Stella Wong 尹王笑玲

I took a deep breath in as my heart started to pound against my chest. “We suspect that your mom has advanced stage lung cancer. From the images we have gathered from the MRIs and CT scans, the cancer cells have [paused]...The cancer cells have spread into her lymph nodes, her bones, and her head.”

[Prelude…]

I was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed with my mom. I tried holding my tears back as I received the news. From the corner of my eyes I could see that my mom and dad were a little bit more than shocked. I could tell they were also trying to remain strong in front of me. From the limited English that they could understand and from the disbelief that was spreading quickly across my face, I could tell they were already piecing together what was going on. As I finished talking to the doctor, I turned around to face my parents. I held my mom’s hands. And with tears streaming down my face and all composure lost under the gravity of the situation, I spoke to them in Cantonese everything the doctor had just told me. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life - to be the person carrying so much weight and so much burden in telling my own mom that the days she has left are numbered.

Like many others, I have had my share of struggles throughout the pandemic - the loss of connections with people, the loss of opportunities, and the loss of life’s normalcy. And just as I thought 2021 may bring a new light and a new hope from the devastations of the pandemic, I was instead swept off my feet by mom’s diagnosis. This new threat had crushed my whole being. It was fierce and it was personal. Its force was so overwhelming, that I felt like I was going to drown. I was paralyzed by my own fear and powerlessness. I was not prepared to lose my mom. Yet, it was in these moments, that God made his presence very real to me. He did not change the circumstances of my new reality, but He remained faithful. He came alongside me, bringing life, water, and renewed hope as I embraced my mom’s diagnosis.

I remembered one night, while my mom was still in the hospital and I was lying on my bed crying and feeling very alone, the words of 2 Kings 6:15-17 kept replaying in my mind. It was a beautiful image of God's protection in the story of Elisha and his servant in Syria. “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, and said, “LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” Then the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

What spoke powerfully to me back then was that Elisha did not pray that God would change the reality of the circumstances that he and his servant was in. His prayer was for the servant to see the whole reality of the situation - that God was indeed protecting them and fighting for them in unseen ways.

When I was finally able to open my eyes, I began to have hope. I had no idea what I was to do. But with this imagery of an army of angels, horses, and chariots of fire surrounding me, protecting me, and urging me to not be afraid, I was able to sense God’s presence, His love and truth speaking powerfully to my soul. “Go... Go recruit prayer warriors to fight alongside this battle with you.”

[And so, the journey of a yearlong fight against cancer began…]

With unwavering faith, my mom gracefully accepted this challenge. Yes, there were times when she wept and lamented to God about her loneliness and helplessness. How can she not under these circumstances? But knowing this was a spiritual warfare as much as it was a physical warfare, she learned to let go and made space for Him to guide her. She prayed. And in the quietness and stillness of these prayers, she felt God nudging her to trust Him, to allow Him to work through her cancer diagnosis so that He may work powerfully through her to be His salt and light in this world for the time that she had left. In the remaining days, she not only allowed others to see her brokenness and weakness, but also allowed God’s sovereignty to shine through as she continued to live passionately, give generously, and serve sacrificially. She made the meals, drove the miles, opened her house, and tended to those who were struggling with deteriorating health. More than once, she lovingly and patiently sat with people and prayed over them. She laughed and cried and supported, encouraged, and prayed for all those she knew. She truly loved the way Christ loves.

She was able to do all this because God had already been planting seeds of courage, strength and perseverance in her since day one. Born during a time when many families were struggling socioeconomically and a father who was often away for work, her own mother struggled with the decision of continuing the pregnancy while my mother was in my grandmother’s womb. But God had other plans. Through the pleas of my mom’s sister and God’s protection, my grandma kept her. Though she was born prematurely and weighed only a few pounds with a small chance of survival, the fighting spirit within her began to sprout. This was the attitude she continued to have even when she experienced acute kidney failure and thyroiditis later in life because she always viewed her life as a gift from God. It is not time to go until He says it is.

In high school, teachers would often look down on her and did not think she would be able to graduate let alone do much in her life. This only motivated her to immerse her studies more diligently. Defying many people’s expectations, my mom went on to get a bachelor's degree in social work and thereafter served in a variety of roles within the society. These accomplishments, however, did not define who she was. Instead, these were yet another set of seeds planted by God to draw her closer to Him, to equip her and prepare her as she answered His calling for her to one day become a shepherd for His people.

While studying to become a social worker in university, she once broke down in tears to one of her professors. She had been listening in lectures about the different stages of the developmental attachments. She learned that if attachment with her children were not established by age three that she would not have a good relationship with them. She cried and felt guilty because studying and work had taken so much time and space from spending time to care for her children. But her teacher reminded her that what she reads in the textbook is only factual and it does not determine the final outcome. Love needs to be experienced. So despite not always being available to my brother and I, my mom still sought every opportunity she had to parent us - both in the big moments and small moments in life. It often came in the form of loving discipline, grounded teachings and living out an imperfect, but humbled life rooted in God. So just like that, my mom fought against the statistical evidence of research and she fought against the norm, and she fought against the struggle she had internally until she was ready to surrender and rely on God when it came to the upbringing of my brother and I.

She always taught my brother and I that it was the process that counted and not the result. It would be wrong to say that she lost her battle to cancer. No matter how sick she was, she was always determined. Throughout the battle against cancer, she would be the one to encourage me to stay strong and have faith in the Lord when she was the one suffering. There was just no quitting in my mom.

As a family, we are very proud of her and how far along the journey she had come. She lived a life with the transformative power of Jesus Christ within her. She ran the race before her faithfully. She fought a good fight. She never gave up. She finished well.

She rested in peace in the loving arms of our Father at Vancouver General Hospital on February 19th, 2022, at age 63. In her final moments, she leaned on my brother’s shoulder, while my dad held on to her other hand. I was at the foot of her bed with my hands resting on her knee. We were all present in the room and enjoyed a very rare and intimate moment as a family.

She is survived by her beloved husband, Otto Wan, and their two adult children: son, Luke Wan and daughter, Ada Wan. And also her dear siblings and many much-loved nieces, nephews, and friends.

[Thank you…]

A journey where I had felt so alienated and so alone was suddenly intertwined with an outpouring of grace from both God and the community (brothers and sisters in Christ, friends and family both locally and from afar, and the medical team at BC Cancer and South Community Health Centre). My sharing and my pleas for prayers and God’s healing mercy somehow became an invitation for all of you to walk alongside my mom and I in this journey - both in tangible and intangible ways. It created a space for you to meet me where I was mourning and grieving. And it also became a place where you were all able to celebrate the little victories my family and I had along the way. Your prayers (both oral and written) became the voice of my prayers. It gave me strength. It empowered me. It gave me hope. It helped me stay grounded in God and in His love. And it breathed new life to my walk with Christ (and I hope to yours as well). Thank you.

[Viewing, Celebration of Life Service, and Burial Service…]

There will be a time to say your final good-byes to Stella. Please see below for more information.

[Invitation to share a memory you had with Stella…]

We understand that it is not always possible to attend the service in person, so our family would like to encourage you to use our beautifully designed interactive online tribute to pay your respects. Leave a condolence, share a memory, post a photo, leave a voice message, light a candle and more!

慰問家屬及瞻仰遺容

2022年3月25日 星期五 晚上7:30--9:30

FOREST LAWN FUNERAL HOME

(3789 ROYAL OAK AVE., BURNABY)

生命禮讚追思會

2022年3月26日 星期六 上午10:00 - 11:30

列治文華人播道會

RICHMOND CHINESE EVANGELICAL FREE CHURCH

( 8040 NO. 5 ROAD, RICHMOND)

安葬禮

2022年3月26日 星期六 下午1:00

FOREST LAWN MEMORIAL PARK

因場地有限，歡迎參加網上現場直播追思會。

現場直播連結: https://youtu.be/aUPrVZLwtKA

敬辭花圈

Pastor Stella Wong, age 63, of Vancouver, British Columbia passed away on Saturday, February 19, 2022. Siu was born July 4, 1958.

A visitation for Stella will be held Friday, March 25, 2022 from 7:30 PM to 9:30 PM at Forest Lawn Funeral Home, 3789 Royal Oak Ave, Burnaby, BC V5G3M1.

A funeral service will occur Saturday, March 26, 2022 from 10:00 AM to 11:30 AM at Richmond Chinese Evangelical Free Church, 8040 No. 5 Road, Richmond, BC V6V 2V4.

A graveside service will occur Saturday, March 26, 2022 from 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, 3789 Royal Oak Ave, Burnaby, BC V5G3M1.

Due to the limited number of attendees, please join the

service on the live stream.

Livestream link: https://youtu.be/aUPrVZLwtKA

Please kindly refrain from sending flowers.