Harriet Rose Stern

Harriet was born in Boston on December 3, 1928 to Lewis and Charlotte Marks. Charlotte was an immigrant from eastern Europe and Lew was a first generation American. Harriet was an only child but surrounded by the large families of both parents. When money was scarce during the 1930s, she often cared for her younger cousin Bobby while their parents shared a small Roxbury apartment. The apartment was very close to Franklin Park where she biked and roller skated with friends, and often accompanied her aunts on the golf course and the ski slope. She was one of her piano teacher’s star pupils and, despite her dislike of the limelight, dutifully played at many recitals.

Harriet attended the Roxbury Memorial High School for Girls where she was a gifted student and graduated early at age 16. She often recalled how silly it was that they staggered the start and exit times for the boys and girls in the same building to keep them from fraternizing.

As a child of the depression in a family with financial struggles, Harriet worked several jobs during her education, including a stint as a commercial artist at a downtown ad agency. One memorable summer job was in a department store where her fulltime task was to divide bills by 3 for buyers on a payment plan. This gave Harriet the uncanny ability to divide observed numbers, such as license plates or phone numbers, by 3 with lightning speed.

Throughout her childhood, Harriet’s family was active in politics and she was involved in a progressive Jewish youth group where, among other things, she won a beauty contest. She enjoyed dancing and frequently went on dates to the Totem Pole in Newton.

Harriet attended the Massachusetts College of Art and graduated with a BFA in 1949. After college she married Milton Stern, known as Mickey, whose family belonged to the same organizations as the Marks family. They moved to Storrs, Connecticut while Mickey finished his master’s degree, and then to Lansing, Michigan where he received a doctorate in American Literature and their daughter, Kathy, was born in 1953.

While Mickey studied, Harriet took care of the apartment and worked as a draftsperson. One of her jobs was for a company that designed submarine weapon systems for the US Navy. Harriet surmised that they never bothered to run a security check on her because she was a woman. And as the only woman in her department she was expected to eat lunch with the all-female secretarial pool.

The couple moved to Urbana Champaign, Illinois where Mickey began his first teaching job and their son, Paul, was born in 1955. Despite the lifelong friends they made in Michigan and Illinois, Harriet and Mickey felt marooned in the Midwest, missing their families and the ocean. They agreed that Mickey should take a job as an English Professor at the University of Connecticut and the family moved to Storrs in 1958.

In Storrs they bought land and built a house which they finished, painted, landscaped, and furnished over the years. Harriet made all the curtains, many clothes and sweaters, cared for the children and dogs, cooked the meals for the family, for many friends and house guests, kept the house remarkably neat—even ironing the sheets—and dealt with all the household finances. She took a variety of courses at the university and eventually became a silversmith, spending years creating original jewelry pieces, many of which received awards in juried shows. She sold her work both privately and through dealers.

Harriet was also her husband’s first-line editor and final draft typist. Mickey wrote many books and monographs, and he relied on Harriet to review his work before it went to publishers. She was a trusted partner with an editorial sensibility he wasn’t likely to get elsewhere.

Harriet was an avid gardener and she maintained a large vegetable garden that kept her household and many neighbors well stocked. In a university community and an era of cocktail parties and department dinners, Harriet was a diligent host and impeccable housekeeper.

Harriet had a wonderful sense of humor, a beautiful smile, and a ready laugh. She listened to others with grace but always deflected attention from herself with wry humor. She was quietly devoted to her family, to her craft, and to her community. She was supremely responsible, hardworking, generous, loving and much loved. She will be deeply missed by those who survive her.

Harriet died in peace, survived by her daughter, Kathy, and son-in-law Jack, her son, Paul, and daughter-in-law, Beth, and her grandchildren Alexander, Anna, and Isabel, and her great grandchildren, Leo and Eddie, and her cousin Robert Kleid.