Pearle S. Carpel

My mom was born Pearl Samet in Brooklyn NY in 1915 to her parents Morris and Mollie Samet. Mom had an older sister May, and a younger sister Evie with whom she shared a bed as a child, and later a brief career as a professional dancer. Hard to believe, but Mom was considered the quiet, demure one of the three sisters. She loved song and dance. In the Brighton Beach neighborhood where they lived, she was surrounded by her loving, extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins with whom she remained close throughout her life.

My mother loved her father but worshiped her mother. It was Mollie that provided the safety and security that the girls needed, even working as a riveter during the war to support the family. My mom sought out a husband with the same qualities as her mother, and found them when she met my father Joe, a kind, generous man and good provider who gave my mother a great life for 23 years. Ours was a happy home, and among my earliest memories are hearing my mom belt out Gershwin tunes like she was Ethel Merman.

Because of the closeness she felt toward her mother, Mom badly wanted to have a daughter. But alas it was not to be. At three year intervals, my mother gave birth to 3 boys. After the last one, Mom complained to a friend “only a freak has 3 boys!”, and was so depressed she went to bed for a week. Boy behavior was completely foreign to my mother and at times appalling. She did not warm easily or quickly to her new role.

But ironically, my mother found her calling in being something she never aspired to. And when my father died and left her a widow at 51 with 3 teenagers, raising the three of us became her mission. Life without my father was not easy. For the sake of her boys, Mom tried to keep his business going. But without him, the business was easy prey for their competitors. After that, Mom had to carefully manage her money. Yet she put all three of us through college, and helped us financially at critical times, even when her advisors said she should not.

What Mom tried to teach us, through her example and numerous discussions, was to be a mensch. Essentially a mensch is yiddish for someone of good character who takes their responsibilities seriously. To my mom, a mensch is simply someone that family and friends can count on. She had strong views about this and never shrank from her responsibility to counsel us. Her advice was direct and unfailingly honest. We didn’t always follow it, but usually regretted it when we didn’t.

My mother also had amazing inner strength. Despite the adversity she faced in life, she remained strong and always looked forward. For the past five years Mom was confined to a wheelchair with poor vision and hearing, yet never complained. She always reported that she felt fine, even during the last difficult weeks.

My mother was in certain respects a reserved woman who seldom used the word love. As much as she liked to talk, I’m sure she believed that talk is cheap when it comes to love, and that actions speak louder than words. But she truly loved her entire extended family and special friends. You should know that the people here today were enormously important to Mom and that she asked about you all the time.

Death Notice:

PEARLE S. CARPEL

On Saturday, August 28, 2010, Pearle S. Carpel, of Silver Spring, Maryland. Beloved wife of the late Joseph M. Carpel; devoted mother of Gilbert (Claudia) Carpel, Andrew (Shurron) Carpel and Bruce (Connie) Carpel; dear aunt of Suellen Kaye and Sheldon Pittleman; cherished grandmother of 8 and great-grandmother of 4; also survived by other loving family and friends.

Funeral services and interment will be private.

Family will receive friends Monday and Tuesday evenings at the residence of Gil and Claudia Carpel. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in Pearle's memory may be made to your favorite charity.

Arrangements under the direction of Danzansky-Goldberg Memorial Chapels, Inc., 1170 Rockville Pike, Rockville, MD 20852, 301-340-1400.