Hi Donald,

Sydney and I have been trying to find you and hope this message reaches you. She is living in New Canaan, Ct. and has retained her name. I would be happy to share her e-mail address and phone number with you. You can reach me at susanhb159@gmail.com
or call me at 207-873-2925. I am living and working in Maine now. Sydney's Mom and brother Scott live in Maine too. It would be so nice to hear from you....I know it has been years and years, so there is a lot to catch up on. I am so sorry about your mom. Sydney's Dad is gone, as is mine. The Atkinsons also lost Chris, very sadly, over ten years ago to cancer. Please get in touch, old friend.
Love, Susan

June 13, 2013, the end of a year of words and images on screens holding our gaze.  May 12th came, the year rounding in full.  I held my breath, a weariness is what I felt and as I stood at your rose stone, the rain came down as Maria knelt and prayed, her lips to the Cross.  A year since you had stopped, another Mother's Day, the day you gave me birth, intertwining us in time and place.  This picture of me upon your lap at 83rd St, a Christmas feast. I remember that flash of time.  It is happy. But still, among the tortures and devastations of life is this then, our loved ones are not able to finish their stories. All my love.

   Six months ago, May 12th, Mom stopped and so swiftly left us. Maybe all losses before this one are practice, maybe grief that comes after her death seems tame.
   I mark time by the events of what became her last year. The calender is in my mind's eye. I still wake and have to remind myself that she is done. This Thanksgiving seems bleak with it's empty chair looming. My feelings will be quieted as the calender's circle completes. Her memory will ever be within. The 12th of May will always shroud Mom and I as the day that she gave me birth and the day I held her and she swiftly surrendered. Circle awaiting.
   Requiem Aeternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetuae luceat eis. Requiescant in pace.
Amen.

It has been almost 3 months since I last saw you. I hope that you know that I was there. My dad and I found a picture of you and I complimented your outfit. You were always so fashionable and I like to think I got that trait from you. Now that photo sits next to my bed. We all love and miss you.

With love, 
Kelsey

This picture of you.  Dad behind the viewfinder.  It's us as we were on that  New Jersey land.  We are five Fenn's, Mom, Dad, Roger, Mark and me. It' Mark's Christening Day.  Did I insist that I wear that bow tie?  Probably, me always making a fuss.  We sit in front of that new 236 Jeffer Street house that you and Dad built for us. I get a chill just seeing that diamond glass in the door. I can almost feel the white painted wood between the rectangle and square panes of glass in what to me was such a wonderfully modern window.  Even the little front door light, even that seems tactile tonight on this July 12, 2012.  Our Split Level, one of those new post war designs with a foyer with a very cool gray slate floor, very Rob and Laura Petrie.  That was something, our little home.  We really were complete.  Memories of those days, those things, seen as if through a haze as I look at this picture of you.  Two months ago tonight, we lost you, Mom.  But, when I look at this picture of you, I can see that brand new lawn, our brand newborn.  Your pearls draping your linen dress, my hand grazing your shoulder and Roger looking on, hand in his pocket.  I can feel all that when I look at this picture of you. And then, just like magic, I see the milk box.  Wow, I can't believe it!  I've seen and felt something in this photo all anew.  I remember that funny metal box.  On that day, your Dad, Joseph Francis Egan, the Borden milk man, was in Brooklyn, the place that we had come from.  And think of that connection, that box has brought me back a bit more closely to what we were that day.  That box which held for us, milk, butter, cottage cheese.  That makes me smile, that little box.  So, as I look at this picture of you on this night two months from the night that you left us and we became four, I ended up smiling, Mom.  That little metal box, that's truly magic to me, for us, for the five Fenn's.  This picture you.  I'm sure you feel it too.  We, the four miss you, Donald

Mom, 4 weeks or 28 days or 672 hours ago, on a Saturday night, the 12th of this past May, that night became the last that we had of us.  Another 12th of May, another year, it was Mother's Day and on that day, you gave me life.  With that twist of fate, we were bound.  Was it a quip, a gibe?  For me, it was just us.  Then 28 days ago, the 12th of this past May, with us all around, a gentle turn took us as a quiet did begin.  It seemed tha time descended upon us long enough to escort you, there was a rush and it was all done.  Was that transcendence?  Too quick to enumerate, Emersonian? unexpected? is it true?  One thinks of such magical moments but they are too powerful to not find oneself simply in awe. The life that we knew, the joy that was ours, the wisdom that we grasped, what comfort we had found.  The meaning that we sought, was done.
The night before, we three; Mark, Roger and me, slept surrounding your bed.  The moon in my eyes, the window facing east, and then the sun, a fanfare blowing had begun.  The last day had begun.  

4 weeks, 28 days, or 672 hours and all that I can remember is you.  


Mom, 
Where were you going?
Were you going anywhere?

Dear Don and Family, we are thinking of Beautiful Marilyn at this time.  May she have a peaceful rest. We enjoyed being her friends at Seaglass Village.  Helene and Dr. Michael Kramer, Amherst NH & Wells, ME.

To Donald and Joan's family; we have been waiting and wondering when we would see Joan's smiling face across from our cottage; waiting to help her with her flowers and share stories.  She will be missed very much at Seaglass Village.  Our prayers to your family.
Nancy and John Snell

Memorial Day with Mom. Fresh sprouting grass upon newly turned earth. Crown of flowers I plant, earth under my nails. Sunny, breezy, silence and Marian blue skies. Cars empty near stones, flowers, flags, snap photos. I hold the rosary that was wrapped around her hands the night that stopped us. I touch each blue bead; the Sign of the Cross, the Creed, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be, Hail Holy Queen. This meditation while slowly circling her earthly locus seems to bring peace, quiet, comfort. This feels true. This is us now. "Mom, can you hear me? Everything will be alright." These last words while she was wheeled away that day we all fell. Did she hear me? The Recording Angel's notes seem complete. Are my final words amid them?

In memory of Marilyn, 
my wife, my love, my life

If my tears could build a stairway, 
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.

No farewell words were spoken,
no time to say "Goodbye".
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows the reason why.

My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you,
no one can ever know.

But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times
that life still has in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten,
I pledge to you today,
A hollowed place within my heart,
is where you'll always stay.

 Don

Donald and family, I am so very sorry for your loss.  I only knew Marilyn very briefly, however it did not take long at all for me to learn what an amazing woman she was.  I feel lucky to have known her.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Dear Mr. Fenn and Family,
We are so sorry to hear of Mrs. Fenn's passing.  She was a very special lady, who will be greatly missed by all of us at Seaglass Village.

Compassion is one trait that especially makes us human.
I feel fortunate to have received kindness, compassion, words of comfort, hugs.
I have been amazed and lifted by each individual encounter with all that reached out to me.
After all, most never meet my Mom but there is the commonality of loss that we all share.
It's so strange.  You have been so helpful, easing this disquiet all about.

I call out, 
I think of her
Gone, seems too much to abide still.

Joan was a lovely lady.  I had the pleasure of knowing her when I sold their property on Main Street, and they bought a home on Balfour Lane.  I am so sorry for your loss...

I am sorry that I didn't have the chance to know you better. It is a shame we lived so far away and didn't talk more, but I am grateful that we had the chance to spend a few summers on vacation with you. It was a wonderful oppertunity that I will never forget.

May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

I was never sure why but my parents always told me this story:

When I was young, my mom and dad dropped me off at my Grandparents house so they could watch me for the day. While I was there, I cried and cried and cried until my Nanna finally agreed to bring me to Toys-R-Us so I could get a Barbie. 

Although I don't remember that day, I am sure it was not a fun day for anyone. There were many days like that, but regardless my Grandparents never gave up on me and for that I am so thankful.

My Nanna always cared for me, loved me, and believed in me. She was always a joy to be around and I will never forget her beautiful character.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Ooh! the 70's, cool duds, Mark,Roger,Mom and Donald

Here are your boys, mom. Roger and Mark have been with me all during this hard time.  We never stop reminiscing about our family life together.

Mark, I am very sorry for your loss.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  Ann Olszewski

I remember going over to the Fenn's house when I was in High school. Mrs. Fenn always greeted me with a warm smile and was very kind. Mark and our mutual friends were up to the usual high school mischief, Mrs Fenn would just say to all of us "have fun boys" as we departed. What a kind women, all the best to the Fenn's.

It can be so hard to face the first year without your loved one, but the love of family and friends can carry you through.

I was speaking with one of my cousin's this morning helping her make arrangements to come to Mom's funeral from New York. Lynn told me of  wonderful pictures she has of Mom and Dad when they would spend a good portion of the summer at Green Harbor with my younger brothers when I was in high school and college. I was left at home because I worked at Allied Van Lines where Mom worked in sales. 
One of the nieghbors complained to Mom about what I will call social gatherings I had at the house in Winchester. The way Mom handled this was by saying to me, "Roger one of the nieghbors was telling me about parties here at the house while we were away. I told her I know my son and he would never do such a thing." Nothing more was ever said and there were no more parties. 

I have not seen my cousin since she was a very young girl. She is ten or more years younger then me. My Mother being the hub of the family made sure I was kept aware of her progress. Lynn has a PhD in clinical psychology and has had a private practice in New York now for over twenty years. I have been happy this week to still have a relationship with her even though it has been maintained, nurtured and cared for by my Mother. 
My Mother has been the one who has put the energy and caring into keeping a family connected. 
                           Thanks Mom For Knowing What is Important so that even though you are gone I still have a family.
                                            Roger

Early this morning about 6:30 am I was in front of my parent's apartment building the, River House, looking over the lower Charles River Basin where Community Boating is located along the Esplanade. Directly in front of me was where I sank a sail boat one summer day during my high school days. The sail boat was totally submerged and I spent some time in the Charles waiting to be rescued. The Charles was very polluted in those days,   Bernard DeVoto wrote in Harper's Magazine that the Charles was "foul and noisome, polluted by offal and industrious wastes, scummy with oil, unlikely to be mistaken for water." My Mother had the good sense to be sure I recieved a tetanus shot and suggested that I have more lessons before going sailing again. 
I was grateful that the circumstances of my life provided me this peaceful moment remembering my Mother's good sense and support. She never suggested that I not go sailing again.
                                                         In Gratitude for Your Good Sense Mom
                                                                        Roger

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  Your mother was a very special lady.

This poem was found by my brother Donald among my Mother's personal items written in her handwriting on the back of a note card:
Peace to all Roger Fenn

I'd like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an afterglow of 
smiles when day is done.
I'd like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways
of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I'd like the tears of those who grieve
to dry before the sun,
of happy memories that I leave
behind when day is done.
             Author Unkown

This I believe is how my Mom wants to be remembered.

OBITUARY

Joan "Marilyn" M. Egan Fenn

January 10, 1928 – May 12, 2012

J.S. Waterman Langone Chapel

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