Mrs. Helen J Silva

“Seeing is believing.” For many, those words simply represent a motto. But for Mrs. Helen J Silva, it summarized in every way who she was. She was modest, quiet and observant, taking in everything around her and always thinking before acting. She was a realist, someone who was efficient and practical in everything she did. She was a friendly person who truly cared about those around her.

She was the daughter of John and Mary Sebastian. She was raised in San Diego, California. She was brought up to be tolerant and trustworthy. As a child, she learned to be conscientious, responsible and punctual. These were all traits that she would carry with her throughout her life.

As a young girl, Helen was always aware of how others around her felt and this quality served her well. With a deep capacity to tolerate the feelings of others, Helen was generally able to avoid conflicts. It seemed as if Helen was the family member who was always working to keep stress at bay. Preferring a quiet environment where she could concentrate, Helen also had the ability to relate well with her family and friends. Helen was raised with six siblings. Her siblings were Genevieve, Dorothy, Doris, Marianne, John and Joanne. Helen was constantly involved in activities with her family. Helen and her siblings had the typical rivalries while growing up but they deeply cared for each other and shared many life experiences over the years.

Helen enjoyed learning. She always had a great memory and was particularly skilled at retaining factual information. Helen was generally quiet in class, learning best through observation. She often showed great concentration and was competent at completing the tasks at hand. Good with details, Helen was painstaking and accurate in her efforts. All of these talents culminated in a successful high school career. Helen enjoyed some courses more than others, having favorite subjects and teachers. Her favorite class in high school was English and Reading.

Most folks would say that Helen was shy until they got to know her. Those who were privileged to know her well learned that she was a solid, good friend. Helen was reluctant to generalize about people, and she based her friendships on her personal experiences. Because of this, Helen best trusted those people that she truly knew. She was concerned about how those around her felt, and she always seemed to uncover the positive side of people. She could relate to others and had the ability to see their point of view, to “walk a mile in their shoes,” as the saying goes. The friends that she made, Helen kept. While growing up, some of her best friends were Carmen Xavier, Helen Nunes and Helen Rose Labruzzi.

Love can’t be defined but must be experienced. That was so true for Helen. On November 6, 1940 Helen married Ernest Joseph Silva Sr. at St. Agnes Catholic Church of San Diego, CA. She was totally committed to Ernest and maintained traditional ideals about marriage. It was as if Helen naturally sensed her spouse’s needs, and accepted those feelings unconditionally. Although Helen disliked conflict, she did not take flight from discord, but rather sought to preserve harmony even during the most trying times.

Helen was a good mother to her children. She had “old fashioned” parental values and could handle typical family conflicts in a fair and calm manner. Because she trusted emotions, Helen was reluctant to force issues and used gentle persuasion to resolve situations. In this way she seemed to radiate an aura of warmth and caring to those around her, always thinking before acting. In addition, Helen was a master planner. No matter how hectic life around her might be, she seemed to know and track everyone’s schedule. Helen was blessed with three children, Ernest Jr., Sharon and Mark. She was also blessed with one grandchild, Michele May.

If you gave Helen a deadline, she would meet it. At work, Helen was always on task. Without hesitation, Helen could adhere to any assignment and see it through to its completion. Her primary occupation was taking care of the family. She was employed for 60 years as a homemaker. During that time, Helen excelled in working with small groups in order to complete assignments. She was able to quickly grasp concrete ideas and could organize and plan the best way to accomplish things with remarkable consistency. Helen was good at staying on track and was considerate in listening to what others had to say. In this way, Helen had a true gift for being able to come up with practical resolutions to difficult problems. She was often the team member who managed to put forth a win/win solution for all parties.

Helen liked to experience things first hand, in addition to simply learning about them. This quality influenced Helen's choice of leisure time activities. A methodical and patient worker, Helen preferred to set aside uninterrupted time to work on her hobbies. Her favorite pursuits were bowling and shopping. Helen was content to sit quietly alone, enjoying her hobbies all by herself and could often be found just reading about her favorite pastimes.

While thorough and measured in her approach to things, Helen often liked to physically do things rather than just think about them. She was like that with sports. Recreational sports included bowling. She also enjoyed the statistical data and the facts behind the sports. In this way, she was something of a sports fan and enjoyed watching her favorite teams whenever she got the opportunity. Tops on her list were baseball.

Helen was active in the community. She was practical and grounded and based her decisions on first hand experience. She was responsible and liked working to achieve results rather than just chattering about possibilities. Helen was a member of several community groups, serving on committees for the U.P.S.E.S and on the Portuguese American committee

An individual who respected and maintained traditional values, her faith was important to Helen. Her compassion, consideration and sympathy toward others was evident in her personal beliefs. She was a member St. Agnes Catholic Church for 90 years. During that time, she was part of the Portuguese Festa.

Anyone who traveled or went on vacation with Helen had smooth sailing. It was often taken for granted that she was the trip planner. She would start early and examine all of the possibilities, selecting the best and most effective options. Favorite vacations included Hawaii and Alaska.

Helen passed away on July 10, 2010 at San Diego, CA. She fought a brave battle against Alzheimer's. She is survived by her children, Ernest Jr., Sharon May and Mark, her sisters, Genevieve, Doris, Marianne and Joanne. Services were held at St, Agnes Catholic Church. Helen was laid to rest in Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery.

It is said that some people can’t see the forest for the trees. Helen was able to focus on each individual tree, tending to its needs, thus making the forest stronger as a whole. Helen was a trustworthy, pragmatic and sympathetic person, the kind of woman to whom everyone was drawn. She was thorough and practical. Helen Silva was very literal with her words. You always knew where you stood with Helen. She will be missed.

Arrangements under the direction of Beardsley-Mitchell Funeral Home, San Diego, CA.