Margaret Mary Vaporean

fortified in the Holy Sacraments of the Catholic Church. Margaret was born July 19, 1932, in St. Louis to the late Frank and Edna Rohr (nee Engeszer). She was the beloved wife of 49 years of the late Albert P. Vaporean; loving and devoted mother of Teresa (Leo) Kuntz, Mark (Judy) Vaporean, Mary Vaporean, Fran (the late Harold) Vaporean-Bussey, Jeanne (John) Cantalin, Andrew (Diana) Vaporean, Charles (Laura) Vaporean, Louise Tucker (Thomas Ancel), Matthew (the late Mary) Vaporean, Donna (John) Watkins, Paul Vaporean (Kristopher Cummings), and Christine (Julie) Vaporean; cherished grandmother of 30 and great grandmother of 26. She was preceded in death by her beloved grandson John Vaporean, siblings Doris Weindel, Frank Rohr, Edward Rohr, Rogers Rohr, and Claudia Merz. She is survived by countless nieces and nephews, cousins, and friends.

Margaret was a lifelong, devoted member of St. Andrew Catholic Church. She enjoyed her work in registration for over 30 years at Alexian Brothers Hospital. She cherished Sunday dinners with her family, and her bright blue eyes lit up with each greeting from a grandchild running into the house. She loved playing piano and was the pianist in The Kitchen Band in the 1950’s through 1970’s. She entertained her children and grandchildren with her singing and piano playing. She loved decorating the whole house for every holiday and hosting dinner for all. Margaret and Al loved traveling across the country with their children and she particularly loved trips to Colorado and Florida. She was a wise woman with great mental fortitude and strength, and she employed those gifts to raise her children into strong and determined individuals. Her witty one-liners kept everyone laughing to the very last day. She will be missed immensely. She passed peacefully into everlasting life knowing that her legacy was complete surrounded by her entire loving family.

Funeral Mass Saturday, September 6, 11:00 am at St. Andrew Catholic Church, 309 Hoffmeister Avenue., St. Louis, MO 63125. The Rite of Committal and burial will immediately follow at Mount Hope Cemetery. A visitation for Margaret will be held Friday, September 5, 2025, from 4:00 to 8:00 p.m. at Hoffmeister South County Chapel, 1515 Lemay Ferry Road, St. Louis, MO 63125.

Right now, Mom is smiling. Right here, she has what mattered most to her those she loved, gathered in St Andrews, the home of her Faith.

Many of my early memories of mom picture her on duty, always busy cooking or cleaning something, packing or unpacking everything and anything needed for a weekend at the farm, or a visit anywhere, or doing what she did getting us up from bed, dressed, preparing breakfast and packing lunch bags, and out the door barely in time for school. Throughout every day, there was always another mess to clean up, a problem to address, or a job to do.

In sharp contrast, I also remember other times when she was off duty, when she seemed to stand back from the noise of daily life; when she had a few moments to look, and see her family; some time to reflect on her station in life, some time to relax, refresh, or pray.

Mom didn't announce when, nor where these moments would occur. She was modest and reserved in that regard. She did not seek attention.

I distinctly remember some of those moments, when she quietly waded in the river at Davisville; when she sat on the sofa with Dad on Christmas morning, watching the mayhem of dozens of presents simultaneously unwrapped; when she returned to her pew after receiving Communion.

And more recently, as she was sitting in her living room chair, exhausted from her birthday gathering, and despite being unable to discern the multiple loud conversations in the room, she was still able to briefly retreat in her thoughts.

Those moments, and many more, provided her some solitude during the hubbub of a family event, or a service here at St Andrews. During those moments of solitude, she often displayed a subtle, modest smile, unpretentious almost "hidden in plain sight".

I wonder today, what was she thinking and feeling with that "Margie smile"? Or as mom would often say, what was her "thought process"? Did she see something that we did not? Maybe she was thinking..."I have faith,I believe I am on the right path". Or "I hope eternity will be just like this". Or even "The only logical explanation for doing what I keep doing is... "I must actually love these people!" (or all of the above)

Like all of us, mom surely had her doubts, frustrations, difference of opinion and then she had to deal with one or more of us when we didn't get what we wanted. At those times, we might have thought "She didn't do everything that was possible". But now we know, “She did everything that she possibly could".

Many... many years ago, in my sophomore English class, there was a poem by E. E. Cummings, that made me think of mom. (with slight modification)

if there are many Heavens, our mother will (all by herself) have one. It will not be a pansy heaven nor a fragile heaven of lilies-of-the-valley, but it will be a heaven…of Blackred Roses. Our father will be (deep like a rose, tall like a rose) standing nearby; Swaying over her, silent with eyes, which are really petals, and see nothing with the face of a poet, really which is a flower, and not a face with hands which whisper, this is my beloved, my…suddenly in sunlight, he will bow, and the whole garden will bow.

Mom did not expect any kind of applause or thanks. Actually, if one of us had dared to BOW to her, he’d better get “outta the way" of a tossed cup of DECAF COFFEE!

During her 93 years, Mom was born and baptized; planted deep roots in her family and Faith then passionately, tirelessly, but quietly, committed to both, from her home, at the intersection of Wachtel and Paule, in the parish of St Andrews. She didn't need to look any further. Everything that mattered was Right Here and Right Now. We know where she is. We know who she is with. And We know what she is doing and that...should make everyone smile.

Reflections on Mother by Jeanne Cantalin

Margaret Mary Vaporean (nee Rohr) - July 19, 1932-September 1, 2025

Good Morning Everyone and Thank You for being here as we honor and celebrate the life of our beloved mother, Margaret. My family is so grateful for the prayers, love and support given. Thank you, Father Weber, for being here to celebrate this mass and for leading us in prayer yesterday and this morning.

Our Mother was an amazingly strong, wise, dedicated, hard-working, beautiful woman who had a special loving relationship with all of her12 children, their spouses, her grandchildren, great grandchildren and countless others. She continued to guide us with the power of her faith. She demonstrated her love and support for us in the way she lived her life and in the help she gave each of us throughout her entire life. Her love, wisdom and on-going guidance for her family did not end on September 1 but will endure forever.

Her father's family was from Carlyle, Illinois and her mother's from the Lemay area which was originally called Luxumberg. A good place for people of German background to settle. She was born in the house directly across the street from where we grew up in St. Andrew's Parish, was baptized in 1932 here and was married in this Church in 1952 to our wonderful father, Albert. Except for Last Rites, she received all Catholic sacraments here at St. Andrew.

As the 4th child of 6 who lost her father at age 8, she had the example of a very strong, hard-working mother who she lived close to all of her mother's life in the same neighborhood. She was born in the house across the street from where we grew up. She was the last of her siblings to pass away. We are so blessed to have had her in our lives for so long. Her older sister, Aunt Dor who lived to age 102, was an inspiration to her. She was not afraid to express that she did not expect to reach her 93rd birthday. I've been hearing certain family say she was ready but we all saw that she fought hard until just before she died. Never a quitter who often said to us that "Can't means I won't try."

During the early years of her married life, this same house we grew up in, was a duplex shared with her Mother on the other side. Our grandmother moved out just up the street and we had 2 strong German women trying hard to keep us all safe. That was not easy. I mention this to emphasize that while our Mom loved to travel, she never wanted to move away from the home where her life began.

She graduated from Notre Dame High School and was very happy when Chris, the only one of her 7 daughters, went there too. Within a short time of graduation, she met my dad in a surprise set-up arranged by her brother, Frank. Marge and Al were a dynamic pair married for 49 years totally devoted to family, self-less parents who always put our needs above all else.

There are so many ways in which she demonstrated her strength, devotion, love and faith that it would take days to chronicle it all. So, I've heard some family members say that we may have to write a book. Not sure who is going to write it.

She placed her trust in God to lead her in His ways but also orchestrated her plans with precision right down to the important mile-stone dates in her life. Notably, this includes February 20, 1953, when at age 20, her first child, Teresa, was born and then 20 years later, on February 20, 1973, when her last child, Chris, was born. Chris would say she saved the best for last. We try to resist getting into a debate with Chris. It's not a competition. February 20 is also the same day that Mother and I came home from Romania with Maria in 2000. I am very grateful for the time we spent together in Romania. It was wonderful to have her with me exploring while getting everything taken care of to come back in one week. The only slight tension points occurred when her frugality caused her to take a lot of time to understand down to the penny when converting Romanian currency into dollars as she paid for items to bring back. We reaped the benefit of her frugality and her ability to do the most good with the financial resources they had. She was able to save while making a dollar go farther than anyone else. She shared her resources freely with all of us to our frustration of her not spending enough on herself.

Mother gave true meaning to the word "home made" in her love for decorating, in cooking, baking, making her own recipes, freezing of jellies and pie-baking from our fruit trees, and in the homemade special foods like her famous dinner rolls, pizza and ice cream. She passed this on to Donna. She was great at designing and sewing, taking the time to make holiday dresses for her daughters, and doing home haircuts for her sons. She found the time to do so much and it was hard for her to just relax as it became too difficult for her to keep the traditions going.

She loved the outdoors and we enjoyed many years of family time at the farm Dad and Mom had in Washington County and in our childhood day trips from the farm to parks, lakes, springs and points of interest in the surrounding areas. She loved to travel and I think visited just about every national park and monument of import. The long road trips with my Dad, siblings and later with grandchildren including Julia and Melissa, were a highlight of her travels.

The March 2001 trip to Ireland with Dad which included St. Patrick's Day festivities the year he died, was also at the top of her travel highlights. She kissed the Blarney Stone and drank the Irish whiskey.

For the Cantalin family, it was our privilege and so much fun to have her with us on annual vacations to Longboat Key, Florida and I'm sure the same goes for the times Andy and Diane, Mary and Donna joined us with mom there. She was always ready for an adventure whether to parasail over the Lake of the Ozarks when Teresa and Leo had a house and boat there, or over the Gulf of Mexico or just to float on the waves even later on when it meant bringing her oxygen supplies to the beach. We have photos to prove how she nearly shut down the beach while people walked around her oxygen tubing and stopped to watch her in amazement.

I know all of my siblings have their own wonderful uniquely special times with her at home or when she traveled to the many states they lived in to visit and be present for important events. She made it to Wisconsin, New Jersey and Indiana to be with Teresa and Leo's family, to Columbia, Missouri and Birmingham where Mark and Judy live, to Miami, Florida when Mary was giving birth to Megan and later to visit with Mary and Megan in Baltimore, and of course she made it the Golden State to see Fran when she moved with Harold to California nearly 40 years ago. We had a wonderful trip together in Arizona after Paul and Kris moved to Scottsdale. She loved all plants and seeing the cactus naturally at Paul's (instead of in her house where we all were stabbed a few times by the many cactus plants she still has). And Charlie, she would have come to Seattle if you had stayed there longer and her condition allowed her to visit you and Laura. She was so happy when you moved back a few weeks ago. That move back was well-timed.

So, while she did not want anyone to move away she really enjoyed traveling to wherever her kids lived when the opportunity arose. It was a demonstration of her strength and faith that she wanted the surgery and to recover and hold on until all her children and many of her grandchildren were able to come home and be with her in the week before she passed away.

She always had a mental checklist of what she needed to do or have happen to "Get Past" a project, medical issue, a worry, anticipated or surprise expenditure. She went through with this high risk surgery to assure she had the best chance to get past her latest and unexpected medical issue and return home.

For me, in spite of my nursing and law careers, she was the source of the most helpful, logical, compassionate, direct, and relevant advice and counsel ever received. She could evaluate complex issues and engage in debates about subject matters she had no so-called formal education in. Her interest in politics, world events, religion, the economy, social problems and in all of our diverse careers continued throughout. She absorbed it all (Except for maybe Charlie's Aerospace Engineering Expertise) and she never stopped expressing her opinions and desire to be informed.

She also had a very developed love of art, poetry, music, literature and movies. I remember an assignment when I was a freshman at DuBourg and she was home on maternity leave after Chris was born in 1973. The assignment was to write an interpretation of a poem for an English class. She recognized I was struggling, asked to read it, and immediately recited the meaning back to me. I was clueless, grateful and had just a touch of Catholic guilt when the teacher called out my paper and gave me an A+ for her work.

She loved to play the piano and sing. Many of us took piano lessons at her urging. Mary was the best and sorry Mary to say that this was the case until Alex came along. She loved listening to her amazing prodigy grandson Alex play the piano. Thank you, Alex for all the joy you provided playing for her and our family especially on holidays.

She remained attuned to all of her children and grandchildren's personalities, strengths and needs. She stepped up to help whenever she could. She was the best Landlord ever for so many members of our family, she provided care and after school help for grandchildren, and most importantly provided spiritual guidance with wisdom and grace whether we were open to it or not. Looking back on the advice and assistance in sharing her parenting expertise on how to approach a challenge or weakness, she was always direct and spot on. Toward the end, she knew her time was running out to assure we were on the right path and she understandably became even more direct and sometimes offended with the advice given.

She used the phrase "Everyone's An Individual" often in conversations about her children and grandchildren and accepted all of our differences and life choices with loving support while staying true to her own values and beliefs.

A recurring experience with Mother as she became less independent physically was her need to be more involved in hearing the details of our daily activities and challenges. She would always ask "Any News" when anyone came to visit and she did not want to be spared or uninformed no matter how difficult or adverse the news might be. This continued until just before she was hospitalized when her physical strength became so compromised. Her mind stayed in sharp focus as she listened to the surgeons explaining how high-risk surgery would be. She bravely consented knowing the risks and wanting to be with us as long as possible and in her words "Get this Settled" meaning both the medical condition she was facing and her desire to recover and have all of us here with her.

I am very grateful to my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, in-laws, John, and my two children and all who were here together with her during her last several days. She smiled when someone came in the room and had a special time with all of us on that Sunday before her last day. Everyone did as much as they could to comfort her and truly help her pass peacefully.

I am also grateful to the surgeon, Dr. Kenneth Smith, for responding quickly and going forward with her surgery to give her a chance, grateful to Dr. Staten, her long-standing primary care physician, and to her pulmonologist, Dr. Tahir, and to all the other compassionate Mercy physicians, nurses and staff who cared for her. They never restricted us from being with her and were professional and caring in all their interactions. I am sure we broke a record for having the most medical providers in one family keeping vigil and participating in her care. I thank my brother Mark, a wonderful physician, for being such a caring and knowledgeable resource to Mom and to us who lived nearby her. He really helped not just during this hospital stay but throughout the many years before. Thank you also to her 2 nurse daughters, Teresa and Louise and daughter-in-law Julie for their care.

Our Mother's gift of life and love is eternal. Rest in peace beloved Mother knowing you were the best. We trust that you are in paradise with Dad, your Rohr family, your Grandson John and his mother, Mary, and all who are in Heaven that you loved and who loved you.

Thank you all for your prayers and love and for the privilege of sharing my thoughts. Sept. 6, 2025.