GONE FROM MY SIGHT

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean.  

She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where? 

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side.

And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

My precious, precious Momsie, I know that in the early morning hours of Nov. 26, Dad, Nathan and Craig along with so many others that love you dearly were anxiously waiting your arrival. I can hear the shout of joy that went up when they saw you "Here she comes!" Hug my boy for me and I will see you, in the morning.  Love forever and always,

"I Remember"  Written by Ruth 

I remember Christmas mornings all gathered on your bed and the famous Christmas Apple - eyes were wet when it was read.

I remember trips up north to enjoy some winter fun - I always hoped we'd be snowed in before our stay was done|!

I remember Friar Tuck and french fries before  bed, and then the sandman coming, throwing sleep sand on our heads.

I remember Billy and Bobby and the adventures that they had.  No one could tell those stories quite the way that you did Dad.

I remember getting groceries in Chambers massive store and ending up with all the food in a big heap on the floor!

I remember needing comfort in the middle of the night - Mom's "Over in Kilarney" & Dad's kimono and I knew I'd be all right.

I remember shopping, then lunch at the Rainbow Room and packages tightly clutched, hurrying home through winter's gloom.

I remember cottages and lakes in the summer sun, and waiting at real estate offices til Dad was finally done.

I remember Bible reading at suppertime each night - you both loved and cared to teach us what was right.  

I remember "Ebenezer" when you knew I was afraid and how you waved Mom, every day and told me you would pray.

There's so much I remember and think so fondly of but most of all, and best of all, I remember ...... love.

Momsie Memories by Barbara  Part 2

Mom was a great listener and source of support and encouragement.  Some of our best mother-daughter chats growing up were when we were puttering together in the kitchen.  Whether we were doing dishes, baking or preserving, I knew I always had a sympathetic ear to confide in. Mom always had a very practical, no-nonsense approach to life and you could always count on her for sound advice.

I have so many fond family memories of summer vacations.  Until I married and had children of my own, I never truly appreciated how much work these vacations were for Mom!  Packing and organizing food, clothes and games for three young children, often staying in a cottage with no running water  Mom was always organized and kept everyone happy and entertained.  Dad was always looking for his dream cottage and at least one day per vacation would be spent at a local real estate office, searching out properties.  It was Mom's job to keep three lively children entertained as we waited for Dad.  For a special treat one day, she took us into the local bakery.  We all put together every last bit of change we had (no debit or credit cards back then!) and bought some delicious chocolate donuts.  Just as we emerged from the bakery, we spotted a Green Hornet parking attendant about to ticket our car as the parking meter had expired.  Money was tight in those days and there was no way we could afford a ticket.  Mom told us to run ahead and put a coin in the meter.  We charged up to the attendant, begging him not to ticket our car.  He told us to put in a coin and he would not write the ticket. David, Ruth and I turned our pockets inside out to no avail.  By then, Mom arrived but she did not even have a nickel.  The Green Hornet looked at our stricken faces and empty pockets and kindly put his own money in our meter. Crisis averted, we finally got to sit in the park and enjoy our donuts!  Mom helped up pass the time on long car rides with games of Ghost or Car Cards.

Mom and Dad eventually did find their dream cottage.  They bought a lot on Echo Lake in Baysville, and Rest Awhile was built.  I love the time we spent together at the cottage.  Mom and I played many games of Boggle, Scrabble and UpWords.  There was always a jigsaw puzzle on the go to work on together.  When the weather was cool, I would wake up to the sound of Mom making a fire in the woodstove and to the delicious smell of frying bacon and fresh coffee.  Ah, such special times.

The years passed and Mom and Dad became empty nesters as Dave, Ruth and I all married and started families of our own.  I always lived close enough to enjoy weekly visits and daily phone calls.  Now that I was a mom myself, something very special happened.  Mom became one of my very best friends.  I deeply treasured our friendship.  
Time moved on and the golden years brought increasing health problems for Mom and Dad, frequent hospital admissions and reduced mobility.  Age brought a role reversal and I was privileged to become the caregiver.  I would visit Mom daily when she was in the hospital.  She told me that my visits were her lifeline, that her spirits would lift as soon as she heard the click click click of my high heels coming down the hall.

In November of 2012, Mom and Dad moved into assisted living at Bethany Manor. Sadly, they only had a couple of months together in their new home before Dad was hospitalized.  He was released and admitted to Bethany Lodge in April 2013. Mom faithfully visited him at least three times a day, often just sitting quietly by his bed holding his hand.  They were so in love.  

After Dad died in August of 2013, Mom was desperately lonely.  She had never lived on her own before and had lived with her sweetheart for almost 58 years.  In the latter years when illness separated them, she would stuff a pillow in his pajama top and wrap its arms around her so she could sleep.  She missed him so deeply.  To help her pass the time, I encouraged her to start emailing me some of her child hood memories.  I am thrilled to have a record of these stories  her legacy will not be forgotten.

In January of 2016, Mom moved from her little apartment at Bethany Manor into the Lodge.  It was a hard move for her but a necessary one due to declining physical and mental health.  I would call her four times a day  just before 8 am to make sure she was awake and oriented, before lunch, before dinner and before bed.  I still find myself checking the clock to see if it is time to call her.  Mom always looked forward to my weekly visits.  We would have lunch at Swiss Chalet, Harveys, Eggsmart or Danny's Fish and Chips.   In the warm weather, we enjoyed picnics at Toogood Pond or ice cream outings. When she was up for it, we would go shopping at Markville Mall.   In the latter months, she would need a wheel chair to get around, but she still loved to shop!  She was quite fashion-conscious and her small closet was packed full of clothes.  Every night, she would lay out the next day's outfit  carefully co-ordinating tops, pants, sweaters and scarves. 

Mom struggled with mental health issues during her time at the Lodge.  My daughter's heart KNEW what I was seeing was more than dementia and I was constantly advocating for her. Her delusions ranged from amusing when she was certain she was the Queen and demanded we sell the Lodge to terrifying delusions that seemed to reflect war horrors from her childhood.  But the most touching delusions were those when she thought she was caring for young children on the ward.  I found this note written in her shaky handwriting on the July calendar: Please put the younger children to bed before 11:30 pm.  Tell the they are safe and we'll see them in the morning.  Remember Jesus loves (me) all of you.  Gramma Bless her sweet heart  even in her struggles, her sweet caring nature still shown through.  Fortunately, after much intercession, I was able to get Mom the help she needed.  Under the care of a geriatric specialist and with an amazing drug, the old Momsie returned to us.  She was able to take part in all the activities at Bethany and staff would comment how sweet natured she was.  They truly loved her. She was always looking out for her friends, trying to help when they were upset, sharing treats that guests brought her with them.  

Mom would often worry that she was a burden to me.  I am beyond grateful that, just one week before she died, she mentioned this to me.  I was able to assure her that I loved her deeply and it was a joy and a privilege to spend time with her.  She told me how happy that made her and thanked me 3 times for telling her this. 

Whenever Dad told you he loved you, he would always say it three times.  I love you  I love you  I love you.  I even found an old love letter to Mom signed with his 3 trademark I love you's.   The final week of November when Mom was in the hospital, she was so tired and weak.  She had had a stroke that made it difficult for her to speak and impossible to swallow.  I hugged her gently and whispered " I love you  I love you  I love you.  Three times Momsie, just like daddy used to say" She brought her hand out from under the covers and slowly, deliberately , one at a time, raised three fingers.  I asked her if she was telling me she loved me three times.  She nodded yes and gave me a tiny smile.

Momsie - thank you sooooo much for your love, for filling our home with such joy and laughter, for all the precious memories that will stay in my heart forever.   On Monday November 21 when you had the stroke, we had plans to have lunch at the mall to see all the Christmas decorations.  You were so looking forward to it.  In the hospital, you tapped my arm and whispered "You owe me a day out!" I so miss our daily phone calls, weekly outings, lunches at Swiss chalet, picnics in the park.  God made you my Mom but love made you my friend.

This is not goodbye. I'll see you in the morning my precious Momsie.  Give my Nathan a big hug for me.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you

Momsie Memories:  War Years

My dad was in the first world war with the 48th Highlanders and he was wounded in the arm in France.  When the second world war came, he joined the army again but was too old for active duty and was sent up to northern Ontario, maybe Petawawa, where he was a guard at the German prisoner of war camp up there for the duration of the war. 

During the second war, conscription started and all men of eligible age were called up.  A lot joined on their own without waiting to be conscripted so they could have their choice which service to go in  army, navy or air force.  My brother Ted was exempt from conscription because he was a machinist with an important job in a factory that would be making war stuff.  But he said he couldn't just stand by and watch his brothers and buddies going off to war and him staying here in safety so he joined the army.  My step-brother George also joined the army and amazingly they actually met each other on the battlefield in France.  Brother Art was called up but he had a broken ear drum that he got in childhood so he was disqualified.  My sister Vera's husband, Bill, was in the air force on home duties only because he was older, married and had 4 kids.  My sister Rose's husband joined the navy and saw active duty.  My brother Harry tried to join the air force but he wasn't quite old enough so he had to get parental consent  he got it and was sent to England and became a rear tail gunner  one of the most dangerous jobs.  When the war with the Germans ended, he came home but promptly signed on to fight the Japanese.  I'm thankful to say they all came home safely.  My brother Bob was too young to be called up.

I mentioned before that most food staples were rationed  butter, flour, etc.  Gas was also rationed.  War bonds were being sold, newspaper drives being taken  that's when we kids would scrounge through our own homes and visit the neighbours' for any old papers, magazines, etc.; bundle them up and haul them off to school for collection.  We would do our best to see if we could be the kid that collected the most papers!  Everyone was glad to do their little part to help the war effort.

We had emergency black-outs with the air raid sirens going full blast and you had to shut out all lights and stay inside.  They could happen any night, without warning.  There were air raid wardens' going up and down the streets checking for anyone who might have a light on and see to it that it was shut off.  Finally the all clear' siren would sound and we could light up and breathe easy again.  I think we were being prepared for the real thing because some German submarines had actually gotten half way up the St. Lawrence River and done some damage before they were detected.  A little too close for our comfort!

When one of the boys came home, their house was decorated by draping red, white and blue striped cloth strips all around the verandah posts and railings right across  it was a beautiful sight.  Of course, once the war ended the street had a lot of decorated homes.  Unfortunately, sometimes there was a black wreath on a front door and all the blinds drawn.  That indicated that someone living there had been killed in action  how sad! 

 I remember my parents took me down to Union Station to meet the train when Ted came home.  His fiancee was there, too.  Hundreds of people and the returning soldiers meeting again  oh what joy!   Canada was a privileged country to have been spared from active war.

Momsie Memories:  Fun Times

When we went out to play after supper, we were expected to come in of our own accord when the street lights came on.  Back then, boys and girls often played together  Red Rover, a game with teams one on either side of the street with each team having a guard' in the middle of the road.  The first team going first would all call out Red Rover, Red Rover, let Vivian (or whoever) come over and that person would have to cross to the other side without that team's guard stopping them.  It could get pretty rough sometimes.  The object of the of the game was to get all the members of the opposing team on your side.  We had fun.  Of course there were the traditional Hide and Seek; Touch Tag; etc.  Sometimes the boys would a baseball or street hockey together  boys only for that.  There were hardly any cars in our neighbour then so we didn't have much trouble playing in the street.  Girls would play hopscotch, skipping  especially double dutch- ball. etc.  At night, no matter what game we were in the middle of, when the lights came on, we'd better skedaddle home immediately or pay the consequences.  Most girls got an old pair of roller skates from somewhere and most boys scrounged up enough wood and some skate wheels to make their own scooters.  These were just good weather sports.  When snow came, we would build snow forts, snowball fights  or making ice slides  after everyone's front walk and driveway (if you had one; which we did) were shovelled.  No such thing as snow blowers!
 
When we had to stay indoors because of bad weather, we played games like chinese checkers, monopoly, did a jigsaw puzzle. read a book, etc.  All after the chores were finished, of course.  I remember once we actually got a table tennis set that fit our dining room table  that was great.  Nothing cost a lot of money but we didn't know anything else.
 
I forgot to mention playing marbles outside (and inside too!)  A cheap bag of marbles could give us a heap of fun!
 
Playing card games was popular with kids and adults alike.  The neighbours used to take turns hosting a poker game on Friday nights.  I remember once when it was at our place, it was my job to make sure everyone playing didn't run out of beer.  (good grief  things sure were different in those days!)  Anyway, my dad won big that night and on Saturday morning he went up to the sporting goods store and bought me a brand new pair of ball bearing roller skates.  Just about the nicest thing he ever did for me!  I often wonder if me keeping the booze going kind of dulled the playing abilities of the other poker players.  It wouldn't surprise me one bit!  My dad could be a sneaky one!
 
We were allowed to listen to radio programmes sometimes like  The Shadow knows, Inner Sanctum, Lux Theatre and when the play-offs were on, hockey games.  I can't imagine anyone wanting to listen to a hockey game today but I can remember the voice of one particular announcer (can't remember his name but he had the job for years) yelling   He shoots! He scores!!!  Woe betide anyone of us interrupting my dad when he was listening to a good game!  We didn't have TV until I was in my teens.  It was after Elsie and I were saved.  Dad really wanted to get one but wouldn't admit it.  So he went and bought one and told everybody it was for us girls because the church we had joined didn't allow us to go to movies. 
 
Speaking of movies  we loved the Saturday afternoon matinees when we were kids and got to go quite often because it was cheap.  They played a movie like a western or something for kids and would close with what we called a cliff hanger.  It was some really exciting film that was a serial and always ended with somebody hanging on for dear life to a branch after falling off of a cliff or some such peril.  If we missed an episode we would try asking all of our friends if they saw it so we knew what happened.  Great strategy to keep us going back.

Momsie Memories:  Birth Days

Dad and I were married on Oct, 15, 1955.  David was born on Aug. 20, 1956  I was told that all my old neighbours were counting on their fingers to make sure there had been no hankypanky beforehand.  We planned to have another baby when he was around 2 yrs, old and Barbara arrived on Oct. 5, 1958  good planning, I would say.  My morning sickness wasn't nearly as long as it was with David (thank goodness -  his was long and awful) and neither was my labour when it was time to bring Barbara into the world.  I had an obstetrician for David because we didn't have a family doctor when we were first married and Aunt Rosie recommended Dr. Borsook to me.  You usually couldn't go direct to a specialist but I was having a bit of a problem and since we didn't have another doctor, she took me on.  By the the time Barbara came along, we had moved to 53 Karnwood and David had an ear infection so we had to find a family doctor  I wanted a lady doctor and we found Dr. Hofstader over on Warden Ave.  She delivered both Barbara and Ruth.  David and Barbara were delivered at Women's College Hospital but Ruth in Scarborough General; and I'll tell you why!  I was a few days overdue (David was born right on the day)  so the doc suggested I take a dose of cod liver oil to speed things.  I guess I didn't really need to because I had no sooner taken it before bed on Oct 4 (it didn't even have time to work) when I felt the first pain.  Of course, I didn't know if it was the oil working or not, so I waited an hour in trepidation until I could time the pains and I nearly waited too long.  I phoned Dr. Hofstader and she told me to get down to the hospital pronto!!! and she would get dressed and come.  She lived a bit farther from the hospital so it took her a little longer.  So we woke Grandma Jennings to tell her she'd have to listen for David and we took off.  Part way there, I realized my water had partially broke and told dad he'd better drive a little faster.  When we got to emergency I asked the nurse if I could use the washroom and she  said go ahead and started to fill out the admittance forms with dad.  Fortunately the washroom was right there but when I was done, I could hardly stand up because of the pain and pressure.  When I finally made it back to the nurse, she took one look at me and asked me how far apart were the labour pains  and was this my first baby  she hadn't even asked when we arrived   and when I told her it was my second and the trouble I had in the washroom, she nearly had a fit.  She got a wheel chair immediately, told dad he would have to wait until later to fill out the forms; and rushed me herself right up to the maternity floor.  I was quickly undressed, prepped and taken right to the delivery room.  Now back then, dad had kind of a hang-up about me seeing a man doctor and my doctor still hadn't arrived so they had another doc - a man! - waiting in the wings in case you came right away.   Dr. Hofstader hadn't arrived yet so I tried my best to wait and as soon as I heard her voice things started popping.  So Barbara born very early in the morning on Oct. 5th.  She had advised me to gain as much weight as possible because I only weighed 93 lbs. after David was born.  She told me later that it didn't work  I went home weighing 93 lbs,!   Then she said that if I ever had another baby, I would have to go to Scarborough General because it would come even quicker and she didn't want to rush downtown like that again in the middle of the night.  That's also why Ruth got the only baby book  the Scarborough hospital was much newer and gave a book to every new baby.  Women's College gave a big fat nothing.

Momsie Memories:  School Days

I actually started school when I was 4 years old.  You started in Sept . of the year you turned 5 and my birthday was Oct. 20.  So I was always younger than most of the kids in my class.  I went to Roden Public School.  I was a sickly kid and sometimes couldn't go outside to play so I became an avid reader.  The public library was beside the school so I had no end of access to  good books free.  I think that must have helped with my school work because it seemed easy for me.  My biggest problem was I was left-handed.  However, as soon as we got to using a pencil learning to print, the teacher  quickly fixed that.  She would walk up and  down the aisles with a wooden ruler in her hand; and if anyone was holding the pencil in the left hand, they got their knuckles soundly hit.  It didn't take too many whacks to help you remember to use your right hand!  Even at home, my mother would grab the dish cloth or mixing spoon or whatever out of my left hand and put it in my right hand.  What's wrong with being left-handed anyway?  It runs in our family  Barbara's left-handed and each of my brothers and sisters who had kids had at least one!  I still do a lot of things with my left hand!  Back to school  I combined grades 3 and 4 into one year  I don't think they do that today, even if you're smart enough, especially when I was already the youngest kid in the class.  So school-wise I guess I was a brain' but socially I was a nerd.  I graduated from grade 8 when I was only 12.  Our secondary schools were divided into 3 distinct groups.  If you expected to go to university to become a doctor, a lawyer, etc., you went to Riverdale.  Mostly kids with parents with money went there because most of our parents couldn't afford to send their kids to university.  Girls who wanted to become stenographers or boys who wanted to be accountants went to Eastern Commerce.  Dad went there up to grade 11 when he quit and I eventually went there breaking in at grade 11.  We had one boy in our class.  Most boys went to Danforth technical school, including some of my brothers.  They emphasized mostly auto mechanics, machinists and other trades to fit them for a job after 4 years.  Roden School had a special 2-year crash' commercial course.  It was really intended for older girls who wanted to finish their education and get a job sooner.  Also it helped with poorer families because, since it was a part of the elementary school, you didn't have to pay for your books like you did at regular high schools.  Unfortunately my parents decided I should go there because it was close to home and books were free.  I think my health might have had something to do with it as well.  I had just started having asthma attacks in grade 8 and my mother didn't want me to be too far away  just in case.  Big mistake!  I don't want to seem to be bragging, but I finished those 2 years with ease.  They taught only commercial subjects like shorthand, typing, business machines, bookkeeping, etc., and they turned out to be easy for me.  Towards the end of grade 10, I often missed classes to go down to the principal's office to help with filing or something if they called for me.  But I sure was a social misfit there, being at least 2 or 3 years younger than the other girls.  The school work was easy but I was a social misfit.  Anyway, I graduated from there when I was only 14 and government rules were that you couldn't leave school until you were at least 16  so I was the only student that had to go up to Commerce to finish their 4-year course.  Everyone else got jobs!  Now I was in trouble.  I was still younger than the other kids and 2 years behind in subjects like history, geography, etc. , and even gym.  Oh, how I hated gym!!  I'd never played basketball, volleyball, etc., in my life before and having a good brain didn't help any there.  You also had the option of taking one of 2 subjects and I had to choose one  either French or music!  Unlike today, you couldn't take a grade 9 subject in a grade 11 class so that meant 2 years of the subject I had already missed.  Of course I had to take music with no idea what it was all about.  First class in my life I almost failed.  The teacher would would put a classical record on the player and we were expected to name the piece, the composer and which instruments were being played  I might as well have taken French!  The teacher kindly gave me a 50% mark because I was co-operative and tried hard and joined the choir!    The other subjects I could handle but, of course, I excelled in business subjects because of my crash course at Roden.  In grade 12, I won the coveted Pitman Shorthand Award  I still have the medal in my cedar chest!  During summer break between grades 10 and 11, it was customary for some businesses to ask the school if they had any good students who would like to work for the summer.  So I was sent to a small office downtown and they asked me to return for a couple of other school breaks.  But that was only a part-time job and when I graduated at age 16, they sent me downtown to the head office of the Canadian Bank of Commerce (now known as the CIBC) to be a part of the stenography pool.  I enjoyed that job because it involved shorthand all day long.  However they started training me for a different kind of work  it would have been a good promotion, but I really didn't want to lose my shorthand.  So I resigned from there and found a job much closer to home (I could walk there) where I was secretary to the Assistant General Manager and the Sales Manager of a large leather manufacturer.  It was an ideal position for me and the pay was good.  I stayed there until I married.  Most women quit work when they got married.  David arrived 10 months later and I became a stay-at-home mom.  And so began a new period of learning in my life.

Momsie Memories:  The Dentis

Roden was one of the lucky schools that had a dentist office right in the premises, drills and all!  Students from all other local schools would be sent there annually for free dental care.  We had the privilege of never knowing when our names would be called in class and 5 or 6 of us would have to leave and head for the dentist.  With and trembling and trepidation, I might add.  We would line up on a wooden bench outside of the office until our name was called.  No one talked, we just nervously fidgeted there and, once in a while, heard a yell from the other side of the door.  Dentistry then was nothing similar to what we have today.  Our dentist only filled cavities in the back molars.  The drills then were big and heavy.  They heated up and made a terrible noise when they were drilling your teeth.  (Picture one of those jack hammers breaking up concrete.  That's a bit of an exaggeration, but that's what it felt like.) It was kind of scary and there was no freezing or anything, so if they hit a nerve, you hollered the best you could with a mouth full of machinery and dentist fingers!    What relief when the ordeal was over!  If you had a tooth that had to be pulled, you got a notice to take home with a date set for you to go to Withthrow Public School which had the dental office equipped for extractions.  So you had lots of time to worry about that upcoming ordeal.  It was a street car ride away and someone had to take you.  They put you to sleep (with ether, I think).  I remember once, the kid in front of me wet his pants while he was under  he must have felt pretty miserable on his way home!  They were just drying off the chair when they called me in and I'm glad to say that didn't happen to me.  There weren't any complications whenever I had to go  just a sore mouth.  Unfortunately I developed cavities in my front teeth when I was around 8 or 9.  School dentists didn't do front teeth because it involved more detailed work, like matching the white enamel filling with your other teeth.  So home I went with a notice that I had to go to a family dentist to get the work done.  Mother found a lady dentist with an office above the Royal Bank at Coxwell and Gerrard.  One of her arms was sort of withered and they didn't  have assistants back then.   I don't know how she managed those heavy drills, but she did.  The drills were just as heavy and hot as the ones at school and still no freezing.  The nerves in the front teeth are very sensitive, closer to the surface maybe.  It really hurt!!  My mother always had to come in with me and hold my hand.  I must have been a nervous sissy!  The dentist didn't like mother being in there but that's just the way it had to be.  Once when it was almost time for an appointment, my mother had bread baking in the oven and it wasn't quite done.  So she told me to go on up and tell Dr. Manchester that she would be along as soon as she got the bread out of the oven and I didn't have to go in for the work until she arrived.  Well, usually I was very timid and would never stand up to an adult; but this time was different  no matter how much the dentist tried to get me to go in, and she wasn't very pleasant while coaxing  I just dug in my heels and kept saying MY MOTHER SAID I DIDN'T HAVE TO!  But mother soon came and I had to face the dragon in her den!  I dreaded every visit and was so glad when all my teeth were finished.  We had to pay the family dentist and it must have cost them a bundle.  From those childhood experiences I developed a fear of the dentist and never liked having to go, not even for a check-up.  I tried not to pass that fear on to my own kids when they had to for their pre-school check-ups.  I didn't get over that fear until David became a dental technician and he repaired the equipment of Dr. Siegal on Eglinton Ave.  He was impressed with their modern equipment and liked the dentist so recommended that I try him.  Going to the dentist became easier for me after I went to him.

Momsie Memories:  Christmas Past

Christmas was the holiday of the year for the family living at 218 Rhodes Ave. in Toronto.  We had a large combined living /dining room with a nice arch between.   We had a good sized dining room table with 2 extra leaves.  We opened that right out then we borrowed a long table (sort of like what we use for dinners at our Halls) then set the S.A. one up stretching right through the archway.  Chairs would be lined up on either side of the arch and at the ends.  It would be set for around 20-25 depending if all the family could make it.  Nice white table cloths (think of the washing/starching/ironing of those later on!)  Good china and silverware would be placed where adults would be sitting and kitchen stuff for the kids.  All the married brothers and sisters and their kids came home for Christmas dinner!   After some gift opening, we all sat down to gorge ourselves.  We always had plenty  mother was a good cook.  A huge roast turkey, of course, dressing, mashed potatoes and vegies  probably turnip, peas and carrots.  No fancy vegies back then.  The kids always got a large slice of the white meat and the adults the dark.   Oh, and don't forget the gravy!  I never knew I liked the dark meat of the turkey until after I was married  that's because all I ever had while  growing up was white!  For dessert there was always pumpkin pie and whipped cream and some kind of rich pudding made with suet (I  forget the name but I think it had carrots in it)  It was served with a brown sugar sauce that had to be cooked JUST right.  Mostly just the adults ate that  I don't like it to this day!   (Think of Tiny Tim in The Christmas Carol  and the pudding, OH the pudding!!)  Mother always put a little real rum in for flavouring and I recall her telling those of us girls who were watching her Now don't you go telling Art that there's rum in it or he won't eat it!  What the eye don't see, the heart won't grieve!  Sneaky, eh?  At that time Art was the only Christian in the family and he had the testimony that he wouldn't drink alcohol! Anyway we always had a jolly time!  The clean-up afterwards was horrendous (none of the boys or men had to help because there were lots of females there) but it was all part of the fun!
 
We always had a big real Christmas tree with lots of old fashioned lights and baubles.  Sure wish some of them had survived as keepsakes for us but I guess they just got broken or lost over the years.  We put it up about a week before Christmas so we could enjoy it.  When we were little, I would lie in front of the tree and gaze at an ornament that had a nice winter scene or something inside and just imagine myself transported there having an adventure.  Great fun!  Closer to the big day, the odd gift would appear under it but we were only allowed to look but not touch.  Oh sure!  An adult couldn't be there all the time, could they?  Of course we would sneak a little peek at the label and maybe a little squeeze  but always sure to put it back exactly the way we found it!  I don't recall too much about the gifts  mostly needed items and not usually what we asked for.  Hey, but times were tough and the parents could only do so much!  And we all knew that Santa Claus just wasn't!  I remember one Christmas when I really wanted a new doll.  I don't  recall ever having a NEW doll of my own!  I was sickly that fall and got what I needed  not what what I wanted.  My main gift was last to come and the box looked like it might contain a doll.  Alas it was a new pair of goloshes.  They were like men wore then only higher.  They were made of heavy canvas with black rubber soles and 4 or 5 black buckles to do up.  They were pulled on over your shoes so you know how clunky they were!  I hated them on sight  no other girls my age wore anything like them to school.  I also had to wear snow pants with them to school every day and at recess time. by the time I was finished getting myself all dressed and buckled up, recess would be nearly over.  Oh the woes of childhood!  I still remember the first pair of fashionable boots I ever had  my brother Bob had started working and he bought me a pair of fleece lined boots that just pulled on over your socks  finally I had boots just like the other girls at school!  Thank you. Bob!  Of course my mother wasn't impressed because that meant I had to take my shoes to school  with me every day..........small price to pay for the feel and look of those stylish boots!  
 
I should have mentioned that the younger kids  got stockings.  I remember some Christmas candies, an orange or an apple, may a little puzzle toy or something and a little gift tucked in the toe.  That little gift might turn out to be a lump of coal or a rotten carrot instead.  The receiver of such would certainly recall doing something particularly naughty in their recent past  it was never wrongly given!  Good job we didn't believe in Santa  we would have thought he was a rather nasty old fellow!
 
But the whole family loved Christmas time and the joys it bought. The good things always outweighed the not so good!

Love Letters:

Shortly after  Vivian was engaged, she and Don were separated by her vacation to Beaver Lodge in Port Stanton and his out of town jobs.  In July 1955, he wrote her 3 love letters.  Every letter was addressed to "My Dearly Beloved and Longed For".  Every letter was signed with at least three I love you's and multiple kisses.  Don often referred to her as "Pet", an endearment that lasted their entire marriage.  The following are some sweet excerpts from these letters:

#1  Dear Darling Pet "Dearly beloved and longed for".  Oh how I miss you.  It's just awful being without you.  I miss you Pet.  Lots & lots & lots and I love you more & more & more & more & more.   I just wish you were here right now because I cannot express in words how I feel.  I love you pet, oh do I ever!  Your letter came this morning . I have already read it 4 times and will read it again too.  I hope everybody is having a good time.  Too bad your knee is sore or else you could be practicing cooking on the folks instead of on me on our honeymoon.  However, it won't matter how much you may burn my meals, it won't change my love for you one bit.  Read Numbers 6:24-26 when you finish this letter.  Your loving Don (followed by NINE I love you's and 56 kisses!)

#2  My own dearly beloved and longed for:  I hardly know how to start this letter.  I miss you so much.  One thing for sure, I never want to be separated like this anymore before we're married...Say, I haven't said I love you yet in this letter. Well I do.  "I LOVE you pet"... As I was passing Woodgreen Church today, there was a wedding just coming out the door.  They had a highlander playing the bagpipes just as the bride and groom left the church.  Just watching the bride and groom kind of filled me up inside.  Soon Vivian, in the Lord's will, we will be the bride and groom.  And when that day comes,  I am afraid I will be filled both inwardly and outwardly to think of the goodness and love of the Lord in giving me you for my life's companion.  Truly the Lord is good and His ways past finding out.  ... Although you didn't say you would write a second letter, I was just hoping I might have one in this morning's mail but there was no letter for me. Was I ever disappointed.  We can't let that happen again.... God bless you and keep you, Your loving Don (3 I love you's and 20 kisses)
#3  In letter 3, Don writes Viv about his work day, and the cottage they are staying in.  After 3 pages he writes:  Well pet, I have written nearly 4 pages without telling you I miss you or love you.  Well even without writing it, you know I do but it is always nice to write it too.  I miss you pet and I love you darling lots & lots & lots.  I will be glad when we're back together again and also when we can go out together again too.  Well bye for now pet.  The Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you.  Your loving Don (5 I love you's and 31 kisses)

This was the beginning of a beautiful love story.  Their love for each other only grew stronger through the years.

Momsie Memories:  Meeting Dad

Early in the year 1955, I had been to a funeral of an elder at Highfield  in my lunch hour and afterwards I was walking down Caroline St. to return to work.  A lady who went to Broadview Assembly also went, and dad had taken her and had just brought her home.  They were sitting on her verandah having a cup of tea or something  she lived on Caroline and my work place was at the bottom of that street.  I  didn't  even know either of then so just walked right on by.  After dad and I met, he told me that to himself, There goes one of Highfield's old maids.  I was only 21!  However, the Lord thought otherwise.  Not long after, we were both invited to a sing at the Telfer's home after the gospel meeting  him from Broadview and me from Highfield.  I happened to be wearing a nice red dress, princess lines, a little white collar.  Mind you, at this time, I didn't even know your dad and don't remember meeting him that night.  But he let me know afterwards that that red dress was like waving a red blanket at a bull and he was a goner!  We happened to be having special meetings at Highfield with Bro. Alves and his model of the Tabernacle so dad came over on Wed. night and he asked me if he could drive me home.  Of course I said yes and that was the start of it.  I felt kind of bad though because he had driven Mrs. Toy and Mrs. Gunn over and he only had his truck then.  Maybe he had told them that he could bring them but possibly might not be able to take them home.  Anyway, he went and told them they would have to walk home  he never did actually explain that to me; but knowing dad, I'm quite sure they knew all about and it wasn't a bad night for walking.  I think he asked me to go out with him that Sat.  night.  We just went walking and ended up at his Aunt Dot's house for a cup of tea.  It was kind of cold out (this happened in March) so we were holding hands; and when we got there, Aunt Dot said If her hands are cold, tell her to go run them under hot water!  She wasn't too happy about me because your dad had kind of catered to her  chores, rides, etc.  and she didn't like to have to share his affections.  But I won out and we kept seeing each other.  On our 3rd date, we drove out to Oshawa  it was a much smaller highway and seemed like a long drive.  He took me to a nice little restaurant for a soda or something, and we talked and he told me he didn't want to become known as a casanova, dating a lot of different girls, and he felt I was the one for him so Will you go with this man? and I replied, obviously, I will go!  On the way out of the restaurant, he was thinking to himself What have I done?! (Good job it was only thought and not spoken or things might have turned out differently.)  He tripped on the step going out the door, I had to tell him he was driving the wrong way on a one way street and when we got back onto the highway, we saw a sign Kingston so many miles so we had to find a place to turn around.  Then he drove all the way back to Toronto at 22 mph to make the evening last longer.   When he kissed me goodnight, he told me not to press too hard (as if I would have!) because he had just got his upper denture plate and his gums were sore!      As an aside, I remember him telling us that he used to clean his teeth with cigar ashes  and if I recall correctly  gasoline?  Good grief!  No wonder he had full dentures before he was 30!  Back to the story  he told me sometime later that before he started out for our date that night, he left his hymn book open at Oh, Happy Day and told the Lord that he was going to ask me to marry him and he wanted to sing that hymn when he returned home whether I said Yes or No.  I'm glad I said Yes!  In early June, we went to another couple's wedding and afterwards to a meeting about  dating, Courting, etc., and when we got back to the car (we had bought a car together by this time) he pulled an engagement ring out of his pocket and we became officially engaged!  Dad was 27 yrs old to my 21 at that time and he was anxious to begin our married life together.  So we set a date for Oct. 15 that coming fall and thus we tied the knot.
 
A lot of people thought we were making a big mistake because I had to go with him to live in his parents' home because his mother was ailing and his father had had a recent heart attack and they really weren't able to take care of themselves alone.  However it would mean waiting for them both to die before we married and that didn't feel entirely right either.  So we went ahead.  We had to come through some pretty big adjustments but we lasted for nearly 58 years together so I would say LOVE CONQUERED ALL!

Momsie Memories:  The Broken Arm

When I was around 5 or 6, Elsie was looking after me while we were out playing.  One of her friends was with us and we went up to play on the Salvation Army's steps.  The porch lead into the main door was just flat with no railing and about 5 steps.  They decided it would be fun to play jumping off.  So with me between them holding my hands, they planned on jumping off together at the count  of 3.  Only one of them jumped and the other didn't!  Result  they broke my arm!  They took me home crying and my mother had to take me to the hospital and get a cast put on.  She was not impressed, especially since there was no OHIP in those and broken bones didn't fit into the budget! 
Skinned knees were many.  A lot of the neighbours had a nice little lawn out front and they would rope them off by putting a stake at each corner and attach ropes to it, different heights, to discourage kids and dogs from running across them, freshly seeded. It didnt work! Coming home from school, a few of us would play at running over each one in turn and leaping over the ropes.   Sometimes we misjudged and didn't jump high enough and would catch one of our feet on the rope or wire.  Down we would go onto the concrete  ouch!  We got no sympathy from anybody when we went home bawling because we knew we shouldn't be doing that and that was our punishment.  Mother would still help to fix it up though!  Often it was a sore lip if we hit our chin and a tooth went through your lip - only time would heal that one!

Momsie Memories:  Bed Bugs & Food Scraps!

When I was a kid, nearly everybody was on welfare (we weren't  my dad was too proud) and nearly everybody had bedbugs.  My mother tried hard but it was almost impossible to eliminate them.  You couldn't see the little monsters until it was dark and then you'd feel them biting!  Until someone invented the spray bomb and my mother went to war!!!!!!!!!  All the beds had mattresses with small cotton tufts on them.  This bomb' was shaped sort of like hand grenade  bluish/grey and shiny metallic looking, but a little larger.  It was the first aerosol type of thing I had ever seen.  Mother got a few of these (don't know where she got the money from) and sprayed under everyone of those tufts and all around all edges of each one.  I remember following her around amazed at the novelty of this new gadget  it worked!  Mother won the battle  good-bye bed bugs!
 
We had a large kitchen table that seated all of us. The sides came down a few inches and a finishing board turned inward made a nice little shelf.  Us kids didn't like liver and parsnips and probably some other things so if we couldn't eat them, we would sneak them under onto that shelf.  We couldn't have any dessert and we had to sit at the table until our plates were empty so that sort of necessitated the subterfuge!  I sometimes wonder if  mother  was onto us because she upended that big table every spring and fall cleaning and cleaned all the junk out! 
 
Breakfast scraps were a little easier gotten rid of.  As each of the older ones got jobs and started working and paid board, mother would make them a nice bacon and egg breakfast.  Sometimes they slept in and could only  grab a quick bite so they would just tear the center of the toast out, shove it down with a bit of egg and take off.  The first one of us younger ones who was up and downstairs  to the table got to eat the rest!  Think any kid nowadays would think that was a real treat?  We didn't even get toast  just bread and peanut butter dunked in cocoa  so it was a big treat for us!

Momsie Memories:  Shopping

In winter  most of our fruits and veggies came from a neighbourhood store called Eastwood Fruits and veggies.  They also carried other odds and ends and they delivered.  I remember, though, we had what was called a fruit cellar in the basement,  It seemed to be sort of a boarded space under the front verandah with 3 or 4 stalls to hold bulk stuff.  In the fall when things were and cheaper, we would buy sacks of potatoes, carrots, apples or whatever to last over the winter.  I preferred going to the store myself.  When the end of the season  was nearing and mother would send one of us down to bring up some apples for a pie or potatoes or something, there would just be a few left way down in the bottom of the bin.  The the dark corner was only lit by one small light bulb hanging from the ceiling and it sure didn't  light up what you were groping for.  Sometimes you grabbed a rotten one  yuck  or a spider would be on one  double yuck!  I was always glad when the last of last veggies were in the spring and we could get store bought stuff again.
Then there was a small general store just up around the corner on Gerrard St.  We bought Cookies (if mother hadn't had time to bake), sugars, flour, etc. by the pound out of bins with a plastic lid that lifted up.  That store eventually went under when the Loblaws opened up on Coxwell.     
For meat, there was a local butcher's shop with sawdust on the floor.  During the war, meat was rationed and each family got little blue tokens about the size of a quarter with a hole in the middle.  Each family got according to how many were in the family.  I still have a couple of those tokens.  We sometimes got a little bit more if there was extra meat available because one of my brothers was their delivery boy.  If you ran out of tokens you had to make do' until more were issued. 
A lot of staples were scarce during war times. Butter, sugar jello  I don't remember what all.   Loblaws would get a case of something in and somebody who happened to be there grabbed their allotment of whatever it was  one per customer  and if they were nice and  friendly would alert the neighbours  that a shipment had arrived and everybody's mother rushed there right away or sent one of her kids.  I recall being out roller skating and she called me, shoved some money into my hand and told me to get up there and grab a pound of butter or whatever it was.  So I just sped up on my skates and made it in time.  What a racket my skates made on the wooden floor in Loblaws!  There was an old lady way down our street who walked so fast she could make it up and back a couple of times!
There were stores like Drug, Hardware and, of course, liquor/beer, etc. so you could buy pretty well everything you needed within walking distance.  I forgot the bakery.  every once in a while, if mother didn't have time to bake and had a bit of spare cash on hand, one of us would be sent up there for a dozen of mixed tarts  that was a real treat.  Nowadays we think it's a real treat to get baked goods homemade!

Momsie Memories:  Family Meals

The ice box really didn't keep food that cold so you couldn't stock up on meat or anything.  Vera used to tell us about our dad buying a heap of some kind of meat because he got  it at a good price (that was before he remarried) and after few days, it started getting maggots in it  but he expected her to cook it anyway. It was common practice to go to the butcher store to get your meat for supper each day as needed.  They still did that in England when we visited the Hardings.  We had 3 meals every day  breakfast, lunch and supper.  Everyone was expected to be to be at the family supper every day ON TIME unless previously arranged.  If you were really late you might not get anything.  Both breakfast and lunch for us younger kids was home-made bread and peanut butter dunked in cocoa made with a little bit of milk and sugar.  Maybe that's why I grew up to like dunking!  We had  good basic suppers  meat, potatoes and veggies in one form or another  sometimes separate, sometimes stew, etc.  Cheaper cuts of meat, of course  sausage, hamburg, giblets, etc.  But on Sundays we always had a roast of some kind or a chicken with the works.  And there was some kind of dessert  mother did her own baking  pies, tarts, cakes and cookies.

Momsie Memories: The Baseball Game

The only time I can remember going out at night with both my mother and dad was to a baseball game at the Maple Leaf Gardens, somewhere in Toronto near the Lakeshore.  I think someone gave my dad a couple of tickets at the last minute and there was nobody at home to look after me.  It was in the evening but it was still light enough to start the game.  I was wondering how they would be able to continue playing when it got dark when, all of a sudden, the whole playing field was lit up by huge spotlights.  It was the first time I had seen anything like that and to be out after dark with both parents (just ME the youngest of the bunch!) was a night to be remembered (even if I didn't know anything about baseball).

Momsie Memories:  The Wagon and Beer

My dad had a standing order for a case of beer every Saturday. The beer store was a few blocks away and one of us kids had to walk there with an old wagon we had to pick it up. Our wagon was a big awkward homemade job made out of greasy, dirty looking railway ties.  How I hated when it was my job and I had to tug that thing to the store and haul home the beer.  Somehow I had seen a nice modern wagon in the Trunks' backyard. This was a Salvation Army family who lived 3 doors up the street.  So, one day, I decided on my own, to ask if I could borrow it for awhile.  I don't remember if I told poor Mrs. Trunks what I needed it for and my dad didn't say anything when he came out to take the beer in but I never had to go for it again!  I didn't know any better in my ignorance of the Salvation Army and drinking but it worked!!

Years later when I was married and had kids of my own, I took them to visit Mrs. Trunks.  She must have been really old by that time but she remembered me and gave Ruth (just a little tot) a Bimbo sock monkey she had just made for some fund raiser.  It must have encouraged her to see that I turned out all right, after all!

Momsie Memories:  The Jacket Heater

Our old 4-bedroom house was heated by a coal furnace.  That involved the coal truck to come around when you were getting low and pouring burlap bags of coal through a cellar window just above the coal bin  (a corner with wooden walls)  clouds of coal dust flying  around.  Later on they had a chute to pour the coal in making the chore a little easier.   And to the jacket heater.  It was a water tank similar to our water heaters today except it had an enclosed space underneath to light a coal fire,  We only had hot water twice a week  washday Mondays and bath Saturdays.  It was the job for one of the boys to light the fire and keep it banked at just the right temperature to keep the water good and hot but not too hot,  If the water got too hot, when you turned on a hot water tap upstairs , it would start with a bang then rusty steam would gush out until the pressure eased.  It used to scare me half to death and I was scared to run my own bath water in case the responsible brother would forget his job and let the fire get too hot.  I remember one Saturday aft. when I was home alone I decided to be brave  and get my bath early to avoid the evening rush and when I turned the tap on, BANG and rusty steam came out.  I don't remember if I even turned the tap off before I flew down the stairs and went outside and stood in the middle of the backyard until somebody came home  expecting the house to blow up.  I was never comfortable turning the tap on until we finally got an electric hot water heater  what bliss!  I'm sure my brothers were tickled pink to be relieved of that rotten chore.  And, of course we had hot water all the time!  Of course there were no showers back then!

Momsie Memories:  Childhood Chores

From a little girl I remember mother hauling the wash bench and 2 large galvanized wash tubs in from the back kitchen (as it was called).  I can't remember where the old wringer washing machine was kept  probably in a kitchen corner by the sink.  As nearly as I can recall, she would fill the washing machine with hot water (one of my brothers had to light the jacket heater before they left for school  that's a story for another day) from a hose attached to the kitchen sink and fill the 2 tubs with cold water.  She scrubbed the clothes on a wash board then put them through the hand wringer, piece by piece, into the first rinse tub, then repeated the process into the second rinse tub and once again into the laundry basket.  It was hung out on 2 long pulley clothes lines in the backyard.  If rain threatened, lines in the kitchen and a drying rack served the purposed.  I can remember dodging wet clothes when we would come home from school.  In the winter time it would all freeze on the outside lines and the boys' long johns (that's one-piece, long flannel underwear)  would be frozen stiff.  We girls usually had to bring the washing in after school and we'd be afraid to fold them to fit into the laundry basket  it seemed like they would break!  That was really cold work!  Anything that was frozen had to be rehung in the kitchen until thawed and thoroughly dry.  Thank goodness for a large kitchen!  Of course the tubs would have to be emptied and re-stored for another Monday.  What a chore and just think, a lot of it had to be re-dampened and later ironed.   All that work in one  day plus  making beds, cooking meals, etc.  And we think we're  busy!

Momsie Memories: The Electric Refrigerator

The people who moved into the new bungalow  were a YOUNG couple; a rarity on our street.  I was the youngest of  nine children and they had one daughter about my age.  So I guess that would make our parents  a generation apart.  They had an ELECTRIC REFRIGERATOR!  We still had an  ice box and would watch for  the ice truck coming especially on hot days  the iceman would use a large pick to break up the huge chunks of ice to a size that would fit our fridges and carry it into to our house.  Our fridge had a drain hole in it to drain the melting ice water down to the cellar.  Meanwhile. all the neighbour kids would be scrambling to grab the larger splinter pieces of ice that would fly off when he was chopping.  Sometimes a larger chunk would hit the road and we'd dive for that!  Just  wipe the dirt off and enjoy a water sucker!  But back to the modern fridge  the daughter became my friend and sometimes her young, stylish mom would make us fruit juice popsicles!  Never heard of such a thing before  Delicious!!  Unfortunately they didn't live there very long  I think all of the neighbours were too old and fuddy-duddy for them and the kids too uncouth and rough-and-tumble  not to mention clothed scraggly.  I think they were a step above us as far as society goes!

Ruth's Tribute (Part 2)
My Mom loved the Lord, and the people from the Broadview assembly were very dear to her heart.  She was involved in Sunday School and Children's Meetings and was a true partner with my Dad in his ministry of sharing with children as she'd help with flannel graph and object lesson preparations.  When the days of sharing with kids ended they shifted their energies to seniors and were a huge blessing at a nursing home sharing about the Lord there.  Mom loved to bake and make jam to have on hand for gifts and hundreds of people over the years have been the recipients of those goodies.

She had the gift of hospitality and every single Sunday would put a roast in the oven before we went to meeting so she would be prepared to invite any visitors back for lunch.  I have great memories of coming home from meeting so hungry, opening the front door and walking into a cozy warm kitchen with the delicious smell of roast beef filling the air. Except for one Sunday I remember, we walked into a cold kitchen, our family along with a number of extra people.  No yummy smellsthe oven had malfunctioned.  The roast was still frozen and the potatoes and carrots were raw.  But my Mom was a troopershe sent my Dad to Swiss Chalet for a couple chickens, quick heated up some canned potatoes and frozen veggies and within a very short time we were sitting down to a delicious roast chicken dinner.  I don't think our guests even realized it was supposed to be roast beef.  : )  She was AMAZING!!

My Mom served the Lord to the end even though she might not have realized it.  The morning she went Home she was able to tell the nurses caring for her that SHE was praying for THEM.  She went Home very shortly after that and has now heard, Well done, thou good and faithful servant.

My Mom loved me, I know that without a doubt.  She gave me not only physical life but was instrumental in my spiritual life as well.  It was my Mom who led me to the Lord one Sunday night on the bottom bunk in my room after Gospel meeting. Even at the young age of 6 I knew I was a sinner but also knew that Jesus had died for my sins and all I needed to do was believe that for myself.  It was my Mom who made sure I clearly understood the truth and simplicity of the Gospel.  What a wonderful gift!  

My Mom would wave to me from the front porch every day when I went to public school, then high school, and even the year I worked before I got married.  Every day she waved, without fail and when I was going through some hard times at school she shared the verse from I Samuel 7 verse 12 with me, Ebenezerthus far has the Lord helped us.  From then on when we'd hug goodbye she'd say Ebenezer! to remind me that the Lord was with me, helping methen wave as usual until I was out of sight.  In the last couple of phone conversations I had with her she wasn't able to speak much but she could hear me and I reminded HEREbenezer! and I know she knew exactly what I meant.  I'm so thankful she doesn't need to be reminded any more, she's WITH the Lord nowhow absolutely wonderful for her!  

I used to call her every few days from PNG and would always say, Goodbye Momsy, I love you and we'll talk again in a few days!  Well, I won't be saying that anymore.  I did catch myself looking at the time the other day and thinking that I should give her a callbut those days are gone now.  I'll always love and miss her, she really was a WONDERFUL Mom.  But I don't need to say goodbye to her ever againnow it's, I love you Momsy!!  Say hi to Daddy and I'll see you later!!

My Dad had a habit of saying, Tell me EVERYTHINGI wanna know EVERY little detail! and I have a picture in my mind of him waiting for my Mom.  Please allow me a little spiritual imagination here.  I know that there won't be marriage as we know it in Heaven, but I do think the Lord will allow us the remembrance of those relationships.  It was a huge loss to my Mom when Dad died.  It was just always Don and Vivsomehow just Viv alone didn't seem right as they were such a close couple and were always together.  Over these last few years my Mom had been through a lot emotionally and physically.  In fact, she was very close to Heaven a number of times.  But the Lord said, Not yet  However, after she had the strokes on Monday I feel like He put the finishing touches on her room and told her, Ok, your room is ready nowyou can come HOME!!!  And my Mom didn't waste any time running to the arms of her Savior.  It's like she was slowly on her way over the last few years and then she just sprinted the last leg of her journey Home.  
I like to think the Lord gave my Dad a little heads up at the beginning of the week and let him know his Tiger was on her way.  I can picture my Dad, hardly able to stand still, so excitedIs it today? When?? I can hardly wait!!  And then their reunion, and him saying, TIGER!!! It's AMAZING here!!  I wanna show you EVERYTHINGEVERY little detail!!  But as wonderful as that thought is, even more wonderful is picturing the moment with my Mom face to face with her Lord and Savior for the very first time and Him tenderly saying.  Welcome HOME my precious daughter!!  And my sweet Momsy's response, FINALLY!!! I'm SO glad to be Home.

It really was hard to decide what to share todaywhat a wonderful dilemma!  So much love over the years and so many treasured memories of my wonderful Mom that I'll cherish forever.  I wrote an anniversary poem for my parents one year sharing some special memories, and I'll close with the last lines of that poem.  All these things I do remember, and think fondly of.  But most of alland BEST of allI remember LOVE.

December 1, 2016 - Ruth's Tribute (Part 1)

Thank you all so very much for coming and sharing this day with us as we remember and honor my Mom.  As my Dad would say, How're ya doin'?  GOOD to see ya!!
It's impossible to pack a lifetime of memories and love into what I'm going to share today, but I hope I can convey at least in part, some of the great memories I have of my dear Mom and how much she meant to me.
It actually all started BEFORE I was born.  David and Barbara were already on the scene and yet they just weren't enough.  Apparently my Dad would look longingly at the high chair and say to my Mom, We need to fill that empty high chair!  So, some time later, I came along and officially became known as the filler of the empty high chair and NOW it was a perfect little family.  : )
My Mom loved my Dad with all her heart and they were sweethearts to the end.  They always used pet names for each other and in fact, if they ever called each other by their first names I knew they were annoyed with each other about something!  Which was not very often.  : )  Some of you may know that my Dad's favorite name for my Mom was Tiger.  I'll never forget the time they were in a store and Dad was a little distance away from Mom and wanted her to come look at something. Hey Tiger!! he bellered out in a big loud voice, Come look at this!!  My Mom was mortified and I get such a kick thinking of anyone who heard thatexpectantly looking to see who this Tiger wascertainly not a sweet little gray haired old lady!!! They were always holding hands and did everything together.  There was never any doubt that my parents absolutely adored each other.  It was beautiful to see and a blessing for us as kids to see that love so clearly.
My Mom loved my brother, sister and I and then our spouses and our children (and their children!) and we all have many great memories of times in the city as well as their cottage, Rest a While.  My Mom made me feel special.  I particularly remember one time when I was in public school and there was a trip to the zoo that I was really looking forward to.  Unfortunately I got sick that day and couldn't go.  So Mom spent the day with me cutting animal pictures out of magazines and making a great scrapbook.  I know I had more fun at home with her all to myself that day than I would have had at the zoo.  : )  

We weren't into birthday parties all that much but one year I was allowed to have a bunch of my little friends over in the backyard to celebrate my birthdayit was a big event and the most memorable thing about it was the Blueberry Koolaidshe forgot to put sugar in it!!  Guess that explained why none of the kids wanted seconds!!  (Editorial Note:  It was Barbara that made the Koolaid that day - mom got blamed for it all these years apparently!)

I have a different perspective now as a mother myself and think my Mom was amazing when I first started to go out with Mike.  I was just 16 and he had a motorcyclemy parents actually didn't make an issue of that and all my Mom had to say on the subject was to tell Mike that I could ride with him but he had to get me a proper jacket and helmet.  But she stipulated that the jacket couldn't be BLACKthat would be too tough looking.  Keep in mind my hair was super long then and I wore it in 2 braids down to my waist.  I really don't think I would have looked very tough in a black leather jacketbut we did what we were told and I got a very nice BROWN jacket, that I still have.  : ) My parents even let Mike live in their basement for a timebefore we were marriedbecause they really liked himor maybe to keep an eye on him?!  He remembers coming up one night at suppertime and Mom was cooking Kraft Dinnerone box.  He looked around and said, What else are we having?  Mom said, Well, some meatvegetablesisn't that enough?  Mike proceeded to tell her that he usually ate a whole box of Kraft Dinner at a time, just him!!  My Mom was shocked but cooked 2 boxes whenever we had it from then on.  : )

As a mother and grandma now myself, I look back on our decision to go to Papua New Guinea and think what that must have been like for my Mom (and Dad) for us to leave and go with her grandchildren 10,000 miles away.  That's a big thing!! But they were always 100% supportive of us and I'm so thankful that the Lord gave them the opportunity to come and visit us here.  

She took such good care of us and got into the habit of saving her loonies and toonies and putting them in empty pill bottles to give to me and the kids whenever we'd visit.  We joked about getting Grandma's medicine.  : )  She also took good care of our pets when we had them and would give treats and leftovers to us for our dogs.  One time she gave us a chunk of roast beef that she thought was a bit too old to use as a special treat for our beagle, Motor.  Well, I took a taste of that and thought it was WAY too good for the dog so Mike and I had 3 meals out of it!!  I hoped Mom wouldn't ask about it but a while later she said, Sohow'd Motor like his special treat?  I had to confess he never had a bite because we ate it all ourselves  I think it might have been at that point that Mom and Dad starting bringing extra groceries along whenever they'd come to visit.  : )  contd ...

Dear Barbara, Ruth & Family:

Vivian and Don loved the Lord and served him faithfully. She was always great fun to be around and kept us spiritually on our toes and focused which she felt was her calling.  We will miss her and look forward to seeing her and Don againin just a whisper of time.

Dear Barb & Family:

 I have worked with seniors for over 30 years, through my time at seminary and in a few different churches, since Judy and I were married.  Meeting your folks in '05 and dropping in on a couple of other occasions, has left me with some very fond memories.  Truly they were a couple through whom the Spirit shone through and were fun to be with.  I think it was about 2 years ago that I last saw your Mom.

Judy and I would like to extend our most sincere sympathy to you and your family at this very sad time.  We know that you have suffered much in the way of personal loss, over the past few years.  Indeed, it was a real blessing that your Mom was taken to her heavenly home in short order.

Please know that you folks will be in our prayers in the coming days, Barb.  May the Lord be very near to all of you!

Dear Grandma,
We are going to miss you. So grateful that you got to know and love your great grandson. 
Thank you for all the memories and laughs, we miss you dearly but rejoice knowing where you are now. Love, 
Jordan, Faith, Solomon

My Tribute to Gram:
Vivian Jennings was a faithful daughter of the King, a wonderful godly example of a wife, a dear friend to many, a gentle encourager and a most excellent grandma. 
As a child I always LOVED when we would go and see Gram and Gramps in the city or at the cottage. While I didn't know her when she wasn't a grandma  I feel like she thoroughly embraced that role and reasonably spoiled her 8 grandkids. I can't remember a time when she didn't have a bag of gummi worms, or another kind of treat in her purse, or stashed somewhere easily accessible when we would come and visit. Jordan and I spent many weeks at Karnwood with her and Gramps during summer vacation, and sometimes when our parents were away on a trip, and we always had a wonderful time. Memories that come quickly to mind when I think of trips to visit Gram in the city are: good breakfasts (bacon, eggs, sausage, toast), walking to Eglington Square and eating salt and vinegar French fries on the way home, English cucumbers at lunch, playing Yahtzee and other games, doing jigsaw puzzles, and looking at hidden picture books, riding our bikes at the school across the street, sitting in the back of the station wagon, memorizing Scripture because it was posted around the house, and most of all  being loved unconditionally. 
As a teenager, I remember when Gram and Gramps came to PNG to visit us and it was so special to share our PNG life with family. It has been a common experience that we were then able to look back on and talk about and reference throughout my college years and into my adult life. It also helped to close the gap of how far away PNG and Toronto are. 
As a young adult, I lived with Gram and Gramps for five summers when I was in college and directly after I graduated. Those summers hold some very precious memories to me. I would always eat my breakfast perched on the side of their bed, talking about the day ahead, listening to the weather, and trying to solve the day's word problem from Gramps. When I was home on the weekend or a day when I didn't have to work we would linger around the breakfast table (which still consisted of good breakfasts), and read God's Word together, have discussions about what we read, and pray. I can't really ask for a better role model than that. When Craig and I were getting to know each other, before we actually started dating  a lot of our time together was spent at Karnwood. Gram and Gramps were some of the first family members to meet him and long before we were married, they treated him like family. Special memories from that time are: sitting on the porch eating ice cream, watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, being picked up at work and going to Cassells for supper once a week, eating KFC on Toonie Tuesday, picnicking at Highland Creek Park, getting my wisdom teeth out, getting advice and encouragement about whatever drama or woes I was dealing with, and most of all  being loved unconditionally. 
As an adult, I was always welcome at Karnwood with a hug, a place to sleep, a commissioning prayer before I left, and love and encouragement for whatever I was doing. Gram was a sweet comfort to me when Craig died and in later years we shared a unique reversal of relationships when I was able to comfort her when Gramps died. For as grown up and independent as I became, and still am  she was always Gram, and I loved her for that. 
Ultimately my life has been changed by my relationship with Jesus Christ  but I feel that my life has also been changed, for the better because of my relationship with Gram and Gramps. I miss them already, but know that she is safe, happy, and healthy. She no longer worries, she has no arthritic pain, and she is worshipping at the feet of the Saviour she loved.

Barbara and Ruth - I was so sorry to receive Mike's e-mail and read of your mother's passing.  I know that both of you loved your Mom very much.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your families during this difficult time.  I know that you have wonderful memories of her, and these will help  sustain you.  Take Care - Ann

The service for your Mom included stories that were really touching and inspiring at the same time.
Your Mom, and your Dad, by example, inspired the whole community on Karnwood Drive, to look after each other and to be the best we could be.
I know my parents, and I, always admired the way your Mom and Dad truly lived their faith each and every day, proving it would guide them through the difficult times as well as the happy times.
I know your memories and faith will comfort you.
I feel personally blessed to have known them.

When I think of things that are 'good' in this world, I often think of Mrs. Jennings (and Mr. Jennings too of course.) It must give all of you comfort to know that she is with God now. I know I found that the faith that was expressed at her memorial service was uplifting and inspiring. I hope memories of your parents and all their good works will bring you comfort in the days ahead. I feel blessed to have grown up with them as neighbours. 
Sincerely,
Patricia Gillis

David, Barbara and Ruthie, you all have so many wonderful memories and of your Mom and Dad and it's such a blessing to know they are together now together and with my Mom and so many others and especially with their beloved Saviour. My love is with you all and I know we'll share many poignant and comical moment in the years to come. It was a beautiful funeral too. Your folks would have been pleased. xox

How beautiful is a Mother's love.  How blessed are the lives it touches.  May you know in your heart that the gifts your mother gave you are  yours forever - her laughter, her words of wisdom, the memories you created with each other and always her love...We hope if comforts you to remember how wonderful your mom was.  We really will miss our lunches with Aunt Viv, but are so grateful for the time we spent connecting with her.

Barbara - May you find comfort in family and friends and in the sympathy of all those who care.  We are thinking of you and your family during this sad and difficult time.  Our sincere condolences on the loss of your mother.

Barbara and family:  When someone dies, their spirit lives on in us.  We can't hug them or see them with our eyes, but we can still feel them in our hearts.  That brings me comfort. I hope it does for you too.

Dear Barbara:  Sometimes its hard not to wish for one more day, one more word, one more chance to say goodbye but you should rest assured that you were a joy to your mom every day of your life and she was immensely proud of you. We can all see that her goodness lives on through you and your family.  I will always treasure the memory of you and I, while at the cottage, singing her favourite hymn to her over the phone.

Barbara - Your Mom and Dad are together again and I'm sure they appreciated you every single day they were on this side.  Our thoughts are with you.

Dear Barbara,
Our heartfelt condolence on the loss of your mom. We did not know Vivian, but looking at the pictures and entries here we can tell that she was a wonderful mother,  grandmother and a good friend to many. She had a great life and is looking down at you from heaven.

Barb and Family:  Your loss is so big and my words are so small.  Thinking of you in the loss of your mom.  Our condolences,

To the family of Vivian:  I'm sorry for your loss.  Vivian was a dear friend and helper many years ago at the Ladies' Coffee Hour at Faith Gospel Chapel on Victoria Park.  We appreciated her so much!

Barb & family. The heart aches for what it has loved and lost.  Gently wrap yourself in the warm memories of your mother.  Let the love that held you close continue to bring you strength and comfort.

Growing up, we enjoyed many family picnics at Colonel Danforth Park - or Highland Creek Park as we fondly called it.  Family games of frisbee, lawn darts, skipping stones on the creek - so many great memories. Dad would always BBQ hot dogs and hamburgers on a little charcoal grill - the aroma made our mouths water as we played, anxiously waiting for dinner.  Mom always brought pink lemonade in a plastic green wicker jug and after dinner, we would roast marshmallows on the coals.  In later years, we often took Mom and Dad there for picnics.  Dave and Patty were able to join us one afternoon!  The menu might have been simplified to quick takeout food like pizza or KFC, but the fun and fond memories never changed!

To All the Family - When words are needed the most, they can be the most difficult to say.  May it comfort you to know that you are in the thoughts of many who share in your sorrow.

Dear Barb and Family;  May God comfort you in this time of loss.  May He give  you strength to lean upon Him and assure you that you are not alone in your time of grief.  Carol also sends her deep sympathy.  Take care & God bless.

My dear Grandma. Thank you for so many special memories, old & new. I could write an endless list of all the fun things you have done for me and with me. I'll cherish the times we got to spend together. Every time I go to Swiss Chalet, I will think of you & order a brownie FOR YOU! Thank you for all your creative gifts, they way you'd wrap them in money. I will defiantly pass that on to my (future) grandchildren! Lots will be remembered. I am so glad you are finally with Grandpa again now. The love you 2 had and showed for each other & all your friends and family was so inspiring and heart warming. I will love you forever - Your Granddaughter XOXO

Dear Barbara and family:

So very sorry to hear of your mom's passing.  She truly was a remarkable, caring and kind lady.  I enjoyed getting to know her over the last few years.  She is home with her saviour and those who have gone before her.  She will be missed.

God Bless
Andrew Hayhoe

Dear Barbara and Family - Words, however kind, cannot mend your heartache...but those who care and share your loss, wish you comfort and peace of mind.

Barbara:  "May the thoughts of sympathy help to ease your pain at this difficult time."  My thoughts are with you always my friend. Love,

We were so fortunate to be able to have Grandma to the house this past Easter.  Even though her health was starting to decline, we enjoyed a very special family time together.

Dear David, Patty & Family:  "In this time of grief, hold on to the Lord's promise of peace, comfort and hope." You are in our prayers and thoughts.  Be comforted in the days ahead knowing that your mother and grandmother is celebrating her salvation in her Saviour! Jesus.

Mom had a very special relationship with her son-in-law Mike.  They shared the same birthday! He was a true son.  He lived with them for awhile and they grew to love him dearly. Thank you, Mike for all you did for Mom and Dad.

I have so much I could say about Mom, who was my mother-in-law but so much more. But I will just say this: I know that I was loved by her and I think she knew that I loved her. I am better for knowing her. Everyone who spent any time with her at all would be able to say the same. Such an excellent example in so many ways.

Hi, Your parents were very kind to me when I was part of the Broadview assembly. Alone in Toronto, your folks invited me to their home on Sunday afternoons for lunch. Joe Higgins, Joe Zybo and I would travel back to your parent's home after meeting and enjoy Swiss Chalet dinners, then lay down for a rest and back to the Hall for gospel. Visiting your Mum at Bethany lately she would lament how she can't go visiting anymore, what a sweet heart she had! She was a real example of Christian kindnesss in my life and I'll miss her. Thank you

Mom loved her weekly outings - I am forever grateful to have so many wonderful memories of these special times.  Trips to Markville Mall always included lunch at the food court and KFC was invariably the all-time favourite choice.  But only wings please - no other piece of chicken would do!

Dear Barbara and family:  There are places within our hearts that can only be filled with memories.  And there are places in our souls that can only be healed by the gentle hands of time.  May you find comfort knowing my thoughts are with you during this difficult time.  And may you find peace, knowing that there is one more angel in heaven.

Mom was moved into Bethany Lodge early in January 2016.  The family would like to extend their deep appreciation to the staff and volunteers who cared for her.  An extra special thank you to Mom's favourite volunteer Patty who brought her such comfort.  In the words of our dear Dad, God bless you all, real good.

Dear Barbara: I am so sorry to hear of the death of your mom.  I know how much love you gave her and how caringly you thought about her well-being, happiness and comfort.  I am sure that you brought her joy and pride and that her legacy will stay with you.  I wish you comfort and healing.

Dear Barbara and Family, I am so sorry for your loss. Vivian was a very special friend who I enjoyed seeing very much on visits with Barbara. I was so honoured to be able to give Vivian something she wanted to do which was to go for a ride on a hot summer day in a convertible car. With Barbara in the back seat and Vivian riding shotgun we blasted off with her hair blowing every which way. I don't think her hairdresser liked me much after that! We drove to Baskin Robins for an ice cream and I will never forget the smiles on her face that day. Vivian my special friend will be sadly missed by all who knew her but those wonderful memories of our drive will live on forever.

The Butler Family:  Jordan did a great job of conveying you special thoughts to us all today.  We missed you but know that the Master needed you to be in service for Him.  Thank you for allowing me to have a part in the service.  May the Lord give you His special comfort.  Blessings.

Dear Barbara and Family - I am so very sorry for your loss.  Your Mom was a very special lady.  Happy she will be with her husband now and Nathan and out of pain.  Sorry for the ones left behind missing her.  Love Katherine St. Denis

I am so sorry I could not be there today.  My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family.  I will miss her dearly.  There are not too many people you can say you saw every day for over 30 years but I am blessed to say I did.  Seeing Mr. & Mrs. Jennings everyday for over 30 years was truly a blessing.  May you rest in peace with the love of your life!

There are too many wonderful memories I have of my Grandma Jennings I am not sure where to begin; from Rest Awhile, Weekly Wednesday Dinners at our house, BSAVED moblie, teaching me how to play Phase10, always rubbing my ears(until i started with the piercings sorry grandma) the puzzle table at the cottage(you always the best puzzler) Christmas Eve Afternoon at your house with the family listening to Bonnie M on vinyl eating mini donuts. Always watching The Price is Right or Wheel of Fortune and for; forever loving Swiss Chalet! 
I have been beyond fortuante to have my Grandma Jennings in my life for so long. She taught me many things without maybe even knowing it and I amso grateful to have so many cherished family memories with her. I love you my Grandma!!! Xxx

David, Barbara, Ruth and families
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.  You have a lost a Mother and Grandmother and we have lost a friend - over 60 years.  You can be at peace knowing that she is at home with the Lord and no more suffering.
Sorry we cannot be with you at this time but due to bad coughs and colds, we are not able to be at the funeral in person but we are in thought.
Love
Dave and Sheila Brown

David, Barbara, Ruth and family-Our thoughts are with you at this sad time.   Your mom will always hold a special place in our hearts.  We take comfort in knowing that she is now with your dad her Hulcoop family has been reunited.   Love Debbie and Tom Currie and Aunt Joyce.

"Mom" Jennings' love for Christ shone from her face. It was in her smile and she always demonstrated it in an absolutely genuine way. In the mid 1970's, I was a young lad who was more "rough" than diamond but that didn't stop her from treating my like one of her own. I was a brand new Christian, saved out of the world with lots of baggage but all that mattered to her was that I was His! She would praise me when I got it right and then scold me when I needed it to put me back on the right path. When I teased her, she would laugh and then she would tease me right back. Her advise was always spot on and her encouragement was always freely available. And no matter what, she always told me to live for the Lord every moment of every day. She was truly a "Mother in Israel" and we will all miss her greatly but "we sorrow not as others which have no hope." My prayer for David, Barbara and Ruth as well as her entire extended family is that "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Barb, Brad and Ruth. A great lady has gone "home" and we are sad and glad at the same time for you all. "Tiger" is now with her Savior Jesus and her beloved Don.
Roger & Drew Wingfield

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Doris Vivian Jennings

20 octobre 1933 – 26 novembre 2016

Jerrett Funeral Homes - Scarborough Chapel

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