Vidyavathy Kadirkamanathan

Our family’s beloved matriarch passed away peacefully on December 23rd, 2024, surrounded by her children and grandchildren.

Family was the most important thing to Vidya, and in her final years, the weekly family zoom calls were something she looked forward to and enjoyed a lot! Her favorite sound was the laughter of her grandchildren!

Vidya had lived in Sri Lanka, India, United Kingdom and, for the last 17 years, in San Diego, USA. Vidya was born in Puloly, Sri Lanka on March 3, 1937, to Thanabalasingham (District Judge) and Balambikai (Madurai Tamil Sangam gold medal winning Tamil Pandit). Her five siblings are Jayadevan, Upendran, Anasuya, Vimaladevi, and Jegathesan.

Vidya pursued her education at Velautham Maha Vidyalayam, Vadamarachchi Hindu Girls' College, Holy Cross College-Trichy and Presidency College-Chennai (Chemistry major). She married Kadirkamanathan (an outstanding civil servant, GA and Additional Director of Budget, Gvmt. Of Sri Lanka), at the young age of twenty and dedicated her life to raising their six children (Sritharan, Mahapathy, Visakan, Janardhanan, Aparna, and Vasutha), and helping to raise many of her eleven grandchildren (Thulasi, Renuka, Hemish, Vivek, Catriona, Mayuran, Nirmal, Vinothan, Rajendra, Saranya and Madhura). She not only was the comforter in chief to her family but also was an inspiration for their successes.

All her life, Vidya truly embodied her motto of “Do your duty, do not expect anything in return”. She worked tirelessly to ensure her children were able to focus on their education. She valued both academic scholarships and achievements as well as the importance of helping others that defined her children’s path in life. Throughout her life, she took care of her mother, siblings, extended relatives, friends and even strangers without any reservation. Her home was open to all, and what was available was shared generously. Vidya had the amazing ability to recognize vulnerability in others and show kindness and compassion at their hour of need. Seeing things from the other’s perspective was her superpower. However, she did not accommodate falsehood of any kind. Vidya’s kindness extended to animals too, as many of our pets, neighbors’ pets and random birds that flew into our home have experienced.

Vidya was a foodie! As a child, food is the only thing she cared about. While she was open to trying other cuisines, South Asian food remained her favorite, and pasta never made the cut. From not knowing how to make a cup of coffee at the time of her marriage, she became an amazing self-taught chef over time. Her dosas are the family and guest favorite as many would attest with frequent visits and expressions of “we have come to eat your dosa”. Her fish cutlets are the grandkids’ favorite.

Her other lifelong passion was gardening. Vidya had an amazing green thumb that could revive plants from the near dead. She tended to her garden at every home we lived at and created a fragrant rose garden, her favorite flower, at her San Diego home. Vidya self-taught Astrology from B V Raman’s astrological magazines and learned gemology whilst she was quite busy raising her children, displaying an amazing ability to multitask (Attavathaani, as her mother would say). She has read many horoscopes and given guidance on mitigating negative effects through prayers, fasting, and wearing appropriate gemstone jewelry.

While her priority was family, she was also involved in the community and served as the president of Mother’s front, an organization formed by mothers in the civil war-torn Jaffna to help with rehabilitation efforts. From a very young age, she was a fierce advocate for women to be independent and self-sufficient, inspired by her great aunt. She was an avid follower of news and loved to learn new things from YouTube every day! She was highly intellectual, including an interest in politics owing to the involvement of some of her family members in her younger days.

Vidya believed in God, the philosophy of Hinduism, importance of religious observances, quiet prayer, and going to temples. It was an integral part of her life and brought comfort to her during many of her difficulties.

Vidya was not large in stature, yet she was strong and led a life of courage and conviction. She was also compassionate, kind, generous, open-minded and adapted well to the many changes happening around her. We are incredibly grateful and fortunate to have had her as our mother and grandmother who had made a difference in our life for the best! Our beautiful, incredible, amazing, generous, kind, loving mother and grandmother will be missed forever!

In the words of her older sister, Anasuya, “Her memory will last here, and she will merge with Bhramham”.