Helen Stivaletti

Helen Fern Stivaletti lived a generous and principled life. Born in Washington, D.C., on Valentine's Day of 1933, she grew up in the Maryland suburbs and took the bus into the District of Columbia to attend McKinley Technical High School. There she met her future husband, Joseph Stivaletti. They dated while Helen attended the University of Maryland and Joe studied at Catholic University. When Helen’s parents moved to Los Angeles, she transferred to Pepperdine College, and Joe secured a job in California. Helen and Joe married in Los Angeles on December 11, 1954, and spent their honeymoon driving up the Pacific Coast Highway, with Helen speeding at the wheel of her mother’s baby blue Cadillac convertible. Helen and Joe enjoyed 71 years of marriage, and remained devoted to each other throughout. After Joe retired, the couple became inseparable.

After Helen's graduation in May 1955, the couple returned to the Washington area and lived briefly in the Mount Vernon area. Their first daughter, Teri, was born during that time in 1957. Helen was delighted to settle into a brand-new home in Silver Spring, Maryland, shortly before the birth of their second daughter, Cathy. She was a meticulous housekeeper, and no weeds dared to appear on her lawn. Helen even sewed matching outfits for her and her daughters. In 1962, Joe Jr.’s birth completed the family. Helen and Joe built a small summer house on the Chesapeake Bay, where Helen relaxed during the summers with her children, welcoming relatives but also enjoying not having a phone.

Eventually, the family returned to the Mount Vernon area and chose a house close to Helen’s parents, Elizabeth and James Norton. The family spent many happy times with the grandparents over the next twenty years. In the 1970s, Helen taught fourth and fifth grade at St. Mary’s School in Alexandria. For decades after, students would see her around town and ask if she remembered them. Helen may not have recognized them as adults, but she said she did. She was always glad to hear about their lives After she left St. Mary’s, Helen taught in the Loudoun County school system for another decade.

In retirement, Helen helped care for many elderly relatives on both sides of the family as they aged. She was unstintingly devoted to the care of her mother, driving 45 minutes each way daily to visit her. When her daughter Cathy became ill, Helen was unwavering in caring for her and rarely left her side. Catharine Ruder died in May. 1994. Helen remained close to Cathy's husband, Stephen, for the rest of her life.

Also in retirement, Helen and Joe spent a significant amount of time with their son Joe (aka Joey) and his partner, Julia LaVolpe. In the summers, this meant lots of time at the beach in Southampton, NY. In the winter months, there were visits to New York City around various holidays, especially the yearly visit to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade from the windows of Joe and Julie's apartment while enjoying Julie's many baked goods.

Helen’s grandchildren, Andrew, Kevin, and Grace Garrahan, were the recipients of her generous spirit. She was very involved in their lives, babysitting often and taking them on trips to the beach. Every holiday and birthday was celebrated with a shower of gifts and cards that put Santa to shame. Helen and Joe attended many of their activities, even if it was a sport Helen knew nothing about. She started a tradition of sending them each what she called a “lunch money” check every month once they reached high school, a tradition she continued until her death, when her oldest grandchild was 42! When great-grandsons George and Henry were born to Andrew and Emily, Helen was delighted. She was able to watch them grow up in Alexandria through their elementary school years, and she loved it when the family met up at Chadwick’s in Old Town on Monday nights. Great-grandson Charlie, born to Kevin and Beth, was the most recent addition to the family, and Helen was over the moon when he visited her from Chicago last year. Helen loved her family deeply and joyfully.

A Funeral Mass will be held at Good Shepherd Roman Catholic Church, 8710 Mount Vernon Hwy, Alexandria, VA 22309 on March 20, 2026, at 10:30am. A Graveside Service will follow immediately at St. Mary’s Cemetery, 1000 S Royal St, Alexandria, VA 22314. All are invited to a luncheon reception at Belle Haven Country Club, 6023 Fort Hunt Road, Alexandria, VA 22307, following the services.