Nick Joe Diachok

19 September 1929 ~ 26 December 2024.

On August 16th, 2024, we learned of our mother's passing. It was at that time we felt the loss of the matriarch of our family. What was not obvious was the loss that our father had felt of his lifelong partner of 70 years.

Being the youngest in a family of five children, I have had the honor and privilege of learning from those who have gone before me. My siblings are the greatest gift that my parents could have given anyone; my siblings have broken the trail through deep snow, made paths where none existed and forged a bond that unites the family.

Growing up in Edmonton in the community of Gold Bar might have been a formidable challenge however, I was fortunate enough to have had siblings break the path through the Gold Bar Farm Ravine to the local school that we all attended. For that I am eternally grateful.

Upon reflecting on how to approach the topic of writing something about our father, it became suddenly apparent that my sibling’s fortitude, leadership, generosity, and love for each other are not mistakes. In fact, it is quite intentional and purely derived from the love that my father had for my Mom, and for the love our Mom had for Dad for just over 70 years.

Dad came from humble beginnings on a farm near Calmar and Thorsby; His parents from Austrian and Ukrainian immigrants were the collaboration of the Diachok and Adamic families. Keep in mind this was before the days of running water, electricity, cell phones and the internet; so, there were always many chores to do. Dad was lucky, like me, also the youngest in his family; he was always first (youngest) to be in the bathwater no matter how cold it was. He was fortunate to have had hard-working parents and siblings to teach the work ethic of a job well done. Similarly like my own siblings, Dad's brothers, and sister; Mike, Stan, Helen and Steve, also broke the trail before him. Life was not easy then… much simpler however, more challenging when raising a family without the convenience of today’s privileges.

Yesterday, my brother Doug, who has the most physical attributes of my father (great hair); sent me a link to upload pictures in remembrance of our father Nick.

As I started to go through the files on my computer, I discovered that the photos I wanted to post about Dad became more inherently about photos that I wanted to post of my siblings, nieces, and nephews. You see, Nick and Dolores are proud parents, grandparents, and great grandparents to human beings that bring honor and pride to our family name.

So here we are… at the point of a crossroad. Do I post photos of our Dad for his memorial, or do I post photos of the legacy that is our family?

Approximately 2 weeks ago, around December 14th. My Big Sis Linda advised us that Dad had come down with something and he was not doing too well; it was around that same time that we thought about listing all the remarks that our father would say, that were humorous, sometimes off color, and outright Nick.

My Brother’s Dave and Gregger provided additional information to fill gap that was missing due to the 20 year difference in our ages. (Yes, you guessed it; Lamb’s Rum and Whispering Pines at Pigeon Lake was the conception point of the data gap,) so I’ve been told several times by our late dear friend Sheila McKay.

We thought that since Dad was 95 years old, we should strive for ninety-five things he said that made us laugh, cry, or otherwise.

Well Dad you did it… here they are:

In no specific order or priority; and from all your children, grandchildren, and extended family.

• “Dolores… get me a rum.”

• When constipated, “Need some CPR Strawberries” (Prunes)

• When something was difficult to open or undo. “it's tighter than a boor’s ass at fly time.”

• When someone was wearing pants that were too short. “Where is the flood? When’s the flood coming?”

• When saying Grace “Through the lips through the gums lookout stomach here she comes.”

• Objecting at the price of something. “It’s how much?”

• Getting Injured (I put a treble barbed fishhook through Dad’s hand fishing when he took me fishing on the Pembina river… He told Mom to go grab the rum, she came back and began to pour it on his open wound.) He said, “not the hand Dolores” Mom gave him a big gulp and he said. “Son of a bitch that hurt.”

• Dad would shake his head, look up and not say anything; but you know that he was saying “Jesus Christ.”

• “Getting old sucks.”

• “Did you know, a bear is the member of the pig family.”

• When dumbfounded. “Dog Bite your ass…”

• When responding to an obvious question. “Does a bear shit in the woods?”

• One time when we were sailing back from Hawaii on HMCS Regina dad double-fired a double barrel 12ga. (It came apart in his hands) only guy to do it that trip; needless to say.

• When observing our (Ryan’s) neighbor (Works for NOVA) wearing full PPE gear: (Hard hat, ear protection, gloves, face visor and steel toed boots while mowing his lawn). “Something’s wrong with that guy.”

• Any time I (Ryan) was a teenager: “You couldn’t find your ass with both hands!”

• Also, any time I (Ryan) was a teenager: “Good thing your head is attached to your shoulders!”

• Modern Music Dad’s opinion: “That ____ sounds like a dying calf in a hailstorm!”

• When seeing a homely looking woman. “That thing looks like it stepped in front of a MACK truck!”

• Follow up to the above observation: “Where did she get that outfit? Northwest Tent and Awning?”

• When seeing a queer person. “Who’s that??? Liberace?”

• When fishing and it was slow. “There ain’t no fish in this lake!”

• When fishing at the same lake. “I'll have the soup” All he wanted was some clam chowder…

• Same Trip… couldn’t get the Chowder soup and someone ordered chicken wings… “Why would I eat pin feathers?”

• If someone was served Croutons with their soup & salad. “You know what that is don’t ya’…Stale bread.”

• Staying on the bread topic… When Nick had his first, (second, third) Bread maker…a huge modern novelty and source of entertainment for him. He always made bread…one popular kind… Raisin Bread.

• After he made way too much bread, and we kindly declined another loaf… “Gotta feed Gulley.” and out Dad would go to feed his many Gulls.

• Although Gully was Dad’s favorite fowl client he always used to say “Crows are the Smartest Bird”

• When they first moved to White Rock he’d say “look at all of those Raisins”

(referring to the old people) even though he was a raisin himself.

• Also, when fishing at the above same lake and referring to Ryan’s BBQ skills. “Who cooked this? Captain Cremation?”

• When Nick was BBQ-ing and was ready to bring it off the grill he’d tap on the door or window and hold up his 2 broken fingers in a “V” which meant “2-minutes”.

• Driving on Hwy.99 at any point while he and mom lived in White Rock. “Where are all those people going?”

• When he didn’t hear you the first time. “Come Again?”

• When talking to someone for the first time or asking for directions. “That guy wouldn’t know Shit from Shine-ola.”

• After talking to the same guy in the prior question. “That guy is duller (dumber) than a ballpein hammer.”

• Same guy again… “That guy’s as dumb as a post.”

• Facial expression from Dad: squinting his eyes and tilting his head when someone was doing something dumb.

• After having too many CPR Strawberries, “Shits like a Goose.”

• “It’s colder than a bitch / nun’s ass”.

• “15-2 / 15-4 and the rest don’t score’.

• Cribbage, “If you shuffle anymore; you’ll wear the numbers off these cards!”

• When stirring your coffee dad would say “Are you stirring your coffee or drilling a well?”

• “Pigs are from the Bear family.”

• Dad told us about a co-worker that had a sick cat, he would take the cat to the vet although he did not as he had no money; Instead he knocked it out with a crowbar and told the kids the vet couldn’t save it.

• “You never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

• Anytime we were teenagers. “This too shall pass.”

• Raising a family. “Patience is a virtue.”

• Playing with kids, grandkids. Have them reach under their legs he’d back up and grab their hands… “1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready! And 4 to go and flip the small youngling up into the air. (Always a huge hit with kids, tearing up as I type this...)

• Also, very fascinating to young children, which was his knobbled hands. He’d point at them and say “Look at these things” as if he were Frankenstein.

• Having problems opening a bottle, nail polish or a jar that was so tight, Dad could do it with his Vise-Grip hands.

• Another very amusing trick we believe he learned from Uncle Leo Kemps, the “Indian leg wrestle” Laying on his back parallel the child: 1-2-3 Go! And leg hook the small helpless child next to him. Roars of laughter.

• Jacquie had to breastfeed the kids, whenever that happened dad would say “Out come the Utters!’

• “He / She is crazier than a Hoot Owl.”

• Daylight Savings Time: “It’s blacker than Toby’s ass.”

• Daylight Savings Time: “It’s blacker than the inside of a cow.”

• Upon seeing a thin person, not sure who he saw… “That guy is all prick and ribs.”

• If you happen to take his seat if he left for a moment, “You wouldn’t jump in my grave that fast would you”?

• When observing a homely person, “He/She is uglier than a mud fence.”

• Ugly, Gross, or distasteful. “swinya / swinhoven”

• Ukrainian speak “Yackshemiesh” holy crap / bugger.

• Ukrainian speak thumb through 2 fingers in a fist, nothing. “figusmachem.”

• Ukrainian speak “Shedai Shedai” sit down.

• Ukrainian speak “Tagicko-teh” devil did it.

• Ukrainian speak “Sarakah-Dupah” dumb ass.

• “How about a rolled up Five” (Dad would make a fist as if he were ready to fight)

• When working with the longshoremen in New Westminster. “They’re a bunch of hount-fackers”

• After dealing with an incompetent person, “…is as dumb as a post.”

• “Oil and grease are cheaper than parts and labor.”

• “If you are gonna’ do a job. Do it right or don’t do it at all!”

• “Mom’s not there to do it for you!”

• “Piss on the penney”

• ‘What the hell, Golf Bag, Walls”

• “Park it where you found it.”

• “Pass the pettis (Ukrainian for) pepper?”

• “A farting horse is never tired; a farting man is the one to hire!”

• Whenever Ryan was out working on his bike or truck, “Waited till the coldest darkest night eh!”

• Arctic and stories of Polar bears, Wolves, Drilling Rigs and getting home to Dolores for a Lamb’s Navy Rum! (Among other things).

• When Dad came home, if there were 4-5 pairs of shoes at the door, Dad would either throw them out the back door or down the stairs.

• “How many birds are in the nest?” in the context of money you’d have to guess and whether you were right or wrong, Dad would say you were right!

• Dad would move his mouth sideways like he had a stroke at Church cause that’s what happened to Joe Smith, and then he would say, “My name is Joe Smith”.

• Dave remembers one time Dad had complained to Mom about his lunch, that night Mom made dad a frozen pea sandwich; he never complained again.

• Gregger remembers Dad’s fondness of Cuban Lunch Chocolate bars.

• Ryan remembers Dad’s fondness of Eat More Chocolate bars.

• Doug remembers Dad’s fondness of Apple Fritters.

• Dr. Shayne (Gold Bar Dental) remembers Dad’s need for a partial.

• A fond memory for all of us, when you came for a visit to Dad’s house he would not relax until he gave you something to drink, no matter what it was.

• Dad always said “You can tell a person’s personality by looking at their shoes…polished or not”

• Dad would always make the joke that “Jody came from a pig farm.”

• Braeden and Anita remember walking with Dad on the beach looking for Sea Glass, one of the last visits to the hospital Braeden sat next to Dad (Braeden’s longer hair and thin profile) Dad says: “So how’s Don doing?” we roared, poor Dad couldn’t see shit, thinking Braeden was Lilla.

So, on the home stretch here folks; last few to Jerk the Tears.

• Terry and Barbie Diachok remember asking Uncle Nick how are you doing? Nick’s reply: “Not worth a shit but thanks for asking!”

• We always asked dad how he was feeling; he’d gesture with his hands from head to toe and say: “It hurts from here - to here.”

Dad would always make sure to ask you about you… Always,

• “How’s the weather out there?”

• “How’s work going?”

• “Are you still working?”

Dad never complained, Dad was never concerned about himself, he was always, always looking out for

his family.

Lastly, crying like a baby as I type this, Dad would ask:

• “Where’s Dolores?

• “Where’s Mom?”

“Dad” We said, it’s okay you’ve found her! “She is with you now.”

Do you know what he told us?

• “I Love you with all my heart.”

That was him…

We love you Dad.