I remember meeting Mary and Joe in Antigua and watching the sun set from their lovely home up above Halcyon Cove, in the mid-1980’s. Always great fun to be with, and gracious hosts. A highlight one year was to follow the Halcyon Cove to English Harbor leg of the Antigua sailing week. Unforgettable day. Even though it was so long ago they left a great impression and memories fondly recalled. My condolences to  all the family and friends. 

Mary officially became my mother-in-law when I married Adam, in 1989, but I had known her for many years before. She will always be remembered with love, as well as compassion for the long struggle she had with her health. 

For Mary, Peter, and all the grandchildren, I'm sure it has been extremely difficult to watch someone you love suffer so much, especially for such a very long time. We can sometimes wonder why it should be so, and I certainly have no answer. I can only imagine the conflict you must feel now. The sadness of losing a mother or grandmother is always profound, and Mary's absence feels palpable, even to me. Yet to watch her suffer so much must have been so painful that the emotions are bound to be a confusing mix. 

Please know you are not alone. I am glad that Adam, Mary, and Peter have each other, as well as the love of their extended family. I am thinking of all of you often. Of course, "time will heal," but that can be little comfort when the emotional wound is raw. I hope you all can find comfort in each other. 

Mary, I know your mother's loss is especially difficult for you, having been by her side so much during the difficult years. Having gone through a "long goodbye" with my own mother, I feel great empathy for what you are going through. I know you will need a lot of rest to recover from your long goodbye, but for now, I hope Adam, Peter, your kids, and the rest of the family can be a shoulder to cry on. Your tears now have been building for a long time. 

I've always liked the Native American proverb that says: 

     If the eyes had no tears, 
     the soul would have no rainbow. 

Even so, it may sound hollow right now. 

To all of you experiencing a profound sense of loss and/or confusion right now, I hope you can allow yourselves to feel whatever emotions come up and the time to just feel the sadness. I promise it will get better! 

I'm thinking of you with love, and your mother — or Gran — will always be in my heart.


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Mary Travers

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Mary Johanna Travers

October 7, 1926 – December 23, 2018

John M. Taylor Funeral Home

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