Linda LaFerla

Born August 27, 1929, Linda passed away on Thursday, December 5, 2019 at the age of 90. Daughter of the late Sebastiano and Sarah Bramanti; beloved wife of the late Salvatore “Sam” LaFerla; dearest mother of Frank (Mickey) LaFerla, Rosie (Dave) Winkler and the late Charlie (Cindy) LaFerla; loving Nonna of Brian (Jaime) Winkler, Jeff Winkler, Jennifer (Greg) Kleissle, Salvatore (fiancé Anna Bunyatova), Samantha LaFerla and Dominic (fiancé Megan Shillingsford); great-grandmother “Nonna” of Grace, Emma, Nevaeh and Beau; dear sister, sister-in-law, aunt, great-aunt, great great-aunt, cousin and friend to many.

Linda was born in Augusta, Sicily. She survived the World War II bombings, but her mother did not. So, at age 13, Linda became the "Mom" of the family and began taking care of her Dad and siblings. She came to America in 1954, (a 10-day journey) on the Christopher Columbus Ship, with her husband Sam and their one-year-old son, while all of her siblings and family still reside in Sicily. They immediately came to settle "On The Hill" and became parishioners of St. Ambrose Church. Her children and grandchildren have all graduated from St. Ambrose School, and now her great-granddaughters are attending there.

Her biggest joy in life was cooking every Sunday for the entire family. Mangia! Mangia! Also, you could always find her walking at least twice a day, no matter the weather (and don't even try catching up with her, because you couldn't). She always had a smile on her face and greeted everyone with a hug or a kiss.

Contributions in Linda’s name may be made to The Sick and Elderly Program of the Hill, 2315 Macklind Ave.; St. Louis, MO 63110 or to St. Ambrose Church, 5130 Wilson Ave.; St. Louis, MO 63110.

Funeral From Calcaterra Funeral Home, 5140 Daggett Ave., Wednesday, December 11th, 9:30 am to St. Ambrose Catholic Church for Mass of Christian Burial at 10:00 am, 5130 Wilson Ave. Entombment at Resurrection Cemetery. Visitation Tuesday, December 10th from 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm at Calcaterra Funeral Home.

Eulogy given by Brian Winkler

Good morning and thank you for coming. As many of you know, Nonna passed away on Thursday. It ended up being a long week, and Thursday was a trying day with many of us fortunately able to be with her at some point. Understandably, there were lots of tears, but not from myself. It wasn’t quite sinking in. I was late to allow the emotions to set in……….I am my mother’s son and being late to things might kind of be our thing. The following morning, while waiting for the dog to get a quick bathroom break before I leave, I read a couple articles on my phone, a couple emails for what the day had in store, and I happened to glance up at a picture of me and Nonna on the shelf and it hit me finally….she was gone. Why was it hitting me now? As I reflected on my drive into work, I realized it…..we are surrounded by negativity. It’s everywhere, in our workplaces, in politics, in the world, just in our lives in general. And with all of that surrounding us/me, I knew I was going to miss her because she was just so positive, so uplifting, and when she was alive that was available to me whenever I wanted. That was now gone. But how did she end up being that positive force?

Most of you probably read the obituary so I won’t rehash it, but the highlights:

• Born in Augusta, Sicily, she grew up as the island was being bombed during WWII.

• She lost her mom at age 13 and effectively became the woman of the house.

• She obviously had to grow up fast, but she would talk to me from time to time about this guy trying to woo her a little less than a decade later after he had been stationed in a submarine during the war. He had some hoops to jump through as I am told with her dad, but he obviously succeeded.

• She would eventually emigrate to America with Salvatore LaFerla and their son Frank on the Christopher Columbus and would establish roots in the neighborhood many of us live in today (later finding out Nonna was pregnant with my mom…….I heard sea sickness and morning sickness make quite a tandem, but only Nonna could tell you for sure.)

A few bumps in the road in there, right? I believe that is why Tom Brokaw called it the Greatest Generation. She was tough as nails, she didn’t pull punches, but she earned it. I had already viewed her as one of the toughest people I knew, but in the last 20 years of her life, she has lost her husband and son, fought breast cancer on 4 separate instances, came back from a broken hip and wrist, had a heart attack and stroke, shingles and actually a few years ago her blood sugar had crashed to the point where she had stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated by my mom. But in light of everything she ever faced in her life, it never seemed to dampen her spirits and she always seemed to come back as positive and outgoing as she had ever been. Sure she had down days, but she always returned to her infinitely loving self. This is a woman who would readily tell me when the audience and host danced on the Ellen Show (she loved that show), she got up and danced too, it made her happy and she did what made her happy. Oh yeah, her other favorite shows……Jerry Springer and Judge Judy, she loved to tell whoever would come by that day about the absurdity she saw on those shows.

But besides a recap of daytime TV, the thing she loved to share was her opinions. She had plenty of them and it was great to hear her let em rip……but funny enough, I took some video of some times she got on such a heated kick (hands tended to be swinging around a lot like this) and she would sometimes start laughing at herself by the end, like watching the actors on Saturday Night Live who start laughing at themselves during a sketch when they realize how ridiculous the words are coming out of their mouth. Examples:

• She had her way of pronouncing your name, and sorry, that was just the way it was going to be. But many of us embraced it, like Dominikki and my wife Jame.

• You’ve heard it talked about by many, but she loved to cook a huge lunch for everyone who wanted to come, family or friend, every Sunday. She was an amazing cook. But you better not have an issue with what she is serving. Peas in the pasta, octopus during lent, mushrooms in anything? You’ll hear about it….”Don’t worry, they won’t hurt you, they no kill you.” When Nonno was alive he’d join in.

• One of my personal favorites. My wife was traveling for work, and I bring the girls over to my parent’s house to have dinner with Nonna. “Where’s Jame?” “She is out of town for work.” With a quickness, “Ohhhhh, baaaa-looooo-neeeey. She don’t need to travel for work. She’s on vacation.” “No, seriously, she is working.” “Sure, ok. She is on vacation.” This goes on for a while, until she closes with a line she liked to go to, “They don’t make women like me any more.” Ironically, Jaime was supposed to be traveling this week but no vacation for her. Good looking out, Nonna.

• After breaking her hip, Nonna was wrapping up her physical therapy. She saw a friend resident walking towards her whose daughter was giving him the third degree that he wasn’t exercising his leg enough. Nonna’s response….”Johnny, you gotta raise-a you legs like this, you know what-a they say, use-a them or you lose-a them”.

• At dinner at assisted living, she felt the need to help another friend: “Joe, whatsa matta with you, go back and putta you teeth in.”

• Words of encouragement, my wife’s identical twin sister comes over to Nonna’s one Sunday for lunch well before she met her husband, and it inevitably went to her single status: “Jackie, why you no gotta nobody, you no looka so bad.” Reminder, my wife’s identical twin.

• Many remember when the Hill was transformed to be the set for the Game of their Lives, my mother was an extra as well as her friend, Barb Barbaglia. Nonna was on one of her 2 daily walks and my mom sees her and yells out to her to get her attention. The response when she finally does: “Rosie, that’s a you? You look a so ugly.” She turns to Barb: “Oh Barbie, you look a so beautiful.”

• And finally, last Monday night, many of us knowing she was in bad shape, gathered at Bethesda. She was starting some strong pain meds and was essentially bed ridden. She was in and out of consciousness, but not missing her sharp wit. As midnight was approaching and people were still sitting around talking at her bedside, without opening her eyes Nonna gave what ended up being her last words “Hey, you people, I guess-a you don’t want me to get no sleep tonight?”

While many of us who knew her had these memories, I’ll get clichéd for a moment in saying that a picture says a thousand words. While her laughter was infectious and her sharp tongue and candor was second to none, the one image that has been etched in my brain since I took it was a photo I have on the corner one of the picture boards. In it, Nonna has her eyes closed, holding my daughter Grace, Grace’s eyes puffy and closed also as she was sick. Nonna is holding her, Grace sick as can be, not caring if she got sick too and about as tightly as you can hold another person. It was almost like, if she could be closer to her she could maybe absorb some of her suffering, make it her own so that Grace might feel better. I can’t really say why, but that image has always stuck with me as I feel it embodied the way she loved her family and friends. To me, that was the true nature of her, she always seemed to want to ease the burdens of the people around her and that she cared about. A lot of times that was just with a lot of really good food, but it came in all forms.

In closing, I guess I have to go back to my original point and say this. With all of the negativity and just all around craziness that surrounds us right now, people like Nonna I feel are proving to be more and more of a rarity in the world. We all need to try to find sources of genuine positivity, either trying to be them ourselves or at a minimum, surrounding ourselves by them. Nonna, we love you and we miss you, and while we may never have someone in our lives quite like you again, we are fortunate to have had you as long as we did and the memories and inspiration that you gave us, so we are going to go ahead and let you get your sleep now.

“I cried when you passed away. I still cry today. Although I loved you dearly, I couldn’t make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hardworking hands at rest. God broke my heart to prove to me He only takes the best.” Nonna, you were the glue to the family, a fighter, a survivor and taught me the importance of things. You had such a big heart, your door was always open to anyone. On Sunday’s, that was family day, everyone sat around the table, over talking each other and being loud as could be. We pray and the enjoyed the meal you prepared. You were like a mother to me, always a phone call away. You were my best friend, you were everything I wanted to be. One of the very last things you said to me was, “your face is one I’ll never forget, Samantha, my dolly.” And that I’ll always be, your dolly.