Pauline Roberta Richards

The dash. A poem by Linda Ellis.

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on the tombstone

From beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

And said what matters most of all

was the dash between those years

for that dash represents all the time

That they spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved them

Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars, the house, the cash.

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard,

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we never loved before

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile

Remember this special dash

Might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s action to rehash…

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent YOUR dash?

Let us take a look now at how my sister lived her dash. For I am the woman who stands to speak

At the funeral of my sister Pauline Roberta Richards

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Nelson Mandela

The life of the late Pauline Roberta Richards characterizes Mandela’s quote. As it is only by falling that we will rise; and rise she did. It is on this premise that I will attempt to chronicle Pauline’s life. This will be done in quadrants. This radiant, jovial specie of a woman ran her leg of life’s relay and has now passed the baton. The first quadrant records the first 20 years of her life — from birth to age 20. The second quadrant is a brief history of the second 20 years — age 21 to 40. The third quadrant accounts for the next 20 years — age 41 to 60; and the fourth quadrant registers the last five plus years of her life — age 61 to the end. She was 65 years and one month when her dash came to a close.

Quadrant 1 (1957 – 1976): The Formative Years - Nurtured by a mother’s love. The first date on her tombstone

Pauline Roberta Richards was born on May 25, 1957 in St. Andrew, Jamaica and spent her formative years in and around Kingston and St. Andrew. She was the first of eight children. Her formal education spans the full gamut of the educational spectrum, from primary to tertiary. Being the first child, no resources were speared on educating Pauline; and this was because of our mother’s philosophy -‘Education will be your liberator’.

Bette Midler’s 1988 rendition of the inspirational song “Wind Beneath My Wings” surely served as an inspiration to Pauline. Like Midler, Pauline also had a covert hero who relegated herself to the unrecognizable background of Pauline’s life while she shone. She might not have “bigged up” this person, but surely this person served as a profound influence in her life. Likewise, Frank Sinatra’s 1969 version of “My Way” tells the story of the type of person our sister, Pauline was. She was a fun-loving human being who truly enjoyed her short sojourn here on Earth. She had a very close and personal relationship with herself and a very small inner circle of friends — which epitomized her character. She was the opposite of our mother, while our mother expressed herself in music through singing, Pauline expressed herself in music through dancing. The wind beneath Pauline’s wings, her mother, definitely facilitated her doing things her way.

Her dancing exploit commenced in the early 1970s as a young teenage girl, when she and a group of young girls performed Neil Diamond’s song “Holy Holy” at a church fair in Whitfield Town, St. Andrew, Jamaica one Saturday afternoon to the delight of the cheering spectators. This production was single handedly choreograph and produce by Pauline. From there, Pauline quickly graduated to the big stage and the Where It’s At dance show was where it happened for her and where she became a permanent fixture. Where It’s At, was the place to be in the 1970s. This TV show featured Jamaican youths who wanted to show off their dance moves while rubbing shoulders with Reggae stars on Jamaica Broadcasting Corporation (JBC) TV station. That is, who she was — an excellent dancer. Her friends could rely on her to catch the latest dance moves and impart it to them. Wherever she was, she found the parties; and once there was music, Pauline could be seen on the dance floor executing the latest dance moves and the genre of music mattered not. Up until very late 2021 Pauline could be seen at the night clubs dancing. This is how my sister lived her dash! Sinatra’s song epitomizes Pauline’s life — she surely did it her way.

“My Way” by Frank Sinatra

And now the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

My friends, I’ll make it clear

I’ll state my case, of which I am certain

I’ve lived a life that’s full

I traveled each and every highway

And more, more than this

I did it, I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

I saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course

Each careful step along the byway

And more, much, much more than this

I did it, I did it my way

Yes, there were times I’m sure you knew

When I bit off more than could chew

And through it all, whenever there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

And did it, did it my way

I’ve loved, laugh and cried

I had my fill, my share of losing

And now, as tears subside

I find that it’s all so amusing

And to think I did all that

And may I say not in a shy way

No, no, not me

I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

Not to say the things that he truly feels

And not the words of someone who kneels

The record shows I took all the blows

And did it my way.

After completing her academic pursuits at the Jamaica Commercial Institute in 1974, Pauline joined the workforce. Her first employment opportunity was at the Government Printing Office on Duke Street in downtown Kingston. It was the tradition in those days that when the firstborn child secured employment it was a requirement that he/she assist their parent by providing money from their income — small as it was. Pauline played a significant role in assisting with the rearing of her siblings. This contribution assisted with household expenses and more so with taking care of the younger siblings. Pauline’s next employment stint was with the Trinidad & Tobago High Commission. It was at this juncture of Pauline’s life that her adventurous side emerged, as she traveled the entire Island, some parts of the Caribbean, and the United States. As a family, we spent time living on Potosi Avenue in Pembroke Hall, Kingston 20, Jamaica. This is where her role as big sister/mother truly emerged. She really took care of us. She sacrificed her own personal external relationships to take care of us. I remember the times when she would go out on dates and return early with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken because she could not go out and eat US sirloin steak knowing that we did not have the benefit of such a treat. She would ask her date to buy her a box of chicken instead of a steak dinner and come home to share it with us. She cared for us. Oh, how she cared for us. I remember the times on Friday nights when she would come home in a taxi loaded with groceries. It took all seven siblings and our mother at least two trips in order to empty the taxicab of groceries. Due to her job at Trinidad and Tobago High commission, she was able to travel. Each time she would return from a trip, I remember how she would open the suitcases which would be filled with goodies for all of us. She was so unselfish that I cannot remember that she brought anything back for herself. To this day I struggle to shop for myself because my sister/mother spoiled me so.

Sonyka is the name of her first child that she had before she made the decision to completely migrate to the United States of America. And when she left to begin that other facet of her life, our life changed. And we who were incognizant of just how she buoyed us up became acutely aware.

She landed in Florida — where she did her best to make good so that she could help us back in Jamaica. Like most who migrate to the United States, her early journey into the United States was not without its ups, downs, and disappointments. She faced many adversities; but Pauline was like a cat; she had nine lives; and she always landed on her feet. She eventually made the decision to journey to New York and found refuge in Auntie Durbin’s house in Brooklyn. True to form, Pauline quickly adjusted to life in the north. While in New York she found employment with a wealthy family who was impressed with her work ethics and attitude to the extent that they sponsored her and Sonyka to live permanently in the United States. Subsequent to this time, she produced 4 children from two pregnancies. Who knew that Pauline was a twin producer — twin girls Renee and Riva and twin boys Sean and Cordero. This is a part of Pauline’s dash.

Quadrant II (1977 – 1996): Motherhood! A life changing experience - responsibility for others.

The singular Pauline became a family of six with her and her five children. Like most traditional Jamaican women, she faced the numerous challenges like a stalwart , and taking from the example set for her by her mother, she nurtured each one to the best of her ability. It would have been easy for some, but never for one moment did she even think of abandoning her role and responsibility as a mother. Not only did she accept her God-given role of motherhood, but she was also, for the most part, saddled with the responsibility of fathering her five children as well. And that she did! She mothered and fathered them to the best of her ability. All throughout this time, she helped us in Jamaica as well. There came a time when my two older brothers had an opportunity to travel to Canada, and it was Pauline who sent the money home to make that trip possible for them.

On her limited income she was able to provide for her children and provided what she could for us in Jamaica. Just like her mother, she made sure that Thanksgiving and Christmas were very pleasant times in her household. Nothing was spared thus ensuring that her children had what they needed on these festive holidays. Being Jamaican the Christmas holiday season was the preferred of the two holidays. Like her mother, Pauline maintained the tradition by making sure that her children were well fed.

She was however, never daunted, as once again her character shown through and Pauline landed a very good position in the Department of Justice in New York. With this new lease on life, Pauline’s and her children’s life improved significantly.

Pauline was a spiritual woman! In her own humble way, she was in touch with her God. Even though she did not always attend church, she made certain that her children attended. Their Christian upbring was paramount in her mind. On Sundays she did not force her children to go to the building called church because she believed that God is in your heart and not in a building. She believed that every man, woman and child would have to atone for their sins. And with that she molded her children and instilled in them good moral and ethical values and attitudes that were to be their foundation that would take them on their life’s journey.

Given all the obstacles Pauline faced in life, as a mother she was an incredible success. All of her children are successes today even her grandchildren are successes. All are gainfully employed and they all exemplify good moral values and are all holding their own in various aspect of the society in the USA, Germany and Ghana. If she could, she would tell you herself that this is to be attributed to her own mother’s teachings. Often times, you would hear her repeat the quotations of our mother; “one thing at a time and that is well done”, 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness', Labor for learning before you grow old, because learning is better than silver and gold. Silver and gold will vanish away, but a good education will never decay”, and when we fought she would say “ its dogs delight to bark and bite because God has made them so, but little children were not made to tear each other’s throats”. Such is the way that my sister lived her dash!

Quadrant III (1997 – 2016): The Struggles! The true test of her Mettle.

After her time at the Department of Justice came to a close, she moved with her children to New Orleans and then to Tampa, Florida. In Tampa she flourished. She was able to become the owner of two houses there and she finished the upbring of her children while graduating from college herself. She did her best to help them to grow wings with which to fly and then she set them aloft and they flew. It was only then that she migrated to south Florida where she became known to most of you. And boy did she resume her dancing. As most of you who know her now, know that she danced and danced some more. This is exemplified by Whitney Houston’s rendition of “I Wanna Dance with Somebody

Clock strike upon the hour

And the sun begins to fade

Still enough time to figure out

How to chase my blues away

I’ve done alright up to now

It’s the light of day that shows me how

And when the night falls, loneliness calls

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody

I wanna feel the heat with somebody

Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

With somebody who loves me

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody

I wanna feel the heat with somebody

Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

With somebody who loves me

Yes, Pauline’s passion for dancing never evaded her persona! Like the song “I could Have Dance All Night” in the classical movie “My Fair Lady”; Pauline demonstrated that she could have dance all night on numerous occasions. Dancing, not partying, was definitely her calling, but you can’t have one without the other. They go hand in hand! Pauline was a very vibrant woman. Her problems did not hold her down because she danced them away. You could not tell that she had any problems, because she dressed them away. This is how my sister lived her dash!

Quadrant IV (2017 – 2022): The Fond Farewell! Thank You for Being A Friend!

In her later years Pauline formed a special bond with many women here in South Florida but in the interest of time, only a few will be mentioned here. Elaine, Everlin, Gai, Judy and Christine her travelling partner. Together they are synonymously referred to as ‘The Golden Girls’. They had a very strong bond with my sister. She remade a family of friends. And she went on with her life. I can only liken their friendship to a Jamaican proverb which says: ‘Good fren betta dan pocket money’ — A good friend is better than having money in your pockets; ‘Dem like batty an’ bench’ — They are as close as the bottom and the bench upon which it sits. Outside of her family, These loyal caring women were her people. Apart from her professional medical team of doctors and nurses who cared and comforted her to the end. We must not be remiss to mention her Caregiver Maureen, who along with Elaine and Ann were there to care for her in the end. Pauline’s family would like to extent the most heartfelt thank you to all for being the kind of friends that once possessed, makes family unnecessary. We thank you for all that you did for her while she was well and while she was unwell. We thank you all for caring for our mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother and Sister! Ladies, we salute you all for playing such an integral role in Pauline’s life. So, on behalf of Pauline’s family I am expressing our sincere thanks and appreciation to each of you for being true friends, extending love, care, respect and dignity to our beloved mother and sister. To do this, we express our gratitude by borrowing a few lines from Andrew Gold’s theme song for the sitcom - The Golden Girls:

Thank you for being a friend

Traveled down a road and back again

Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant

I’m not ashamed to say

I hope it always will stay this way

My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow

And if you threw a party

Invite everyone you know

Well, you would see the biggest gift would be from me

And the card attached would say

Thank you for being a Friend

Thank you for being a Friend

Thank you for being a Friend

Thank you for being a Friend

Pauline Roberta Richards; born May 25, 1957, came to the end of her dash on June 29, 2022. Pauline, those two dates only marked the beginning and the end of your life. But the little dash in between those dates tells of the remarkable woman you were; Mother, Father, Confidant and Friend. You will be sorely missed by all of us. I know that you would want us to be mindful of how we choose to live the rest of our dash. And so as a tribute to you, all of us in attendance here at your funeral will think about our own dash, and how we are living it.

Pauline is survived by her five children — Sonyka, Renee, Riva, Sean and Cordero; three grandchildren; Shawn, Jazmine, and Brooke, one great grandchild; Amaya-- two sisters — Lavern and Angeleta, affectionately called Angie; five brothers Paul affectionately called Ricky, Dukel, Aston affectionately called Georgie, Richard affectionately called Wayne, and Donovan; nieces; nephews; cousins; other relatives and friends too numerous to mention.

I am certain that you will all agree that to know her is to love her.

Rest in peace Mom! (Renee and Riva)

Rest in peace Grandmother (Brooke)

Rest in peace Great Grandmother (Jasmine on behalf of her baby)

Rest in peace Auntie (Renee and Rachael)

Rest In peace Sister (Lavern and all her other siblings)

Rest in Peace Friend (the audience)

May her soul rest in peace!