Dr. Gilbert Onwa Okey Abadom

Ernest Hemingway once said;

“Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived …that distinguish one man from another”.

I am here today, to honor the memory of my uncle, Chief, Dr., Sir, Onwanetilora-Ugonabo Okechukwu Gilbert Abadom and share with you some aspects of his life that made him a truly unique gentleman.

At the end of every day, as he rests from his labors, every man asks himself, “Have I made my spouse and children proud? Did I make their worlds at least a little bit better? Did I help others along the way?”

Ever a caring son, brother, husband, uncle, father, grand-father and friend, that is the way that my “Uncle Onwa” lived his life.

“Uncle Onwa” was a distinguished, well dressed gentleman with an enigmatic smile. My earliest recollection of meeting him, was in my mother’s office just before his Youth Corp service. He was a striking, tall, charming young man, with a big grin for a smile, and I remember thinking how gracious he was. Even though I was younger, he addressed me with the utmost respect and attention, and always made me feel valued and important. He was never in too much of a hurry to talk, and joked often to make me feel comfortable.

I remember visiting the family long ago, when my twin nephews were about 5 weeks old. My uncle had taken me to work just to spend the day with him, and was more concerned with what he would feed me for lunch and that I was having a great time.

A day after attending my wedding, “Uncle Onwa” lost his mother. We drove down to Maryland immediately to make sure he was alright. Instead, he spent more time ensuring we were attended to, and asking why we had taken a day off our honey-moon to spend with him.

As the years wore on, my uncle was always instrumental in putting on a “true production” every time we came to visit. He would literally create a party out of it, and encourage us all to dance, just because he believed we should be grateful to be alive.

My uncle was proud of my success, and would always compliment my family and I for anything he deemed to be an accomplishment. This was one of his strongest attributes, and he would refer to me as an example, even at times I did not think I was exemplary or special.

My uncle lived life to the fullest, but anyone who knew him deeply knew he was humble. In the quieter moments, he would be the one to make sure I was okay, with a nod, or a wink, or simply that dashing smile.

I remember “Uncle Onwa” would make me dinner, and rush back in the middle of the meal with stock-fish, he had forgotten to offer earlier. The first time I had venison, he had made it in pepper soup. I had eaten it with relish, and praised him for making what I thought was goat pepper soup. He responded with the same smile and coyly told me it was “deer meat”.

Uncle loved family. Not just his immediate family and siblings, but other relatives, in-laws, and friends. He “adopted” many along the way. You could never tell the difference between how he treated Ada Anyi (his mother) and Nwabunie (his mother-in-law).

“Uncle Onwa” always welcomed my father to stay with the family when he was in the country. Dad referred to those visits as going on vacation from us, as he felt very at home and relaxed there. I will conclude this by sharing when I last saw “Uncle Onwa”. He had visited with Aunty Vivian last October, to console me after the loss of my mother. This was a few weeks before their scheduled trip to Nigeria. He offered me the love, comfort and words only a caring person and dearest family member can provide. In my grief, I felt consoled, and made a silent promise to visit more upon returning from his travels. That never came to pass!

“Uncle Onwa” I will miss you.

As you rest from your life’s long labor, know that you have made your family proud. I take solace in the knowledge of everlasting life, the belief that this is God’s will, and that he was called upon for a reason. Maybe it is to entertain the angels, create a party in heaven, or to look after those who preceded him such as Uncle SK, his own brothers and sister, my mother, and many others too numerous to mention.

One of my favorite hymns is an adaptation of 1 Corinthians 2:9

“Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God has ready for those who love him”. We cannot imagine the peace and love that “Uncle Onwa” will receive in the hands of the Lord.

May his soul rest in perfect peace. Amen!

To my cousin, (Aunty Vivian), my nieces, nephews and their spouses and children, I would like to say;

“We have no control over the future, but God has given us a great gift to be able to recall all our happiest times that we have spent together in the past.

Let this not weigh too heavy on your hearts. When in pain, eke out the memories. I am sure you will see his smile, his grace, and his love. He will protect you as always.”

“The greatest tribute to the departed is not grief but gratitude.”

Eventually, we will work our way through our sorrow, and rejoice in his life we have all shared.

I love you, God bless you, and God bless everyone here today.

Thank you!

Linda Areh Oshodi

Arrangements under the direction of

Hines-Rinaldi Funeral Home

Silver Spring, Maryland