Arriving in Southern California in the early-eighties was somewhat disorienting for me.  Meeting Tony at a Santa Monica restaurant changed all that.  In him, I found a kindred spirit with an insatiable appetite to celebrate life and share human experience.  When he introduced me to his parents, Joe and Mary, I understood the source of his inspiration.

Like my own father, Papa Joe was always the lead actor; holding court with his balance of showman and sage.  And, just like my mother, “Mama Di”, otherwise known as Mary, was always the dependable supporting player.  Or, so it may have appeared to the outside world.  Growing up in a similar family dynamic and loving and appreciating my mother as I do, I understood well the power of the matriarch over this extraordinarily dynamic, DiRienzo family.    

To my delight, Mama and Papa “Di” embraced me as though I was a son!  In their home or restaurants, warmth, joy and laughter were the things they valued.  Delicious foods, beautiful wines and margaritas filled their tables and the only payment required was an open heart.  In their home, I had found my California family!

With each visit, our bond and affection would grow.  Our passion for traveling and all things Italian would fill our conversations.  They embraced my future bride, Catherine, as their own and threatened me with a life of stupidity if I didn’t marry her.  One of our most cherished memories was being pronounced Man and Wife and turning to the congregation of loved ones and seeing Mary and Joe, beaming with pride, watching our personal family begin.  
 
When her children soared in their home-lives and careers, Mary glowed with pride.  Beyond any wealth or material comforts she worked her entire life to enjoy, her greatest reward came with each grandchild born and the new light they brought them.  She treasured them all and their will to succeed and future families will define her legacy.

As an adopted family member, Mary would sometimes share her heartache when her children argued and would not quickly heal what was hurt.  Behind the scenes, she worked to repair fractured relationships because she understood that one day, after both she and Papa Joe were gone, her children would have only each other to reflect upon their lives and appreciate the true meaning of famiglia.

Despite our absence today, Catherine and I grieve the loss of our adopted mother, Mary, and celebrate her life alongside each of you.  Her lessons and memory will be shared with our daughter Valentina as we are forever blessed by the love she shared with us.  Thank you, Mary, we love always and thank you for accepting us into your magnificent Famiglia DiRienzo.  

Your adopted son and daughter, John and Catherine Aquino.

My family and I are very sad to get this information. I loved Mary...she was so nice, sweet and she really made me feel part of my American family.
 
Please, let us know what we can do to help you with Italian bureaucracy to have Mary's remains in Capracotta.
 
Rest in peace, Mary!

Natalia Battista

With Mary's death we loose a great friend and a wonderful person. I like to think of her last time she came to Italy. This was the last time we met her even if she promised to us to come again for spending some time in Tuscany.
 
All Di rienzo family in Italy is very close to your pain for Mary's death and we are very sad to know that Mary is no longer with us. Maybe she is reaching her Joe, so that they can stay together always.
 
Sebastiano asked me to tell you that the cemetery in Capracotta will be honored to take care of Mary' remains. She will be near to Joe definitively.
 
Please let us know how can we help you.
 
With all our love,
 
Giuseppe and Caterina Di Rienzo
Roma, Italy

Dear Mary;

We remember you during a tender and bright day many years ago in Laguna Beach
with Joseph, David, Amie and his family and friends. We remember your warm welcome
to our family - your kindness, and the beautiful moments we spent together. Time has passed and the years have passed, but for us the fantastic memories remain and we love to think that nothing changes. You are always in hour heart.

Sergio Boldrin and family,

Moms Eulogy
April 10, 2010 

Thank you for being here today.  Thank you for all of your notes, calls, flowers, and stories.

We all knew this day was coming.  In fact, we lost the real Mary – our Mom about a year ago.  

But you’re never ready.  Death is a tremendous shock.

Today there is a huge hole in the fabric of our family.

While trying to organize this eulogy, my initial temptation was to talk about our loss but instead I want to focus on a few stories of Mom and her unique blend of humor, toughness, humility, generosity and grace.  She could make you laugh and oh could she make the toughest teenager cower in fear.

In fact, while most of my siblings and I were still living at home, mom adopted a certain and unique nickname inspired by a character on the then popular television show Flip Wilson.  I’m sure many of you’ve guessed it….KILLER.  

While we were teenagers she wore that name as a badge of honor and made sure if we ever got out of line we were SCARED STRAIGHT!  We had a home at the bottom of a hill and coming in late at night I would turn off the engine and lights and coast quietly into our driveway. And it always seemed that just as I was going to be successful - WHAM the door would fly open and the lights would go on.  There was Mom.  The interrogation would begin.  These types of encounters were common.

What we really didn’t know then was that she was trying to set our moral compass. She wanted us to be sure to make good choices - to do the right thing.

Mom had a soft side and this was the most important side to her.  She was the most generous, selfless person I’ve known. I’m sure many of you here today can recall a time that you were the recipient of her generosity.

An example of this was in our home.  Mom was much like Sandra Bullock’s character in the movie The Blind Side. Upon learning of our aunt and her son who were in a dangerous domestic situation, she invited them to come live with us for a while - they did - 10 years.  Another time, our Mom invited into our house a young man who she felt needed a home and he too lived with us for several years.  
She made great sacrifices to incorporate them into our home and each became a member of our immediate family. 

Reflecting on this I realize what a noble and selfless act this was. Her courage and generosity was amazing!

Her kindness extended to our friends too. Like every good Italian home, life centers around a meal.  Dinner was on the table at 6:30 every night and it was the center of activity or as we called it Command Central.  She made it a point that the entire family always sat down together and she always set an extra place setting or two.  Mom knew that somehow our friends were always conveniently around our home at dinner time and she welcomed them to share a meal whether invited or not.  Sunday family dinners were the best.

She ran the home with great efficiency and discipline and would have made a Drill Sergeant proud.  One of her tricks was to begin vacuuming the house at 6:30 every Saturday morning! Laziness was not to be tolerated.

Mom was a force in business too.  She and Dad instilled in all of us a strong work ethic; she worked hard to be a homemaker but equally hard to be a partner in the business.  She added a creative spark to the various enterprises she and our father shared - from being early franchisees of Taco Bells, to the various enterprises they ran under the Bonita Store umbrella.

Her marketing sense although keen was not always something we kids enjoyed – while my sister and I were in junior high she came up with the brilliant idea of monogramming the family station wagon emblazoned with DiRienzo’s Old Bonita Store. Well, imagine at that awkward age rolling up to school with those bold letters advertising you had arrived.  Both my sister and I would sit as low as possible hoping not to be noticed.  No luck - as mom pull up front where our friends were and not let us go without a kiss in front of them! How traumatic it was then and how funny it is now.

When it came to style she was acutely aware of the latest in fashion, colors and brand awareness.  She was always ahead of the curve and had a unique gift for spotting trends. She taught us to appreciate the highest quality in all things.

When I think about our mother I think about what was most important to her – Family, Friends and the freedom to travel.  The last 25-30 years were the best for our mother and father.  They traveled the world together with many of their friends some who are here today.
  
We always loved sharing the stories they had to tell of some funny and wonderful experience in some far away country.  

Mom’s favorite story was the Christmas they spent in Kitzbuhel, Austria. Coming back from Christmas Eve Mass, she described how the snow was falling in the tiny village and upon arriving to their hotel room finding a traditional Christmas tree decorated with candles and ornaments. She always described it like it came off the page from a fairy tale - the most magical place she’d ever been.

She instilled the love of travel in all of us and we shared many great times.  

Even on holiday, Mom’s never quit being Moms.  We were visiting Mom and Dad in Italy with our kids; they had rented a house for several months and we were staying with them.  David/Allie/Amie & I took a day trip to Sienna, and apparently we were a little late getting home by Mom’s standards.  As we turned down the gravel driveway, we saw that all the lights were burning in the house…there was Mom with hands on hips…Allie says “Grandma looks MAD”…Maybe “concerned” is a more appropriate word; she had been worried all day, and when we hadn’t returned by dinner, she contacted the local police and the American Consulate to send out a search party!

Lastly, I’d like to address how I think our Mother would want to be remembered, it’s not as one who lived in beautiful homes, developed multiple business enterprises, or owned expensive things, though she had done all those.  Rather, she would have wanted to be remembered as one who was not embarrassed or afraid to speak up about issues that mattered a great deal and who’s every act of compassion, courage and sacrifice enriched, empowered and encouraged others.

She was always fighting for the little guy because she loved to help others.  She realized anyone can acquire objects and things and understood that it was not what you got, but what you gave that made a difference.  She served her community in many ways through various professional organizations.  It was important to her to lend a helping hand - to those in her community -serving those in need – especially the elderly, organizing charitable events, or working on campaign fundraisers for local politics.  It all mattered to her.

And so here we are…on a day we in many ways dreaded; but in many ways we prayed for.

Good bye Mom. Go with God.  Thank you for all the love, for all the Good Times.  Our years with you were joyous.
All of us have you in our prayers and will always.  We love you, and we’ll miss you forever.

Mom’s final trip will be to Italy to be reunited with her husband – our Father, where both will rest forever amongst the tranquil hills of a place they loved - Capracotta.

Reading of poem 

To be shipped to that bright mystic region,

Over there in green pastures to lie,

And be led by the crystal still waters

To the home in the sweet by-and-by.

- The Cowboy's Dream 


Thank You,
David DiRienzo

Ma Di's Eulogy by Mallory Ray

A Grandmother is one of life’s best gifts,?
Someone to treasure all life through,
She’s caring and loving,?
Thoughtful and true,?
Someone who is always a special part of your life,?
Someone who holds a prime place in your heart,?
She’s a mentor, a confidant and also a friend,?
Someone on whose love you can  always depend.?
A Grandmother always has your best interests at heart,?
She’s someone so dear and so good, a blessing from the start 
She’s a friend, she’s a gift,?
She’s a treasure like no other,?
She’s someone that is truly wonderful.?
You couldn’t ask for another. 
Wherever you go, and whatever you do,?
A Grandmother’s love will always see you through,?
A Grandmother is truly unforgettable
Irreplaceable  and indispensible 
?I wouldn’t want another, this is true. 
?And that’s why I’m so grateful, that life gave me you. 

I am thankful that I was blessed with such an amazing grandma. Ma D was the type of grandma that you felt lucky to have. She was there for you, loved you and best of all spoiled you. She cherished all the time she spent with all her grandkids. Whether it was going out to dinner, celebrating holidays or just hanging out, she loved to have us around. In fact, she would cry whenever we would all get together because she was so happy to have us all around. She loved us so much and one way she showed it was with gifts. Lucky us. Ma D never came over empty handed. She used her love of shopping as an excuse to buy us gifts for no reason at all. We were so lucky to have had such a loving grandma. Each of us has our own special memories with Ma D but I would like to share a few of my own. 
Some of my favorite memories with Ma D are from our time spent at the beach house in Newport. My mom, Taylor and I spent almost every weekend there during the summer hanging out with Poppi and Ma D. We would frequently walk to the fun zone, go to dinner and hang out on the patio out front. Ma D would sit in a big chair with the front door open and enjoy the summer breeze. Spending time together made those summers so much fun and special. Even when we weren’t doing anything we were having fun together. 
Christmas morning was always spent waiting for Ma D and Poppi to arrive. Taylor and I would sit impatiently waiting and asking when will they be here, when will they be here. We knew our presents from Ma D would be great because she put so much thought into each one. There were never any gift cards. It was always a well thought out gift, a gift you knew she found just for you. Usually it wasn’t something you hadn’t asked for either, it was something she picked out that she knew you would love.   
Ma D loved to shop. I can remember many times where my mom and I would take her to South Coast Plaza and push her around for hours from store to store. It wasn’t easy going up and down those ramps but we managed and still had fun doing it. I can remember making the noise of a truck backing up (beep beep beep) when I would roll her down backwards and we would both be laughing. At the end of the day she would always get me something to thank me for pushing her around, like I said she loved to spoil us whenever she could. 
On thanksgiving I could always count on Ma D to make one thing, mashed potatoes. They were her specialty. She would peel them, mash them and then perfect them without using any recipe at all. I would stand next to her sampling them as she made them, pretending to help but really I just couldn’t wait to eat them. My mom and I would even try making them sometimes. We thought we got it down a few times, but then Ma D would sample them. She would ask for more butter or more salt, throw it in and then they were perfect. She had that special touch. 
When I was in 6th grade I took a trip to Italy with Ma D and Poppi, it was entertaining to say the least. When we were in Rome visiting family, Sebastiano took us to see Trevi fountain. There was one problem. Ma D couldn’t get down the cobblestone streets,  so instead Sebatstiano drove us right up to the front of the fountain. We had to weave our way through hundreds of people to get close enough. (I should mention that there are no cars allowed anywhere near there). Immediately cops began hitting our car telling us to move. We just wanted to make sure that Ma D could see the Trevi fountain! 
Ma D almost never smiled in pictures. She could be sitting down laughing and smiling but the minute you went to take a picture she would make a straight face. It drove me nuts! So, I made it my personal goal to make her smile in every picture. I would count down from 3, look at her and say “hey you SMILLLLLEEE, come on smileeee” and as she would begin to laugh I would snap the picture. It became a little game we used to play with one another and I think maybe she did it on purpose sometimes. 
It is those memories and countless others that I now look back on and smile. Our relationship was very special to me and I will cherish it forever. We were all so blessed to have such a wonderful grandma and all of us will miss her very much. And Ma D if your listening tell Poppi we love him and miss him too. 

Thank you.

Dee Dee's Eulogy for Mom

Today is a day to celebrate the life of our mother. She had a great life, she had some bumps in the road in the beginning, but those bumps made her who she was. During the Depression, our mom spent a few troubling years with her younger brother in the Children’s Home in Burlington, New Jersey. That experience influenced our mother for the rest of her life.  In a way we benefited from that experience, in that our mother wanted us to have a better life than she did growing up.  

Our mother taught us many things, and I would like to take a moment to touch upon a few of them.  

She taught us to appreciate different cultures. We grew up immersed in National Geographic, Architectural Digest, Sunset, Bon Appétit and Reader’s Digest. We learned about the world, especially Italy! I remember Mom insisting I read the San Diego Union green sheet from cover to cover, even though I was only nine.

 In 1973, mom took Tony (David) and I -- along with our cousin and aunt -- on a 21 day, 5-country tour of Europe. That was a big thing to do back then and I remember that trip to this day.  We had High Tea in London and enjoyed it so much, that it became a yearly family tradition for us back home. Mom made contact with our relatives in Italy and arranged to visit them. That was the beginning of a relationship that has continued for over thirty-five years. Mom and Dad loved Italy so much that it became our father’s resting place, with our mother soon to follow. Mom insisted I take French classes in high school just so we could have a French foreign exchange student live with us to get the full French experience!  

Mom also taught us to appreciate the finer things in life. She valued quality. She loved fine china, Lalique crystal, and Lladros.  She brought back Gucci purses from Italy in 1976 before they were well known here. Mom loved to shop! Neiman Marcus was one of her favorite places to lunch and shop. We would all laugh because she would spend $12 on a jar of jam just because it came from Neiman Marcus and said The Silver Palate on it. She collected dolls and stuffed animals, things she didn’t have much of growing up. However, she couldn't collect just any stuffed animal; it had to be Steiff bears from Germany. She fell in love with these on one of her many trips to Europe. Her grandchildren grew up with Steiff Teddy Bears, lions, monkeys, pigs and every other animal you can imagine.

She taught us to be caring.  Mom would help anyone who needed it. Over the years, we had our cousin, aunt, grandmother, and friends -in-need, living with us at any given time. She would give you the clothes off her back if you needed it and never expected anything in return. Even in the last few years when she was living with Parkinson’s disease and dementia she still wanted to help. She had a form of dementia that affected not her memory, but her mind with hallucinations. Mom would see imaginary children playing in the yard and want to buy them clothes. Myla and Jonas, her wonderful caregivers, would take her to Nordstrom and buy “the children” clothes that mom had picked out for them and then days later; Myla would return all the clothes.  

She instilled in all of us a passion for food, good food. We wake up and think about what we are going to have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner before we have even finished our coffee! Dad used to say, “He didn’t eat to live, he lived to eat!” So we got that from both parents.  Mom loved to cook and she was at ease no matter how many people she was cooking for. When Bonita Road was being widened in the early 70’s, mom turned the little apartment in the Bonita Store into a lunch café for all the construction workers. She used to make pot roast and mashed potatoes, Swiss steak, meat loaf and all kinds of hot meals for those guys and they loved it! We all learned how to cook from mom. We live in our kitchens.  

She taught me how to bake, something I love to do. When I was small, I used to make Christmas cookies with mom and Betty Jean Klindt. We would bake for days.  Cream cheese spritz wreaths with green frosting were the best! Everyone loved their holiday cookie tray from mom. She rarely followed a recipe.  She used it more or less, as a guide then would alter it to her taste. I do the same thing.  Mom used to make an Old Fashioned Cream pie made with heavy cream, eggs, sugar, vanilla, and nutmeg that was unbelievable.  

Mom loved the holidays.  She would decorate for Easter and Christmas with the most beautiful decorations. Christmas was her favorite, she went all out. Every room was decorated. Her ornaments came from all over the world. Her tree would be so full you could barely see the branches. And the gifts, oh the gifts. One year she said she hadn’t bought as much as the year before, but Christmas morning the living room was so full of gifts there was one small pathway to walk to the chairs. Even Easter was a big decorating event. We had big stuffed bunnies, china bunnies and hand decorated eggs everywhere. We even had an Easter tree with colored eggs on it. I loved her decorations so much that I started my own collection to match hers. I carried glass ornaments from Germany for my Christmas tree and hand painted eggs from Austria for my Easter tree. She taught me well!

You may not have noticed, but our parent’s names are Joseph and Mary and their first born child, JoAnn, was born on Christmas Day at Mt. Holly Hospital!  You see, they were meant to be together.  As they got older my late husband, Larry, lovingly referred to them as Mr. and Mrs. Magoo.  They came to visit us one day and we were watching them get in the car to leave.  Mom got in first, her butt in the drivers seat and legs outside the car.  Dad picked up her legs and turned her around then gently placed her right leg on the accelerator and her left leg close to the brake.  He then went over to the passenger side and was saying goodbye when mom decided to wash the windshield.  The spray went all over dad’s glasses.  Without a blink he took out a tissue, wiped his glasses and smiled!  Their Golden Years were truly that and now they are together again.  Mom, we celebrate you, we thank you, we miss you.  Give Dad a big kiss from all of us.

OBITUARY

Mary Jane Mary Jane Fouch Di Rienzo

April 20, 1925 – March 18, 2010

Glen Abbey Memorial Park & Mortuary

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