Patricia Urban Utz

Born on March 16, 1933 in Monongah, West Virginia, Pat was the daughter of Andrew S. Urban and Juliana (Lu) Wojtowitcz (Fisher). Her paternal grandfather, Peter Urban, immigrated from Poland and was the lone survivor of the 1907 Monongah mine explosion that killed 362 individuals. Her life in this close-knit West Virginia town was family focused with her paternal grandmother Catherine, and aunts and uncles within walking distance from her childhood home. She graduated from Monongah High School in 1950, earning the honor of class valedictorian. She was a member of the home economics club, glee club, women’s basketball team, and yearbook staff. She played clarinet in the school and all county band. She willed her love of basketball in her senior class notes. Her senior quote quipped “The happiness of your life depends upon the character of your thoughts.” Pat played hard and worked hard, occasionally sharing stories of marching band performances, visits to swim in the river and a local quarry, hikes up the hill behind her home for sunrise breakfasts, playing six-on-six basketball, and scooting out the living room window in the evening to join friends. As a young girl, she worked in a jewelry store and played the piano for her good friend, Leatrice, who sang for the local radio station. One of Pat’s early entrepreneurial ventures was selling earthworms to fishermen from a coffee can she kept hidden underneath the Monongahela River Bridge.

Pat graduated from Fairmont State College with an A.B. in Education. She went on to teach home economics at Brooklyn Park High School in Anne Arundel County, Maryland. She and two other Fairmont State classmates – Nelda and Imogene – were committed to starting their professional careers together and did just that. The three were hired, found an apartment near Annapolis, Maryland to rent, and ultimately recruited a fourth classmate to join the teaching staff of this newly opened school. Pat met her eventual husband, John, during an exchange weekend at the U.S. Naval Academy after he agreed to fill in for another on a planned double date. While John completed his West Point classes, Pat and friends drove from Maryland to New York to visit and the relationship grew. During their courtship, she was introduced to Maryland blue crabs and thought, “What in the world is this?!?!” This shellfish soon became a staple on every beach trip to Ocean City, Maryland. Pat and John were married on June 6, 1956, the day after graduation, at the West Point Catholic Chapel of the Most Holy Trinity.

Pat was a supportive military spouse as her husband’s orders took them across the U.S. – Oklahoma, Texas, Alabama, California, Washington, Georgia, Virginia, Kansas – and Germany, finally setting in Fairfax County, Virginia, "because they had good schools." She welcomed five children into the family along the way, enjoyed the companionship of other military families, embraced local and overseas travel, and would occasionally share fond memories of all these places she and John called home.

Pat was the ultimate manager and had a knack for making sure that things got done. Laundry on Mondays, ironing on Tuesdays, lunches to go in the morning, carpool duty, kids at the table doing homework before dinner, everything put away before the evening ended, and the thousand tasks that every parent knows about. She was one of those moms that had eyes at the back of her head and her children rarely got away with anything ... or her husband for that matter. She was quick to tell people that she had no patience – and that she didn’t know how she waited 9 months to have a child. Perhaps her apparent lack of patience was one secret behind her ability to keep life humming for her family.

She was a loyal fan of the Washington Redskins and enjoyed calls during and after games with her son, who would share thoughts about exciting plays. More recently, she was amazed that women’s basketball was not only televised but that the game was fast paced and dynamic. She was thrilled to see the accuracy of the 3-point shooters.

Pat volunteered in school classrooms and clinics (perhaps to keep an eye on her youngest) and her church, at Fort Belvoir Community Hospital, with community associations, and at election polling sites. She received her, "I voted in the 2024 election" sticker the week before she died.

Pat loved to talk on the phone with family, friends, and neighbors. She hardly hesitated to contact high school and college classmates, military friends, and previous neighbors that she had lost touch with once contact information became more available via the Internet. She and her husband worked to expand and fill in gaps of their family trees, with Pat happy to correspond with relatives and share collected genealogical information. She was generous in spirit and advice. Christmas, her favorite holiday, brought dozens of her homemade drop and bar cookies on plates on the dining room table waiting to be distributed. Thanksgiving and Christmas family gatherings were family traditions, with tables needing to be added to accommodate her children’s spouses, significant others, grandchildren, and sometimes family friends. Nothing made her happier than to hear from others and to be with family on Christmas morning.

Bare feet were her preference. Once home, she’d quickly remove her shoes. She’d smile when retelling the story that she took her first driving test on the mountain roads of West Virginia wearing no shoes. Although it was John, her husband, who was the first to tell his kids about this unusual exam experience.

Pat was an avid reader and browsed through the second-hand books at the local library, often with lists of authors’ books to remind her which books she had not yet read. While her children were young, visits to the library and searches around the house for all checked-out books were common. She held onto many of her books for a time, keeping them close as one would a friend, and eventually decided that passing them along to others made sense too. Her plant and flower gardens were her respite – planting, transplanting, nurturing new growth, pruning, and picking up sticks, leaves, and the occasional snake. She loved flowers, especially bluebells. Views of her backyard, even through windows while inside her home, made one that more appreciative of Mother Earth’s blessings.

During the last years of her life, Pat preferred to stay close to home. Although wistful about adventures that were likely not to happen, she was open to sharing good memories from all decades of her life. She kept daily watch over the wildlife in her backyard, especially the foxes and pileated woodpeckers, whose appearance would interrupt any on-going conversations. She savored her morning cup of coffee and appreciated it even more with Krispy Kreme donuts.

Pat would have welcomed the chance to travel into space, drive a racecar, climb an indoor rock wall, bring into her home a few children who did not have a family, visit more of the world like her close friend Ida, and make a difference. Yet, those who knew her know full well that she did make a tremendous difference. She was West Virginia proud, Polish proud, and coal country proud. And she loved her feathered friends.

Patricia is survived by her five children, John (Diana) of Fredericksburg, VA; Jennifer (Cindy) of Germantown, MD; Dee of Bausman, PA; Elise (Jeff) Baker of Lancaster, PA; and Caryn (Jonathan) of Staunton, VA; her amazing grandchildren whom she was very proud of, Juliana, Ryan, Hazel, Auggie, and Abi; and a number of nephews and nieces. She was preceded in death by her parents, her husband of 66 years, and her brother, Michael Urban.

Dobranoc, rest in peace, Pat; you touched many lives and were loved very much. Fly high.

Relatives and friends are invited to celebrate Pat’s life on Monday, December 16, 2024, at noon at Nativity Catholic Church, 6400 Nativity Lane, Burke, VA 22015. A memorial service and internment of her ashes will be held at Arlington National Cemetery at a date yet to be determined.

If interested, memorial contributions may be made to the Wildlife Center of Virginia, the National Audubon Society, or a charity of your choice.