Daesene Graf Willmann

Daesene Graf Willmann died on July 22, 2026 in Austin, Texas, following a long battle with dementia. Beloved mother, sister, aunt, cousin and friend, Daesene was vibrant, brave and generous. Always eager to help others, she did her utmost to make the world a better place.

Daesene is survived by her children Mary and Carl; grandchildren Sarah, Rose and Peter; and siblings Otis Graf, Jr., Dianne Berman, and Kermit Graf. Her sister Mary and brother Charles preceded her in death.

Born Daesene Yvonne Graf in Houston on December 10, 1940, she was the first child of Estelle Margaret Oberrender and Otis Frederick Graf. She had five younger siblings: Otis Jr., Dianne, Mary, Kermit and Charles.

Daesene’s life unfolded in many chapters: her earliest years were spent between a farm in Bishop and a suburban house in Spring Branch, Houston. As a girl, Daesene loved exploring the world on her bicycle.

Daesene was a churchgoer all her life. She and her family worshipped at Zion Lutheran Church and Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Houston. Daesene sang in a junior church choir from the age of 14, and she, Dianne and Mary sang together at church as “The Graf Sisters”. They also sang at home for visitors, with Dianne accompanying them on piano.

Being the eldest of six instilled a sense of responsibility in Daesene. In high school she received a Lutheran Brotherhood Youth Leadership Award, which destined her to be a leader.

She earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology from Texas Lutheran College in Seguin in 1963. Daesene and Rudy Willmann met at TLC, married in Houston and settled in Austin, where Mary was born in 1965. When Rudy took a job at NASA, the family moved to Alvin, and Carl was born in 1968.

During her time in Alvin, Daesene developed an awareness of civil rights and social justice. She went door to door in underserved parts of the community, registering people to vote and connecting women and children with health care.

In 1970, the family moved to Boston, Massachusetts, where they were swept up in a rapidly changing world. Daesene joined a consciousness-raising singing group, the Women’s Caucus, founded at the Arlington Street Unitarian Universalist Church. The Women’s Caucus wrote poetry and songs, performed at venues and conventions across the country, and recorded two albums. For Daesene, it was a perfect fit.

Daesene and Rudy divorced, and in 1973 she, Mary and Carl joined a community in a majestic old Spanish Consulate building in Boston, Massachusetts. This lively, idealistic, intentional community, known as the Spanish House, became extremely important to Daesene, and deeply influenced the remainder of her life.

Daesene earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing from Boston College and entered nursing with a first job in the profession at Boston Hospital for Women.

In 1975 Daesene, her children and Michael Goldman moved to rural Northeastern Connecticut, where she worked at the Visiting Nurse Association, caring for people in their homes. Daesene’s activism continued. She became a member of the local chapter of the League of Women Voters. She sang in a choir, and joined the Unitarian Universalist Society of Brooklyn, Connecticut, one of the oldest churches in the country. She and Michael grew vegetables, raised sheep and kept ducks. During the Blizzard of 1978, Daesene strapped on snowshoes and ventured to a nearby farm for milk. It was in this beautiful landscape that she began birdwatching in earnest.

In 1979, Daesene and the children returned to Austin, Texas, which would remain her home until her death. She was deeply involved with family. Many wonderful days were spent together with her parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. The Bellheim estate of her late father Otis Sr. and stepmother Elizabeth was an especially important place for Daesene.

She was very active in the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Austin, serving on the First UU board, and also as its board president. Of course, she sang in the church choir.

Daesene’s nursing career in Austin included clinical and management positions at NurseFinders, Seton Home Care and the Austin State Hospital. Geriatric psychiatric nursing was her specialty.

Around 1995, Daesene retired from nursing. She volunteered for many years at AMBIS (Austin Memorial and Burial Information Society), later known as the FCA (Funeral Consumers Alliance), a public nonprofit consumer group helping Texans make end-of-life decisions to suit their values and budget. In addition to in-person meetings, she spent hours on the phone, famously wearing a headset so she could pickle okra or do housework while talking to folks about affordable funeral care.

Daesene also volunteered as an advocate with the Texas Peer Assistance Program for Nurses. She was a regular blood donor, too, eventually reaching 10 gallons.

Daesene was an avid bird watcher. She went on many birding outings with The Travis Audubon Society, through which she made close friends.

In her seventies, Daesene was struck down by dementia. As the disease took its toll, she remained upbeat and smiling. One of the last phrases she could verbalize was “Everything is OK”. She said this to everyone she met, always lifting up others around her.

Daesene never hesitated to voice her opinion, and she stood up for what she believed was right. She could talk to most anyone about most anything. She loved people, smiled readily and loved to laugh. Mention her to any Austin old timer, and more likely than not, a big, wide grin will spread slowly across their face as they exclaim: “Oh, Daesene!”

A service to celebrate Daesene’s life will take place Sunday August 30, 2026 at Cook-Walden Chapel of the Hills Funeral Home in Austin, Texas at 11:00 in the morning. The service will be live-streamed.

In lieu of flowers, for those who wish to make a donation to a cause close to Daesene’s heart, we recommend the Travis Audubon Society:

https://travis.app.neoncrm.com/forms/donate