Mrs. Carmen Elsie Richardson Ross

A force am I, not just an entity.

We move from life to life in many shells

No special planet claims me. I am free.

My body wore the elements of earth

I contracted this form with mortal birth.

Accepted burdens, chose my family

Who always thought the form they lost as "me."

We reach to you. Your prayers reach through the sky

Not in this frozen earth your parents lie

But in dimension's great with broader view

We are with him, who also cares for you.

With lessons new, and free of earthly strife

And peace denied us in our mortal life

Your tears are falling on yon sacred ground.

We walk in joy who laid those burdens down.

A poem Carmen wrote about her parents who are buried in a little cemetery in Edmonton. It's a message from the parents to the children.

Everyone's life can be seen as the sum total of all of the people they have met, the things they have done, the places they have gone. Mrs. Carmen Elsie Ross was loved, a friend, and someone special. To family and friends who knew her best, Carmen will be remembered as a truly exceptional and loving person. She was someone who always put others first, unbelievably kind, and generous to a fault.

She felt it was her responsibility to always help others that were less fortunate than herself, and spent an entire lifetime working towards that goal. Always looking out for the young and weak, she had a special love for children and animals. She did everything in her power to help others in need, and those less fortunate than herself. She always had a smile and a kind word for everyone. She will be dearly missed by all who knew and loved her.

Carmen's life journey began on January 10, 1927, born Elsie Eileen Richardson. She was known as Elsie growing up, and first greeted the world in Lashburn Saskatchewan, Canada. On January 29 1951, she changed her name to Carmen Elsie Ross. Her parents names were Annie Beatrice Compton, and Henry Richardson. She grew up in Canada in Lashburn Saskatchewan on a farm and later moved to Edson Alberta during her High School years. Growing up for Carmen was an involving experience. It allowed her to learn and grow, and create all kinds of memories.

Her life was shaped by how she was raised. Growing up on a farm the family worked hard to grow their own produce, they also had chickens and livestock. Like many Canadian farmers they had plenty to eat but little money. She was raised with four siblings. Her sisters names were Isabel and Norah. Her brothers were George and Ron. They went to school in a small one room school and in the winter she often spoke of skiing to school. One winter she earned an additional allowance by getting to school early and lighting the fire to warm the room before the other students arrived. She got along well with all her siblings, and they were often involved in all sorts of activities together. She and her siblings shared many life experiences over the years. Carmen's grandparents were Hannah Smith, and George Richardson. Carmen was also close to other relatives as well; Carmen or Elsie's extended Canadian family included, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins.

As a young girl, Carmen had a number of interests. She was curious about the world around her and was often eager to explore it. Because her family were farmers they had many responsibilities that went along with that. It frequently snowed where she grew up, and so the kids would often ski and play snow games. She was also active in church activities. A number of things caught her interest, such as reading and writing, and she also played the violin.

In school, Carmen was very popular and made many friends. Carmen managed to accomplish many things as a child, both in and out of the classroom. One of Carmen's (or Elsie as her school friends knew her) biggest accomplishments during this time was being an honor student, and she also was the top of her class in primary school. However, to Carmen, the most fun to be had was simply playing and spending time with her family. Because she lived on a farm far from other children she mainly played with her siblings, and the family always had dogs as pets. Carmen also went on occasional family trips during her childhood, often traveling to her cousins lake house for holidays. In all, Carmen grew up surrounded by family who cared about her very much.

Many things change when a person becomes old enough to go to high school; Carmen was no different. Her family moved off the farm and into Edson, a small town in Alberta Canada when she became a teenager. She was a typical teenager who had a happy high school experience, making that critical transition from adolescence to adulthood. She graduated from Edson H.S. Because her school was so small, she also took classes by correspondence course. English and Math were the classes she liked the most, but she also took Latin and French. Carmen tried to be involved in a number of different activities, both in and out of school, during these years. She was involved in church activities and also school played with her friend Walter Kassa.

The teen years weren't only about school, and when Carmen and her friends got together they would often go ice skating, and she loved to play her violin. Carmen also enjoyed other social aspects of her high school years. She was engaged to Don Hardy, but Don wanted to live on a farm whereas Carmen wanted to go to nursing school and work in the city, so they broke off their engagement.

Carmen learned a lot about responsibility back then. She first entered the work force when she got a job as a waitress at a café, and sometimes had to fill in as a “short order cook.” She also loved to babysit for family friends. There were other types of responsibility as well, and she was involved in the Church community during her high school years.

After high school, her next big step was Lamont Nursing School in Alberta Canada, where she lived in a dorm. How someone reacts to freedom and responsibility shows a great deal about their character, and the person they will become. Carmen enjoyed nursing school, but they were also hard years. The rules were very strict and she worked long hours. Though it was a challenge with all of the academics and responsibilities, she was able to manage the balancing act at nursing school. She focused on her studies and also found whole new horizons to explore. Medicine was a field of study she was interested in all her life. Though awards weren't the reason she worked so hard, Carmen was recognized for her efforts and graduated in the top of her class. Studying was something she enjoyed and was good at.

Just as in high school, nursing school was more than just going to classes and learning. Education went beyond the classroom, and Carmen lived and worked on the school grounds next to the hospital. She especially liked working in the Obstetrics ward with the babies.

She shared this time of her life with a number of people, some of whom would eventually become very close friends. The girlfriends she made in nursing school were people she kept in contact with her entire life, often writing and receiving long letters from all of them. She studied and worked long hours and made many lifetime friends.

Falling in love is a huge milestone for any person. Just knowing that you have met that special someone is a magical feeling. Carmen experienced that with Earl Ross.

Carmen exchanged wedding vows with Earl on August 14, 1950.

On March 17, 1955 Carmen was blessed when her first child was born. Born on St. Patrick's Day, she named her Gaile Isabel Ross. On New Years Eve the following year a second daughter was born, her name was Pearl Katharine Ross.

Empathic and loyal, Carmen was committed to making her new family happy. It is true that during those early years the couple lived modestly, but they were happy nonetheless. Their first residence was in Vancouver British Columbia. In their first house her in-laws lived upstairs, taking care of the children while she was at work.

It can be said that you can tell a lot about a person by their friends, and she had many, both in Canada and the US. The family immigrated to the US in 1959 and settled in San Diego. Although she worked full time as a nurse during these years she was also very involved with the neighbors and in her children's school. She went to all the PTA meetings and got to know all the teachers well. She told one story of visiting the school when they first arrived, and a teacher asking her how people lived in Canada, what type of houses they lived in, and even asked her to “speak Canadian” so the children could hear the foreign language.

On Oct. 29th 1960 in San Diego her family was blessed with the birth of there first son, they named him Walter McIvor Ross.

On October 22, 1965 Carmen and Earl became naturalized citizens of their new country, the United States of America.

Carmen was a woman who took pride in upholding her beliefs, so it's little wonder that she took an active role in her neighborhood and community. She spent many years attending the Episcopal Church with her children. She also volunteered in her children's schools. Reading and writing was a passion for her and she often offered to help other's children learn to read. When she felt her son Walter was not learning to read in his school, she removed him from school and home taught him where he quickly learned to read. Carmen was also a liberal Democrat and donated to many like minded charities. This was something she continued to do her entire life.

In 1965, Earl started a new job in Los Angeles at ABC television and the family moved from San Diego. They settled in Glendale CA. and continued to live there after Earl retired.

At the age of 42, Carmen was blessed with the birth of twins. Claire Elizabeth and Michael Earl Ross were born on Easter Sunday 1968.

While everything a person does in life contributes to who they become, it is ultimately this same person who holds the most influence on the next generation. Carmen worked hard to be a good mother to her children and she did her best to fulfill their needs. Carmen was blessed with five children, Gaile, Pearl, Walter, Claire, and Michael. She worked hard toward raising her children in a positive and nurturing environment. Their house was large and always full of children and friends. Carmen's children also enjoyed the company of pets, some of these included dogs, cats, hamsters, Guinea Pigs, and even a raccoon.

Carmen enjoyed traveling and time away on vacations. It was a chance for her to renew and relax, to visit new places and experience new things. She loved trips to Hawaii, Europe, Alaska, and family summer vacations when the kids were young to "Far Horizons" in Kings Canyon National Park. She also enjoyed occasional family reunions in Canada with her large extended family.

Carmen was blessed with the gift of six grandchildren, Alan Henderson, Renee Henderson, Katie Ross, Michelle Ross, Julia Ross and Alex Ross. She also has one great-grandchild, Kaylyn Henderson.

How a person performs in the workplace can be a reflection on how they live their life. Fortunately, Carmen enjoyed what she did for a living. Showing a strong work ethic, Carmen worked diligently and did her best to succeed in each of her jobs. While she worked several jobs over her life, Carmen's primary occupation was working as Registered Nurse. Her first nursing job was in Vancouver at the Children's Hospital. She also worked at Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital and in hospitals in and around Glendale Ca. Probably the most unique or interesting job Carmen ever held was at a psychiatric hospital.

Carmen always sought to be a team player, doing what was necessary in order to get the job done. Though Carmen didn't work for accolades, she was repeatedly recognized for a job well done.

A person's hobbies often mirror who they have become. Like all people, Carmen had her favorite things in life. Carmen enjoyed her leisure time by taking part in a number of different activities, including writing poetry and stories. She loved to write and could often be seen working away on her typewriter. She loved the outdoors, especially the mountains, nature and all things that grow. She loved to garden and always had a vegetable patch and flowers growing around the house.

She loved the mornings, always up early with her cup of coffee to watch the sunrise over the mountains in Glendale. She loved the smell of pine trees, and being surrounded by her children and grandchildren. She loved to walk, especially to see trees and flowers.

She loved all children and was always wondering if she could do something for them. She spent her spare time volunteering both in schools and at home teaching children to read. She developed a system to provide others with the techniques she used to help children to read, and often found her nursing skills helped her to find root causes as to why children were having trouble, including hearing, nutrition, or vision problems. She was a member of a senior citizens group for 3 years that volunteered in the Burbank public schools.

She was always willing to share her interests with others. She loved learning new things. She adored family and would do anything for them. She loved to talk on the phone and visit with friends. She loved the church and all things spiritual and mystical. She loved beautiful things but almost never bought them for herself. She could afford to buy fancy clothes and jewelry but she never did, much preferring to spend her money helping others in need. She was always doing things for others, it's really what she lived for. She loved reading just about everything, books were her favorite and she had many, but also news magazines and newspapers. She was very interested in new medical discoveries, politics and religious ideas.

When it came to entertainment, Carmen enjoyed a number of things including music, the ballet, concerts and classical music. She loved to dance with her husband Earl and did so quite well. She never drank alcohol, as a vegetarian she enjoyed good food. Carmen sometimes enjoyed sports and athletics. She loved to watch ice-skating, especially the during the "Winter Olympics."

A person's faith says a great deal about them and Carmen's faith was important to her. She was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church. When the twins Michael and Claire were born she became interested in other religions, but later in her life returned to the church of her childhood. She was also a member of the Theosophical Society and was fascinated and intrigued her entire life by all things spiritual including Free Masonry and reincarnation.

Life was not always easy for Carmen, in 1980 her daughter Pearl suffered a massive stroke and almost died. She spent many years helping her to recover and become a productive member of society again. She also fought and won a personal battle with breast cancer. She was convinced that eating the right foods combined with help from the best doctors would help her get through this difficult time. She found and read everything she could find on the subject and her nursing experience also helped her become a survivor. She was often heard saying, "cancer is a curable disease."

Once retired from nursing, she managed an apartment building she owned in Glendale for a number of years. She organized parties and events for the tenants. If they couldn't pay the rent or feed their kids she was always willing to find an odd job to help them out. She felt it was her social responsibility to take care of people who had less than she did, even if it meant buying them groceries. She always put others first.

Both Earl and Carmen retired first to Ventura County, and then San Diego County. In Ventura County she spent much of her time taking care of her husband who was sick but always had time to feed the birds in her backyard every morning. She felt a special closeness to her flocks of birds, and loved them dearly.

Carmen was active in her community and felt fulfilled with the opportunities retirement offered her. She was very interested in politics. She won an award for her poetry in 1996. In retirement Carmen continued to stay in touch with her old friends while making plenty of new ones. During these golden years, Carmen also had other, smaller friends, including her birds and her dogs.

She eventually moved to San Diego County with Earl to be closer to family. Earl's health was failing, and he needed more help than she alone could provide. Earl passed away in January of 2005. After living alone for a year she had a stroke and moved in with her daughter Gaile and son-in-law Glenn. She lived in their home for the last 3 years of her life. Her memory was failing her, and so she rarely went anywhere without her wonderful caregivers and her little dog Sushi. She was happy during these later years, always expressing gratitude for the kindness shown to her by others. She loved parties and family get-togethers, and will always be remembered for her joyful smile.

Carmen Ross left us on March 27th 2011. She passed away at home, aged 84. She was preceded in death by husband Earl Ross and daughter Pearl Ross. Her sister Norah and brother Ron, her 4 children, Gaile Larkman, Walter Ross, Claire Ross and Michael Ross and her 6 grandchildren Alan Henderson, Renee Henderson, Katie Ross, Michelle Ross, Julia Ross, and Alex Ross, and one great-granddaughter Kaylyn Henderson survive her. Services were at All Souls Episcopal Church. Carmen was laid to rest at All Souls Episcopal Church in Point Loma.

So this is Carmen's life, the sum of the woman that she became. Simply stated, Carmen was an incredibly good hearted and kind person, an individual who will for all time be remembered by her family and friends as being caring and giving, and someone who was a vital part of their lives. Carmen leaves behind her a legacy of lifelong friendships and many cherished memories. Everyone whose life Mrs. Carmen Elsie Ross touched will always remember her with a smile.

Some of Carmen's poetry is included below...

A CASE FOR TELEPATHY, by Carmen Ross, written in 1982

My guardian angel watched my crib,

And looking down she smiled,

It is decreed that this shall be

A most loquacious child.

Her words will make you laugh or cry,

Her words will soothe, or stab.

The use of them is up to her

She has the gift of gab.

They say I really held the floor

Sitting up in my high chair

The prairie warmed up ten degrees

With all that free hot air.

My teachers said they'd box my ears

And recesses I lost

But still I babbled on and on

However great the cost.

My mother gave 10 raisins

Every moment I'd shut up

I never earned enough that year

To even fill a cup.

No hostess ever asks me back.

No doctor sees me twice

But yet I babble on and on,

However great the price.

I talked once on the radio,

I have a lot to say

I offer grand opinions

On each thing that comes my way.

Why is it, when I need them most,

I have no words to say?

A friend has lost her child,

A phone call would be kind.

Why does no sane or single sentence

Ever cross my mind?

A man I know has left his wife

And she is so alone

I know I ought to write a note

At least I ought to phone.

One frend has eyesight failing

One friend is worried sick

I should invite them out to lunch

(Why is my head so thick?)

One friend has wayward children

Who are really out of reach.

One friend has a retarded child

That nobody can teach.

My heart is open reaching out

My care for them is real

But not a single word I find

To say the things I feel.

To know some words to heal, to sooth,

Is still an unreached goal

Still unexpressed are all the things

Locked deep inside my soul.

I just keep spouting trivia

I hope perhaps one day

I'll learn the skills to tell my friends

The things I want to say.

SUNRISE IN SAN DIEGO, by Carmen Ross

Peach apricot aglow

With burning violet flame

That melts to whisper of a rose

That breathes a Sacred name

Pale green on the horizon's edge

Where orange shadows melt and burn

The blues have changed to waves of gold

Could Man such beauty earn?

It is the day! The gift of days!

With darkness left behind

The songbirds swell in waves of joy

Alerting all mankind

O Loving One, who bids the cloud

And bird to give a message sweet

Let me with joy and light respond

A triangle complete.

CAMPING WITH CHILDREN, by Carmen Ross Written about "Far Horizons" campground in Kings Canyon National Park.

A flash of yellow sparkling through the trees

Where goldfinch chase each other in the sun

Some spider spun a jeweled gossamer

And through the spruce some fairy lines have strung.

And here a lyric songbird found the note

To blend with music from some rushing creek

And I am overcome with all this joy

Silent, and streching, with no word to speak

The smell of smoke and pine have intertwined

To make perfume heady with delight

The mountain robes itself in misty pink

To warn the forest of the coming night

Three little wood nymphs gather round the flames

And each a piece of roasting corn now claims

Move over lovely things, my heart has room

For one pink tiny manzanita bloom