Thao Thi Nguyen

Le Thi Thao was our beloved mom. She was born in 1935 in Dalat, Vietnam when Ngo Dinh Diem was the prime minister of Vietnam and later the President of South Vietnam. France left a huge impression after the colonialization of Vietnam. Mom’s family emigrated to Saigon from rural Hue (the central region of Vietnam). Her parents worked hard to provide for mom and her siblings. She was the second oldest daughter of five children. Mom’s life was one of hard work. Her father worked hard as a gardener, and the rest of the family sold food at the market to make ends meet. Mom woke early every morning to help her mother prepare hot corn on the cob, carried the day’s supply on her slender shoulders and walked 4 miles to the market to sell. A good day meant coming home with a lighter load than what she left with. Life was not easy, but filled with love and hope.

In 1955, two matchmakers arranged for a couple to meet and marry because they had compatible lunar signs. That couple was mom and dad. Mom came from the same socio-economic background as dad. She was young, pretty and hardworking. Love was not a factor. That will hopefully come later in life.

In 1975, mom and dad made a life changing decision to emigrate to the US due to the impending fall of Saigon. They also made an agonizing decision to leave their eldest son behind. He was in the South Vietnamese Army and was not able to leave with the rest of the family. Nobody thought we would ever settle in the US permanently. Mom and dad had survived 20 years of marriage. Six children later and a good paying stable job for dad, it was not a time to leave. The US was a place we had heard of and saw images on our black and white TV. Dad made us learn English in addition to our studies. The US had JC Penney catalogs with beautiful dresses and Barbie dolls. The US sent soldiers to Vietnam to defend the South from Ho Chi Minh’s communist aggressions. It would be an adventure to go and live there for a while and we would come home after everything calmed down. This is what mom told us when we were cold and scared sitting in the Camp Pendleton refugee camps not knowing what would happen next.

After we settled in San Diego and the children were in school, mom found work at a convalescent hospital. She did housekeeping work during the day, then came home and cleaned our house and cooked dinner. I never heard her complain once about her work, she was loved by her co-workers and bosses. She was proud to belong to the working class and to contribute to the family.

We were adjusting well to life in the US, but mom felt incomplete without her eldest. She worked hard and saved enough money to travel back to Vietnam to arrange for him and his family to come over. We celebrated our happy reunion in 1990. She was progressive beyond her years. She learned to drive, took ESL at night, but enjoyed learning it more from her favorite shows (Gun Smoke, Bonanza, I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith show). After retirement, she got up at 4 am every morning and would be waiting outside the gym when the door opened.

She appreciated the opportunities this country provided for her children. Mom came from poverty, she wasn’t able to attend good schools and get a higher education. Her stories about her father’s job as a gardener for a French dignitary and later for the US Embassy was told with pride, never embarrassment. She viewed her childhood and early life in Vietnam with fond memories and lessons of hard work. She strived to give us that here in the US. She was proud to be a Vietnamese-American. She voted in every election but also kept an eye out on political events in her native land. She wanted us to maintain our roots but was very supportive of our assimilation to this country.

Mom was a great cook. She loved American comfort food. She sampled my first meat loaf, loved my brother’s spaghetti al vongole, loved my cupcakes and in recent years, enjoyed pastrami sandwiches and a good carne asada burrito. Mom loved to travel. Each trip was an adventure. She snorkeled in Cozumel, visited the Eiffel Tower, and took the TGV speed train to Marseille. She loved Rome and didn’t show any fear when crossing Capilano bridge in Vancouver. Still, her number one favorite country to visit remained her native land. When we found out mom was sick, she immediately wanted one last trip to visit her sisters in Vietnam and to say good bye. She fought her illness with everything she had. She was not afraid of dying, but wanted to cherish every moment left on this earth with her family for as long as she could. She loved life, being alive, and all that it brought. She was proud to be our mother. Her priorities in life were clear, family came first. She was proud of our accomplishments, but she never let us forget that we were her children first.

If we could honor mom by living the rest of our lives the way she raised us, she would be so proud.

Go with God mom, your life was well lived, your love well received, and your legacy will be well honored.

With our deepest love, respect, and gratitude,

Your loving children,

Trung, Nam, Bac, Tram, Viet, Dao