My Aunt Kay was really the only aunt I knew growing up, as she and my Uncle (brother to my mother) lived in Houston during my formidable years. Uncle Bill and Aunt Kay were the sole relations we had from St. Louis in Houston and we had a routine. Every Friday night we'd visit them after going out to dinner. Kay was always a great hostess, offering up her favorite RC Cola and some snacks. The adults would play penny poker. There would be big voices and plenty of laughter. Mickey, Aunt Kay's rat terrier, was always in her lap, she even taught him how to smile. I never left Aunt Kay's house without a treat, she always had something tucked away as a take away. Like most families we would spend the holidays together and took many beach vacations. 

Aunt Kay was a great teaser and had no problem flashing her fanny at us from under her housecoat. She was famous for her spelling ability and was a challenging crossword enthusiast. She enjoyed football and always had a few comments about the rear ends' of the guys in the huddle. She and my father got along famously. I know Kay was a great wife and wonderful caring nurse when Bill suffered a stroke and later diagnosed with lung cancer. Once Bill was gone it was not long till she left to be with her twin and her big Italian family in St. Louis.

As an adult, my husband, oldest daughter and I passed through St. Louis a few times, always stopping by for a visit. She would take us to her favorite shops on The Hill for pastries, deli meats, cheeses and bread. We'd have a feast by the time we returned back to Kay's house. She taught me her meatball recipe and told me you could just smash the meatballs and have garlic burgers! I was very blessed to visit Aunt Kay with my two younger daughters just a few years ago. Kay taught them a few things they will never forget, along with a few bits of history that explains our crazy family. I cannot think of a time she did not make me laugh yet always had a warm concern for my family. Her voice is unforgettable and her laugh was infectious. I miss her and think of her everyday.  

With loving, lasting memories of Aunt Kay,
Susan Tegethoff Diehl
Houston, Texas

Aunt Kay was a wonderful woman and my Mother's twin sister. I had sixteen aunts and she was always my favorite. She was a woman who possessed a love for learning, reading and was very knowledgable. She had a great sense of humor and the gift to make people laugh. I will always remember her warmth, kindness and generosity. 
When I was five years old I spent a week in the hospital with pneumonia. Aunt Kay came to visit me and brought me a very special "Ginny" doll. I can still remember that visit and how happy I was to see her. Every time I looked at that doll it made me think of her and was a source of comfort. I still have that doll and when I see it, I remember her with love.
Amongst her many good qualities, I always admired and respected her for her strength. Life certainly handed her some very hard and difficult times. Through it all she remained positive, kept her head up and never gave in to the sadness. 
Having her in my life was a privilege that has left me with many great memories.
She will be missed everyday.

When I first met Kay it was at her sister Millie's house in 1985. It was hard for me to tell them apart. I soon found from the many stories I had heard that I was not the only one that had this difficulty. You really can't talk about just Kay because she and Millie were together so often, their lives were so entwined. They were funny and full of life and never acted old. They always made you feel welcomed and comfortable. I enjoy the many wonderful memories of the times spent with both of them playing cards. Favorites such as Scopa or Scuba as we called it, Poker and Pass the Trash. We frequently shared so many visits, movies and dinners. 
On several occasions Kay, Millie, Joanne and I would fly to Las Vegas to join their sister Josie and her husband Mitch. They would drive to Las Vegas from their home in California and we had several days together. We all had such a good time during these vacations.
A particularly memorable event was their surprise 80th birthday party held May 2, 1997 at Agusti's restaurant on the Hill. They were so surprised and happy. Kay actually teared up upon seeing the numerous people that had gathered. Many relatives and friends attended and some from as far as California and New Jersey. 
Of course I can't forget the many times we either met or accompanied Aunt Kay to the local casinos. She really enjoyed her casino trips with her brother Victor, family and friends. Kay was a true gambler and her favorite game at the casino was Deuces Wild video poker. We would often laugh about how many times the deuces would show up while she was playing and tease her that it was because she was a twin. While Kay never won huge jackpots gambling she won big in life. She was fortunate to always have loving family and friends in her life.
They both were the most generous, kind and loving women. It was my pleasure to help care for them in their latter years. They deserved it! Even though Kay was not a a blood relative of mine, I loved her like she was my own Aunt. I know they had no idea how many lives they touched but my life was made fuller having known them.

Ron loved Aunt Kay like a second mother. He was so pleased and proud to have her as his godmother, and never forgave the church for excommunicating her after her divorce.
One of his favorite stories about her involved his high school friend George Tesson. They were at Ron's house and George was sitting on the couch in the living room, near Kay (whom he assumed was Millie.) He decided to go into the kitchen, but instead of walking, just rolled off the couch and continued doing somersaults all the way into the other room. When he met Millie in the kitchen, George was mortified to realize how bizarre he had just acted in front of a virtual stranger! Ron of course thought this was hilarious, although Kay probably thought nothing of it.
She was a great aunt.
Cathy (Ron's wife)

I met Kay when I became her caregiver while she was living with her niece Joanne and Gina. In a short time I became very close to her.  She always had a smile on her face and was so lovable. Caring for her was a pleasure and I enjoyed every day I spent with her. She will always be in my heart and remembered with love.

I have many memories of Kay. I remember her as having a colorful vocabulary and she used it!
Whether she was just having lunch or playing cards with the ladies she used many expletives. My Mom would laugh but Aunt Mary (George's sister) would just sit and blush. She was so fun and quite a character. 
Sheila (daughter of Lee and Fritz Garavaglia)

What seemed like overnight a glamorous woman moved into our extra bedroom.  My brother Danny was five years old and I was six.  We were thunderstruck by her arrival.  

Aunt Kay wore a lot of perfume.  She liked to wear nice dresses, costume jewelry and dark red lipstick.  She loved to sew in her room and I always wanted to stand right by her side and watch every move she would make.  Mostly she was patient with me, but she liked to tease me, tell me she would put my fingers in the sewing machine, or just tell me to, get the hell out of here.   We followed her around all the time so we heard that phrase quite often.

Now sixty-five this distant memory recalls a time of innocence and every day brought a new adventure.  Aunt Kay was living with us during a major transition in her life.  She was now free from a long and difficult divorce from her first husband George.

Kay was dating Bill Esmar and we were about to meet him for the first time.  Danny and me watched her put on her make up and she chased us away by spraying us with perfume.  Danny noticed she kept a small partial set of false teeth in a glass by her bed at night.  This he found really interesting, he asked a lot of questions about it, and mostly just thought it was strange and funny.  When the evening came for Bill to pick her up for a date she warned Danny to keep the false teeth a secret.

When Bill arrived he was a little scary.  He was big and tall; he smoked a cigar and was not Italian.  He and Kay were happy to see each other and we just looked up at this giant man with curiosity.  She introduced us and he shook my hand.  Danny stood behind me but then walked right up to Bill and motioned for him lean over so he could whisper in his ear.  It really wasn't a whisper as we all heard him tell Bill, Kay has false teeth.  Bill, Kay, my mom and dad could not stop laughing. They told this story over and over, but I remember thinking, Bill's ok, he's part of our family.  Later we learned he already knew the secret.

Bill and Kay planned to be married, and shortly after they moved to Houston, Texas.  We visited them once in the early days of their move.  Many years later I returned to Houston, when Bill was very ill.  While in ICU I spent a few days with Kay.  We reminisced about the time she lived with us and we laughed about all the stories, all now slightly exaggerated.  She told me it was one of the best times of her life.  It may have been one of the first times I saw her tear up a little.

Kay never had kids of her own, so she always had a soft spot for Danny and I.  Of course, over the years Kay was very close to her twin sister Millie and her three kids.  Ron, Joanne and Rick, were very fortunate to have a second mother.  All through her life Kay and Joanne were very close.  Joanne with the help of Gina cared for Kay with deep affection and skill.  Kay moved in with them affording her the comfort of home and loving family.

Aunt Kay had many friends, loving siblings, brothers and sisters-in-law, and a score of nieces, and nephews.  While she endured the passing of all of her ten brothers and sisters, she remained optimistic, full of love and humor. 

My memories of Kay will always remain one of the great treasures of my life.  

Gary Passanise

I remember my Aunt Kay as a very funny, sassy, loud and spirited woman with a fondness and talent for using colorful language often, and making me laugh.  Living so far from her, I didn't get to know her as well as I would have liked, but managed to keep in touch with her throughout my adult years. 
The one thing that I will always remember about her was her warmth and acceptance of me at a time when I needed it most.  Her caring and kindness brought me comfort, and I will always remember her with a smile.

I have so many great memories of Aunt Kay. She was such a fun loving person. Always wanting to give you something or wanting to do something for you.
I remember how great it was when she moved back on The Hill after Uncle Bill passed away. I know my Mom Anne (Kay's sister) was extremely happy. I always loved going to the house on Bischoff to visit everyone. Great times!
Kay was a great sister. After moving back to St. Louis she lived with her brothers, Paul and Charlie. They all lived together and helped each other. 
She was always an upbeat person and very positive. She had many good traits including a sharp wit and a great sense of humor. 
She loved to play cards, as did most of the Passanise family, her extended family and friends. I played many games of "Scuba" with her and even in her 90's she was sharp as a tack. She loved going to the Casino and playing poker. 
She s thought of often and will be missed forever. 
Hopefully all the Passanise siblings are playing poker in Heaven!

There are a lot of wonderful things I remember about Aunt Kay. I grew up seeing her at holidays, important family events or just a stop over on a weekend night at the Passanise home on The Hill. She was always caring and welcoming. She never put on airs. She was the kind of lady that exemplified the saying, "what you see is what you get"...oh and then there was some sass! A lot of laughter always surrounded Aunt Kay. The thing I remember most about this woman was that she was strong and independent. She was respectful and kind but purposeful in her actions. She had a
huge heart and love for her family. She was an amazing woman that was a wonderful example for young women. Thank you Aunt Kay for being you.
Angela Passanise Coogan (great niece)

Concetta "Kay" Passanise Esmar and I met playing cards after she returned to St. Louis from Houston. She loved to play Poker and go to the Casino. We became "best friends" and enjoyed talking on the telephone almost every day. Our poker group included Liz Passanise, Mary Passanise, Josie Sansone, Lena Scarato, Virginia Maniscalco, Rose Fresta and me. We met every Thursday and had lunch, as well. The group also enjoyed going to the Casino. On one occassion Fred Sansone, Ann (Sansone) Hoffman and I took the girls downtown to the Casino on the Riverboat. To get there we arranged for 5- 6 wheelchairs. Ann and I got the giggles as we watched each one of the girls being pushed ahead of us in a line to the boat. Sometimes her brother, Paul would go with Kay and I to Alton, IL to the casino/boat. 
Kay loved to watch Jeopardy and she would call me or I would call her to see if she knew the question to the last answer. Kay loved her St. Louis family and was happy to be here with them. She loved when her sister Josie and her husband Mitch came to town. That meant another trip to the Casino. 
Thanks to Joanne and Gina for taking care of Kay over the years. 
Karen Larsen

Aunt Kay was such a pistol, I loved how funny she was! I remember visiting when I was little and I went running to her thinking she was Millie -- she shouted "I'm not your grandma!" with a huge laugh, she got such a kick out of it (and she gave me a special doll, so no hard feelings!). I loved watching her and Millie together, two peas in a pod even when they were bickering -- I learned some great Italian curse words while playing cards with those two! I will be sure to teach my 3 girls Pass the Trash and tell them stories about 2 great ladies.
Ellen Schell ( great niece of Kay)

Aunt Kay was always a lot of fun to be around - She made everyone laugh.  She will be missed.

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Concetta "Kay" Esmar

2 mai 1917 – 29 décembre 2015

Calcaterra Funeral Home

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