“ not just a cousin, but a college roommate and friend! everyone who knew Harvey, knew what a fun loving & live life to the fullest kind of guy. 

1/4
Our dad was the best person in the world. The best dad, brother, son, uncle, cousin, nephew, and friend. He’ll always be my Superman. 
It’s so surreal that I’m even writing this now. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I’m still trying to process that I can’t call him tomorrow or have him walk me and my little sister down the aisle, and meet our future kids. Because our dad would have been the absolute best grandpa. Not just because he was the most caring, sweet, generous, silly, sensitive, fun, and loving person, but also because we all know he was the BIGGEST little kid at heart. I promised him that our future children will know how amazing he was and how much he would have loved them.

I’m heartbroken for all of the moments we won’t get to spend with him but as sad as these last few months have been, they’ve also been the best and most beautiful memories I’ll ever have of him. They were honest. And I’ll cherish them forever. 

I know we had some hard years in between but I hope you knew that I loved you every moment even when I was mad at you. And it might have taken me some time to fully understand why, but I’m so happy that I did this past year. It made our time together even more special in learning about who you are. Because now looking back at the hard times, it just shows how unbelievably strong you really were. You were amazing. As hard as you fought through cancer, I see now that you fought just as hard for mine and Jessies love. In your own way. The best way you could. And quite honestly, the only way you could. And I think that’s the biggest heartbreak of all. I’m so grateful for everything you’ve overcome in life and I hope the best gift we could give you is for you to see that we DID see it and I’ll spend the rest of my life knowing how much you loved us. And truly loving you just as much as you loved us.

2/4

We were so much alike. I used to laugh when he would say that and thought he just meant by how we looked on the outside. But the other day he was crying of happiness and of course, that made me cry too—and he called me Harvey Jr. In that moment, I couldn’t have been more proud to be just like him. I had never seen him so strong and brave. And he was so STRONG. I don’t just mean with sports or lifting weights, or his battle with cancer, but he taught me how to be brave and strong with my emotions too. Maybe he needed a little encouragement and he might not have even realized it but I learned from him. I watched how he treated others and he made me want to always treat others the way I wanted to be treated. When I hear stories about how my dad made others feel, I’ve never been so proud of my dad. I try to do that everyday. 

Everybody that I meet says, “Your dad is Harvey Lerner?! He was the first guy to hit a home run over the mess hall at camp Ojibwa.  And He was the best athlete! Every girl had a crush on him.” “I’ve never laughed as hard as I did or had as much fun as I did when I was around Harvey.”
My dad had this incredible superpower to make anyone he was around feel so incredibly special. That was probably my favorite thing about him.

I know our dad was loved and adored by everyone he crossed paths with in his life. Some were lucky enough to see how big of a heart he had, too. He wasn’t just spectacular on the outside, but who he was on the inside was even more special. Even when he was going through a hard time, you would never know it because he would have the biggest smile on his face. And that wasn’t even for himself, that was to make whoever he was around happy. He was immensely sensitive in the best way possible. Even if we missed out on some time together, I knew my dad to his core. I knew when he was worried about something even if he wouldn’t say it. I felt it. Just like him. He was empathetic. 

I ran into Harvey at the reunion a couple of years ago and he looked great!same old Harv,we talked about playing football at the reservoir and him kicking my butt in basketball in his driveway during sleepovers when we were kids...good times.a good friend and a great person...Iwill never forget!!!

4/4

He just had this infectious, fun and loving way about him. He would just smile or crack a joke or make you laugh in some goofy way and you would forget what even upset you in the first place.

One of my other favorite things about my dad was his love for his little brother, my uncle Jay. He loved my uncle Soo much. We all need a little extra help sometimes in life and my uncle was always there for him. And my uncles wife, our aunt Karen. And my dad knew that. Even now he’s still there for him. My dad always said look out for your little sister. Always. She comes first. I had never seen my dad as strong as when he was talking about his love for his brother. He said to me, “When I hurt, that means Jay is hurting too.” And that’s what showed me that love like that isn’t a one way street. It’s always reciprocated. Even if it’s shown in different ways and man was it shown in different ways, everybody knew how much they loved each other. Dad, I know you would want me to be brave for Jessie right now but you would be so proud of how strong she has been and how much she’s been taking care of me too. I hope you’ll always see the same love with us as what you and uncle Jay had. Thank you for teaching me that as the greatest lesson of all. 

I’m sad I won’t have more time to show you how special you were to me and Jessie but I promise I’ll do my best to be more like you every day I live. 

I’ll also do my best to live in the moment and have FUN just like you.

Thank you for giving me your compassion, empathy, goofiness, good taste, sensitivity, and most of all, your face. Because of that, I know you’ll always be here with us because I have your heart and you have mine. Always.

3/4

And showed me that what you see on the outside isn’t always what’s on the inside. I am forever changed by you. 

Change is hard, you taught me that. I want to always be open to people and I understand now that people might be going through something on the inside that you might not know about. And that reflects the actions they take on the outside. 
Dad, you showed me that it’s important to always be open to learning how to communicate and be open to somebody else’s way of showing love— the beautiful and unique way of their own kind of love. Because everybody is different, nobody is the exact same. We can’t communicate the same way and expect the same outcome for every relationship. Dad, you might not even realize it but you did that for everybody.

Now I see that that’s why you were always the BEST sales person. You were yourself around everyone yet you spoke to each person the way they needed to be spoken to. You understood people. You just got them. Took me a little more time but I get you. One of your many beautiful life lessons that I will carry with me every day.

I’m so grateful that I got to see every part of who our dad was. Because even the parts that he might have thought were “bad” were actually beautiful and so Harvey.

Sometimes my Dad did something to upset me. Whenever he did, he got this pained look on his face, he felt so bad, and he’d do anything to make me feel happy again. If that anger ever persisted, he’d always, always find the smallest thing to make me smile again. Things that never should matter, except for the way that dad found a magical way to make them matter to me. 

I hadn’t spoken to Harvey for almost 40 years when he called me out of the blue a couple years ago. We reminisced about all the sports we participated in together and had some laughs. Same Harvey, great guy. I’ll always think of him as a real mensch on the sports field. I was very sorry to hear the news. My sincere condolences to the Lerner family. Jim Burke Dublin, Ohio 

My deepest Sympathy to the family. Harvey was an incredible jeweler and made a designer ring that I receive compliments on to this day! He was a lovable, fun guy and will be missed with fond memories❣️
MaryLynn Czerwinski-Martin
Scottsdale, AZ

Harvey was a great athlete, but a better person.

He was one of the sweetest, most respectful campers that I ever had at Ojibwa. He was everyone's friend.

He will be missed.

Bob Kaufman

My husband and I knew Harvey from tennis and we are very sad to hear of his passing since he fought so hard to beat it and never gave up.  He was such a character with his stories and personality and will be greatly missed.  Lost a fun and good tennis player today and hope heaven gives him lots of tennis and golf balls to play with!

I grew up a few doors down from the Lerners and spent three years at Ojibwa with Harvey and Jay.  Harvey was dominant in virtually all sports, whether as an individual or part of a team sport.  I was younger by 3 years and part of the “little kids group”, while the kids 3 years older were part of the “big kids” group.  Harvey made you better at sports, because you had to be good to compete.

At Braves Night at Ojibwa, you are around a fire in a circle and the older kids vote whether to let you into the Braves, usually when you are 10 years old.  The ritual that we didn’t know was that you were voted down and then allowed in later away from the fire gathering.  My vote total was tied with only Harvey left to vote, which left all of us confused when he voted No.  “Thanks, Harv” I said as I ran away.  Later he explained what an awful position he was in, since the vote had to go against me, yet he knew me so well that he should have been obvious yes vote.  The others had put him in that position and he felt awful.  One bond that was a little unique, since he was 3 years older.

This news is very hard to hear, and my condolences to Jay and Harvey’s family.

I grew up two doors away from Harvey and his family. He was the best natural athlete I knew and had a very big heart. I have great memories of chasing down the home runs he hit over my head and trying in vain to catch him as he ran for touchdown after touchdown. I'm so sad to hear of his passing and send my deepest sympathies to his family.

Harvey was a close friend and neighbor growing up in Highland Park.  I will always remember our late night backyard games.  My condolences to Harvey's family.  With Love, Allison Portman


AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Harvey Scott Lerner

27 mars 1959 – 24 janvier 2021

Weinstein & Piser Funeral Home

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