I remember our first meeting and the days that followed.  Ly Bao, Ly Phung, Lein Binh and Quan arrived at St John’s airport after a long and arduous flight. They came to live with us for the first few weeks prior to having a place of their own. Ly Bao was determined that now he was in Canada he wanted to do everything the Canadian way which included how to use knives and forks. We couldn’t communicate in Cantonese and our Vietnamize phrase book was not very helpful.  We had lots of examples of miscommunication but lots of laughter.  

Quan arrived incubating the red measles so the first few days we a little disruptive as Quan spent a couple of days in the hospital. We were delighted that she recovered very quickly and very well. We learned about the importance of pork broth as important in healing.  

Shortly after their arrival Ly Bao was looking at some photographs and there were a few of the house and surroundings that had been taken during the winter. That was intriguing and to help explain snow we went to the freezer and I showed them the frost inside the freezer. There was some anxiety about what that was all about. 

Ly Bao and all of the family embraced the road to becoming Canadians. Ly Bao was anxious to learn the language and to learn about shopping for food and other things in St John’s, to use all of the equipment in the house and yard. 

We were both sad and delighted when Ly Bao and family moved into their own home. We were excited for them but we missed them. Ly Bao’s quiet assertiveness was a joy to behold. To watch and be part of his introduction and integration into Canada was a most rewarding experience .  It was certainly a privilege and a pleasure to have been part of Ly Bao and his family’s life. 

Ly Bao will be remembered. 

Another Part 2 of 2
That may have been part of what motivated him to go to Vancouver, although there were other reasons, to be sure. Economic opportunities were almost nonexistent in St. John's and we were having no luck finding him a paying job. The possibilities were far greater in a big city, and there was also a Chinese community in Vancouver for cultural support and stimulation. So I could understand when he told me they were leaving to go west. I was supportive, and even pleased, because it showed initiative and independence, which, of course, he must have had in abundance to have left Vietnam in the first place.

After he and I had worked together for a while we communicated very well with our few words, and I never felt the need for an interpreter to discuss anything important. He knew how to say what he liked or didn't like and appeared comfortable doing so. I think we always understood each other.

So, to sum up, he was a calm and gentle person, a good worker, a kind father, and an independent spirit. When I look back on the few months we had together, I feel lucky to have known him.

Another Part 1 of 2
When our half day of work was over, Ly Bao still had the job of 
language learning to fill the rest of his time. He took classes from the Association for New Canadians and he had numerous meetings with the other sponsoring families, all of whom wanted him and Le Phung to progress as quickly as possible. It must have felt like a constant challenge and I don't know how they stood it so well. But they almost always seemed at ease.

One day we bought some laying hens which were at the end of their egg-producing careers, and Ly Bao tied them together and put them on his back porch, using one at a time as needed. They might have only cost a dollar for a dozen birds because they were not the kind of poultry intended for fine dining. But that was exactly what they became in Le Phung's kitchen. I had never tasted fish sauce and ginger before, but when I dipped my piece of chicken in it I knew I was being introduced to a delicacy.

One evening I was at their house talking. Ly Bao was sitting on the sofa and his older daughter, Lien Binh, who was two or three, was climbing on him and pulling his hair. He tried to tell her to stop but she paid no attention, so he growled at her and said something in Chinese. She stopped for a second but came right back and did the same, so he just put up with her and carried on our conversation as best he could. Seeing this interaction convinced me of what a perfectly gentle person he was: if he had had any bite to go with his bark, she would have known it by then and been afraid, but she was not worried in the least.

Ly Bao hated snow, and St. John's is the snowiest and windiest capital city in Canada. He had never seen snow in Vietnam, of course, and whenever he saw it in Canada, he would shake his head ruefully and say: 'Oh, sinow, sinow.' One night when I was driving him home a blizzard was starting, and I could see that he was actually afraid. He did not want to be stuck in it.

Part 2 of 2
Thank you dad! Thank you for teaching me so many lessons in life, and of course my sisters and I how to drive. The fear of getting yelled at by you outweighed getting into a car accident. In a way I feel that’s why we are such good and safe drivers on the road today. And yes, I even became a driving instructor.

I appreciate you all for coming out to remember my father, Ly Bao Sen, and giving me an opportunity to tell you a little bit more about him. I know he would have been honoured to know how many people cared enough to attend.

Life is short you guys, life is short and sometimes brutal, and the best way to combat all of this is a good laugh, appreciate all the small moments in life and family. Go out and enjoy life, go on that vacation you’ve been wanting to go to, its fine, have that extra donut, do what makes you happy. Hug your loved ones a little longer, don’t sweat the small things and be grateful for all that you have in life.

Thank you
Alex Sen
February 5, 2020

Part 1 of 2
I would like to first thank you all for coming out today, both family and friends alike. Father would be proud of the respect you’ve shown him and honoured by your presence.

For those who don’t know me, I’m Alex Sen, his fourth child and only son. Father taught me many things over the years and I wanted to share a couple of these lesson I learned from him.

One, he always told me to try new things, be open minded and try things at least once. Those words always stuck with me. Two, he helped teach me how to drive.

He was a good husband, father and friend. Father has always been a man of few words. I know he loved us very much but he had a very hard time ever expressing it. He was an extremely helpful person; he had a big heart and would never hesitate to help any friends in need. He had a strong worth ethic, he was honest and in turn instilled good morals into his kids.

The fondest story I have with dad regarding driving was when I was 16, I still remember very clearly. It was our second hour together; we were in a parking lot and he was starting to teach me how to back up in a straight line. Of course, being 16 (young and dumb) I shifted the car in reverse and thought the gas pedal was the brake pedal and we shot backwards a couple feet before I stopped us again. I vividly remember the look he gave me afterwards, he didn’t yell, he didn’t hit me, he just gave me the scariest death stare id ever seen in my life. I remember I could feel it in my soul, it was as if I killed his whole family.

My father died two weeks ago. He had a profound impact on the life I live today and on the person I became. The relationship between a daughter and a father can be quite complicated. Not so for me. I was blessed to have a rather simple, yet powerful and loving relationship with my dad.

Part 2 of 2
In the beginning, Ly Bao could not count to five in English, nor make the basic small talk of greeting or interacting briefly, and it occurred to me that we could progress just as quickly if I learned some Cantonese at the same time he was learning English. We had our dictionaries and we enjoyed our study and the work and each other.

Ly Bao was a calm and pleasant man. Everybody liked him: all the men, all the women and all the children of our sponsoring families. He and I interacted easily and it was a pleasure for both of us to spend time together. He was also a very good worker with excellent skills of various sorts, and he put his mind as well as his muscles to work in our projects. Once at my house, where we were building a greenhouse, the cord to my circular saw was underneath the piece of work I was cutting, and I cut it, making a shower of sparks.

I went to the basement to replace the fuse and came back with electric tape and pliers and wire cutters. I was preparing to finish severing the cord at the point of damage and begin splicing the wires together again, but Ly Bao stopped me, pointing out that we could make a neater job of it if we didn't cut any wires which were not already broken. That did make for a better job and I always remembered how thoughtful and sensible he was.

My own habits of work before knowing Ly Bao were based on working alone. But he was used to working with others, and helping them. If there was a need to hold something in place or if he could provide some better material or tool, he always did it. So one of the main lessons I got from him was how we could watch what the other was doing and thinking of ways to make things easier. As a result, I'm a better worker today, and whenever I am part of a team I try to think that way.

Part 1 of 2
When I first met Ly Bao at the St. John's airport he had a lot on his mind. He and his cousin had earned their family's places on a boat escaping from Vietnam by serving as diesel mechanics. After time in a refugee camp in Malaysia they had traveled half way around the world to arrive in Newfoundland without resources, except for those provided by their host families. To add to the distress for Ly Bao's family, they had a sick baby that was dangerously dehydrated. We went from the airport to the Janeway Children's Hospital and then, instead of coming to the house we had rented for them outside of town, his family moved in with his cousin, because their apartment was close to the hospital. This made it possible to go back and forth frequently to the baby.

My wife, Carolyn, and I, and our two children, were one of six families that offered to sponsor Ly Bao's family to come to Canada, agreeing to provide whatever they needed for one year. We were not alone in making this gesture; many Canadians did the same in a wish to help the 'Boat People' whose plight was a terrible footnote to the Vietnam War: people fleeing their homes, uncertain what awaited them.

As the organizer of our group I had suggested that, from Monday to Friday, Ly Bao and I would work a half day at each of the sponsoring family's homes. We did whatever was needed, which ranged from fixing wallboard inside to digging trenches outside. Because I was working too, we spent an extra half day at my place. During our breaks, and on the job, Ly Bao would study English with me. None of our families really cared how much work got done, and the emphasis was more on education than construction.

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Ly Bao Sen

1 juin 1939 – 21 janvier 2020

Glenhaven Memorial Chapel

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