Joseph DeFalco

Joseph Anthony DeFalco, 84, passed away peacefully on February 7, 2022, surrounded by his loving family. He lived a tremendous life, remembered for many things by many people, but for him, his greatest accomplishment was the family he and his wife, Bernadette, created. More than a patriarch, he was the heart and soul of his sprawling clan, wise and generous and patient, but also quick to play practical jokes. He never lost his curiosity, love of learning and teaching, or sense of adventure. He was the first to scoop up a baby, the last to leave the dance floor, the quickest to offer help whenever it was needed. Joe lit up every room he entered, delighting all with his quick, kindly wit. He didn’t need to step into the spotlight- it followed him around like a satellite. He will never be forgotten, and he will be forever missed.

Born in Brooklyn on August 6th, 1937, Joseph’s early years were spent at Angel Guardian Home and at St. Vincent’s Home for Boys. He then spent time in foster care where he met Daniel Grady. The two boys formed a deep bond, considering themselves brothers for the rest of their lives. Joe joined the Navy at age 17 and was stationed abroad for several years on the USS Antietam. When he returned to the United States, he married the love of his life, Bernadette Kennedy, whom he called “Murph”, and with whom he raised 5 daughters in the Flatbush neighborhood of Brooklyn. They were married until his death, nearly 64 years. He was a parishioner of Holy Innocents Church and St. Boniface, coached the girls’ swimming and basketball teams, and volunteered on Sundays as a hospitality minister, where he was passionate about spending his evenings at the homeless shelter, working closely alongside Sister Helene. When his daughters were grown, he and Bernadette moved to Lakewood, NJ, where they found themselves at the center of a lively social scene. Joe joined the community board, was captain of the Monday Bowling League, played bocce and cards and was an avid golfer and member of the Men’s Club, coordinating their traveling golf events. He was also the ultimate chauffeur for the neighborhood: whether he was driving “Miss Daisy” (Murph) to go shopping, sports teams to their games, or any family members or individuals in need anywhere they needed to go, Joe had the car ready and was down to make the trip.

As physically and civically involved as he was, Joe also had a passion for history and genealogy. He became a stellar archivist later in life, when he took ownership of his foster family’s landmark home in Cochecton, New York. He was on the board of the town’s historical society, and gave a memorable lecture covering the rich post-Revolutionary background of the house and area, and the noted figures that passed through them. Joe also turned that lens on his own life, writing an autobiography that explored his unique childhood circumstances and his search for (and eventually discovery of) his birth family.

Joe is survived by his loving wife Bernadette, his daughters Donna (Bill Boyle), Denise, Dawn, Dolores (Thomas Baker), and Dianne (John McDermott); his grandchildren Joseph (Alix Boyle), Ian (Jessica Boyle), Quinn, Jason (Ingrid Baker), Christopher, Shannon, Kevin, Kerry-Anne, Kyle and Chiara (Brayan Diaz); and his great-grandchildren Leela, Jack Brown, Kyle Jr., Ember, Capri and Gabriela.

Mass of Christian Burial will be livestreamed: https://boxcast.tv/view/defalco-funeral-118188