Eva Mae Dove

February 3, 1930 – December 22, 2019

When we talk of heroes, take note that what they do mostly takes place in quiet, often private encounters - not the bold acts we read about in history books and newspapers. In fact, a hero’s actions often go unnoticed, except for the immediate beneficiaries. Eva Mae Dove was a hero. Those who knew her well speak of the kindnesses and encouragement she extended to them in times of great need or great personal distress, and despair. Her home was a revolving door of family, friends, and neighbors who reached out to her for her counsel. She was a shoulder to cry on and a confidant to many – a community therapist. It was no wonder that she chose nursing and care-giving as her life and her profession. It was in her blood, passed down from higher powers. She was clearly a chosen soul.

At only 5 foot two inches tall and 120 pounds, soaking wet, she was a woman of strong constitution with a trailblazer’s essence. She grew up in a time when a woman’s place was supposedly predetermined by a man’s world. A “woman’s place” was not the place for her. She, took her love for care-giving and established a convalescent home for the elderly and sick that she ran for 15 years. The elderly people she cared for during those 15 years were exposed to her genuine TLC. This was not a typical personal care home. It was filled with the warmth as she opened its doors to family and friends to stop by and visit anytime. The folks that lived in the neighborhood quickly came to know and love her – always looking out for her; she even employed some of them to do odd jobs. Eva could see the good in people. One of the neighborhood folks she employed, who was on terribly hard times and known for abusing the bottle, turned out to be an accomplished chef and a classically trained pianist! Yes, Eva added value to the lives of many.

Her weakness was her children. She didn’t know how to say no to them. And when her children had children, she didn’t know how to say no to them either. She gave them all that she had, and then some – often extending herself beyond her means. She guarded, as only a caring mother can, even when they didn’t know she was watching.

Though growing up in the harsh reality of black America, as so-called second-class citizens, Eva always knew she was worthy of respect and the finer things life had to offer, and she did what she could to attain them for herself and her children. She had a flare for what was trending and hip - the popular clothes, the hottest cars, the latest hairstyles and dances. She had great taste for it all and enjoyed taking it in. She also instilled in her children a sense of self-respect and awareness of America’s inherent racial divide. Yes, Eva was quite the activist in her own way. She didn’t march in the streets or carry picket signs, but she was never unclear about where the fight was, how important it was, and on what side she stood.

Throughout her life, Eva continued to give her heart to friends and family in need. She had several homes during her life and each home was a place of refuge, safety, and old-fashioned comfort food. Providing comfort and security to others was her happiness. She was great company too – quick to laugh, loved music, crosswords puzzles and card games, and could converse for hours about almost anything.

The legacy of Eva Mae Dove is without a doubt one of love and self-sacrifice in service of others. Eva’s legacy is the quiet truth of heroes.

Eva Mae Dove is survived by three of her four children: LaRita Elaine Gaskins, Rudolph Adam Gaskins, Jr., and Kim Kiawana Gaskins-I. She is also survived by her grandchildren, Dionne Bucksell-Thomas, Pete Bucksell, Ricardo Bundy, Ngozi Gaskins and Tyler Gaskins, and her six great grandchildren, Shyya Smith-Bucksell, Saivon Bucksell, Sovann Gaskins-Nhey, Shawn Andrew Bundy, Ivana Hazel Martinez, and Josephine Elaine Bundy. Eva’s first-born child, Deadra Faye Gaskins, died on July 7, 1998. She is also survived by her brother Alvin Dove, and a host of nieces, nephews, and cousins.

A very special acknowledgment goes out to Kim K. Gaskins-I for her dedicated, steadfast care of Mama Eva during the difficult years in which she struggled with Alzheimer’s Disease, and to Kim’s husband, Zeallocka I (pronounced Jello-ka Eye), who was at mom’s side, 24/7 for the final year.