Selma Gruenstein Miller

Dr. Selma Gruenstein Miller, mother, grandmother, loyal friend and fiercely devoted sweet-tooth, died Oct. 5 at the age of 89. A fourth generation New Yorker, Selma died at Mass General Hospital having moved to Boston, where she spent her last 12 weeks reunited with her kids and grandkids.

A graduate of Birch Wathen high school and Barnard College, she received her doctorate in psychology from Columbia Teachers College.

As a teenager, Selma fell in love with Robert Myles Miller and left her treasured Vassar College to marry him. They had three children who Selma raised while working to start a career as a psychologist. She became New York president of the Am. Assn of Marriage & Family Therapists. During her years as a school psychologist, she was so appreciated the principal convinced Selma to follow her from Birch Wathen to a school in Pasadena, where Selma commuted every other week between coasts.

Although proud of her degree and energized by her career, Selma ’s primary passion was the people in her life, followed closely by her dogs, ice cream and lunch dates at the Madison Restaurant.

Selma was elegant and sophisticated, but she was never pretentious. She loved flea markets more than Bloomies, and the family surrounding her on her bed.

Selma’s struggles against depression did not stop her from a life filled with love, learning and travel. She dabbled in painting, photography, sailing and skiing, but really, it was helping people she loved, as a vocation and avocation. Her advice was widely sought and cherished.

During the challenging and lonely months of Covid, her caretaker Carolina became her best friend, her sister and her confidante.

Selma is survived by children Bob and wife Jill Winitzer; Amy and husband John Klossner, and Linda Miller, as well as grandchildren Jeremy, Aliza, Lane, Chhany, Benjamin and Surya.

A memorial service will be later this fall in NYC. Donations may be made to the AHRC at ahrcnycfoundation.org or "Life and Hope Haiti" at lifeandhopehaiti.org.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.levinechapel.com for the Miller family.