Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to lose a loved one. We are here to honor the life of our beloved Emelia Josephine DeFour better known to some of us as Mom, Granma, Mama, Putts, Mama Putty, or just Ma. Emelia was born July 20, 1914, in Maracas St. Joseph, Trinidad West Indies. Her mother, Famme Bake Fernando, died when she was only 9 years old, she was not blessed with a long life with her parents. Emelia grew up with a limited formal education...but never allowed that to hold her back. She was wise beyond her years and provided compassion and kindness to all she came into contact with.
Emelia met her beloved husband Reynold DeFour on Savory Street in Trinidad and was swept off her feet. They joined together and created 13 beautiful children; Ramey, Monica, Wilma, Ruphinia, Annette, Yvonne, Margaret, Brenda, Cleve, Clevis, Clifton, two of whom passed away. Emelia made sure that her children were always surrounded by love, her strong love, faith and wisdom.
Emelia migrated from Trinidad to the United States on March 20, 1974. She arrived in New York but eventually Paramount, California became her home. She then did her very best to ensure that the rest of her family could slowly migrate to the United States as well. Being surrounded by family was very important to her.
Mama, how do we truly communicate to you the impact you had on us all? You truly filled up every space that you were in with warmth and love. Your energy was larger than life. You were the glue and backbone of this family and the reason that we all exist today. You taught us all so much in life, how to live, how to love, how to pray and be strong in our faith. The sparkle in your eyes was never dulled by age. Nothing ever robbed you of life, nothing ever seemed to steal your joy.
For 106 years, every 38,690 days you lived on this earth was a blessing and a testament to all of us, your beloved family. For some of us, it was taking us to church when we didn't know you were planting a seed of love, family and faith in us. For some of us, it was being raised by you, learning life firsthand from your wisdom. For others, it was shopping in the living room, days at the swap meet, helping some of us through pregnancy, new life and raising our own babies. For some of us it was sharing birthday joy with our most special grandmother.
Love is stronger than death! You will live on through us, through our actions, our philanthropy, our faith, our kindness and our love of others, because you taught this. You are and will always be our queen, and now our angel. Grandparents are some of the best people we can ever have in our lives. You weren't just a mother but a grandmother to four generations of children. You valued time with your children, and all of their children’s children. Some believe that the long and healthy life you lived was due to the type of loving person you were.
Emelia always managed to make magic for those in need. Anyone that needed a meal to eat, a place to rest their head, or a safe place during a crazy time, they could always go to Mama. Even when friends came over to play, when it was lunch time she fed everyone! She would give her last to make sure someone else was whole. She was a good and faithful servant, she took in family or friends and grace and the love of God carried her the distance.
Mama led by example and was truly selfless. Her selflessness showed in the way she lived her life. Her kindheartedness and strong faith ultimately led to her longevity. Most people would have given up on life if they had to go through what Mama went through in life. So often we plan life without thought for what life has planned for us. Realizing that for some of us this means not having a mama at our weddings, the birth of our kids, graduations, or birthdays. But our sweet mama was there for us. She was always there for us. She was happy to share stories of her childhood, the ol’days, and speaking in Patuá with some loved ones that have passed on. Now, Mama will be with us in spirit.
You will surely be missed Mama, days of valuable advice, insights on life, words or wisdom, guidance and faith. We will miss you. Our hearts will hurt with the longing of your voice, the guidance of your wisdom and the sweet memories of all the blessings you gave.
Mama taught us that even when you make missteps with God ....seek him first in all things. What is my Mama saying to us with the legacy of her life? “Live well and put God first.” I think she would say: “Meet me here at the mercy seat of God and surrender your life to Jesus. Believe in Jesus and obey Him for He is the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6).” I think she would plead with us like the Apostle Paul in 2 Cor. 5:20 “I beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” This with the hope that Mama's life will be a testimony the examples she set are important, forgiving is better for your soul, living with purpose and intention shows that it is important in life. Serve God and put family first. If we believe and obey Jesus we will see Mama and heaven, one day.
Emelia Josephine DeFour, born July 20, 1914, leaves to mourn Monica Tinto, Wilma Mary Rodulfo, Ruphinia Sylvia Allen, Annette DeFour, Lucy Yvonne Simon, Margaret Noamie Edwards, Brenda DeFour-Lee, Cleve Francis DeFour, Emanuel Clevis DeFour, Michael Clifton DeFour, 33 grandchildren, 57 great-grandchildren and 15 great great-grandchildren, as well as a host of nieces and nephews of the DeFour family in Trinidad & Tobago West Indies.
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