Tobias Tate "Toby" Estes

Tobias Tate Estes, “Toby,” was born May 12, 2014 and went to be with Jesus February 2, 2017. Toby was the quintessential baby of the family, much adored by his parents, many older sisters and brothers, and extended family and friends. He loved Leapfrog videos and his Leapfrog interactive musical teddy bear, his blankie, the flavor of strawberries, giggling with his siblings, and playing peekaboo with his parents. But his favorite thing was being held and snuggled and getting and giving hugs. He was the most mellow of all his siblings, always happy to just hang out and chill, easygoing and perfectly content to be carried everywhere he went. He loved to flip his twin sister’s ponytail and twist it around his fingers, when they rode together in their wagon, and his favorite nap position was affectionately called the “puppy pile,” where he and his twin and one of their older brothers would curl up together and snuggle to sleep. He was known for his caveman grunts of approval, his games of tug-o-war of his blankie with his big brother, and his morning bellow of “Mah! Bah!” when he was ready to eat. He is preceded in death by his maternal grandparents (Dan and Paula Griggs) and paternal grandparents (Bob and Bobbie Estes). He leaves behind a whole world rocked by the loss of his young life- his parents (Robert and Stacie Estes), many sisters and brothers, doting aunts and uncles, and more extended family members and friends as close as family, as well as the special needs adoption community, whose hearts are all forever impacted by knowing him, and who are grateful, even in this time of terrible grief, that they had an opportunity to love this precious boy who gave the most incredibly awesome hugs. Though only two and a half years old, Toby knew what he liked and what he didn’t like. He liked to eat yummy purees, loved teddy bears that sang, and adored people that smiled and who cuddled him and gave him kisses. He hated sand, dirt, flowers, grass, the ocean, and anything remotely outdoorsy! To honor him, the family requests that no flowers be sent, but instead, that donations be made to the Down Syndrome Association of Memphis (http://www.dsamemphis.org/) or to Reece’s Rainbow Down Syndrome Grant Foundation (www.reecesrainbow.org) in his memory. Helium balloons are welcome at the funeral and celebration of life, to be released graveside.

On Thursday, February 16, 2017, Toby’s family and friends will gather to celebrate and remember his life and the joy he brought to everyone’s hearts. Visitation will be from 1pm-3pm at the Memphis Funeral Home at 3700 N Germantown Parkway, Bartlett, TN, where the family will be gathered to honor Toby’s memory and have one last party together, per the request and theme planning of his young siblings: Emma Grace, Joseph, Penelope, Jacob, Lucie, Annabelle, Fiona, Cyrus, Andrew, Benjamin, and Magnolia Mae, who miss seeing his face and getting his hugs every day. Anyone who wishes to celebrate his life is welcome to join the family. At 3pm, everyone will move outside to the Garden of Innocence, for a balloon release and graveside ceremony led by Dr. Fred Shackelford IV, to say farewell.

Toby’s life was far shorter than what we all wished, and it left a Grand Canyon sized hole in the lives of those that loved him. We know, without a doubt, that God makes each life individual and unique, and that every life has purpose, no matter how the world may view us based on the way we look or how quickly we achieve developmental milestones. Toby’s life began with human rejection, before he was ever born, when an ultrasound showed that he had Down Syndrome and he was relinquished to the orphanage at birth. But God had a purpose for him that led him to our family, and he blessed us all with his unconditional love and joy. In just 2.5 years of life, he taught everyone that knew him about what it meant to be content, to appreciate what we have, and to slow down and smell the strawberries. Of all our children, Toby was the one that was most content to simply sit and be loved, and to love in return. Everyone else in our family seeks adventure and excitement, but Toby appreciated the most valuable things of all: love in people’s hearts. Though only a toddler, his eyes were wise from the hard life he lived in the orphanage before joining our family in adoption, and because of that, he often studied other people carefully before reaching out with open arms to embrace them. He had a special knack for knowing who needed extra hugs, and would persistently crawl onto them and reach for them, even if they weren’t used to babies or getting affection. He knew how to wrap us all around his little finger, and we willingly did his bidding in exchange for his adorable smiles and amazing hugs. He began life as an orphan with special needs, but he left this world as a treasured son, brother, nephew, cousin, friend and inspiration to everyone to show more love. He was everyone’s cuddlebear, and everyone’s darling, and while our hearts will forever mourn the loss of our Tobybear here on earth, and our arms feel empty without him in them, we also know that one day, we will see him again, playing at the feet of Jesus. That assurance and hope gives us strength to face the rest of our lives without him in it, wiggling his eyebrows and making his silly faces that made us laugh, and giving hugs that healed the most broken of hearts.

John 14:1-6 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

I John 4:7-11, 19 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another … We love because He first loved us.”

Mark 12:29-31 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Tobias Tate Estes. May 12, 2014- February 2, 2017. Cherished son, brother, nephew and friend. His life was far too short, and his abilities were very simple, but he will forever be remembered because he was a master at what was important: LOVE.