Mrs. Chui Yin Yu Lai

Chui Yin was born in Tsuen Wan, Hong Kong, on July 27, 1951. Tsuen Wan held many memories of Chui Yin. Chui Yin first met her husband Kam in Tsuen Wan Elementary School at the young age of 9, and they both graduated from Tsuen Wan Secondary School. Chui Yin and Kam lived in Tsuen Wan after they got married and their two children were born in Tsuen Wan. Without a doubt, Tsuen Wan was a significant part of Chui Yin’s life.

After high school, Chui Yin attended the University of Taiwan to further her study. She graduated from the foreign language department, majoring in English Literature. After graduation, Chui Yin returned to Hong Kong for a teaching position at a private high school. This was the beginning of her passion for teaching. Chui Yin taught in two other schools in Hong Kong, each time gaining the love and respect of her colleagues and students. Throughout the years, her students in Hong Kong kept in contact with her and many of these students became her friend.

Chui Yin immigrated to Vancouver with her family in 1993. Soon thereafter, she joined St. John’s International School as a school counselor. She guided her students through both school work and the problems they had in their daily life. As always, Chui Yin was completely devoted to her students and they placed in her their total trust. Throughout the 10 years she taught at St John’s, Chui Yin touched the hearts and lives of hundreds of students. She often said that her work at St John’s was the most fulfilling experience in her 30 plus years of teaching.

Chui Yin was a loving wife, a proud mother, and a caring daughter. Chui Yin and Kam lived with Chui Yin’s mother for 30 plus years after their marriage, taking care of all her needs. Chui Yin also loved her children unconditionally as she unreservedly gave them her time, wisdom, and support over the years.

Chui Yin and Kam loved each other completely and they were best friends. They enjoyed nothing more in the world than each other’s company. Time in no way diminished their love and devotion for each other. Over their thirty plus years of marriage, they shared many precious moments together and acted as each other’s pillar in life.

Chui Yin led a fulfilling life filled with laughter and joy. We will always remember her smile and will have her in our hearts. May she rest in peace and love.

-------------------- For Mom, From Ching Yu And Yeuk Yu --------------------

All children believe that their mother is the best. We are no different. To us, Mom is a caring, loving, and optimistic person. She has always been infinitely patient with us and she placed absolute faith in our abilities.

Kammy: Like all mothers, Mom worried about our studies and our futures, but she never pressured us into doing anything we are not interested in doing. For example, when I was three years old, Mom and Dad enrolled me in an English speaking kindergarten in Hong Kong in the hopes that I would become bilingual. I was a very shy girl who spoke no English and began hating school because I struggled to communicate with others. Ever perceptive, Mom quickly recognized the problem. Instead of forcing me to adapt, Mom transferred me into a Chinese speaking kindergarten. Mom’s wisdom lied in her understanding that the most important job of a parent is not to dictate the path of her children, but to provide a loving environment for her children to flourish and grow. Everything Mom did, she did it with our best interests in mind.

Kamson: Mom also taught us that we should follow our passions and she has always given us absolute freedom to explore our interests. When I decided that I would major in physics in university, Mom did not hesitate in giving her total support for my decision. Although Mom understood that I was capable of pursuing a more practical degree, she did not doubt that her son would succeed as long as I stayed true to myself and followed my passion. Mom of course was right as usual, and I went on to obtain a PhD in astrophysics. I was so happy that she got to attend my graduation two years ago.

As a parent, Mom of course wanted to see her children succeed but she trusted that we would make the right decisions for ourselves. From day one of our lives, Mom simply wanted us to become good, honest people and she hoped for us to be true to ourselves. We know this because her wish was embedded in our names. My name in Chinese is Yeuk Yu, which means “be yourself”. Kammy’s name in Chinese is Ching Yu, which means “be righteous”. Mom always offered us guidance and encouragement whenever it was necessary. She was ever present but never overbearing. We always knew that we had the unyielding support from Mom.

Kammy: Last Christmas, our whole family met in Seattle for a vacation. I remember my Mom pulled me aside and told me that as a parent she worried about four things: whether I would excel in my studies, whether I would have enough to eat, whether I would find love, and whether I would dress warm. She told me that of the four things she named, she believed that I have done well in my studies, that I have found love, and that she was sure that my fiancé Andy would keep me well fed since we both like to cook big meals like the famous roast duck that mom really loved. She said that the only thing she still worried about was whether I would dress warm for the cold Washington DC winters. For days after that, she shopped tirelessly for a warm winter coat and a pair of boots for me, or as dad called them, “winter tires.” Mom never spent that kind of energy and money on herself; she would never want to buy herself new clothes except for dresses for our weddings and graduations; but she would not hesitate to buy clothes for me. No matter how much I grew up, I remained her little girl, and I will never forget what it felt like to be Mom’s little girl.

Kamson: My favorite memory of mom is dancing with her at my wedding. It was the mother-son dance. Mom and I did not know how to dance, so we took a dancing lesson the day before the wedding. It did not help though, because as soon as the music started we forgot all of our dance steps. There were more than 100 people watching us dance in the center of the room, and I was slightly nervous. But I could tell from the look in mom’s eyes that she saw only me. Her expression was one of pride and joy, with a love only a mother can show without words. We danced as mother and son. That was the last time I danced with mom, and it was a dance that I will remember forever.

Mom taught us by example on how to be a good, honest person. We learned from her how to care unconditionally for our family. She taught us to pursue our dreams. We are still striving to be as patient, caring, and loving as Mom was. We hope that one day we will get there. But no matter what happens, we know that she loves us.

-------------------- From Chui Man: When I See The Starry Sky --------------------

When I see the starry sky,

You’ll be here in my mind.

I will remember your smiling face,

Transcends with unassuming grace.

You are a star bright and shiny,

Soothe my heart free from weary;

Your tender touch and bounty love,

Raise my soul high and up.

When I see the starry sky,

You’ll be here in my mind.

Somewhere out there, in the Milky Way,

We will see each other, one day.

~ In loving memory of my beloved sister Chui Yin Lai ~

-------------------- A Poem from St. John's International School --------------------

Yin Lai

Kind, compassionate, and solid in your support

Working steadily behind the scenes,

You have been a foundation

For us,

The students and the staff

A light in the dim tangle

Of student needs,

A bridge between St. John's,

Parents and guardians

An ever-smiling and uncomplaining presence

One that will be sorely missed

We decided to get you a lamp because it symbolizes light

To us, you are a light

Whatever you decide to do

Wherever you decide to go

You will bring light into the lives of those you touch

Thanks, Yin

We love you,

St. John's International School

October, 10th, 2003

-------------------- Farewell letter from the colleagues at St. John's International School --------------------

Dear Mrs.Lai,

You have been such a guiding light, reminiscent of a dragonfly, for the students at St. John's International School. Your patience, kind words, and determination to stand up for our students' hopes and dreams have been inspiring to us. We miss your warm presence and the students certainly miss the haven of your presence. Your have provided far more than a sympathetic ear to us, and the school is missing something vital and bright. We would never be able to replace you, and so must content ourselves with fond memories and the numerous comments from the students who have been lucky enough to benefit from your words of wisdom.

We chose a dragonfly pin for you because the symbolism of the dragonfly reminds us of you. The dragonfly symbolizes going past self-illusions to achieve growth through change. Dragonflies are fantastic flyers, they can change direction so quickly and can dart about, performing acrobatic movements in mid-air. Like the dragonfly, we hope that this change in direction will be both challenging and enlightening for you. We know that your ability to deal with, and grow from change will enable you to benefit from any situation you find yourself in.

Your personality is bright with many colours, just like the colours dragonflies reflect and refract. We will miss that brightness. We are ever grateful for the impact you have had on all of us.

May the beauty of the dragonfly be with you always,

signed

staff members of St. John International School - nine signatories

March, 2006

-------------------- Farewell Certificate from the Staff of St. John's International School --------------------

Guidance counsellors see students about any difficulties they may be having.

They help students explore feelings, thoughts, and behaviours and help students to understand them.

Helping students to plan and set goals in order to overcome these hassles is also a big part of what they do.

This certificate is being presented to

Mrs. Yin Lai

For all your years of hard work and dedication at

St. John’s International School

You have put in many years of your time and heart into helping hundreds of

Students and have made a major impact on their lives!

With all the best luck and love for the future

The Staff of St. John’s International School

March 17th, 2006

-------------------- Poem recited at the Funeral Service --------------------

Twice in my life I wept wholeheartedly.

Once, at the beginning of my life;

Once, at the end of your life.

The first time, I do not remember;

I only heard of it from you.

The second time, you would not know,

Nor would it matter if I told you.

But in between,

There was never-ending laughter!

Again, again, and again,

Resonating for thirty long years.

You know it, and I will remember.

By Yu Guang Zhong

Translated by Kammy Lai

* * * * * * * * * *

It is with great sadness we announce the passing of Mrs. Chui Yin Lai, a loving wife, a caring mother and a devoted teacher. She was born in Hong Kong, and passed away in Royal Columbian Hospital, BC on June 19, 2011 at the age of 59. She is dearly survived by her husband Kam Ching, her son Kamson and her daughter Kammy. She will be deeply missed by her family and friends.

Service of Remembrance will be held Saturday, June 24, 2011 at 2 pm at Forest Lawn Funeral Home, 3789 Royal Oak Avenue, Burnaby, BC.