Nicholas Carbone

Nicholas R. Carbone died from complications of acute myeloid leukemia late Tuesday night, September 15, 2015, at his home in Hartford, the city of his birth, his life’s work, and now, fittingly, his death. Until his cancer made him too tired to do so, he loved to walk in the city, a habit begun in his youth with a paper route. He loved walking so much that even after nearly being killed in an attack while strolling to a coffee shop near his home, he recovered and took to walking the same paths he always had. He came, over his lifetime, to know Hartford’s changes and challenges from its sidewalks up. So it’s fitting that as a political power broker, deal maker, businessman and think tank leader, he was described as a street-fighter. He managed, noted his good friend Geraldine Brown, “to never hear what he didn’t want to hear.” His relentlessness, she added, meant he often got what he wanted. He didn’t always win, of course, but wasn’t afraid to lose, and that made him a fearless fighter for the people and causes he gave his life’s work to. He loved politics and public policy, seeing in them a means to make Hartford, and cities like it better for its people. He was, said his lifelong friend Peter Kelly, in remarks made in May, “without reservation, the best public official I have ever worked with. He never forgot why he was serving the public. He was totally selfless, giving of self without limitation. He was honest and he was committed.” While his public record is well-chronicled, he also kept his commitment to the city in less well known private efforts. Among his proudest achievements, were small and for him relatively simple acts of what might be best termed pro bono problem solving. For example, he helped the Welcome Baptist Church turn around and complete a mired renovation project that was spiraling out of control, pulling in resources, donations and expertise that allowed the renovations to be completed in time for a Christmas morning service. He provided similar service to range of Hartford nonprofits and churches after leaving city hall. He believed deeply and passionately in Thomas Jefferson’s observation that “The care of human life and happiness and not their destruction is the first and only legitimate object of good government.” For him, that dictum would read as “The care of human life and happiness is the first and only legitimate object of the work I do. He started his public career as a loving, but financially strapped, workaholic father — who appeared at meals mostly just on Sundays and holidays. During his city hall years, the family joke went, he only took a more direct role in child rearing when his wife, the late Barbara Gillespie Carbone, insisted he occasionally take charge after one of HER five sons screwed up enough to become one of HIS sons for a short time. (His daughter was too small then to get into much trouble.) After his electorally induced retirement from his $4,000 per year city council job, he was able to become a financially secure. And his children had children, he grew to become a doting grandfather.

Nicholas R. Carbone is survived by his children, Nicholas Carbone and wife Barbara Crowley-Carbone of Canton, MA, Michael C. Carbone, Thomas J. Carbone and wife Caitlin, Carl V. Carbone and wife Christina, Matthew J. Carbone, and Barbara Ann Carbone and husband Don Danmeier, of San Francisco, CA. He also leaves behind two brothers, Guy Carbone and wife Judith and Carl Carbone and wife Lucille, a sister, Francesca Matthews and husband James, a brother-in-law, Thomas Quinn, and two sisters-in-law, Linda Ricciardi and husband Chris, and Eileen Stone. He also leaves 16 grandchildren, who remember him with deep love and gratitude. He was predeceased by his sister, Maria Quinn; his grandson, Jordan Carbone and his daughter-in-law, Alaine Carbone. As we said, Nick came to know Hartford by walking its many streets and roads. The final road he walked was down a street he had no choice but to take. He came to it on April 13, fifteen years to the day after the loss of his wife Barbara, when he learned that he had an incurable and untreatable form of acute myeloid leukemia. He lived his last months deeply aware of life’s preciousness, fighting not against death but for the pleasures of life that mattered most to him: keeping his mind active, and enjoying time his family and friends. Those were great times, full of laughter and fun. Knowing how he would die, allowed him to throw his diet out the window -- pigs feet made by Aunty Linda, no problem!, pork fat and cholesterol isn’t going to kill me; red wine at lunch and dinner?, good for the blood cells. As he dined out, he’d pause in the middle of a someone saying how much they loved him and would miss him, and with a delightful grin that bucked up his companions, say that not many people got to enjoy their own wake, but that he was. Which is why he asked that there be no wake at his passing. But he didn’t think to say we couldn’t do a memorial instead. And so his family plans a formal celebration and memorial of Nick’s life to be held on Saturday, December 19, from 11 am - 1 pm at The Bushnell Center for the Performing Arts on Capital Avenue in Hartford.

On Thursday, September 24 at 10 AM, a memorial mass will be held at The Cathedral of St. Joseph, 140 Farmington Avenue, Hartford, Connecticut 06105. Donations in Nick’s memory may be made to the Cherish the Children Foundation, a fully volunteer organization co-founded by his sister Maria and her children, with an address at PO Box 128, Glastonbury, CT 06033. Funeral arrangements by the D’Esopo Funeral Chapel. There are so many stories of Nick that his grandchildren, family and friends have not yet heard, to share yours, please visit www.desopo.com.