Dorie Markwalder

Octobor 5th, 1961 – June 27th, 2021

On June 27th, 2021, Dorie passed away after a three-week long struggle to recover from major back surgery. She left this life peacefully, surrounded by those who loved her most dearly. She is preceded in death by her son, Ian and survived by her parents, Frank and Pat, her siblings Denice and Todd; her husband, Thomas, and her children James, Brandy, and Victoria.

Her eulogy, by Thomas Markwalder, follows:

Dorie, my love, light of my life, how do I even begin? I suppose there is really only one way: I love you. Since the day we met and with every breath God gives me, with all that I am, from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul, I love you. You’re my whole life. Everything I am revolves around you like the earth around the sun. And just as the earth needs the sun to warm its bones, I will always need you to warm my soul.

Writing this has been very difficult and not just because of the immense sadness that I feel but because there is so much that I need to say, so much that I want people to know about you, Dorie. You are so intensely everything I could ever have hoped for, ever dared to dream for that I simply cannot express it in words. The only way for people to know you like I do, see you as I do, feel you the way I do is if they were to climb inside my heart, wrap themselves in my soul, and gaze at you through my eyes.

You are magnificent, darling, in every way and I am so singularly blessed that you chose me to love. From the very beginning you took my breath away. Yes, you are undeniably beautiful, stunningly so. The most beautiful woman that I have ever laid eyes on. But you are so much more than that! Though it may sound cliché, your beauty truly does come from within. God gave you a loving, caring, tenderly genuine soul, a heart of gold, a warrior’s courage, a giant’s strength, a mother’s love, a woman’s passion, and a childlike joy for life that swirl together and make you absolutely radiant. The first time you looked into my eyes and let me really see you, my heart stopped. You had me forever, right then and there hook, line and sinker and no fish was ever happier to surrender.

I adore everything about you, from the crinkles at the corners of your eyes to your cute little ears that you always said were fat, down to the prettiest two feet I ever saw. That gorgeous smile of yours that turned me to mush every time you aimed it my way. The sound of your laugh or that kitty-purr you could do so well. The look in your eyes when you were feeling naughty or the one that bores right into my soul and says “Thomas, I love you more than life itself.” I could fall into those eyes and get lost in them forever and it wouldn’t be long enough. You and I have that storybook, fairy tale, intensely forever love that other people cannot help but notice.

But being together came with its challenges. It wasn’t all champagne and roses. Between us we had four teenage children whose lives had just been turned upside down. Right from the start you made it clear to me that they were to all be our children, not your children and my children, ours. James, you have always been your mother’s protector and I imagine it took you a long time to decide if I was going to treat her as she deserved to be treated, if I was going to make her happy. I hope I have lived up to your expectations. Tori, I know that you had the same concerns about whether or not Dorie was going to be good for me, if you could trust her and count on her, and maybe most importantly, if she was in it for the long haul. I know that she lived up to all of those things. Brandy, I think you saw first hand how much your mother and I loved each other and that was good enough for you. You and Ian had that in common, he too saw how happy your mother and I made each other and just rolled with it.

Dorie, you had a very unique relationship with our Ian. You did everything you could to help him and you supported my every effort to do the same, no matter what. When he needed love you gave it, when he needed a shoulder yours was there, when he needed the hard truth you spoke it, when he needed his father, you told me go. He knew he could always count on you. No one tried harder to give him a chance at life than you did. He loved you dearly and the stack of Mother’s Day cards that he gave you and that you saved, says it all. He prayed for you constantly and had he not gone on before you, he would have been inconsolable now.

You and I, Dorie, we’re peas n carrots, made for each other, an inseparable pair. We did everything together and I am so glad that we lived our life that way. It never mattered what we were doing it was wonderful because we were doing it together. We laughed, we cried, we loved, we cuddled, we read, we rode, we danced. My did we dance! No one could dance like you, darlin, and no one ever loved to dance more. You could dance to absolutely anything or even nothing at all and when we danced together you made me look like I knew what I was doing. People couldn’t hear you calling out the steps in my ear “quick-quick-slow, quick-quick-slow.“ We are supposed to make joyful noises to the Lord, but Dorie, I believe your joyful steps were just as pleasing to Him and why you did it so well.

You were just as comfortable astride a motorcycle as you were on the dance floor. How often did you leave me in the dust at stoplights only to delight me by throwing both hands up in the air, coasting at 100 miles an hour, and laughing back at me while I played catch up. And though you let me blame it on riding our big old dresser, the truth is nobody had a hole-shot as quick as yours or the stones to stay in the throttle down the line like you did. But I can’t say I minded much because watching you ride and seeing the joy that it brought you made the view from behind always worth it. Nothing cemented our partnership, our trust, our love for each other more though than those twenty-six glorious days we spent riding two-up across the country. We covered 8600 miles, eighteen states, and even crossed into Canada before we came home. Remember how we talked about never coming back? If only we could have stayed out there on the road together forever. You and me, the sun on our faces, the wind in our hair, the rumble beneath us and the road stretched out in front of us. One day, baby, we’ll ride together again, I promise.

No one was ever better in a crisis than you. I’ve never seen anyone respond with such grace under pressure. I’ve seen steel rise in you when you needed it like some sort of super power. It would start in your toes and work its way up setting your stance a bit firmer, lifting your chest, squaring your shoulders. All of a sudden you'd be standing taller than ever, a slight jut to your jawline, culminating in a flash of fire in your eyes that would leave them aglow. The last time I saw it rise was on the morning of June 20th, in your hospital room.

They’d notified me the day before about our son, Ian, and I hadn’t told you yet. I took your hands in mine, looked into your eyes and said I had something important to tell you. You focused on me and listened intently as I told you of his passing. I could see the tears fill your eyes, your lower lip trembled ever so slightly. Then I told you how much I was going to need you to get through it, that I couldn’t handle it without you. And laying there, with all that was assailing your body, as weak as you were, that hardened steel rose in you as surely as the sun rose that morning. It flashed in your eyes and glowed like green embers as you gripped my hands sure and steady, nodding to let me know that you had me. That you’d take care of me, that it was all going to be alright, we’d get through it together. We sat like that for a long while, silently sharing our grief, our strength, our oneness. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love you more.

God has always been at the center of your life. You didn’t see to it that James and Brandy went to Catholic school because it was fashionable. You did it because you wanted them to grow up knowing God. And though I had not yet found my way to Him when you came into my life, you must have known that one day I would. Looking back now I see that there were gentle nudges from you all along like the cross you insisted I buy before we were married and that I have worn ever since. When I finally did reach out to Him, you supported me, you encouraged me, you listened to me. God made you and our son, Ian, partners in turning me to Him because He knew that I would need Him after He called you both home. Having our faith to share these past years together is the crowning jewel, the final and most important piece that made our marriage perfect. Thank you, Dorie, for never giving up on me.

Someone told me to look back at who I was before you came into my life so that I might find myself again because relationships can change our sense of self. Well thank our Almighty Father in heaven that they do because I know all too well who I was back then and I would never want to be that man again. You saved that man from a reckless path that wasn’t going any place good. You healed him. You fixed what was broken inside of him, you made him whole. You helped him become someone far better than he ever imagined he could be. Even now, my darling, you are working your magic on me. I hope you know just how much I look up to you, admire you, want to be like you, and to make you as proud of me as I have always been of you.

You left this life peacefully, surrounded by children, parents, siblings, and friends, those who loved you most dearly. Holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes, you and I did one last thing on this earth together, we said good bye. I will be forever grateful to God for letting me be there, for letting all of us be there, to see you home.

There are so many memories, so many stories, so many people you have touched that I can’t even begin to recount them all. You were a mother to every one around you, no matter their age. You cared for all of us, all the time. You are truly one of a kind, Dorie, the stuff that dreams, legends, and heroes are made of. I am so sad that your not here with me but I am so happy that your pain is behind you, that you’re finally whole, happy, perfect, and home.

Dorie this is not the end of our fairy tale. Like every great love story, there comes a time when lovers are pulled apart and must find their way back into each other’s arms. A time always comes for the knight to fight his way back to his queen. Our happily ever after is in front of us, Dorie, not behind us and knowing that makes my journey bearable. I know that you’re waiting for me with a warm, wet kiss so I’ll try to be patient and to do the work that God puts before me but I will long for you with every heartbeat until our happily ever after truly begins.

Doris Elaine Markwalder, I will love you, forever.