank you for looking out for all of us. Your legacy will live on through generations. You have been, you are, and will always be our HERO!! It's hard to let you go but we know that Ma was waiting for you with open arms. We miss you both and you will be with us everyday, forever. You can finally be at rest and be with the love of your life!! We love you very much!!

Henry leaves us to join his lifetime partner and our mother Yap in Heaven, leaving his family of 19: sons Tarci, Joe, Francis, Mike, and Frank; daughters Cyn, Rose, Agnes, Mikyong and Irma; grandchildren Ben, Pat, Alex, Andrew, Edmund, David, Brandon, Peter, and Alyssa, plus countless other lives he touched and changed because he accepted and loved them. To him, we are all his family.

Timeline:

March 3, 1922: born in Malaysia. Raised by his mother, Mrs. Lim Sae Bee, together with his older brother and sister. He didn’t tell us much about his young days, but we gather it was a very difficult time for the family.

1929-1936: at 7 years old, Henry moves to Taiping, Malaysia for school. He remains there until he is 14 years old, about the time someone would be in Junior High School here. Many people started work after High School back then, but there was little work to be found in Taiping at the time. So after finishing High School, he moves to Kuala Lumpur to live with his uncle.

1939: at 17, Henry moves to Singapore to serve in the Air Force as an “Airplane Technician”. Thus began Henry’s career in the oil and gas industry, starting from scratch and learning on the job. Eventually, he is promoted to Aircraft Refueling Supervisor.

1942-1945, WWII: Henry tells the story of watching Japanese planes flying over his airfield when the invasion began, and the Allies have few planes to fight back as parts are in short supply and many planes are still packed in crates at his airport. Henry and Yap’s simple and happy life is interrupted with Japan’s invasion. With the surrender of Singapore, Henry becomes a prisoner of war and is shipped to Japan. This begins one of the most painful chapters in his life as he endures 3 long years in Japanese concentration camps. And yet, he never held a grudge against any Japanese person after the war.

1945-1946: At the end of the war, liberated POWs are given their choice of taking a ship or plane to wherever, and Henry talks of how he could have ended up in England if he had chosen to follow his fellow British POWs returning home. He decides to return to his family in Singapore, and he begins his post-war career, starting at Esso as a salesman who supplies petrol/gas to gas stations. He soon proves himself and moves up to a management position.

1947-1949: Meets “the love of his life”. His life is forever changed when he meets Yap, short for Bibiana Lian-Yap Law, a teacher. A romance and many good meals (Ma was an excellent cook) later, and using his fancy motorcycle to woo her, they marry on April 25, 1949.

1950-1983: In love, the family grew by 7 children. Busy, crowded, bustling household, kids everywhere, it isn’t easy to care for so many. But by working long hours and building savings they are finally able to buy their first house. That house soon becomes the neighborhood go-to place as everyone young and old comes to know Henry & Yap. Always giving and always working hard this couple helped and supported many more than just their 7 children.

1984-1995: Henry and Yap visit and attend their children’s marriages in the USA. Eventually, they decide to move to California. They help raise their grandchildren one after another, Boston to Granada Hills to Corona to Houston to Seattle and around again and again as more grandchildren are born.

1996: Henry and Yap become US citizens. Sadly, Yap passes away a short time later after a valiant struggle with cancer.

1997-2016: Henry dedicates this time to all his children and grandchildren, celebrating every birthday and attending almost every graduation as each grandchild grew up. He chooses to live independently in Corona, California, while keeping close ties to family and neighborhood friends. As the years go by, Henry outlives all his siblings. He faces his medical issues with dignity, strength and perseverance, recovering from heart surgery, overcoming cancer. His fighting spirit never ceases...the “fighter” in him that we have all come to admire.

2017: Henry passed away on January 26, at the age of 94.

More Special moments/memories:

★ Glazed doughnuts and coffee.

★ Politics, he loved talking about politics.

★ Judge Judy.

★ Cops: “Bad Boys, Bad Boys, watcha gonna do when they come for you”. He used to sing the theme song to his grandchildren.

★ Watching football and cheering for the team of the person he was with.

★ “What’s going on there MAN!”

★ Lily, our pet dog that followed him, and not just because of all the snacks he fed her.

★ Failing his CA driving test...long story.

★ “Birdie birdie where's your nest? In the woods in the woods I love best.” Pa sang this song with so much tenderness and love to the kids when they were young.

★ He loved fishing but didn't like to eat the fish. Ma and the rest of us did!

★ Loved just loved his smile and laughter.

★ His many orchids hanging in his first home. Orchids everywhere, the kids just kept breaking his pots while playing, he just kept on growing them.

★ The day Pa saw a car park on the spot where our dog Samson was buried, and Pa bought the license plate number and won the 4-digit lottery.

★ He had the recipe down for 3-minute eggs.

★ He always helped around the house; washing up after every meal to allow the kids to focus on their “studies”.

★ I always wondered why he woke up before the sun came up just to read the newspapers! He certainly kept up with all the world events and his long-term memory was infallible.

★ We were at the movies watching a National Geographic clip, and during one of the scenes when a predator was about to pounce from a tree onto some unsuspecting victim, he loudly shouts, “shoo, shooooo; and Ma made sure she always reminded him about that embarrassing moment.

★ He loved Nani Ene’s burritos.

★ His cartoon character birthday cards.

★ His collection of rocks from the many places visited; each personally engraved with the location and date.

★ His clocks to track the correct time zone where he had a son/daughter.

★ His creative and simple but effective home security system.

★ His story about the mail order “ant killers”; two bricks!

★ Ma and Pa loved to sing, “When you wished upon a star …” and “Sing your way home …” to entertain Andrew on the trips to Ma’s Chemo. Pa would lovingly make sure he brought some food so Ma could eat on these trips or they would stop at the Hainan Malaysian restaurant on the way home for her curry laksa and ice kachang. He was always there for her.