Nathan David Wiesner
On Friday, April 20, 2018, Nathan David Wiesner, age 27, passed away suddenly in Fort Myers, Florida. Born May 10, 1990, in New Bedford, MA, he was the much-loved son of David C. Wiesner of East Falmouth, MA and Kathy Wiesner-Fraga, of Fort Myers Beach, FL.
He is also deeply mourned by his brother, Nicholas, his step-father Paul Fraga, his maternal grandmother Claire Bolton, and several aunts, uncles,and cousins all on his mother's side. Nathan's true nature was one of extreme sensitivity and empathy although he often presented with a tough guy personna to mask how easily he could be wounded and deeply hurt.
Raised in Bourne, MA most of his life, he was a 2008 graduate of Wareham, MA High School. It was because of his kind and empathetic heart that he was drawn to choose Wareham High where he voluntarily participated as a mentor in the Best Buddies Program -- a world-wide organization helping to provide socialization opportunities for students with intellectual or developmental disabilities. He served in a leadership role. In 2009 he moved to Ft. Myers Beach. He attended and received a certificate of completion in Facility Maintenance in 2011 from the Job Corps in Frenchburg KY. He returned to Ft. Myers for several years until moving back to MA 6 years ago. He had only recently returned to Ft. Myers in October, 2018.
His greatest desire and regret was that he could not serve in the Military as his father before him who served 22 years in the Army, his paternal grandfather the late Mst. SGT Herman Wiesner who served in the Air Force, and his brother, Nicholas. A congenital leg and foot deformity prevented him from serving and he had a lifelong sadness about this unfulfilled desire.
As a teenager Nathan enjoyed watching wrestling and fishing shows on TV with his dad. He always had great respect for all wildlife and fished catch-and-release- giving them "suga", a kiss like gesture, before setting them free. In 2007 he won First Place in the AAU New England Powerlifting Championships. He also loved watching cooking shows. Riding with his dad in his Military jeep gave him great pleasure as did their habit each year of placing flags on Memorial and Veterans Day on the graves of the Veterans buried in the Massachusetts National Cemetery on Cape Cod. He deeply loved his yellow lab, Gunner, his best-friend and companion for almost 16 years. His loss could never be replaced. Nathan had a great sense of humor and a quick wit. He should be a stand-up comedian his mother often said. . He had an affinity for impressions much to his mother's annoyance and delight, and Arnold Schwartzenegar and Austin Powers were two of his best. The family shared many inside jokes and sayings, alot based on Forest Gump or silly words shared only by them. They were always shared in an affectionate context. He was an extremely thoughtful son, always mindful of his mother's imbalance and mobility issues--ready with a hand, an am up, to steady her. He still held doors for women and was noted for his extremely polite manner. He took great care picking out cards and choosing gifts with the intent of making the recipient feel known and loved. He had an affinity for writing and never just signed his name to a card but also penned extremely heartfelt sentiments that will always be treasured. He loved his mother like no other and his father was his hero. He respected and loved his stepfather, Paul Fraga, and they affectionately called each other Pal.
Nathan desired closeness with others and very much wanted a family of his own but he never married and had no children. Even as a young man of 27 he was never embarrased to show affection to his parents, and particularly his maternal "grandma." He rarely ended a phone conversation or personal exchange without saying: "I love you." He loved deeply and longed for the good times with his 8 cousins and brother at his grandparent's home, the late Fred Bolton and surviving grandmother Claire Bolton in Assonet, MA where they would all gather.
Unfortunately, having ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder, formerly known as Asperger's Syndrome, often led to problems in his social and personal relationships. Often, as can be a classic symptom of the disorder, he could misinterpret social cues and repond with anger or inappropriate behavior; this would sabotage the very thing he desired the most. He often was criticized or judged and could build stubborn walls to mask his pain. This would lead to increasing depression and anxiety over the ensuing years, as is often the case with ASD. His mother often told him how proud she was of his tremendous resilience and "perseverance" was another of their sayings. He faced adversity with a strength that few could mirror andalways worked to better himself. He had many goals and aspirations and was working hard to that end. He had many gifts and talents including artistic and musical abilities but his gentleness and affinity for the disadvantaged and disengenuous was his greatest asset and made him truly special and admired. He battled anxiety and depression in the latter half of his life and was battling SUD (Substance Use Disorder) at the time of his death. Like many people with mood disorders, they often use other substances to medicate these symptoms. Nathan was not a chronic, long-time user; only within the past year did heroin come into our lives. He would have very short periods of binge using over the past several months. These were rare and short in duration and he had voluntarily sought help earlier in the month. Prior to the time of his death he had not been using opioids but his impulsivity, inability to deal with recent major stressors, and the lure of knowing he could change the way he felt "just for one time" caused him to make what would be a reckless and fatal decision. He died alone in his apartment and was later discovered that same night by a concerned friend. As was typical of his relationship with his parents, he had spoken to his father in the afternoon and his mother at dinner time. It was not apparent that he was under the influence of any substance at that time nor did he share his intent. Why are we speaking so frankly about our son? Sharing "secrets" of such a personal nature?Because we do not want him to be defined by his death. He was much loved....beyond measure. He had good morals and values. He did not want to use drugs. If you had told us last year that our beautiful 27 year old son would EVER even try heroin it was one problem we couldn't even fathom. But it did happen. We want to shed light on the fact that our son was not a bad kid but a remarkeably resilient young man whose gentle nature and sensitivity left him vulnerable to a world that could be harsh. That opoid use is a crisis in this nation with availability that is too easy and few resources for those who even want help. Nathan sought voluntary help and the need for treatment far exceeded the availability or resources. That opioids are affecting families who in their wildest dreams could never imagine such a thing.
That there needs to be severe penalties for those that sell drugs and that they be prosecuted in each and every death. We are speaking out BECAUSE we are not ashamed of our son and because we we loved Nathan deeply. We are speaking out because we will never recover from losing him--never. We are speaking out because it was tragic and a tradegy for our country that is only getting worse.
Nathan will return to Cape Cod for calling hours to be held at the Nickerson Bourne Funeral Home, 40 MacArthur Blvd., Bourne, MA., on Saturday, May 19, 2018 from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. Burial will be private.
Nathan was a Christian who strongly believed in God, and we know he will be happily received by Him as well as his cherished late granddad Fred Bolton, his Grammie who always loved him, the late Jemima Wiesner, and his maternal uncle the late Dan Bolton who always took him under his wing. This gives us comfort in some small measure.
Following the Calling Hours please join us for a Celebration of Life at the Buzzards Bay Eagles Club, 39 Cohasett Ave., Buzzards Bay. All are welcome to attend.
- Visitation Saturday, May 19, 2018
- Burial will be private
Nathan David Wiesner
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Bill & Joan Tosko
May 23, 2018
Kathy & Paul:
Joan and I are so very sorry for your loss. We remember Nathan well and know how hard you worked to help him. Having lost a 20 year old son we know how traumatic it can be, but we also know that you can survive this and that life will be worth living again. It's been 36 years since our son died in an accident and from this perspective please know that you will never forget him but it will become easier to live with your loss. There will be times when you feel down but there will also be times when you will be able to laugh and smile and you should do that without feeling guilty about it, if for no other reason than Nathan would want it that way. The eulogy you wrote was absolutely beautiful. You are both in our thoughts and our prayers.
May 14, 2018
I was so saddened to hear of the loss of your handsome son. Your courage in sharing his life both good & tough brought me to tears. Prayer's for your family & may Our Lord watch over all of you & give you the strength you need. Sincerely,Sheedie