Rose Bethel Gaines

Rose Bethel Gaines, 72, died of natural causes on August 6, 2022. She leaves behind a devoted husband, Reed Gaines; two bereft daughters, Amy Peterson and Bethel Arrington; two beloved granddaughters, Sophie Grace and Molly Rose; and two loving brothers, Ernest and Michael Bethel.

The first thing people usually noticed about Rose was her style and grace; she could play the role of a proper Southern lady when she chose to. Rose had the elegance and panache of Jackie Kennedy (one of her heroes), overlaid with a gorgeous Jacksonville drawl. But she was also capable of casting off that gentility like a mink stole and deploying an arsenal of verbal weaponry that ranged from gentle sass to pure lethality. Her sardonic sense of humor could sometimes hit a little too close to home; there was some comfort in knowing that she only teased the people she loved best. But when the need arose, she excelled at administering salty language and a dressing down so masterful, only the newly-deconstructed victim knew what ruination had befallen him.

That need usually arose when some foolhardy soul crossed Rose’s daughters or granddaughters. She has always been their loudest cheerleader and fiercest ally. But her efforts to keep the daughters themselves in line generally failed. They, like her, could not be taught obedience or reverence. What they DID learn at the Mama Rose School of Etiquette was how to carry themselves with poise and style, while holding that incisive sass in reserve, at the ready. Amy and Bethel recall a key moment when Rose felt they had graduated: after drilling them on The Rose Protocols for their entire childhoods, she announced one day, “Now that you know the rules, you can break them all.” And break them they did.

Rose inspired not only her daughters’ fashion sense, wit, and selective propriety, but their independence, ambition, and love of life. By day, she broke glass ceilings in banking as a chief mortgage underwriter and bank vice president in Montgomery and Birmingham from the late 1970s through the 1990s. By night, she danced and sang with a colorful cast of Jacksonville musician friends, including Duane and Gregg Allman and the band, Lynyrd Skynrd. She was an avid gardener and inveterate cat rescuer who loved to care for neglected living things and coax them into bloom.

Rose Bethel Gaines’s superpower was fiercely loving her family, friends, and extremely spoiled cats. She passed that power down and was fiercely loved by them all in return. There will be a small, intimate service for family and close friends at a later date, to celebrate her life and bid her farewell.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.johnsridouts.com for the GAINES family.